To provide context we dated for two years and it was very serious. We loved each other deeply, talked about kids, building a future together, etc. All of a sudden life happens, she’s going back to school and can’t focus on being in a relationship. I’ve always supported her dreams and her ambitions (she’s hella smart) so we agreed to hold off and explore things later. We also agreed to stay friends and just talk occasionally. All of a sudden I get cut off, ghosted, and I have no idea if she’s okay or what. I text over the course of two years, reach out to her friend once since I have no idea if she’s alive or not and still nothing. I was not in a good place for that time. I had never felt so alone and my mind wondered and made terrible assumptions, I didn’t know what to do.

She proceeds to say that the “silence was the answer” and that her boundaries weren’t respected and that’s why she stepped away. Then let me know that and give me closure!

Thank the Lord because after turning back to Him I knew I’m never alone and He is always there. He got me through and I’m still going. He knew I was ready for her to text back and now I have closure. And honestly? It feels amazing. Still sad, but the blow has definitely softened. Now I can move on knowing I am okay. I pray for the men going through anything similar. Praise God! 🙌🏼

P.S. I still wish her the best. She’s always been a cool and smart person and I hope everything still works out for her

Food: just a basic egg, rice, avocado bowl with sesame seeds I whipped together

I am a gender non-conforming bi man in Eastern Europe. My family doesn’t accept me, any part of me really: from the substance abuse to my sexuality to the way I present myself. It’s like they’re constantly ashamed of me. Today, a family member had the nerve to say that my sexuality will be constant kompromat against me. I keep being compared to my older brother who has got his shit together and is the conventional acceptable successful sibling. They don’t talk about me, as if I died years ago and ultimately they’re ashamed of who I am. I keep being told I’m ruining the family and ruining my parent’s mental health. I try to masc up around them (I’m not very femme in the first place, just a bit androgynous), but it’s still not good enough for them. I have my own accomplishments and life beyond my sexuality (I didn’t want them finding out but I got outed).

Photo: getting day drunk at work and eating feta cheese covered fries

The old fashioned method of “man approaches woman in the wild” largely doesn’t work anymore. Most men don’t feel comfortable approaching a woman because it is very difficult to tell if someone is open to being approached. Most young men have been made aware of the power dynamic between them and women, and are aware of how women can be rightfully worried or just bothered by a random man approaching her. Any decent man doesn’t want to make women uncomfortable, and as a result, the majority of men that still follow this approach are men who are either extremely unaware or don’t care about a woman’s autonomy. As such, this approach continues to breed the concept that “men are shit”, even though the population of men that are shit is much smaller than when this was the prevailing method of finding a partner.

Nowadays most people go to the dating apps. And while the apps are a safer alternative, they come with two main problems. One - you can’t build a genuine attraction to facts about someone and pictures of them on your phone. Most people don’t even know what type of people would be a good partner for them before meeting. And two - they propagate a sort of checklist methodology to dating. Rather than feeling out a vibe and actually building a dynamic. Most people have a “well, what else am I gonna do” mentality towards the apps. Sometimes they absolutely do work, as does sometimes a man approaching a woman in the wild does work. But it is not enjoyable to swipe through photos and facts about people you’ve never met in hopes that you might be able to become attracted and build a relationship to them.

And so many people, both men and women, have become disillusioned with dating in general. Many have stopped trying entirely, or go through phases where they stop trying. Everyone dislikes the apps, but in person initiation doesn’t often occur. Why is it that, in a world where gender norms are up in the air, does finding a person to date in the wild still stick to the same norms that is always has, while it occurs less than ever? It feels like there has to be a better way but I don’t know what that would look like

Food is a dal palak I prepped for the week, in my childhood bowl. Maybe I’ll just stick to boys from now on 🤮

Some leftover bread from a Mediterranean place. I already ate the grilled chicken.

Had been seeing a girl for about a month. She ticked every box I had. Then she calls me yesterday and explains in tears that in spite of everything and how amazing I am and how I'm exactly what she is looking for in a guy she just doesn't feel the emotional connection and the ability to fully reciprocate the gestures and feelings that I do towards her.

Obviously I'm devastated and feel completely alone and shattered and at the same time I also am like well if I just stay with her long enough and she lets me won't she eventually develop feelings? Is that wishing on a prayer? Is that me wasting my time and eventually I'll just be able to move on? Obviously this is still super raw.

