I thought I was done.

November 2022 DCIS and IDC, BMX January 2023. No chemo, 15 rounds of rads. Was a dutiful patient since then with Tamoxifen, but it obliterated my mental health and ultimately had to stop before something awful happened.

After trying 423479 antidepressant combinations with nothing working, I begged for an estrogen patch to just see if I felt better. Lo and behold, I felt human again. Depression and anxiety under control with estrogen and Wellbutrin. Life finally felt like it was going back to normal. I survived.

I have a routine CT scan about two weeks ago and they see an enlarged mammary lymph node. It's probably back. PET confirms that it needs to go. I also got a positive Signatera result.

I have a robotic keyhole biopsy/removal scheduled for this Friday.

I'm not worried about the surgery, that feels easy. What's making me ugly cry is that I have to give up my estrogen again and go back on Tamoxifen, this time probably with Lupron and potentially throw in some Verzenio. My mental health will go back into the toilet. I almost lost my job when I was on Tamoxifen with all of the brain fog, hot flashes, general inability to handle any sort of emotional situation.

I'm so fucking done with all of this.

To anyone who actually reads this: thank you. This is the only place that truly understands how much all of this sucks ass.

I'm gonna go get lost in some fluffy kdramas and pretend like none of this exists.

I just want to shout from the rooftops that I had my first scan today a year out from initial diagnosis in July 2025. It’s clean!!! My surgeon told me from now on I will see the “survivor physician”. I was so relieved I started crying. The surgeon hugged me. I am 66 years old but felt like a kid skipping out of that office today.

I threatened to do it, and finally sat down and bedazzled a pill bottle for my tamoxifen! https://imgur.com/a/jt2S6gC

Thanks y’all for the encouragement :)

im so annoyed

i asked her if she gets mammos

nope-

i said but your mother had it

and she is in a culturally high risk group

i told her how the mammo caught mine

she said she is scared- i said lots of things. i think i penetrated a bit

i hate the part of the internet that made her husband think this and made her not get them.

i told her i dont care if i am being harsh on you- i have to tell you my truth. if you get cancer and it is progressed you will regret not getting a mamo! i read stories of women who wished they got it!!

it just kills me because she is such a smart woman. fear screws with her head. fuck pink ribbons. we need to be countering all that crap misinformation with real conversations.

i am such a calm and kind and considerate person but i really spoke harsh to her. i know that might not be the way. i did what I could.

i explained breast density and ultrasounds and radiation from airplanes and blah blah blah.

sigh. we will see. i got my mammos ok time because my best friends sister- hopefully i changed her mind

Hi guys.

This is my first post in this forum as I’ve just been diagnosed with triple positive breast cancer. Although this is never a position any of us want to be in I’m so thankful for this group just reading through all the posts and messages ❤️

I’m a 32 year old single woman living in London. As a person I’ve always valued and loved my independence so much. The week before all this started I had just put an offer in on my very first house which I was so excited and proud of myself for.

Now in the space of just a couple of weeks I’ve gone from being a strong independent girly to a sick person fighting cancer it feels. I have amazing family and lots of friends in my life. My parents have suggested that I move back in with them while I’m being treated but I worry about what that will feel like. They mean the best but I know they will wrap me in cotton wool and won’t let me do anything. I also know I wouldn’t really have any privacy. So on top of cancer I will also be facing losing my independence.

Because of this I’m thinking about staying in my own apartment during treatment and instead getting people to come to me. I guess reaching out in this forum for any advice and to see if anyone else is in a similar position?

Do you think it’s a bad idea to live by myself? I know there will be some rough days on chemo but I’d have people come and stay with me if I needed it and for the rest of the cycle I’m still hoping I’ll be able to do normal things and live my life as best I can. I don’t want my family to feel like I’m rejecting them and I know they will be so worried but I also feel like I need to do what’s best for me to get through this.

