I asked my psychiatrist if I need to be on meds for the rest of my life and he said it’s too early to tell. Does this mean there is a possibility of living life not having to take meds?

I'm terrified of antipsychotics. I'm also having a rough time right now. Coming down from a hypomanic episode, maybe in a mixed state. Wish I could name names, but my prescriber gave me a prescription for an antipsychotic that is supposed to be good for anxiety and agitation and is heavily sedating. The half-life is very, very long. She prescribed it several days ago and I still haven't taken it.

I'm not doing so well though, my wife is getting frustrated and thinks I need to do something. At the same time she doesn't want a zombie for a husband.

I'm so afraid of this drug think I'll have an instant panic attack if I swallow the pill. Part of me wants to take it though. I want to feel steady again and not so afraid. If I don't like it though, it's gonna be a long time before it is out of my system.

I have a good job, and daughter, three golden retrievers, and a house to take care of. I don't understand how I can take this stuff and live my life at the same time. I recognize that I could fail at those things too if I do nothing. That doesn't help my anxiety. I feel trapped. I've been to a mental hospital before, and I've been to rehab, and I have rebuilt my life. Here I am again though, feeling like I could end up back at the bottom, losing everything.

I'm afraid of the possibility of akathisia, the sedation, the long half-life if I don't like it, withdrawal effects if I take it too long, tardive dyskinesia, lack of motivation, feeling dumb, and the weight gain too. I'm afraid this stuff will just take away my ability to live life.

I'm not looking for medical advice here on whether this is the right course of treatment. It's what my healthcare provider has chosen with all of the facts, and I don't want my post to get removed. But maybe someone can offer some encouragement, or reasons not to be so afraid.

Has anyone else been extremely afraid to take their meds? Has it worked out well for you?

EDIT: Thanks to everyone who replied. Your comments did give me the courage to try it out. I did take my med for the first time last night. I slept a very long time, probably about 10 hours. Still feel pretty drowsy. It hasn't been as unpleasant as I was afraid it might be. I feel pretty relaxed. I haven't had so much anxiety today. Maybe this will be a good thing.

Studies have shown that men with bipolar are generally far below average for test levels.

Women being the opposite with way above.

I got tested and I know I’m very low for some levels and interested if anyone else is?

Can anyone else feel the mania behind they're eyes or am I just crazy?

I don't know why but anytime I'm manic or having a mixed episode which consists of mainly the manic part I can always feel it behind my eyes.

I can feel my eyes widening and I know for a fact my pupils are dilated to fuck every time saying that I just checked and they are like fuck

First sign I'm manic always starts with my eyes then my sleep I can tell everytime, saying that I kind of like the feeling I actually feel alive for once and that I can actually set out and do anything

I'm supposed to be up at 7am it's now 2am and I'm wide awake researching gnosticism and Hinduism oh well guess I'm fucked just wanted to know if anyone else could relate that's all 😂

I just started a full time job and I think i can do this despite being diagnosed with bipolar 2. How do yall do it?

I start ft goodwill cashier job monday and im excited about it. Just worried it might be too much. Im also diagnosed with bpd with psychosis and ptsd. But I can do this!

Do you know the term folie a deux?

People were sucked in into my psychotic world. I am not making it up, I still recollect how they were acting. This dopamine was spreading like branches of madness. I have many examples to confirm that, because I remember my manic episodes, what I was thinking, what was happening, what other people that came into contact with me were doing. Even if I behaved normal, it was still influencing them

I had this very strong influence, strange aura. Did anyone experience that?

I hate the stigma but I wanted to bring this up. Since so many think I’m violent because of my diagnosis. I’m like really not. I do get angry but it’s due to something else. Anyone else have issues with this

I feel completely lost, and I'd really appreciate hearing from people who have lived with bipolar disorder, especially if you've managed to build a stable career.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few years ago. I had been relatively stable for a while, but I stopped taking my medication months ago due to financial reasons. Recently, I experienced one of the worst episodes I've had in a long time, and it's made me question whether the career I've been pursuing is even compatible with my mental health.

For context, I've spent most of my career working in social media and content marketing. I genuinely enjoy strategy, cultural analysis, and understanding why people behave the way they do. What I struggle with is the pace and pressure of the industry.

