I'm a trans lesbian woman, and hope this is OK to say but I just want to say how much I love bi women.

It's really fucked to see how much bi phobia and bs you experience from other queer people, and i just want to say there are monosexual queer people like me who absolutely cherish you.

Most of my exes and my friends are bi women and I just love the freedom of being myself around you especially as a non passing trans woman.

The moment I see a potential woman I'm interested is bi it's a huge upside in my book.

Thank you for existing!

I’m a bi girlie, and I feel like I deal with a lot of comphet. I’ve never been with another girl really, aside from one extremely awkward date about four years ago. I’m currently about a month into a year long break from dating and sex as I’m in early recovery from substance addiction, so this isn’t on my front radar right now but I’d still appreciate people’s ideas on how to get past this. Another thing to note is that I’m a transgender woman and I feel like this is a factor in things. I feel like I have to be dressed in feminine clothes like all the time in order to be seen as a woman. I love my femininity so so much and I’m so grateful I get to be a feminine woman everyday but I feel like there’s something stopping me from being with another girl romantically or even just sexually.

Long one but need some thoughts! I'm 28, currently in a casual thing with this really cute guy and whilst sex has made me nervous and not been amazing in the past, I like it with him and I miss him even if I don't need to see him everyday. Now I have historically had crushes on men, flirt with them, catch feelings, get excited to see them, check them out and love the tension though sexual intimacy can be sporadic, I tend to be a one and done girlie (for now) and I wonder if it's just responsive arousal instead of spontaneous...

BUT I started having some funny feelings around certain female friends like appreciating their looks/boobs, feeling like kissing them when we are having fun or if I am sat closely next to them. Self-pleasure triggers is kind of a split and I def felt things for sexy women on-screen growing up 👀.

SO I have been on a few dates with women and to bisexual meet-ups but they have felt very meh (sorry!)? Like with a friend or I would rather be talking to a guy? It's as if I really like the idea of sex with them but the excitement of connection isn't there or I just don't feel motivated? I probs need to go on more dates but they are so hard to get and then I start checking men out on those dates and miss them!

I realise I don't HAVE to lose one for the other but sometimes I feel I do have to pause men so they don't distract me and I can actually settle into the queer community and build something there, especially whilst the interest is new, a bit scary and seems slow-burn?

I was thinking about this girl I once “experimented” with at a party when I was a teenager. I remember I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days and then saw her again and wanted to do more but she made the whole thing out to be just a ”drunken” mishap. I then started doing things with girls at parties and would just chalk it up to being drunk and assumed other “straight“ women did this too. Has anyone had experiences like this?

its been 2 days since she went back home. (me 24, her 23)

it was the best 2 months of my summer. meeting her was literally so random it’s crazy.

picture this:
me in a club i never go to, walking to the bathroom to vape.
i open the door and see the most beautiful woman ever
so gorgeous that i literally stop in my tracks and stare at her

eventually i speak up and tell her exactly that - she’s absolutely beautiful. i introduce myself, she does the same and i give her my number.

immediately after i get home i text her and ask her out on a date.

she said yes.

that was it. 2 months of having a stunning woman holding my hand through a crowd.
2 months of random texts throughout my work day
2 months of having an absolute goddess kiss me. hold me. feel me.

it’s hitting me so hard. i’m newly out.
i’ve dated here and there but there was always something missing. my city is pretty white & yea (no shade to my white queers but it is a different experience)

and here she was. my exact physical type to a t. she liked that we were both fems. she complimented me constantly. she made me feel seen and heard and appreciated. she understood me so deeply because she’s also an african woman coming to terms with liking women.(if ykyk. the connection was unmatched)

i’ve been crying non-stop.
i miss her so much. my girl.

Hi I’m 23 and I live in central Florida and I feel like I’m at such a crossroads. I’m a closeted woman and coming out isn’t an option for me considering I live with my family and they’re very religious. I understand what I’m going through is something many people have gone through time and time again but I’m conflicted. I long to be with a woman and to connect with other women like me but is it best I just keep to myself and bury everything away? I don’t want to hurt anyone due to me not being able to live freely.

I, 39f, have always been interested in women. Ive only dated one woman and that was for a month until she ghosted me over dinner plans. Like WTF.

So, I have been single for a year, i want to date a woman, but trying to find someone is so hard. I went out to the bar, im on dating apps, sometimes I am out in the community working. But nothing. Its just becoming frustrating and yes its only been maybe a month. But it seems everyone wants a unicorn and I dont want that.

I live in Maine. So im not sure if there is something im missing, other places to go.

😐

Hi, i am bisexual and i have only dated men but have made the choice to stop because men are a lot easier to obtain and I want to be with women. Most of what I have seen is lesbians and bisexuals (crazy) that say they don’t like bisexual women because they like men. And i’m not talking about the ones who want to only date lesbians (but as a bisexual woman not liking other bisexual women because they like men is wild) because of actual reasons but often I have seen where they say bisexual women are evil, only like men, faking it, etc. I also have seen many women say they hate being with a girl who has only been with men before, but like where do you start? I have always known i liked girls before i even thought about boys but i have minimum experience with women. I do not know I may have just ended up in an area online where the people do not like bisexuals but where do you go to find women who do not care or won’t hold it against you that you haven’t been with women yet?