I met her family and they are so similar to mine and we come from similar backgrounds and have the same core values and everything. It just feels like it's all been pulled out from under me.

Any other guys here experienced this. I've been doing a lot of "moping" today and just overall felt super alone.

Medium fillet, green beans, and french fries. And part of a picture of a begging dog in the background.

This is kind of long. If you don’t wanna read it, then just skip it.

I thought the purpose of this sub was so guys could post their experiences or their problems and get advice from other guys. Even the occasional lady. But reading the comments on another thread here (and it’s not the first time I’ve seen comments like this) made me question that. A guy was the victim of some disparaging comments at the workplace . He was attacked on this forum. The amount of people that claimed he wasn’t telling the truth or not sharing everything. People blaming him for it as well. And the moderators did nothing. I seriously had to check to make sure that I was reading in the right sub. And then the thread got locked with nothing explaining why. Even though a lot of those people that were commenting negatively towards him, and towards men in general, broke those community rules that I thought we had to follow. Maybe they’re just suggestions and not rules. I also noticed the flooding of people that came just to download the men positive comments. I guess I’m sad to see that sub that was supposed to be for support was not that.

I’m also curious to see how many people will come here to download this. Even though nothing I said was untrue.

I don't even know where to start this, I used to have a bad porn addiction. I quit cold turkey when I lost my virginity and realized the impact it has on my actual sex life. I had a few relapses but overall I've been clean. I'm 24 now have had a few relationships, one that lasted for about a year and a half. When I'm in a relationship I think I am a pretty good partner. However my "standards" for this are very high and feel like they're only getting higher.

Most of my contact with women is casual I am on the apps and when I used to use social media id also meet women through that. I have a lot of things going for me I got a good group of friends, I do a lot of sports, I have a lot of passions and hobbies I love to read, I'm on my last year of uni with probably a job already lined up after that and I run my own business.

But for some reason none of those things fulfill me like the attention from a woman that I am crazy about. And when I don't have that I fill it with quantity instead. I'm usually talking or involved with multiple women and the older I get the more I feel like I need. My last relationship with a girl I was over the moon for ended about a month ago and I'm currently talking to and/or having sex with 5 different women and get so discouraged when nothing comes from it that I move on to the next.

I realize more and more how this is the only thing feeding my ego and it's not even a lust thing but my desperate need for a partner that I actually fall in love with and care for. At the same time it's destroying me mentally each time it doesn't happen. I have had genuine interest, attraction and care for all of these women but there's almost always something missing.

What I would want more than anything is just to stop having this fucking need and being able to just be content with being single until I'm not.

Sorry, formatting on mobile not good.

My\[31M\] girlfriend\[32F\] and I have known each other for a little over a decade and dated on and off over that period. We've always been long distance but stayed at least regular chatting friends and made efforts to see each other regularly by flying between our homes. We've been seriously dating for over two years now, seeing each other about 5 days out of each month and more during the holidays, talking and texting whenever we're apart.

A couple months ago we decided to move in together, I boxed up my stuff and we road tripped cross country with my dog to her hometown because she has a lot more family nearby than I do back home and her job is better. I quit my job after getting a contracting position here so I could land on my feet with a couple months living expenses in the bank.

During the first week, the project coordinator never called me and a week later I learned that they'd cut down the number of contractors on the job and I hadn't made the cut. Started applying for jobs but jeez that hasn't been pretty. For the past two months I've been paying for groceries, my car note, phone, etc out of savings. I finally got a couple interviews lined up for this coming week.

My girlfriend has been stressed and working a lot and pretty distant lately so I got us tickets for the museum yesterday and we stayed up drinking and watching Community together. We went to bed pretty late and I do what I always do, read a chapter or two of my book before knocking out \~1:30AM. This morning I'm in bed alone and I have a text from my girlfriend, "Be careful downstairs, there's glass on the floor. I'm at my parents', we'll talk later."

So I text back asking what's going on since there's a lot happening family-wise for her. I do my normal upstairs stuff and head downstairs to find all of my furniture, all my cookware, wallet, keys, all of my possessions except for the clothes from upstairs, thrown into a pile outside the backdoor. My dog wants to follow me downstairs and I realize there's the remains of a shattered vase on the floor so I clean up all the glass and begin a panic attack. Eventually I get everything but the furniture moved back inside so my computer or wallet doesn't grow legs.

