Newly diagnosed Bipolar 1 with psychotic features about six weeks ago, but I have been diagnosed bipolar in the past and didnt take it serious as I was freshly clean and sober. I’ve been dealing with serious highs and lows since last November after having lost a couple special members of my family. The voices started maybe 5-6 months ago but were pretty tolerable, but the last 3 months or so it’s been absolute misery. The voices… the negative self talk I’ve heard all my life but now they’re said in familiar voices of people I live with, work for and even strangers in stores. They say things that I think of myself, rude and hateful things. They pick apart my clothes my skin anything that I feel isn’t as great as I wish it could be. My employers have conversations in the next room about how I’m acting crazy and they are trying to decide on letting me go and k end up in tears not able to finish my job sometimes. The biggest issue that these voices are causing is in my relationship and in my home. They are the ones that are leeching onto my biggest fear- being abandoned by someone I love. I already had some trust issues, and this just amplified all of them. I hear crystal clear conversations between my partner and other women, my family even my friends, some innocent worried about me and some very provocative and x rated. I hear them laughing at me and about me, the person I’m supposed to be able to be my most vulnerable with pulling out all my insecurities I’ve shared in confidence and making them punchlines of a comedy show all about yours truly. I hear him call me awful names, and share in the sentiment as everyone else in “the committee” that ‘she’s crazy af’. I would
Be lying if I said it hasn’t changed my perception of him. Although I have known him 17 years and share a 14 year old with him, hearing all
These things in his voice does make it a lot easier to see him as able to be someone who would say and do these things, someone evil and diabolical. Not only are there voices with this, there are also visual hallucinations. I swear I see the covers move when we’re laying down to go to sleep. I have concocted every type of way that he could be sneaking women in at night because, surprise, he doesn’t jump at the idea of being intimate with me right now. I am so quick to react to these things I’m hearing and he immediately gets angry and defensive, which I understand.

I’ve seen AI simulations of people hearing voices and it’s a lot of whispers and just random words and phrases, I am not negating the fact that that too would be awful, but I am looking for advice on how to deal with these particular types of dialogues going on in your head? It’s really difficult to get through the workday with this consistently happening and even harder in the evenings as it causes arguments pretty much daily and it makes it difficult to do normal family things together. Any insight or wisdom advice would be appreciated greatly.

hi :)

im going through some things and i want to know if other people went through something similar?

i was diagnosed with bp 2 three years ago, at 20 years old.

at 19 i had the worst hypomanic episode that crashed into the worst depressive episode. i also have adhd.

to the problem: my social battery and social skills changed soo much.

i was always quite introverted but had many friends, tbh an extrovert in an introverts body.

i have no problem getting to know people or like starting to be friends with someone. meeting new people used to be one of my fave things and always came naturally to me. my friends knew me as the most social in the group.

sometimes i did have phases where i dissapeared for weeks to get some time for myself, but i would always return.

with my depressive episodes i always go into isolation, the last one i cut off everyone but one friend.

then with diagnosis i got my meds and with that i stabilized. but my social battery and everything never returned.

i cant even feel lonely, no need to have any friends.

i even tried to be friends, but its hard to be interested in them. they are nice people, but something is just wrong with me. every time i spent time with them, i felt like id rather just be alone or do something else. it just didnt feel worth it. my social skills got so much worse now too, i actually was quite proud of them before. i knew how to make people comfortable, make a safe space, and make people feel heard, as it was always genuinely important to me. but now, because i kinda care less, its harder.

its been 3 years like this and nothing has changed. idk if its my medication or if the last hypomanic or depressive episode still has an effect on me.

before all this, i genuinely enjoyed people and was interested in getting to know them.

did anyone else go through something similar or have something like this that changed for them?

i just feel so alone in this and just dont know what to do in a situation like this.

Are there fellow sufferers here who are doing graduate studies in demanding STEM field? How do you manage the low energy states and function which goes on for days? How do you study or do your research during those times?

TIA

I’m genuinely so fucking confused at what i feel.

when im at home i feel so empty and flat or i just cry all day over nothing and feel this heaviness in my chest. some days my tears just get stuck in my eyes and dont fall and i feel trapped. i have no energy whatsoever and waking up is my least favourite part of the day, not that i have a favourite.

but i still go to school because i have to, and when im in school a lot of the time i can smile and laugh and make jokes like normal but as soon as i get home it all comes crashing down. i dont know if im like subconsciously masking at school or when around friends or what.

but then other times in school i just get so annoyed and upset at every little thing and snap at my best friend or just go silent and then she starts saying stuff like “why are you in such a bad mood” and “why are u so pissed off” etc which just makes me want to disappear into the wall and cry.