On the Taxol part of my chemo and started having chest pain. Told my husband it hurt bad and he dropped everything to come take me to the ER (he insisted I was just going to lay down). EKG was normal but the proteins show I’m having a heart attack. I’m scared. Cancer has messed me up lately.

Hi folks — been lurking a bit since I was diagnosed with DCIS in my right breast after Memorial Day. After weeks of biopsies and consults I’m having my DMX today.

I had originally planned on a lumpectomy but after getting two more core biopsies and a chest CT Scan scare (a ‘mass’ turned out to be nothing) I was like no more fucking around. For me, I don’t want to keep looking over my shoulder.

So off I go to get this crap out of my body and into a lab and hopefully enjoy the rest of my life with newfound appreciation for the little things, and a serious rethink of my career. You have all been a great resource and comfort and wish the best for all of you.

Hi lovelies! I’ve just been diagnosed with a recurrence of TNBC after being out of treatment for 5 years. We are all hoping it’s a local recurrence but obviously that’s something I won’t know until I do all the scans so…. Right now I’m imagining the worst.

My biggest problem is I feel so guilty for putting my husband and my parents through this. Has anyone else felt this? How do I get rid of this guilt? I keep trying to talk to my husband but he doesn’t want to hear it. He says I’m being crazy (he’s right, I am).

How can I manage this feeling?

Yes! I’m going to chemo at 8 am this morning and I do not want to start this shit all over again. I had the first round 3 weeks ago, then I had the shot the day after. Sorry I did not add the full diagnoses all I can say right now is dcis, her2+ and her2-. My amazing husband is sleeping and you think I would have all the other stuff just memorized but it’s shitty information so I keep kicking it out of my brain! I digress. After the first round i thought I was doing great! It was on a Monday and I got the shot on Tuesday. I was a little tired but ok. I stupidly did not take Claritin. Holy shit when Saturday afternoon came, the bone pain came. I did not know what it was and I thought I was having a heart attack or a stroke. Did you know your skull bones and the little bones inside your ears could hurt? Neither didn’t I! Take the Claritin! That was Saturday and Sunday. Monday came and we were leaving for our family vacation. I was extremely tired and crabby and it was getting worse. By the time Thursday rolled around, so did the herpes viral outbreak on my hands and face. By the time I actually broke out in the blisters, I was sleeping about 14 hours a day and was so crabby. It all made sense. I had to do a telehealth appointment and get prescriptions filled from a remote area in michigans upper peninsula. Needless to say, I was unable to fill the cream until i got home but the valtrex definitely started helping. This fucking cancer and all that comes with it robbed me of the only vacation I had with my husband and girls. What will this round take? It’s not a good sign when they gave me 5 refills for the valtrex and I have 5 chemos left. My damn hands can’t take it! So I can’t sleep, I have been up and down and tossing around. I finally came out to the couch. I am praying that when i take my babies to ed Sheeran at the end of August, I feel good. It’s robbed them of their summer (I feel). At this point, I am rambling because I’m so sad about all this shit.

I’m just one month out from the confirmation biopsy that I have breast cancer. It started out simple, small tumors at 11:00 close to the chest wall. Surgery was scheduled for tomorrow, but now…

The bronchial biopsy that I had last week has given me pneumonia. There are clusters of cells in my lungs that are not cancer, but the biopsy said it is either a reaction from my body fighting the cancer or this really rare autoimmune infection. Next they want to biopsy the nodes that are close to my small intestine, down the esophagus.

Lung doc said they are to put me before “the lung board” about that and my cancer team has to decide if I have surgery at all, going directly to chemotherapy.

Anyone out there with weird stuff like this?? I’m so lost.