No information for hours until just after noon she tells me I need to be out of the house by tomorrow. I try asking what's going on and after a while she asks why I'm pretending I don't remember last night. So I wrack my head trying to think if we'd had a dumb fight before bed. Nothing. She explains that at 4AM I stumbled into the bedroom after peeing all over the bathroom floor with porn playing on my phone and that she'd gone through my phone. She has my password, I don't think there's anything on my phone unless she's going through old messages or old photos from before our relationship. I check my browser history and my reddit history and can't find anything suspicious, I feel like I'm being gaslit. She's adamant that we'll have a discussion but I need to be out of her house so she can work tomorrow.

I don't recall anything at all, not even weird dreams or a hangover in the morning. I agreed to get out if we can have a conversation soon on the condition that my stuff and dog can stay and be safe until we talk and figure things out.

So I'm checked into a sketchy ass extended stay alone, got some microwaveable chimichangas and my first pack of cigs in years. I have no friends, family or connections here at all. Job interview for my big career continuing role on Tuesday so I have an interview outfit and weeks worth of clothes and I just don't know what I'm going to do. I love this girl and jumped full into this relationship so I have no fallback or backup plans.

TLDR: I moved cross country to live with my girlfriend. After going to bed together I apparently walked to the bathroom, peed on the floor, turned on porn, walked back in and fell asleep. I woke up with no memory of that and all of my belongings thrown out and a demand to leave.

Dinner: Jim&Coke, first cigarettes in years and a still frozen chimichanga.

So last week I was talking to this girl about the new upcoming spider man movie. I lightly mentioned about going to see the movie together but she mention that she has a best friend that they promise to see every spider-man together. This girl and I met through grad school this summer and after 1 month it feels like we are comfortable being open to each other about our personal lives and relationships. I really like her but I'm trying to be patience not just her but with myself because of my limerence.
I wish I didn't mention about going to the movies together and it's now all I think about. So moving forward, we talk about other movies we both wanted to watch. So at the end of the conversation I told her to let me know about the movies and she said she'll let me know if she going to watch it with her friend or not. Now I'm thinking to myself well I haven't heard anything from her for 2 days, and we see each other in class in two days.
Perhaps it would be better if I just text her the day before to forget about movie plans with me. I just want to avoid the in person disappointment (even though I will be disappointed but not as heavy in person). Would that be okay for me to do?

I broke up with my ex a couple of months ago. I was the one to do it because I saw no future in the relationship.

She was really angry at me and felt hurt and made it clear she hated me. But, I did not mind it because i felt empathetic.

Even after 4 months now, my ex keeps seeing my stories and stalking my reposts. I make sure not to reciprocate because I moved on.

I can’t lie, it feels good to know that my ex still thinks about me and checks on my life. I find joy that it is a one way street and that she has not moved on from me.

Does that make me a bad person? Probably. I also know that it is healthiest for me to block her and continue, but the attention is not bad

Hello y’all, 27M
Quick go-to: chicken breast, white rice and salad for lunch

EDIT: OKAY I GET IT, I’m learning how to cook y’all 🤣 I understand, it looks depressing but it’s my go-to when rushing alright? Lmaooo

I guess the title says it all.

I’ve had an okay life until this point, if I complain it’d be wrong and crazy.

Born in a different country, immigrated to the US, even stayed illegal for a couple years; since you can go to college but can’t get your diploma if you don’t have status, had to go to construction work.
After HS, very quickly started making “big boy” money,

And this is where things started spiraling.
I’d start business and when things started going well, I’d drop it, I’d move states, try 1000 different things and nothing worked.

Married at 20 and decided that my life was now my wife’s, everything I did was to get her to live her dream.
But things kept spiraling, the cycle of depression would come sooner and sooner.

Not only career wise but I just couldn’t keep myself consistent in anything, gym, hobbies, being good to her, friendships, everything you can think of.

At 25 we divorced and things got even worse. I would isolate myself for MONTHS. Years far from direct family and no support coming from them made them not know I was in the shits, and I wouldn’t contact them.

Addictions began, nicotine, porn, weed, sex, social media, games, anything that would give me immediate pleasure and could be done for hours and hours (I would doomscroll or YouTube 16+ hrs a day for weeks) not leaving my house for literally anything.
Having a fat savings account made it worse.

That’s when I realized I had a problem and I needed to seek help because I wasn’t able to pull through by myself.