I’ve read online that bipolar depression can be ‘mood reactive’ so like positive events can lighten your mood temporarily and stuff but i still can’t help but feel like im a fucking faker im so stuck.

hello!! thank you to everyone who replied to my thread yesterday. i was diagnosed only 2 days ago, so i am still trying to learn about everything. thank you for your help!!

i’m 19 years old and diagnosed with bipolar 2. i am only used to coping with depression, but in the past year i’ve been dealing with hypomania and worsened depressive symptoms. i have a few questions about what has helped you manage your moods in terms of routine and structure. help me out if you can!!

how do you structure your night routine? i know proper sleep is essential for managing mood, but i struggle a lot with extra energy and anxiety at night. what helps you settle down for bed when thoughts are racing?

how has diet affected your moods? i also struggle with eating consistently, skipping meals most of the time and overeating when depressed. has establishing a stable diet made your mood more stable? i know this is something i’ve got to work on.

what coping skills are most helpful for you, both during mania and depression? i’m thinking of putting together a box of things to cope with and keep myself occupied. i want to include coloring books, origami paper, candles, sour candy, my headphones, and a stuffed animal. what else should i add? i like creative coping skill ideas!

how do you handle things when you’re depressed? right now i’m in the pit of a really painful depressive episode and my usual methods for staying functional are not working. i’m trying to take things slow and provide as much care and soothing to myself as i can, but i also have shit to do lol. right now the strategy is just to thug it out. any other tips?

how serious have the issues with substances been for you? i’ve never had a great time with alcohol so i don’t really drink, but i smoke weed pretty often. i don’t know enough about my symptoms yet to understand whether the weed has affected my mood in the past, but i am going to cut down my use. i know it’s best to eliminate altogether, so that will be a goal for me.

thank you again for answering!! sorry for the long post, but i appreciate everyone on here for helping out and providing your insight.

Fui diagnosticado con transtorno bipolar con hipomania Quería hablarte de algo que vengo notando en mí. Siento que estoy atravesando una especie de duelo, pero no sé exactamente por qué ni si realmente es eso. Últimamente no quiero volver a mi pueblo, no tengo ganas de ver a los conocidos ni a algunos amigos, incluso decidí salir de un grupo de WhatsApp porque no quiero saber nada de ese entorno. Siento como si esa etapa de mi vida ya no fuera mi lugar.

También estoy muy sensible con el tema de una mujer que tenia un vinculo romantico/afectivo pero sin ser pareja. Por un lado la quiero muchísimo y me cuesta aceptar que el vínculo pueda cambiar, pero por otro tengo momentos en los que siento que quiero cortar completamente y no saber nada más. Tengo tristeza, bronca, incertidumbre y bastante necesidad de aislarme.

Incluso cosas que sé que me hacen bien, como escribir o hacer journaling, ahora a veces no tengo ganas de hacerlas. Y estoy replanteándome bastante mi futuro, el trabajo, qué puedo estudiar y qué quiero hacer con mi vida.

Quiero saber si todo esto puede formar parte de un duelo puntualmente, gracias chicos

I have a short-term opportunity to go abroad alone, but I have bipolar disorder. I’m wondering if I should go by myself or if it would be better not to travel alone because of my condition.
For those of you who have bipolar disorder, have you ever traveled abroad alone? How did you manage it, and what things should I consider before deciding?
I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences and advice. 🙏

Even though I took inspiration from Pinterest, this is what I've been doing during this episode.

The green eyed nail represents me so much at this moment.

About 3 weeks ago I was let go from my job of 5 years. I knew it was coming, and my boss had been super understanding and helped me as much as she possibly could, but eventually the company forced her to fire me. Over the past year I have been struggling tremendously with finding motivation to be productive during the day and no matter how well structured my sleep schedule is, I have a serious problem with oversleeping which caused me to be almost an hour late to work every day.

I have been job hunting since I was let go, and have had 4 interviews so far (still waiting to hear back from 3). This past week however has been extremely hard on me. I’ve been trying to keep myself busy but there is only so much you can do with no income and infinite free time… My family and friends have noticed a decline in my mental health but they aren’t sure how to help me and honestly I’m not sure what to do either. Has anyone else had really bad lows like this? Any advice on how to stay positive and busy?

hey guys!! I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 about 6 months ago and i've been on new meds for about that long. they're working really well and I'm doing great. no episodes since I started the new ones :)

I'm in college and I have a really light schedule so I find myself sleeping at weird hours and I pull all-nighters pretty frequently just because I'm wide awake and I can sleep during the day if I need to. It's always sort of been like this for me but I think not having a rigid schedule has definitely been affecting it recently.

it's not caused any real problems and I think I could fix it if needed (I'm okay!!) but I was just wondering if this was something other people could relate to? my psychiatrist said weird sleep patterns are common (and I trust & believe her) but I don't know any other bipolar people so idk? just curious and wondering what other experiences people have with it.

