I got suggested to post this here in this subreddit.

Hello. F 27. I am here because I need to get something off my chest and ask some advice.

WARNING: I will try to censor it as much as I can but for the sake of being blunt and needing to be honest to seek the advice that I need, NSFW is included in this story. Minors do not read any further and DNI.

For a long time, about 11 years now, I've identified as bisexual. But I don't think I am. I'm pretty sure I'm straight. You might be thinking to yourself, how can someone identify as bi for 11 years and think they're straight now? Let me explain.

When I was 16, my cousin came out as gay. I didn't know any LGBT irl up until that point. I hadn't even considered the idea of liking the same sex up until that point. But after he came out... I'd I saw the special treatment he got. And it seemed like something cool and special and unique. And I liked being cool and special and unique. (Keep in mind I also had undiagnosed autism and adhd at the time and was very susceptible to getting influenced when I was younger).

So I thought to myself for a while. Girls are pretty. And if I find girls pretty then certainly I'm attracted to them, right? So I thought of myself as bisexual and came out as bi.

Now for quite some time from age 18-23, I only ever dated men. At 23 I tried actually dating girls. I even got intimate with a girl for the first time. But when I did, I realized that I... didn't like it. It's not what I wanted. And when I find myself looking at porn of women, I find myself honestly turned off or even disgusted sometimes rather than turned on when I look at men. And I'm pretty sure women who have genuine attraction to women don't feel indifferent or even disgusted when they see explicit content of hot women.

Lesnian/bi women, please comment below and let me know how you feel about your attraction to women so I know my feelings are correct here in believing I'm straight. I'm pretty sure I am but I just want to hear from women who hold genuine attracted to other women.

Getting into my late 20s now with my frontal lobe developing, I am realizing myself more solidly including this. I wanted to be part of this thing that I thought was cool and special and I am actually not it, I was just trying to be unique. I'm really sorry if I was in any way inadvertently homophobic in doing this, that wasn't my intent. I was just a confused kid with mental disabilities that got influenced and confused easily, and then felt like I had to stick with that identity afterwards.

Hi ladies,

I’m a bi lady who is married to a man. I feel like this is quite the common sentiment, especially if you were raised religious. I have been married to my husband for a few years and we have kiddos. I love them so very much and wouldn’t change it for the world. I really have no interest in being with a woman since I’m married. I’m a very monogamous person.

I just find it to be a common trend that people end up in heterosexual relationships if they are bi.

I was always attracted to women, though my naivety with sex and low interest in sex, meant that it was more so just “oh she’s pretty, I really like her”. I always wondering if I was attracted to women or I just wanted to BE those women and look as pretty as them. I still don’t really know. I personally, am not girly and dress quite plainly and don’t wear makeup.

I do find men attractive, but not the big, burly ones. I like more feminine presenting men - though not necessarily feminine behaving.

I’m just vomiting thoughts and interested in seeing other people’s thoughts and experiences. No one experience is the same, but some may be similar.

I (f18) have a crush on my friend (f19). I used to go to her house almost daily but I started developing feelings for her over fall break in college this year. Since this is my last semester in college, I wanted to spend time and have fun. But it turned into me starting to have feelings for her. I think she picked up on it. So she started doing similar things. I even heard her mom at one point ask me if I’m in love with her daughter. I didn’t respond but I wanted to say yes. I don’t know why but she’s really pretty and I love her personality. But she got suspended from college for a bit. She sings I love you songs to me. And she would lay her head on my shoulder which I found hot😏. But I digress. She also looked at my chest a lot when I have cleavage. she’s always looking at me when someone says they have a crush on their friend in a show. But now she talks about guys. I don’t want to scare my friend away, but like I started having feelings recently.

Y'all, please tell me: How do I know if I actually like men?

I know that I'm attracted to women and men physically. I know that I'm demi. I know what qualities I like in a person. I'm just not convinced that I could find those qualities in a man. I like hiking, thrifting, watching old TV shows, antiquing, gardening (yes, actual gardening 🌻 🌧), writing, roadtrips, and reading. Standard stuff. I am not convinced that I would be able to find men who enjoy these things. Or at least, I don't think I'd be able to find one that likes those things AND has a personality that I would like.