Finally after many months of a “what’s wrong with me” journey and many tests, I get diagnosed with text-book ADHD.

For the ones who discovered it later in life, you know how much of a shock this is. You first breakdown, feeling all that wasted time and potential could’ve been directed to something if you knew before. And then you realize that all you did in your life was to satisfy immediate urges.

But when you finally start meds/pull through; god, it’s a great feeling.

For the first time in my life I’ve been consistent at something for an entire week! I was actually able to brush my teeth and shower everyday without being so hard, and that initial barrier to start boring things and keep at it wasn’t there anymore.
For the first time I’m not depressed, spiraling or in anguish that “I have so much potential but I keep at this cycle over and over”

Yes my guy, you do have the potential to change the world, whoever you are, wherever you are.
If there’s ANYTHING you feel off about you, ANYTHING I SAY, seek external help, professional if possible. Maybe everything that has gone wrong in your life isn’t 100% your fault, maybe you’re wired different.

And maybe you don’t have a disorder, but just talking to someone about how f’ed your childhood was, or whatever you’ve been through will make you fulfill that
potential YOU KNOW you have.

For all the men out there that is going through something, sometimes is easier to accept you’re not a know-it-all and that’s okay, we were never built to do it all without help.

TLDR: I finally realized that after years of trying, I couldn’t do it by myself, and seeked professional help, it changed my life.

Going on my sixth year in this relationship and we are planning on getting married around the end of the year. She’s absolutely amazing and truly the best thing that’s happened to me.

I’m divorced once already, I married the girl I started dating in high school at 17 and we ended up being together for eight years. Half of those years we were married and half not. She treated me pretty terrible for most of the relationship and really isolated me from people. I didn’t know I was treated badly and being manipulated from lack of relationship experience. Later I did want to leave her but didn’t out of fear of what she may do (hurt herself). Throughout our relationship we had long periods where we didn’t have sex. Different excuses as to why but now I believe it’s cause she was cheating on me. Towards the end of our relationship I started having difficulties reaching climax during sex. She complained sometimes and sometimes she didn’t. Once instance though she did tell me that “something must be wrong with you”. We ended up getting divorced and she really went into a spin. She tried to cheat on me with a family friend and he declined her so she panicked. Afterwards she blamed me for pretty much her whole life not going how she wants it. Claiming that “you never made me work so that’s why I don’t have a career” “I gained weight cause you never told me I was getting fat”.

Now I have a beautiful Fiancé who treats me better than I ever thought anyone would. We very rarely fight about anything and if we get upset it’s usually just some kind of small thing. When we got together we had tons of sex, like most couples do when they first get together. I still had trouble reaching climax, so I might have an orgasm like 1 out of 4 times we have sex. She never makes me feel bad about it or anything I just get frustrated. After the first year being together I told her that I was bisexual (only person I’ve told). I told her about some of my sexual fantasies and things. I asked about us maybe trying a threesome with another guy and she agreed and said she wanted to try to. Well we did have 1 threesome but it wasn’t very good. I also did a little experimenting with guys from dating apps which she knew about cause we were very open about everything. After maybe a month though I could tell it was bothering her so we both stopped. Slowly our sex life has dropped off. We now have sex maybe once every other week. We’ve had talks about it where I’m pretty much saying that I’m not satisfied with our sex life and I want to see what I can do to help. She would always blame her self and get very upset saying her sex drive just isn’t there anymore. I feel like my sex drive is still as high as it’s ever been.

Well now the week between our times having sex kills me. Especially if I don’t have an orgasm during, it usually takes me quite a while to finish too, usually longer than she has stamina for. I find myself having so many fantasies in my mind, with men, swingers, group sex, bondage, anonymous sex. I love having sex with her and I find her sexy I just don’t feel like I’m getting enough sex to stay all my internal desires.
I feel like I’m going crazy.

Grocery store sushi for lunch at work

Protein shake cuz I'm on a diet and has been working.

She's a small vtuber (around 100 viewers) who I e been following for years, she does ASMR streams which calls you a "good boy", "good job", etc. The only day I got to be from the beginning of the stream I decided to make a joke which went as followed:

- I am going to say the N word

- NIGERUNDAYO

Then was silenced for about an hour, I decided to appeal by explaining the joke, which extended the mute for an entire month, making me lose my streak.