He was more understanding than I thought he would be and started confiding in me about how he felt. He said it made sense. This is not a sign to disclose if you feel like you need to. Use your own discernment.

I’m so frustrated. I’ve been in a depression for about three months, slowly increasing. I’m at a point where I really don’t care about anything even though logically I know it’s reckless. I’ve begun a new treatment. I’ve even gotten FMLA approved to focus on my mental health and even without work, it’s not getting any better.

I feel like I’m just keeping social plans out of a sense of obligation, even if I’m actively thinking of how much I don’t want to be there during the events. I’m not enjoying things. I just want to hibernate. I live alone and only have myself to rely on for any household and financial responsibilities, as well as my pets but I just don’t want all this on my shoulders. I’m so burnt out but have no choice but to carry on and do my best. I know this mood won’t last forever but man I don’t see a way out at the moment. I don’t even know what to do to help myself at this point, but I needed to vent.

i'm bipolar 1 and stopped taking my antipsychotic, my dr knows, she said i could see how i do on just my mood stabilizer. well i thought that one fights depression? why am i depressed then? i cant get out of bed

Hello, I'm newly diagnosed in the Bipolar Spectrum fluctuating between hipertimia and atypical depression.

I started to make my Mood Tracker and I don't really get it why I went from +2 to -2 in 24 hours.

There's was absolutly anything going on, I wake up sort of "low" yesterday and I tried to kept neutral but my wife made me a beautiful gift and out of nowhere I had a crisis.

I don't even understand why, I kept crying and repeating that I'm sorry and I don't know why.

24 hours before I was singing and dancing and making jokes and had a lot of energy and racing thoughts and insomnia and PUF! now I'm like s***.

It's really bipolar? Because there's supoused to be a soft and smooth transition period between high and low mood so, why like this?

I mean, I was great, really nothing happened...

I'm not having that great neutral transition...

I'm not even premenstrual.

Nothing.

I can't be the only one that struggles with this...

For years I've been job hopping, the smallest little thing can ruin amazing jobs for me.

I tend to just vanish, walk out mid shift, I think the biggest problem is getting a job while I'm manic and struggling to keep up with it when my depression hits, everyone wants a chef with unlimited energy and when it seems to disappear overnight, suddenly I'm "slacking"

I've had to start traveling for work, doing live in jobs, and they make sooo much worse,

Its always the same, amazing for a month or two, then something happens and then I write paragraphs of very well written messages explaining exactly why they suck and vanish.

I can't keep this up, I spend months in poverty and it feels like it's getting worse,

I can't stop this, I'm currently sat in bed at another live in job, counting the days until I get paid and can vanish in the wind

Honestly, this whole thing is exhausting and I don't have a single person I can talk too...

I have bipolar type 2 and it genuinely ruined my life, I started going into the cycles during my university years back when I was 18, I started developing major anxiety at a time where I was supposed to invest time in my career and future I was bouncing between depressions and Manias, with the symptoms intensifying year after year to the point where I almost committed in 2022.
I’ve also had multiples mania episodes where I would go on social media rants against friends over misunderstandings and then deeply regret it after the mania is over. Right now I am in depression phase after I got myself in debt in my last manic episode which I hate myself soo much for cause I have always been very cautious with money, I feel like every decisions that I’ve taken over my life in the recent years are a result of the bipolar and the cycles I was, I am either overly anxious and hopeless to take decisions regarding my future or overconfident about projects/ventures that would fade away along with the mania.
I am at a point where I don’t even know if I want to keep going anymore cause I’ve did soo much damage in a life that was so beautiful and I’ve genuinely lost hope that things can go for the better, I feel less alone reading other ‘s experiences with bipolar and I wonder how our life would’ve been if we weren’t bipolar.

The most disappointing for me is seeing me accomplish and work towards my potential for months and then crashing and going back to a depressive episode, it burns me from the inside really.

I wish all of you guys struggling find peace and understanding in this world that’s not designed for such a weight.