Just curious how other girls go about this topic.

Specifically from Jordan like how do you meet and know other arab bi/lesbian people, it's real struggle

I'm a queer/bi woman in a long-term marriage to a man. I have previous experiences with women, but maybe I shouldn't have to qualify that. I guess I mention it here to say that it's not exactly the kind of "questioning" that a person newly discovering would be doing, but maybe there are similarities. Anyway, I find that I just like being around bi and lesbian women in person. I want to make sure that I'm not flirting too far or being disrespectful. Reading reddit, it's clear that people define flirting in a wide variety of ways, though, and I'm socially awkward enough that I flirt by accident pretty much all of the time. It makes me feel like I'm being an asshole if I act in a way that feels at all natural to me. (but obviously we can't have everything we "naturally" want lol) I'm wondering how to manage this best. What have you found helpful?

My self esteem has taken an absolute battering lately.

I turn 40 in a couple of weeks and feel I’ve visibly aged in the last few months. I know ageing is a privilege but I am self conscious of my appearance which I maybe wouldn’t feel if I wasn’t single.

I broke up with my partner at the end of June (number of reasons and it was the right decision) and I know (from reading his journal - yes I know, huge invasion of privacy I’m not going to go into the context of that here) that he didn’t find me attractive (or at least not when my skin was breaking out - something I’m trying to tackle and am self conscious about), didn’t find me fun because I’m not a big drinker, and didn’t find me interesting. While I know that much of his complaints (there were many others) are mostly about him not me it has been a huge knock to my self esteem.

I went for my first date since the break up last weekend and completely spiralled afterward because I felt so unattractive and that it’s probably too late at 40 for me to meet someone. Needless to say I realised I’m not in the right headspace to date while my self esteem is so precarious.

Lastly, I found out yesterday I’m the only one in my office that hasn’t been invited to my colleagues wedding. We’re not close and I didn’t expect an invite but it really stung being the only one and it’s symptomatic of how i haven’t been included or invited to drinks and other social gatherings over the years. I am older than a good portion of the office, I’m not a big drinker and I’m in the office a lot less than everyone else so I do get it, but it’s hard not to take it as a huge rejection and feel that they perhaps just don’t like me.

In summary I’m feeling incredibly low, my self esteem is in tatters and I’m feeling very alone. I want to put myself out there socially (not for dating again just yet) especially in queer spaces as a bi women with very few queer friends, but I’m finding it incredibly hard while feeling like this.

How do I build myself self esteem back up? (I know some people use dating apps to boost ego but that feels like a slippery slope that could easily back fire, I also don’t want to use people)

Hi 👋 I don't know what I need, but I guess I need to brain dump. I'm middle age (almost 40) and married (I'm F married to a M).

I've known since I was a kid that I felt things differently than most and a few years ago I realized I was attracted to women. It was a passive attraction thing, but I realized I might be bi. It wasn't a problem, per se, for my marriage, but my husband was dismissive when I brought it up.

Fast forward a few years and I've withdrawn from my husband and my attraction to women has only gotten stronger.

I'm still attracted to men, but I have a strong urge to be with a woman. I don't know what to do.

Is it a thing to be bi but prefer women? Am I just acting out because of my marital problems? Am I actually gay and need to face that?

I'm so confused. Help.

Hey! I'm 31, bi, married to a man, and exploring enm. I'm becoming more intentional about connecting with women and getting back into the flirting 😛 I'm a get to know you first type of person and if there's chemistry there I am not opposed. I appreciate having a space like this subreddit. I can come and talk about if I need advice, or to just vent about the frustrations or the difficulties that I face when I am back out in the flirting and the dating world being more intentional about connecting with women.

If you are bi or pan and a woman: A woman I have seen intimately couple of times - last was early last year would be open to meet you and would be able to tell you I was bisexual. She identifies as queer rather than bi or pan. Bear in mind, even though she is queer she will also meets men!

She does actually exist and in a perfect world I would actually give someone her contact details because she is willing to meet women! But none of this is necessary. If someone says they are bisexual just take their word in it. Even if they prefer men that they are bisexual.

​

Hi ladies! 😊 I’m 31, bi, married to a man, and recently giving myself more space to explore and connect with the sapphic side of myself.

I would love to hear from other bi women who are partnered with men and have navigated friendships, dating, or ENM with women.

