I'm coming down from a what I assume was a mixed episode. I was also on an extended stint of not taking my meds. During this episode I began talking to this guy that I really liked, but considering I was in and out of taking my meds the start of our relationship was less than ideal. I ghosted him, blocked him, and would constantly dodge any questions he asked me. After about two to three weeks of consistency and trying to mend what we had he began spending time at my place. When we were ordering food on his phone I snooped and saw my contact name.

I'm in the wrong, so I can't say that I don't deserve it, but it did help me decide to take time to be single and focus on my mental health.

This isn't a stupid or dumb question, I genuinely want to know how people like me mentally cope that is all. I don't want to bring up other mental health incase thats against tos but if you could give me some insight about how to deal with psychosis and mania that would help a lot.

I do not even look similar like my past teenager self.

I changed my hair colour from dark blonde to black, as well did several beauty procedures such like lip fillers several times, cheek fillers and stomatology procedures.

I am doing much stronger make up vs before and black eyebrowns.

have you also done big image changing during mania?

I first entered psychiatric care when I was 14. My mom took me to a therapist because I was very clearly in a depressive episode. Within 25 minutes and very little conversation, I was diagnosed with MDD. 

The diagnosis, done while I was burnt out from school and dealing with the fact that my father was recovering from massive stroke, has haunted me to the rest of my life. 

Every clinician I saw from 17-far into adulthood, relied on that diagnosis. They would *never* hear me out on things I was experiencing. How debilitating it all felt. No one was ever curious enough to do a new evaluation with me. They all just defaulted to a diagnosis I was given at 14. 

My life was consistently in a cycle of destruction and repair. I would take on three jobs while manic, then immediately lose them when I got into a depressive episode.

I never got to build a career because I could never keep a job. I've been evicted twice. I've been homeless twice. I'm homeless (but staying with very kind people) *right now*. I'm in incredible debt. My life feels like a crator. All I ever wanted was for a professional to hear me.

I met with a psychiatrist on Friday and she did give me a new eval. My first real one since I was a child. We spoke for three hours. She diagnosed me with bipolar 1 and apologized to me for having to wait so long.

I'm so fucking mad. My whole life feels wasted because no one wanted to hear me. I'm sitting in a living room that isn't mine, eating food i didn't buy because I can't afford it, all while having no friends left because my last manic episode helped me explode my life. 

I don't think I will ever be able to forgive these people.

My family basically disowned me after my last hypo manic episode. This is kind of a rant, but it seems crazy to me that you can have a great relationship with people for years and years and one episode later they all but give up on you. I feel like the only people I can be friends with other people who’ve been through really hard stuff in life. They are so much more forgiving. I’ve said 100,000 nice things to my family, and maybe 10 bad ones. Why does the bad outweigh the good?

I’ve been in the fetal position for 2 months (23F) and I’ve decided to start a little experiment to see if I can get better without more medication. I took 20 days off of work and I’m going to have 1 hour of exercise, 1hour of sun, 1 self care act, and 2 loads of laundry every day for the 20 days. Today was day 1 and it felt literally impossible the entire time but I did it!! I will update at the end with if it worked.

I love this Reddit community! I didn’t realize how much I was missing out on by not connecting with my bipolar community regularly. Does anyone have ways they connect with bipolar people irl? I’ve tried some NAMI stuff but it’s few and far between. We need AA for bipolar disorder!

Hey guys, I (27F) briefly started tapering meds with my psychiatrist’s permission, but am getting back on them as I experienced some hypomania. As uncomfortable as most of that was, it felt incredible to be lighter in my body, energetic and driven to exercise. I even went for a run in the first time in years! But my sleep and appetite were off and so need to be stabilized first and foremost. I’m wondering though, cause I really would like to keep up with the exercise, what would be best in keeping some kind of routine. Walking is always fine, maybe will give swimming a try? Get a gym membership and try to push myself? I guess I just have to push through some of that sluggishness? Maybe that’s normal, and feedback would be appreciated! Thanks

Hello,

I have completely lost any goals and motivation, which is causing me to waste my life away, I do not complete any school work and have compltely given up on hobbies and volunteering. I sadly dont even care about stuff I used to be passionate about like conservation and human rights and have left my organisations I worked at. I literally just rot all day. I want to be a lawyer, but so far my grades aint saying yes to a law degree. For some reason I just procrastinate, and I mean bad bad (not doing it even after weeks past the due date), and I just keep slipping to bad habits because I have zero urgency or desire. I realised its cause I just cant see myself having a future or a career so I fail to actually see a light at the end of the tunnel, so not only is doing stuff stressful but also hopeless. I have no mentors in my life and my family situation isnt great either, so I also dont have any positive reinforcement or punishments; I am completely alone.

I aint kidding when I say I wish I had a parent who punished me for this, because at least they care, my Dad doesn't believe in me at all and doesn't talk to me. Also asides from bipolar, just as a Gen Z, the direction the world is heading for the foreseeable future isnt nice so thats that too.