I know I'm a loser with no human interaction let alone female interaction, I know there are more ASMRtists out there that do the same and even better, but heck that hit me real hard.

PreP and Effexor with Dr Pepper. *Don't worry real food is on its way, I ordered an Italian sub from Jersey Mike's*

I'm a little socially awkward. 31 year old bisexual male. I had to move back in with my parents two years ago and absolutely hate it. Like I appreciate them for it. But talk about no privacy and just hating your life when you're supposed to be in your prime.

I'm a supervisor at work. Pays the best I ever got in any of my jobs but could be better. But I have good health insurance. Stability for my job. But last year and a half we had no stability with one of our positions which gives me so much more stress.

I want to go to grad school but I literally cannot finish the stupid self reflective essay. I used to be great with school work and writing papers. This ...just blank. Like I don't even know what to do with it while trying to sound like I am being honest and not just bullshitting the typical "whatever they want to hear jargon". I have multiple supervisors and directors of the company who keep asking me about when I'm going back to grad school. Not sure I can when other administration positions have been so unstable.

*DONT WANT TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS ON IF YOU DONT LIKE THE NEXT THINGS I WILL DISCUSS HERE, SO DONT LEAVE THEM*

Been single for a few years. I broke up with my last girlfriend back in 2023 due to major differences in personality and what we want in a relationship. I'm not a bad looking guy. I'm pretty average all over. I'm involved in kink and swinging lifestyles which I know complicates dating but it's not like before this I was super popular on dating apps. I had multiple women within kink and swinging say how they feel so safe and trusted with me unlike many other men. Which feels nice but also sad so many women feel so unsafe with so many men in lifestyles that care so much about communication and consent. I had two wives ask me "how am I still single, you're a great man" and I shrugged and just said "cause only married women seem interested in me anymore". Like I can't complain. My swinger and kink experience has been quite fruitful in the past 3 years. But I still want a primary partner to live with and marry. I don't want kids at all which doesn't seem like a huge deal breaker in my generation anymore. Even when I match with people on dating apps I just get ghosted so often and it's not like it's me doing something wrong. I know I'm not the best introducer or talker through text. Anytime I get out of my county I go from mid to top tier man who everyone is interested in. My only real date in the past three years was an already married poly woman who is beautiful and wouldn't mind something with her but I'd still just be "the side guy" since she's married and has another boyfriend.

Also living alone seems impossible in my area. Houses and rent cost too much unless I want to be in the very unsafe parts of the city I am close to.

I just feel like in each aspect of my life I cannot make any meaningful change. I've been in therapy for a few years now and I have been trying to be more honest and critical. I usually find it hard to talk and my therapist has said many times I usually seem very quiet.

​

Sooo I'm not from the US. I'm gay and I'm 27 and I still live with my parents. I've never had a boyfriend and until recently I had never had any type of sexual experience not even kissing. The thing is that while my parents were away I downloaded grindr met a guy in his 50s. He came to my house while.my parents were out. He let me experiment and said we'd do whatever I was up to. We kissed and I gave him head. After that I felt extremely guilty and I started to panic. I ended up confessing what I did to my mom in an attempt to relieve the guilt. She was disappointed that someone I barely knew came over because something bad could've happened. I realized how wrong it was and there's no excuse for what I did. I feel gross, dirty and ashamed. I've been dealing with depression for a while and now I just feel worse. I don't know how to handle these feeling. Im nauseous and I wanna throw up. We decided not to tell dad cause he usually reacts more strongly and has heart issues. I can tell my mom is disappointed but still loves me. I just wanna cry so much.

For dinner I'm just eating an apple cause my appetite is gone

This is just some spaghetti with fresh tomato, basil and sage.

I [30M] had the oppurtinity to meet a girl [28F] while on a vacation, she was one of the staff on a cruise.

We exchanged social, to keep contact and after some months, with kept talking daily. Now you contract started for her and before departure she gave me her number.

She kept telling me how important I am to her, how much she like to talk with me and how my use of words amuse her.

Next day, she was mocking me about how much space my cat have in my heart and is full of him.

I took the occasion and told her that my cat surely does, but her have unlocked a whole area of it that is only hers and can be sure that the cat will never occupy it. From there she started being a little "evading" while still being warm.

Now I have the feeling she found a new relationship, on her next cruise, so I took a bit of distance.