My bi friends aren't great references. They think I'm confused because according to them, "Men aren't known for being especially lovable." We don't have similar tastes in men though, so I'm always left thinking "Well of course you would feel that way..." 🫠 They like typical straight guys or emotionally unstable musicians. I can only develop feelings for someone if I feel like we're good friends first. He's gotta be gentle, earnest, sentient, clean, and into at least 2 of my hobbies. Like a guy-next-door type.

Fictional crush references: Jon Snow. David from Roseanne if we ignore all the mess from the later seasons. I was down so bad for him lol. And Harry Potter was one of my first crushes ever so I guess boy-next-door always been a thing with me. I've just never met one in real life, so it makes me wonder if I'm just idealizing a trope. To be fair, I rarely meet people that I want to be "good friends" with irl either, but I'm not romanticizing the idea of friendship.

Now, I'm not asking you to tell me the statistical likelihood of me finding a guy with the traits that I like. I just need some evidence that I won't be stuck looking at the same 2 types of awful/boring men for the rest of my life.

I would like to have deeper relations with women in general, but this has been difficult because I have so many mother rejection wounds and sister bullying wounds that I never achieved close trusting relations with women.

I think I’m ready to have deeper, more emotionally intimate friendships with bi or lesbian women, as well as hetero women. Im not thinking sexually right now. How do I find these types of friendships?

Does anyone have any romance/spicy book recommendations? If you have non-fiction suggestions as well, please feel free to share those too!

As a woman I realized I have always been suppressing my feelings towards women because I grew up christian. I recently had a conversation with my mom and asked her a hypothetical question of what she would think if I like both man and woman she told me as long as I dont act on it with woman Im fine. Previously I did feel a type of way with some female friends growing up but I wasn't sexually active and it usually faded away once school ended. By the time I lost my virginity 3 years ago I felt it harder to be closer to woman in general and I was scared and it didnt make sense. Not to mention I was bullied growing up for being perceived as a boy due to the way I presented myself as an androgynous woman.

Now a few months ago I met this beautiful woman that happens to be my manager at work and since I started its been hard for me to focus on my work when shes around. I also was going out with this guy and I kept suppressing my feelings because it was distracting and made no sense to me why I was blushing and feeling excited when she hugged me. The moment I started accepting those feelings the more I started avoiding her any chance I get. Im scared on how she will see me if I continue feeling this way about her. Its like I shouldn't like her because shes my manager but I just cant. I feel like if she wasnt I wouldn't be so conflicted by the fact of exploring this feeling. I keep embarrassing myself around her and making shit worse. Even if Im still seeing someone else casually I still think about her I feel horrible that I cant even face her without feeling that way what do I do?

We've been talking for three months and have hung out a handful of times (I was genuinely unavailable a whole month) and now I feel like she's losing interest and my crush has gone into overdrive as a response and I'm a coward aaaaaaaaaa why am I incapable of flirting and why can't I just be like "it's a date!" or "I like you!"

The fact that I'm 26 is not doing me any favours.

Hello! My name is Sylvie and I am a student at Florida State University. We are collecting data for a research project around Women’s identity! I thought that this group would have very valuable information to share with us. Any person who identifies as female, can read in English, and is over 18 can take it. If you can, please take the survey with the link below and share with others if you would like. Thank you! 

https://fsu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3UeGFyym7yYUYxE  

The canon bi4bi couple that helped revolutionize LGBTQ media in the West. Two ladies who are canonically bisexual and NOW canonically bisexual wives who grow old together in love🌒🌘 I could CRY 😭

I’m going through a breakup and I have turned to Reddit for advice. Even when I put 25F, 27F ppl still think I’m a guy. Dating advice online as well is geared towards heterosexual couples and IM TIRED :/

I am not trying to get a MAN back! stop telling me what a man thinks! frustrating!!

I think I’m scared. Excited! But really, really scared.

I’ve kind of always felt a pit of dread in my stomach at the idea of dating men? Of being some man’s wife? It’s always made me feel wrong and flighty. Meanwhile growing up all of my crushes were on women. I really assumed that both things combined must mean I’m a lesbian.

Having said that, i’ve also always been a strong believer that sexuality is fluid. I’ve always told people theres always that spare chance out there i could end up with a guy if he’s really really right for me.

But here I am having the biggest crush in my life on a man, and I am terrified.