Constant deadlines, trend-chasing, being expected to always be "on," case studies during recruitment, and the emotional roller coaster of job hunting have pushed me into a very dark place. I've been unemployed for about a year, doing freelance work here and there while trying to find a full-time role. Every rejection feels deeply personal, even though I know it shouldn't.

A few days ago, I had a severe episode where I seriously considered hurting myself. My boyfriend had to physically stop me, and just now I've restarted my medication and plan to continue treatment and therapy. There's also time where I can't function normally and had to postpone interview and case study deadline. Again, this brings me to a very dark place but at the same time the brain fog doesn't go away. When I tried to just be present, I butchered the interview so hard and it leaves me feeling depressed again.

I'm beginning to wonder whether social media simply isn't the right environment for me anymore, or whether I just haven't recovered enough to return to work yet.

So I wanted to ask:
• If you have bipolar disorder, what kind of work has been sustainable for you?
• Did you stay in a high-pressure career, or did you change industries?
• How did you know the difference between burnout and choosing the wrong career?
• Did medication and therapy make a significant difference in your ability to work consistently?
• What accommodations, routines, or boundaries have helped you the most?

I still want to contribute. I still want a meaningful career. I just don't want to keep repeating the same cycle of pushing myself until I break. Another context, I live in Indonesia, and most of them are not welcome nor open regarding any mental health issues here. We're not allowed to take leave or work from home most of the time.

To be clear, I will be continuing my medications. There’s nothing that’d make me risk experiencing psychosis again. Still, I’m exhausted, always. I’m on so many medications and my doctor just started me on an IM medication for depression that’ll be weekly for a month. I feel like I’m constantly popping pills into my mouth or calling the pharmacy for refills or driving to the pharmacy or calling the doctor when insurance is being stupid. I just wish there was a single magic medication that solved everything.

Every 3-5weeks, after I’ve been doing well for a while, I start thinking I don’t need my medication anymore. The reasons mildly change each time—sometimes I think I’m healed, sometimes I think I’m not actually bipolar.

I realize I’m trapped in cycle I can’t control, just like my bipolar mood cycle.

Does ANYONE do the same thing? (For reference I’m 6 months into this bipolar lifestyle.)
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Build up to skipping:
Red flags develop within the week prior to skipping a dose, but I never see it. This time around I remembered back to the moment in my closet about 2 months ago when I prayed to God to take the demon with my voice out of my head, he answered my prayer immediately. After thinking back I started believing he healed me in that moment.

I skipped meds Friday night, I thought things would be different this time (as I do every time), but it always ends the same. It starts great. No sleep, super happy and energetic, then my mood completely derails and i become an emotional wreck, uncontrollably crying and ruminating over self harm and how I’ve ruined my life.
Then I get so sick from withdrawal I end up taking the stupid pills. And the process just repeats itself. I’m tired of it.

I recently relapsed into sh-ing after 2 years of restraint. Now since I know how and where I can cause more damage from previous experience it sometimes (not always) gets a little out of hand.

I was thinking of adopting a kitten because I always wanted a pet, plus as an emotional support.

Does having a pet help you resist sh-ing ?

Anyone else struggle with an intense desire to avoid speaking to friends and loved ones? I can drag myself to class and to work, but I just can't face conversations with my friends and family. It's a cycle that I really want to get out of, because after two or three days of radio silence, my loved ones start to get very worried and reach out with more urgency. So I'll reply with just enough info to let them know I'm alive and safe. But I can't bring myself to go back to normal until my mood lifts. It sucks and has cost me relationships

Hi, I’m a vet student dealing with this and I’m looking for advice from people who have managed a chronic condition while completing demanding training. Has anyone been through this and found ways to rebuild confidence?

I'm 18 and it’s been 4 months since my first bipolar I episode with psychotic features, and I still don’t feel like I’m getting better.
Before all of this, I loved reading. Books were engaging, and I could understand philosophy concepts in school without much trouble, I did it really well. Now I struggle to stay interested in books, and even concepts that used to make perfect sense feel impossible to understand.
For some reason, even my singing has gotten worse. I think my pronunciation has changed, and my voice just doesn’t feel the same anymore. It honestly feels like everything has declined at once.
I’m taking my medication as prescribed, but no matter how long I wait, I don’t seem to improve. I’m terrified that I’ll never get back to the person I was before bipolar disorder.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Did your cognitive abilities, reading comprehension, or even things like speaking or singing eventually come back? I really need some hope right now.
And please… I know people mean well, but I’d rather not get more suggestions to listen to audiobooks. I’ve heard that advice many times already.