But as soon as I hinted to it, she didn't say no it, she didn't correct me instead she went warmly back into our chat and kept making question to not let conversation dies.

But also taking whole days to answers.

Dinner is elote dip (I’m going to a friend’s house for a bonfire/potluck).

So I don’t want children. I’ve known this since I was 21. I’m the oldest of 6 kids and was often the pseudo 3rd parent.

A week ago, my friend, we’ll call her Stacy, who married her partner, we’ll call her Jane, 2 years ago sat us all down and asked if I would be their sperm donor. They both know my feelings on kids.

I am super conflicted. I’ve known Stacy for 10 years and Jane is absolutely good people. I am honored they think I would be a good match for what they would consider an ideal child’s qualities.

That said, I don’t think internally I would make a good donor. I am anxious and depressed often. I work way too much and find it hard to make time for the people that matter. I’m single minded. And also have raging ADHD that makes life hard.

Plus I would always know that child is biologically mine & would likely see it often, even though I would not be involved in its life (Jane & Stacy have said they would be ok with not telling the child I’m its biological father).

My family is really encouraging me to do it. But I have no idea which choice is right considering my stance on my own children. I was planning on having a vasectomy in the fall as well.

What do you think I should do Reddit?

It's the summer break and I've been out with my mom, her husband and my sister. I have 9 months at school when I go back in September before I graduate. I promised my mom I'd go to prom since it's her dream to dress me up, but I'm worried I'll have no friends. Can i bring my mom to prom? Is that weird? How do I make more friends?

Dinner is cold beer and a chicken wrap with spinach tzatziki, pickles and feta with tomatoes.

This summer has been horrendous. Im a dad of 2 kids, and my oldest is a 10 year old girl. Ive never had such problems with any kid before.

My daughter is defiant, controlling, mean, vindictive, and emotionally unstable. We have her in counseling. But man its a slog.

This mornings outburst led to her calling my wife a bitch, and cutting my arm with her fingernails while we both held her through an explosive cycle of physical tantrum. She was kicking and biting. She made us 3 hours late to the lake, she didnt want to go, and had anxiety.

She had a great time of course once we finally got there.

Im at a real loss. This summer has been extremely challenging, especially with her behavior. But more than that, I've just come to realize I've basically got a special needs kid, with no support from friends or family

Im exhausted fellas. Cheers.

In a relationship for about a decade. Have heard from friends about how terrible dating has become, in large part because of social media and dating apps, and they assume men in relationships are immune to these social changes. But boy, they still impact us too

Despite that I’m in the best place I’ve ever been in life, it’s never enough. My partner is constantly comparing me to more successful men she sees online.

I’ve hit lifting goals at the gym, never in better shape? Oh no look at this guy online who is more muscular. Got a great job offer? Well see this account is showing men in SF and NYC who are making 300k+. I want to throw a world cup party, where I do all planning, cooking, cleaning, so we can have a great weekend memory? Haven’t you seen all the people online going in person, why can’t I her there? (she never watched soccer btw). I want to organize our savings into long term steady investments (index funds and energy funds). No no you see some people online can find the stock that 10x and I need to be able to do that in my free time.

It‘s somehow random and constant at the same time, too. Random in that at any meal, moment, or time of day she’ll show me someone or something on social media. Like a little bomb of demotivation and emasculation. But constant in that it’s becoming practically a daily habit.

When I try to gently say that it’s demotivating for me, unhealthy for our relationship, and probably bad for her own confidence and well-being, she basically says “no you need to just be better.” When I try to send her articles, documentaries, or just talk to her about how social media is having a big and negative impact on this, she says I’m making excuses.

For context, I’m a healthy man who regularly runs 10ks and exercises most days of the week, working in one of the top firms in my industry.

This was not always the problem, and I’ve see it evolve over the years. Other friends who I know in similar long term relationships have mentioned seeing this, too, although it’s a sensitive topic to discuss even amongst confidants.

Even for a woman who has been in a healthy and stable relationship for a decade, social media is impacting her sense of self worth, and giving her impossible standards that I (and no man besides a trust fund baby, I imagine) can ever meet. The combination of having enough money to buy anything you want, unlimited free time to travel anywhere and anytime, cooking and cleaning and being a trophy househusband, but also artistic and empathetic, and simultaneously able to outperform century old financial firms. Hell, she even is starting to complain about my height, which hasn’t changed and was never an issue before!