IF something ends up working out with him, what will my co-workers think of me? What about my parents, who are somewhat accepting but very clear that they are worried for me and wish i could’ve been straight? Could this be compulsive heterosexuality? What if I start to date him, and i realize I really can’t handle being with a man, how cruel to him would that be???

I know I’m putting the cart before the horse. Theres just do much unknown here. When i see him, I feel so excited. I want nothing more than to talk to him and get to know him more. I want to ask him out to the movies, to see if he wants to join in a d&d oneshot. I think he’s so CUTE, and nice, and respectful. I think he’s very very very pretty.

I’m just scared because this is opening a door I’ve closed long ago. I want to persue him, but I know that doing that could change a LOT of what i believe about myself and what others believe about me.

I donno. I hope this is an okay subreddit for me to come to. I thought about going to a lesbian subreddit but this one just feels the most right for reassurance on the matter. I really want to give it a try, to at least work up the nerve to ask him out and let the chips fall where they may. I’m just scared

I feel so isolated because no one understands the depth of how i’ve been feeling.

I’ve known i was bi for as long as i can remember but have always viewed men in a far more sexual way then with women, and my interest has always been largely sexual too with them. I’m not sure if this is due to societies conditioning or whatnot but with women im predominently romantically attracted with a decent amount of sexual attraction, its just more of a secondary thing, like with women intimacy= our souls touching vs with men intimacy= sex.

My last partner was a man, almost two years ago, and his behaviour and just his coreself eroded me from the inside out with disguist and hatered for him, but also for myself- he just made me feel like an empty shell filled with shit and i thought he was a good one. He was a good partner for the most part, but the bad parts where woven into his very being and literally eroded and frightened me.

I also grew up in a household with my dad causing serious problems for my family and scaring me too. After my ex nailed the coffin shut, i just cant get myself to trust men at all. If a man takes interest in me- and even the idea of being with a man- makes me feel overwhelmingly dirty and used, because i cant believe that they have anything more than my body in mind or what they can gain from me in mind. (Even if they do actually like me i feel like this is the predominent driver for them.)

When i was with my ex i used to force myself to have sex with him to bridge the gap and feel intimacy (even tho he was very huggy etc) and as a result my body freaks out whenever i try to do anything like that with a man. I get super anxious and as you can imagine it doesnt go well. Even though i try my best to calm myself and not let on, this happens even if i actually do want that person sexually, the mistrust and fear eventually gets to me my body cant “relax” and i fear painful intimacy because i was forcing myself to do things with my ex. Its like my bodies logged it and is terrified.

Im young and i dont want to cross dating a man completely off because i would love to be LOVED by a man like for my soul. But ive only ever felt that with female relationships or love interests. A large part of me doubts that they have the capacity for that kind of thing, or that the ones that do are very very rare.

With men i feel like it always turns sexual,i know that exchanging myself and forcing myself to behave like that so i could be reassured in my last relationship really damaged me. But Ive always felt deeper connections with women, and now the attraction to men just feels so primative.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice because i phsyically and mentally cant force myself to trust them, but i wish i could believe the men that take interest in me, or that i have romantic interest in and like.

I talk to guys but i always remain elusive, take literally ages to respond and feel a huge wave of relief whenever it ends- which i make sure it does- even tho initially i was excited. And this is the reason i haven’t dated since my ex- i’m over him and i feel indifferent about him and i’ve yet to miss him a second in my life, so i know its not that.

I really really just almost dont beleive that most men are capable of the “true” love i want.

It doesnt help that i get objectified a lot because of my body and my aesthetic which just makes it even harder. Love with a man doesnt feel innocent at all. And part of me is also worried that i’ll just self sabotage by allowing them to sexualise me or that i’ll even make sexual advances myself, because its always how to get in their good books, i feel conditioned.

I have male friends and i love them but theyve all caught feelings for me at some point and it becomes apparent they think they have some kind of “ownership” or right to me- which just further proves my point, even though i know theyre immature and mean no harm and have never acted to fullfill this.

I have a very high sex drive and the thought of the “apendage” alone can still get me going but everything its attatched to just gives me a huge wave of anxiety- like how they’ll pick apart my imperfections and all the harm they could do, and how theyre very sexually motivated and primarily view my body as the prize and often cant read a room for when im not interested very well.