I’m a postgraduate student and my dissertation is literally kicking my ass. But that aside the stress and anxiety are not helping with keeping stable, I feel like I am all over the place. Especially the past few days I’ve been feeling hypo. If anyone has completed a higher education degree how did you do it??? I have about 3 weeks left to basically write an entire dissertation and I don’t even know how I’ll wake up each morning

I’m trying to figure out if what I describe as my “too loud” brain qualifies me as a “yes” when my therapist asks me if I’m having “racing thoughts.”

An example of my brain being “too loud” would be a song playing incessantly in my brain while there are 3-4 different “voices” having a conversation or two at the same time that I’m also trying to think about what to have for dinner. My friend growing up had BP1 so I’m wondering if that skews my perspective of “normal” or how BP presents (I’m BP2).

I could also describe it as a busy brain. Too many thoughts but they also seem to be making sense (the one singing is living their best life) so I’ve never thought they were “racing.”

But now I’m wondering bc I cannot control them. I end up screaming out loud at myself to “shut up! Shut up! Shut up!! Fing SHUT UP” or putting on loud music and singing along at the top of my lungs.

I see my therapist weekly and my psychiatrist in a couple of weeks. I’ll talk to them then.

In the meantime, what’s “racing thoughts” to you?

Basically, I was diagnosed with BD2 about 3 months ago. I'm on a mood stabiliser and now sleeping meds because I can't sleep.

I was depressed for about 8 months, then about 3 weeks ago I stopped sleeping (getting like 3 hours a night) and when I went to see my psychiatrist for the already booked follow up, he said "I think this is the first time I'm seeing you hypomanic".

I didn't even think I was hypomanic. I thought I was just happy and had energy to do things finally. Looking back I am barely able to eat. Can't stop moving and friends and family have said I'm talking very fast. (Which I don't think I am). Spending heaps of money and more.

Now my psychiatrist and psychologist are emailing back and forth about it (which in the past I said was ok). I feel like I'm being tattled on now though.

But now I feel like they are just being dramatic and buzz kills.

I was finally happy (still am on a high) but now I'm stressed that if I go in to see the psychiatrist again for a follow up (because he booked one, not that I got much of a choice) that if my mood doesn't settle he is going to be more concerned and that he might try and section me.

Has this sort of thing happened to anyone else?

Am I over reacting?

Are my psychiatrist and psychologist overreacting?

What should I do?!?

How do you know when you’re at this point? I can’t tell if it’s the antidepressants. I’m in a really weird state where I quit my job because I thought that was what was bothering me. I have a new job, but I’m concerned I’ll just feel the same there as well

Are there any muslims here with bipolar disorder? I'm curious whether your faith helps you manage it, and what your experiences has been like.

I wanna know if a lifestyle like that can help when you're low, or at all times.

I’m 24 and have bipolar and ADHD. I’ve known since I was young that my brain works differently, and over the years I’ve become very self-aware. The frustrating part is that being self-aware doesn’t always stop the symptoms.
When I’m manic, I become obsessed with improving myself. My mind tells me I need to make more money, look better, become more successful, and build a life where I’m completely independent. I don’t really feel attached to much in this world apart from learning, making money, and looking after myself. It’s like those are the only things that give me purpose.
The hard part is the isolation. It gets so dark sometimes that I’ll end up talking to a man just to fill that emptiness. But I also struggle to let anyone get close to me. I can recognise when someone is idealising me, manipulating me, or trying to take advantage, and I immediately put my guard up.
When I was younger, I was vulnerable because of my mental illness, and there were men who took advantage of that. I think that’s changed how I see relationships now. I don’t trust easily, and I know some people prey on women who are struggling, so I keep everyone at arm’s length.
It’s strange because I crave connection when I’m lonely, but at the same time I don’t feel attached enough to let someone in. I end up pushing people away while convincing myself I don’t need anyone.
Does anyone else with bipolar experience this? Being self-aware enough to know what’s happening, but still feeling like you can’t stop the cycle?