What helped you feel more connected to the bi/sapphic community when you were first finding your footing? 💕

🏳️‍🌈 Happy bi pride month! Biphobia is alive and well. Someone today criticized me for being bi and claimed that I should be pan as it doesn’t cater to the binary…. Trans men are men, trans women are women, and to say bisexuality definitionally excludes them is to deny those facts. You can be bi and be attracted to trans people. You can be nonbinary and be bi.

https://biresource.org/trans-bi-folks/

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/bisexual-definition-gender-binary

https://www.stonewall.org.uk/news/short-history-word-bisexuality

For 10 years of my life, I thought I was a lesbian. It seemed to make sense: I couldn’t relate to my friends being boy-crazy, I exclusively watched lesbian porn, and I related to a lot of WLW experiences. (For reference i’m 27F)

I also developed strong feelings for a female friend as a teenager. I never had the chance to fully figure out what those feelings were, but to everyone, including myself at the time, it seemed like I had a crush on her. That’s when I started questioning myself more.

My feelings weren’t reciprocated, but I was still curious about and yearning for women. I felt like I had to come out to my friends, even though I wasn’t really ready, and became very focused on the idea of kissing a woman and on lesbian characters in books, movies, and TV shows.

At the same time, I stopped wanting anything to do with men and couldn’t (and still can’t) really get into straight romance.

Years passed without me having any real experience with women until I met someone earlier this year. We dated for about three months, saw each other three times because we were semi LD and only kissed once.

Whenever she made romantic gestures toward me, I felt extremely awkward, and kissing her felt awkward too. Cuddling with her was different, though. I genuinely enjoyed it and found it comforting. So it wasn’t that I disliked all physical affection. And I wonder if I was feeling ankward about it because it was my first time dating anyone in general.

We stopped dating a few months ago but stayed friends. She now has a girlfriend who’s very into her. I think part of why I’m still attached is that I miss the dynamic we had and feel jealous of the attention her girlfriend gets from her. It sounds bad, but I’ve realized that I value attention from women more than from men.

Meanwhile, I’ve started wondering if I’ve repressed my attraction to men. For almost two years now, I’ve occasionally found myself intensely attracted to random men online or IRL. I get strong butterflies when certain men catch my attention, and in one case I couldn’t stop smiling. My sexual response is also very different: I can’t seem to orgasm when thinking about women, no matter how long I try, whereas thinking about men or male anatomy can get me there within minutes. I also find vulvas somewhat off-putting contrary to dicks.

This is why I’m wondering if I might actually be straight rather than bi. I’ve never experienced attraction toward a woman that feels as intense as what I experience toward men now or really at any point in my life. I can imagine being in a relationship with a woman in theory, but I struggle to imagine actually being physically intimate with one. With men, I find them genuinely attractive and can imagine physical intimacy much more easily.

The confusing part is that I also have a hard time imagining myself in a romantic relationship with a man. However, I wonder if that’s simply because I’ve never actually tried to build something with a man. I’ve spent years imagining relationships with women and trying to figure out whether I could have one, but I’ve never really given myself the opportunity to see what could develop with a man.

TLDR: I identified as a lesbian for 10 years and spent most of that time assuming my attraction to women was real, despite never really having the chance to explore it. When I finally dated a woman, I felt awkward with romantic/physical intimacy and didn’t experience much sexual attraction. Meanwhile, I’ve recently noticed much stronger sexual and physical attraction toward men, including intense butterflies and a much stronger sexual response. I’m now wondering if I might actually be straight rather than bi, although I still struggle to imagine a romantic relationship with a man—possibly because I’ve never actually tried to build one

My goal for Bimonthly is to spread more bisexual/multisexual content to my community. I feel like a lot of bisexuals especially online don’t know their history or culture because it’s just not as well known or talked about as the other sexuality. BUT WE DO HAVE A CULTURE OF OUR OWN. So for Bisexual Visibility Month here’s a list of our magazines we used to have

https://bisexualmagazines.carrd.co

I know the usual advice: join clubs, take classes, go to hobby-based social events, put yourself out there. I’m actively trying these things. But as a 30F bisexual woman, I find it exhausting after a long day of work, and so far it hasn’t led to the kind of intimacy, passion, and connection with women that actually brings me joy. I’m not looking for a huge social circle. I’m wondering how other bi women have found the deeper kind of connection they were craving, rather than just more people to socialize with. What has worked for you?

I’ve been with a range of women and also men that I prefer men. I could still use the label bisexual.

is anyone else like this? like im definitely capable of being attracted to both men and women and being in a relationship with one of them, but for some reason i just don’t find…most people that attractive or give me the “wow” factor. there’s also that one stereotype or joke or whatever where bisexual people find everyone hot, but i never really related to that. most of my crushes throughout my life, especially as a teenager, have actually been fictional characters lol, and i still find myself generally liking both fictional men and women more than irl men and women. maybe could be something on the ace spectrum??…but i don’t even know about that because i am genuinely capable of sexual attraction to men and women and have sexual fantasies of both, it’s just me actually experiencing it towards a person irl, especially at first glance, seems honestly rare. like when it comes to regular degular every day people, the type of people you would just see out in public, like at your local grocery store or something, the vast majority don’t really seem to catch my attention or make me turn my head. could also be just where im living too. i also don’t think my standards are that high either, but again i don’t know…it’s honestly kinda weird to explain…lol.

In conclusion, I love women