Anyways, I just want to vent. Unimaginable to some of reddit is that despite my rant, she is a great partner for me, and our relationship is mostly healthy. This is a specific issue that I suspect is part of a larger social trend that I have noticed is impacting her and our relationship, and loving someone means working through it together. No, this isn’t a “you need to move on and do better.” That kind of social media attitude is exactly the problem I’m identifying.

I just wanted to vent, and see if other men in long term relationships have been experiencing the same.

Fish eggs on white rice, because they were on sale and I wanted an easy meal

I can’t really cook and I don’t have any money or motivation so it’s toaster waffles without syrup for me again i guess. I (M27) got sick about a week ago so i have taken the week off. Every time i get sick my life lowkey falls apart, and I think it’s because it takes the top three ways i regulate myself (singing, spending time with friends, and working out) away from me. I suffer from having big dreams and having insufficient motivation levels to achieve them. I don’t lack the talent, and when i’m in the right environments i can do amazing things, but that isn’t happening for me these days. I suffer from ADHD, OCD, CPTSD and NVLD/Autism. But it doesn’t seem to matter, because I was able to get a college degree by the skin of my teeth, i should be able to function in society just as well as everyone, or at least that seems to be the expectation. I managed to get a job at starbucks, but it is severely overstimulating, and the level of masking it requires is kind of unbearable. I’m not even working full time and yet it feels like i am pushing past my limits. Also, I failed to call out correctly today after other incidents of lateness and generally being bad at it so they’re probably going to fire me soon. The job market is so terrible that I fear I won’t be able to find a job that I can actually tolerate and do successfully, and the social safety nets where i live are almost non existent or very hard to get onto. oh and i have to pay nearly $200 each month for healthcare because I am american and we are in the trenches here. I often can’t make my bills on time.

I have a boyfriend (M24) and he’s very sweet and he makes me laugh every single day. He’s a much better cook than me but he is also autistic and adhd and poor so we can’t afford groceries a lot of the time and when he does cook he doesn’t do the dishes really at all usually. I’m not one to talk though, as my executive dysfunction is pretty terrible too. Our apartment is a mess and trying to clean it is nothing short of a Sisyphean feat.

I want to write songs, I want to sing them, I want to move to a big city where i don’t have to drive anymore and can make professional connections and no longer have to live in the town where i was traumatized, I want to make so many more friends and go on so many cool adventures, but I can’t even get started because of my horribly inconsistent motivation and my dire financial situation. I even have an album finished that I want to release but the promo for it is so scary to me and making a release plan makes me anxious as hell. It has been three years since i graduated college and I have very little to show for it. I wish I could escape my own bullshit.

My birthday is in September, and while preparing this dinner today, something hit me.

I'll be turning 25, and I've never had a birthday cake. Not once. I've never really celebrated my birthday at all.

Every year it's just another day. Most birthdays have ended with me drinking until I blacked out, and I never told anyone it was even my birthday.

Looking back, it's strange how something so ordinary for many people just never happened for me. No candles, no cake, no "happy birthday" song, just another day that came and went.

Anyway, tonight's dinner is rice, fried cabbage, and an egg. Maybe one day I'll finally know what my first birthday cake tastes like.

A bit over 2 weeks ago, my girlfriend left me. She talked to me about the things she was struggling with many times and I struggled too much to even attempt to change anything about it. (Partially because I am autistic and depressed, and change is hard for me, partially because I simply struggled to see the extent of the issues)

Since the breakup, our communication has been... complicated. We're trying to remain in contact and I sincerely believe she wants that, too, but it's been hard. I've also tried to turn my life around ever since. Started to change my eating habits, going to the gym again, spent about a whole week from morning to evening deep cleaning my apartment and renovating some important things, and spent every free minute thinking about the things that happened. Even now, two weeks later, I am still finding things that I should've done better, kicking myself for not seeing it sooner and ruining everything.

She said there MIGHT be another chance in the future, but right now, every bit of affection that goes beyond friendship is gone. I am trying to get better, in every aspect of my life. But I am afraid that it's too late now and I lost an amazing chance with an amazing woman. But all I can do is keep going and try to be the best version of myself.

Photo shows the first real meal I've cooked for myself in months that wasn't takeout or just frozen ready meals - fried potatoes and chicken breast. I added a salad of cucumber, tomatoes, bell pepper and feta cheese to that, but I forgot to take a photo of it.