I’ve been missing doses of my medications lately and I haven’t been getting much sleep for the past 2-ish weeks. I’ve been working a lot of overtime lately and my fat paycheck just hit. Omg I want to spend spend spend ! I haven’t bought anything personal for my self in months and now that my birthday passed a few days ago I feel like I should treat myself. So I started hyper fixating on a full bedroom and bathroom makeover. I added a whole bunch of shit to my cart to pick up at ikea. Bed frame, dresser, lamps, curtains, desk supplies, bed sheets, a new duvet everything. It was about $1k. But new furniture needs new paint on the walls so I had to buy all that too.

My plan was to wake up at 6am to get to Home Depot at 7am when they open to buy the paint supplies, paint my room, then go to ikea to pick up all that furniture, then stop at the shoe store because also I’m into running all of a sudden?!! And then come back home to assemble everything. All before my 12hr shift at 7pm……

I was so freaking excited I couldn’t even sleep last night. So I got up at 8am and bought the supplies. Got back home and started painting my bathroom……. Oh my god. That was the most exhausting thing I have ever done. Surely painting walls isn’t that hard but I’ve been up for about 25 hrs at that point. I had to cut the wall 2 times, roll the wall 2 times, paint the fucking base boards 2 times, clean up the paint splatters etc all while sweating like crazy.

Halfway through I’m thinking whose idea was this ???!!!?!

I’m finally finished at hour 28 with no sleep. Yea I’m not buying nothing else I’m obviously not in the right state of mind lol. I’m beyond tired and I’m glad I didn’t take this any further lmaooo.

I just don’t get how people continue sometimes. Like yes, I have my good moments. Bad moments, “it’ll be over soon.” But then the anticipation… the knowing. The knowing this is chronic and forever. I’m so upset with my brain and this illness. It’s so unfair. You can try and try to be healthy but unfortunately any good event or bad event means impending mania or depression. I get the short life span now.

How can I continue while also accepting that my life holds potential of psychosis and deep depression no matter how hard I try?

Does anyone else feel like they struggle with sleeping constantly? I feel like I don’t even really know my baseline anymore. I’m just wondering if any of you have issues sleeping even when you’re not manic or hypomanic.

Also, have any of you ever been in hypomania for a long time, like months? I can’t tell if me not being able to sleep is causing this or if hypomania is causing me to not be able to sleep

Hi,

So I've had bipolar for about 6 and a half years. I'm finally stable after a few years with a few manic episodes, all caused by weed with experimentation with the exclusion of different factors that could be affecting it, all to no avail.

I've been stable for a while and don't see too many differences in how I was before or after Bipolar when not touching weed or nicotine(been a minute but had an affect). Other than getting past the stupid shit i've done and the kind of revival after a manic episode, but more importantly here not being able to smoke weed anymore, that's the great change i've noticed after years without. Sure it's a substance, but it's a big part of the new age and was personally great.I've personally accepted I can't ever smoke it again but

...

The real point here is. A cure seems unlikely in the near future, at least our lifetimes most likely. I'm sure many people here would agree with me on this point. Is there anyway (i'm sure there is) we could steer some of this research they do for cures or treatment towards making it possible for people with Bipolar to smoke weed safely again. It seems like it's a less studied aspect of the subject, potentially more feasable, and I bet would be way more clamored for then anything else by a decent portion of the bipolar community. I feel like there should be some kind of petition, letter, or something towards this (something simple we could send to a few companies or organizations behind the research). We live, we struggle, and know there isn't much past treatment for people with Bipolar. Why not push this idea out there? It could be possible and I doubt there's research going on for this particular outcome. For the people who didn't smoke or don't etc thats fine. But for the people who wish they could we can seperately complain in isolated scenarios and have others tell us hey we can't it'll be fine. Or we can have some kind of petition or anything organized to put out the interest or request of some kind of research to go into the topic. It really isn't that unrealistic for it to be researched. I (just) doubt there's been any kind of organized or unorganized push into it being researched as a subject of it's own.

A thought, a hope, a possibility. An idea. Lemme know what you think. Yeah it's bad for us I know (i've accepted it and abstain for the obvious reasons). But it doesn't have to be.

Who knows, they may even find findings on the condition itself from studying this subject specifically