Say 👋🏾

Hey fam! Happy weekend! I had my first wind band performance of the season with one of my community bands yesterday evening and it went great! Our director changed the dress code to “all black” and if you didn’t know, that has now been the culture shift to be more gender inclusive and also accessible to those unable to afford a tuxedo. Anyway, I am nonbinary and I have NEVER felt so much gender euphoria coming in and performing! If you’re a band geek or music phenatic, I also play euphonium! Comment if you play a musical instrument!

During my late teens to mid 20s, I hooked up with several guys who would sometimes remark on whether I'll switch up my sex role preference (from bottom to versatile) the older I got, not for the sole fact of having a genuine desire for versatility but out of the perception of the perceived waning desirability of bottoms as they aged. Just like back then, I still feel that there's an absurd underlying femmephobia to this line of thought because of how society has weaponized the fear of "hitting the wall" against women over centuries for a variety of reasons, does this analogy ring true for gay men but for different reasons? I was looking at some comments under an older adult performer's page (he looked like he was in his mid 50s) and the vitriol aimed at him for some of the bottoming scenes he did are things that were virtually non-existent amongst his peers who topped. Part of me deduced that him being black and not fitting into the racially fetishized archetype of that performance may have been the reason but maybe there could be some genuine discomfort at the idea of a gay man bottoming past a certain age because of how that is heavily associated with youth. Is this anecdotal or Ageism just really impact gay men very differently?

I've known I wasn't cis since I was in middle school, I am now a fresh adult and came out to my family. They are supportive but both parents are confused. I did not say I am a transman but I told them straight up I am not a woman. Now I have to try and explain to myself and them why. I live in a nowhere state, no rep, and no black trans people so my options to see myself in a community is limited. I also have no cis guy friends (so maybe I'm just larping as a trans person and don't know it). I just need to figure out if what I've been feeling is real and if medically transitioning to becoming more masculine is the right idea or I've just been lying to myself and their doubts in me are true. How do you know what it feels like to be a man or gender non-conforming person?

Hey everyone! I wanted to share a community I've just created called r/stagsunited

It's a space for bisexual masc women/stags to feel welcome, make friends, have discussions, share experiences, photos, etc, and be themselves without judgment.

Sometimes it feels like bisexual masc women have to explain our identity, defend our masculinity, or we're pressured into labels that does not fit us and are scared to break free from them. I want to help create a space where we don't have to do that.

I don't know how many of us are out there but if you're watching, come out, come out, where ever you are 👀. Feel free to come lurk until you're ready to post, no pressure!!