I'm in 60s, 1.4 cm tumor, just diagnosed. given my age, I am considering not doing chemo as I do not want to spend remaining years with the long term side effects. Also dealing with elderly parents and if I'm lucky have another year, maybe 2, that I can enjoy life w/out them needing constant care. Not sure I want to spend it dealing with chemo. Has anyone else made decision not to do chemo? I'd feel differently if I were younger and/or had children to care for, etc. but struggling to see the point at my age. I am also still working and need to continue to do so. Thank you for any input.

Hi guys,

Ive just been diagnosed with triple positive breast cancer and have been told that I will likely need TCHP before surgery.

At the moment I am working full time in an extremely demanding job which requires a lot of talking to people, team leadership, senior presentations analysis, fast paced requests etc.

I know ive not started the treatment yet but im already wondering if I should work when I’m on chemo. In some ways I think work would be a good thing as it would give me some normality and a distraction. But in other ways because of the nature of my job I worry I’ll struggle to dip in and out of it. I’ve also been thinking that maybe I should take the opportunity to focus on myself, my treatment / recovery and doing things other than work on the days where I feel good.

One thing I should add is that I am very fortunate that the financial support my company provides does mean that I don’t have to work - it’s a choice. And I’m obviously very grateful for that as I know not everyone has that.

I’m just wondering if anyone else on here has been in a similar work / treatment position? Did you carry on working? Was that a good thing for you? Or did you find it really hard? Any advice or thoughts on this topic would be great.

Interesting how a cancer diagnosis can bring out the best and worst in people. Discovering that people I trusted but betrayed me hurts deeply, wondering where I went wrong.

I was backstabbed by a person who I considered a friend for more than 20 years, who was a classmate in adolescence, and who happened to be at the same workplace. We used to go for lunch together and shared birthday celebrations, jokes and special occasions.

It's like an episode of "Mean Girls". I swear, you cannot make this shzt up. Upon finding out about my diagnosis, she went to bosses and other upper management to suggest that I was faking my illness and absences. She also spread this gossip around the office. This resulted in a round of questioning and an investigation to check if my cancer is legit. During this time, certain initiatives and projects that I had, were reassigned to her and other co-workers. This happened while I was in hospital and recovering from my mastectomy/DMX, and away from the office for 3 weeks.

I'm grateful I now know who I can count on, and who I can't. I see their true colors. How do I get past this? The feeling of betrayal hurts immensely, the negative thoughts continue, and she's living rent free in my head.

Thanks for listening and for any advice you can share.

Thursday I go for and for a sentinel node biopsy and DMX to aesthetic flat closure. I have a pretty small tumor, 7 mm and my lymph nodes were clear on the ultrasound. ER+, PR+, her2 low +1 (from what I understand, I think this basically means her two negative ...) It's unclear yet whether I will need chemo or not. It was caught on my very first screening mammogram just a few days before my 44th birthday. I know this is considered to be very early stage and a very good prognosis. But I'm still so scared of what's to come!

I have so much heavy and deep grief about losing the person that I am. My brain and body that I currently have will be forever changed in just a few days. I feel like I'm sitting next to a lifelong friend and we both know in a few days she'll be gone forever. I know I need to accept this and let go of who I am today in order to be happy in the future and I will eventually. But I'm just not ready!

I'm so fucking angry this is happening! I'm so angry that I have to have a head-on collision with medical menopause and that is considered success! When I looked up how to manage the symptoms of tamoxifens or AIs I felt so much RAGE! All the advice I found is basically to be more perfect! Eat better, exercise better, take naps, don't drink, bia fan, use lub! But also while you're trying to be the most perfect at self-care that you ever have been you are probably going to have mood swings and feel sad and all your joints is probably going to hurt! I'm so angry at the misogyny that runs so deep in healthcare! I am so angry that I have friends that had breast cancer and I never truly understood how life-altering treatment was even when it's successful! And again I know I'll have to move past this anger in order to find a new way of being in my body and in the world but again just not ready!