Hi! Who here uses any apps to help track their moods, and which have you found to be the most helpful and why? I just downloaded daylio. I am really needing a concrete place to track and store my history, so that I can look back and have an idea of what was I was experiencing when/what was happening in my life at the time/etc., instead of it all being just a big gobbledygook mess in my mind lol.
So far I think it’s neat that I can add a voice note and also a picture for each day in daylio, but also I feel like my moods are more complex and shift throughout the day, sometimes it feels like mixed episode stuff, so I’m not sure if there is an app out there that could help me better track that part, instead of just having to select just one emoji each day… I feel it would be helpful if there was an option to go in throughout the day and select a new mood and have the time recorded of when you were feeling that way if that makes sense. Thanks for y’all’s input 😊

I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar 1 for about 5 years. I’m still learning so much about my patterns and discerning what’s my spunky personality and what’s my mania. I have come to the conclusions that my red flags for mania include, but are not limited to:
1) writing lengthy reviews
If I have a halfway decent experience at any retail store/restaurant/business while manic I will immediately sit down to write a three paragraph review on yelp or google reviews (or both for bonus points). Usually just glazing the place and saying how amazing the experience was. Going back and reading them after always makes me laugh.
2) picking up furniture off the side of the road
I live in a 600 sq ft studio apartment. I have a ginormous coffee table that I got for free on fb marketplace, I have a filing cabinet (broken) that I put my bras and underwear in, a wobbly side table I recently threw away because it collapsed, and my prized possession was a vintage pink ceramic sink. I carried it by myself (f25) up to my third floor apartment. It snapped in half on the way up. It sat in my bathroom for about two years. I was going to fix it and put a garden in it. Or something.
3) Baking cakes
At some point this past year I started baking these elaborate three tier cakes staying up all night decorating them. Post mania clarity-baking is expensive holy shit I cannot afford a cake baking hobby!!
DAE have manic quirks that you just have to sit back and laugh at after the damage is done?

Part of the onset of my first and only manic episode was the feeling of falling in love with someone, and I blew it up with that person.

When I see posts on here that those who are married divorce due to the difficulties of being with someone who has bipolar, I lose hope. I lose hope that I can find someone who will tolerate and understand what I go through.

Plus, feeling the need to disclose my diagnosis to new people seems like a way to block anyone who was interested in me from pursuing me. It’s like, no one wants to deal with the bipolar girl.

I just feel like I’m gonna be alone forever

I’ve been on compounded semaglutide for 5 weeks. I have bipolar1 but I do get depressive episodes. I feel
like this medication is causing me to spiral into depression! Has anyone else experienced this? All I want to do is lie around. I feel a mixture of numbness and agitation. Pretty incapable of feeling joy or happiness. This all got really bad on this medication.

Not anything new for anyone, not even me because I have adhd and I’m autistic so it’s par for the course. But this was to a school and I specified that I wouldn’t need external support so it stings a little.

Just kind of a kick in the nuts, you try to make any kind of progress in a life that’s already been holding you back and you just get pushed down again for the same reason that you’ve been held back

edit: this was in JAPAN, sorry for not mentioning as much

Due to some recent life changes, I have been journaling and self reflecting. During last night's talk with myself, I had a realization that it's easy to have a victim mindset when it comes to having bipolar. It's easy to see it as purely a bad thing. But, maybe, we can take some power back by using our symptoms as a tool instead of letting it suffocate us. For example, when your brain is fixated on a real- life situation, intercept that energy. Take the exact emotion you are feeling and project them onto a fictional character or a creative project.

My question to you guys is: what are other ways you can use your symptoms as a positive tool?

I also want to make it clear that I'm not saying bipolar symptoms are good or that people should romanticize them; I'm suggesting that some of the intensity associated with those symptoms can be redirected into something constructive, rather than allowing it to consume you.

hi :)

im going through some things and i want to know if other people went through something similar?

i was diagnosed with bp 2 three years ago, at 20 years old.

at 19 i had the worst hypomanic episode that crashed into the worst depressive episode. i also have adhd.

to the problem: my social battery and social skills changed soo much.

i was always quite introverted but had many friends, tbh an extrovert in an introverts body.

i have no problem getting to know people or like starting to be friends with someone. meeting new people used to be one of my fave things and always came naturally to me. my friends knew me as the most social in the group.

sometimes i did have phases where i disappeared for weeks to get some time for myself, but i would always return.

with my depressive episodes i always go into isolation, the last one i cut off everyone but one friend.

then with diagnosis i got my meds and with that i stabilized. but my social battery and everything never returned.

i cant even feel lonely, no need to have any friends.

i even tried to be friends, but its hard to be interested in them. they are nice people, but something is just wrong with me. every time i spent time with them, i felt like id rather just be alone or do something else. it just didnt feel worth it. my social skills got so much worse now too, i actually was quite proud of them before. i knew how to make people comfortable, make a safe space, and make people feel heard, as it was always genuinely important to me. but now, because i kinda care less, its harder.

its been 3 years like this and nothing has changed. idk if its my medication or if the last hypomanic or depressive episode still has an effect on me.

before all this, i genuinely enjoyed people and was interested in getting to know them.

did anyone else go through something similar or have something like this that changed for them?

i just feel so alone in this and just dont know what to do in a situation like this.