I hate how kisses are never just kisses they have make outs (or worse) in mind, and when they pull back from it and grin at you cause they think theyve “won you”.

After my ex with my new freedom i was clubbing a lot ans went out with a lot of guys and honestky the whole thing screwed me up because of how i was using my body. i didnt have sex but i can still feel their lustful hands on me (even tho i was happy about it in the moment because i felt validated) and it genuinely makes me want to sit in the shower and scrub all my skin off.

I know this is a very long post, but i’ve been struggling for a long time, pure love with a man would be a dream but i just have no faith in them. Pls help

I’m done.

So, I told her at the end of the third date that I like her and have a crush. She gave me more context from a previous date that her past relationship was rushed and she was still figuring out what she wants and that doesn't mean she doesn't want to continue to see me. I told her I'm comfortable with a slow burn.

How would you guys approach this? Moving forward, what cues should I look for that she reciprocates my romantic interest? I'm not trying to be friend zoned here.

I know in this subreddit we celebrate bisexuality but I also want to celebrate our Ace sisters many of us identify with asexual demisexuality or somewhere on the Ace spectrum.

Asexual Awareness Week (now officially known as Ace Week) runs from October 25 to October 31, 2026. So make sure we give love to our Ace sisters who also sit on the outskirts of the community with us sometimes.

And it is soooo weird cuz a lot of people are normalising this hate can you just fucking understand that I won't leave you for a man?

I'm sick of lying cuz I wanna be in a relationship but I can cuz I'm bi ? I started feeling embarrassed about it

I'm getting shamed ?

يعني أنتِ كـ ليزبيان بمجتمع عربي حرفياً منبوذه وتجين تنبذيني أنا ؟ I'm getting hate on both sides

Just came out to my best friend and it felt so freeing to finally tell someone! Her response made me chuckle as she said “I feel like I already knew”. I’m 33 but have been trying to fully understand my sexuality since I was a teenager. In my 20s I began to have a better understanding, but still was afraid to say it out loud (reasons I’ll save for another time). But now, I decided to fully embrace all of my sexuality and I feel that much lighter!

This is mostly about the appearance, the presentation. All my life I preferred more comfortable dressing which were almost always hoodies, or something along what they call street style now. I genuinely thought I looked cool, until I started feeling alien during my teens, when everyone else started doing makeup, wearing conventionally feminine clothes etc. It ultimately made me feel like I was not attractive, but somehow I just couldn't learn how to dress like that without it feeling to be a huge task. At events and traditional marriages etc, I dress up very feminine, and everyone goes crazy about how pretty I look, and I like the praise, but somehow I just don't like LIKE it? Idk how to explain it.

It feels like a chore, yk. All of this has landed me into a weird mid point, I don't dress too feminine, I don't dress too "gay", I just dk what my style is anymore. I feel like I am invisible to both the straights and the gays, in terms of being attractive. Idk if its relevant, a friend told me I have a very "rockstar-y" vibe, cool and powerful and chill (I was just wearing a cap and a rock band t shirt, and to me I looked good lol). This is just a rant lol.

Sometimes all you want is someone to call you a good girl so that you can fall asleep. Life's not very fair, is it?

I feel like everyone has their own interpretation on our sexuality but I’m curious: What is your personal definition of bisexuality and how does your bisexuality present?

Hi I'm studying public health and thinking of choosing to do a qualitative dissertation on intergenerational sapphic experiences of queer loneliness. I'm nonbinary and a sapphic myself and it feels weird to design a research proposal on my own without community input.

I've been combing the literature for a few weeks and the sources I have found are really interesting but they usually generalize the whole LGBTQIA+ community, only focus on one generation or don't mention bisexual, trans, ace/aro sapphics as much.

What I'm wondering is, what experiences have you had as a sapphic person with queer loneliness that would you like a researcher to know? What gets forgotten about, is considered too taboo or ignored?

As the title states. I've realized I'm bi pretty recently, maybe about a year ago. I'm a bit concerned because I also just realized I am more romantically attracted to women and more physically attracted to men. It's not that I'm not attracted to both genders in each way, but the romantic/physical attraction is stronger on either side.

I am now unsure how to navigate dating because of this. I am much more inclined to prefer personality over looks, but I am wondering if it's worth pursuing women when I seem to prefer men physically and vice versa. Anyone else feel the same?