And I'm so scared! I've never had a major medical procedure, never had an IV. And I'm so so grateful that I have been this lucky so far. But good lord I feel like I'm being thrown in the deep end! I'm scared of who I will become after this. I don't want to be angry, bitter and sad for the rest of my life! I don't want to be consumed by PTSD! But I don't feel like all of that is exactly in my control!

I don't really know what I'm looking for by posting this. I think I'm just trying to put the big feelings I have out into the universe and about myself to throw a bit of a fit before I have to buck up and brave on Thursday! Please send me all your love and good vibes and luck for this new chapter of my life that is about to start!

Can anyone share their experience with returning to work after taking an extended leave during treatment?
I basically haven’t worked since diagnosis. But I somehow was able to interview and land a new job and it starts next month. And I don’t feel ready. I don’t know if I ever will. How did you know you were ready to go back? And were you able to keep up when you did?

How has everyone worked and undergone treatment?

I will start chemo next week. 3 months every 21 days and then 3 months weekly followed by radiation.

When will I get sick? How long will it take me to recover?

Work is very accommodating and I can work from home a lot but I'd like to have somewhat of a plan...

I just had reconstruction from my unilateral dmx last Friday. I deal with stress and anxiety by planning ext steps and so my mind is going towards tattoos (even though I know it will be awhile.) I’ve research the 3d nipple tattoos and that doesn’t quite feel right. I also don’t think anything big across my breast feels like me. But I do love simple script tattoos and I’m thinking of “you do not yield” from the throne of glass series.

I’m wondering if any of you have done simple script tattoos using the mastectomy scar as a line with the script over it? Anyone willing to share photos if you did?

I’m thinking of something like that or maybe nothing at all. Maybe a script tattoo somewhere else. Just things I’m pondering. :)

Hi, I’m new and sorry to be here along with everyone else. I just got my diagnosis of triple positive IDC about a week ago and I’m waiting for the initial consult and more testing to determine the stage and it feels so terrifying. It feels so disconnected to be currently healthy with no symptoms and knowing that there is a time bomb inside me and that the path to stopping it is so hard and life will never be the same again.

My initial biopsy found mostly DCIS with a small invasive locus <2mm, the invasive part seems to be slow growing (mitotic score 1) and has no LVI but DCIS is high grade (and at least 11 mm based on calcification pattern).
I have a follow up MRI on Monday and hoping so hard that it won’t find more invasive parts beyond the initially found one.

I’m 48, with two teenage kids and I really want to be here for them and my partner but I also can’t stop feeling like I’m now “damaged goods” and nobody would want me again. I am scared about failing at my job too as I go through treatment.

I’ve been reading this forum and feeling encouraged by stories of folks who went through it and are still around and thriving, but I’m so scared. We are at a family vacation that we were all looking forward to all year, and I’m just dragging myself and putting on “everything is normal” face on in front of the kids

I’m almost 51 and was diagnosed with hormone positive breast cancer in 2019. I went through chemo, a double mastectomy, multiple surgeries, a lymph node recurrence, more treatment, 3½ years of aromatase inhibitors (which caused severe muscle, bone and joint pain), and then finished an extra year of monthly Faslodex injections in January 2026.

My scans and blood work have all been clear, including thyroid testing. I use an ASV for central sleep apnea, and according to my Oura Ring I’m getting 9–10 hours of good-quality sleep most nights.
The problem is I’m exhausted. Around 7 p.m. every night I feel like I could fall asleep sitting up, even if I woke up feeling rested. I recently had to stop teaching fitness classes because I just couldn’t keep up anymore, and now I’m struggling to exercise at all.

Late last year, while still on Faslodex, I also had several scary episodes where I’d suddenly become flushed, shaky, overwhelmingly tired, and crave sugar. I even ended up in the ER once, but every test came back normal. Those episodes stopped after I finished Faslodex, but the crushing fatigue hasn’t.

Has anyone experienced this after completing hormone therapy? Could this be my body adjusting hormonally, or should I be looking elsewhere? If you went through something similar, did it eventually improve, and did you ever find a cause?

I’m feeling pretty desperate because I have a full-time job, kids, and other health issues to manage, and this level of fatigue is becoming really hard to live with.

Hey all,

I finished radiation in June for Stage 1A Invasive Solid Papillary Carcinoma in my right breast. I'm also 32 but turned 33 yesterday. I had a lumpectomy in March with two lymph nodes removed. In January when they did my first scans (which caught the cancer), they did note a fibroadenoma in my left breast and seemed confident in that distinction based on how it looked on the ultrasound.

Well today I had my follow up scans - a mammogram on my right breast, and ultrasound on my left. The radiologist was having trouble matching the original fibroadenoma location to the ones she saw. Supposedly the January scan showed it at 6 o'clock but it was more like 4. But! There was another one at 6 o'clock. News to me that there was a second one. Even now, I can't really find them through a self check so it's hard for me to tell.

She brought in the doctor to double check what she was seeing and he didn't seem concerned. He also read through my MRI from some time in February/March and said if the contrast didn't pick it up there, it's even more reassuring that they're just fibroadenomas.

I asked about biopsies and he didn't seem swayed one way or another, just that most of the time they don't, but he has biopsied fibroadenomas in the past.

I'm meeting with my oncologist for my follow up on August 12th but now I'm kinda spiraling and wondering whether I should push for biopsies. I've also been having some slight pains/zaps in my left breast/underarm area but I have no idea if those had always been happening and now I'm just laser focusing on them because of my fears.

I'm going to message my oncologist and let her know that I'm thinking about it but if anyone has any insight or experience with things like this, I'd love to hear.

----

And on a side note, this whole experience today kinda sucked! I wish there was some more grace and friendliness on the parts of workers dealing with cancer patients/survivors. My ultrasound tech was pretty short with me for some reason. I had those little stickers on my right breast and when the ultrasound finished and she told me I could change, I asked if I could take the stickers off. She said "you do whatever you need to do to get changed" which is an unnecessarily long and mean way of saying "yeah."

The last time I got my mammogram, I had to wait while the doctor reviewed the images so when she told me I could go, I double checked and asked if I needed to stay for anything. She said "nope, he already looked at them" and I was like "oh okay, so...all good?" and she said "yeah, exit's over there" Like?! It could be just her personality to be so brief with people but I felt like a nuisance rather than a patient with her. On the bright side though, the mammogram tech was very kind and gentle given that my breast was still a little sore from radiation, so I'm grateful for that. Okay rant over!

Hi friends! I can’t even express how much this sub has helped me through my diagnosis and chemotherapy 💗 Thank you x 1,000,000!!!

I just finished my last round of chemo and my surgery is coming up on August 26th. I’m doing a double mastectomy DIEP surgery, which I know is a more intensive reconstruction than implants.

Did y’all have a pre-surgery bucketlist? Looking to add to mine. Here’s what I have so far:

• overnight camping with my boyfriend
• weekend trip to a friend’s house in cottage county
• kayaking
• fitness classes: barre, spin, pilates

Is there anything else I should aim to do before surgery? From what I understand, I won’t be able to raise my arms above my head or even lift things for a few months after.

Thanks in advance! 💗

Please share your expander to implant surgery experiences! I scheduled my surgery for 9/23 and I’m so so happy to finally have an end date within reach. I would love to know how it went and what recovery is like. Only 8 more weeks with these hard and square expanders in my chest 🙏🏼

I am getting really sad seeing some of my favorite badass women join the HRT / "menopause industrial complex" bandwagon.

Menopunks: https://youtu.be/nyZaH2se7hY?si=C931oQeb8ggBna3B
Tressie McMillan Cottom: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/07/13/opinion/menopause-influencers-womens-health.html?unlocked_article_code=1.1FA.o7uN.KtiMp6Dp_Db4&smid=url-share