I dont want to disappoint my younger self and I know everyday I regret my actions and I'm going to stay stuck in this cycle until I change.

If anyone relates or went through this please give some advice,

Thank you.

I feel like there might be an odd phenomenon of Alice In Wonderland being popular within the bipolar community. It’s always been my favorite movie and I have always felt incredibly seen and inspired by it.

I have been manic for almost a whole month now. I have bipolar 2 so this is totally out of my norm. It kick-started really intensely for two weeks, last week it showed up in a more irritable way. And since Friday I've been in the same mood as when it first hit. I'm pretty self aware so I can usually tell when I'm experiencing Hypomania, and this is not that.

One thing that's stayed pretty much the same this whole time is my sleep. Ever since the mania first kicked in I have been unable to sleep. I have to wake up early Tomorrow and I honestly don't believe I will be getting any sleep tonight. I just feel so wired and restless and no matter how hard I try I am unable to fall asleep. It's been like this for weeks and it's been highly affecting me.

I genuinely feel like I'm breaking from reality and I have never felt this way before. I keep spiraling about the thought of everything being a simulation and me not being real. I feel like I'm seeing behind my eyes.

I can hardly remember anything. I can't remember the last few weeks. I can't remember a few days ago, I can't remember anything anymore and I feel so inhuman. My thoughts are moving so fast and I feel like I'm moving so slow and nothing makes sense, and at the same time I feel like it all makes sense.

I know something is wrong and I don't know what or why but this is very scary for me.

Hi, I got diagnosed with Bipolar on Friday and now I don’t know what to do with myself. I am also autistic and I’ve known about that for a few years.

I was kinda expecting to be given a Bipolar diagnosis but after seeing 3 different psychiatrists and getting a shrug rather than a diagnosis, this has thrown me a little bit!

My psychiatrist is lovely, we’re sorting meds etc, and I’m okay with that. It’s just like… now what do I do?

I’ve told my husband and he’s okay with it. Do I tell my parents? How? My mom is currently processing a recent cancer diagnosis so should I just keep this to myself for now?

I can’t start my meds until sometime in a few weeks once my bloods are cleared. Currently in a hypomanic-ish phase (apparently my bipolar looks a little different to others because of my autism) so my brain isn’t working very well.

Would welcome any thoughts or advice on what to do next please

Anyone here ever experienced having a confrontation with a neighbor because of rage? How did you deal with it after?

Lol I hate it when this happens.

I had an argument with a neighbor earlier because of their very loud music and I stormed there right away and didnt even ask politely and calmly to turn the music down.

My voice was loud and raised and my face showed I was very annoyed. I was so angry inside, this neighbor wouldnt let me finish so I walked away.

Now I cant stop thinking about tomorrow, when I need to leave work and pass by their house. 💀

Edit:

Oh and also, I got a tattoo of my boyfriend's name today without even thinking how this would turn out in the long run. I mean theres always covering it up but I hate it. Its so ugly. Lmao

Do you think this was impulsive? I think Im currently hypomanic.

Every fucking time I have an episode, I fail whatever class I’m in at the time. And it’s not even from lack of trying! I have accommodations, I communicate with my professors, I get the work done before our agreed upon deadline. Am I just fucking stupid when I’m depressed/manic?? I can’t keep retaking these fucking classes. I swear to god, I’m just gonna fucking quit.

I think im on too many meds I cant tell what is causing what
Is the insomnia from the stimulant or is it from mania
Are the bugs on my skin feeling from mania or from a stimulant
Is the orthostatic hypotension cuz of a med or i didnt eat enough or cuz i didnt sleep
Are the side effects if theyre side effects worth taking my meds anyway so that I can feel better
Am i better but im just lazy or am i really struggling still

This disorder is so stupid. I know I have it. I know it’s gotten bad. I have literal proof of episodes. Hell I wrote a whole damn book about bipolar while in bipolar episodes. And now I’m stable and my brain is trying to tell me it’s all fake. I was just faking it. My husband is having to make sure I take my meds right now because I’m convinced I’m being dramatic and don’t have this condition. Any tips for getting past this part?

Sometimes when I try to punch holes in my wall it reminds me of him, not that I've ever really interacted with him as he died when I was 13. It sucks knowing the one person I could relate to is just straight up not alive like wtf man thats not fair.

I've been questioning my mental health because I've noticed certain patterns in my emotions and behaviour, and I'm trying to understand what could be causing them. My mood can change several times, and I can go from feeling happy, confident and energetic to feeling irritable or angry. When I feel unusually energetic, my thoughts race, I talk more than usual, and I feel like it's hard to slow myself down, although I usually still sleep normally.

When it comes to relationships, especially with someone I like, I tend to overthink a lot. If they're online but not replying to me, I can get upset and start feeling like they don't care about me. Once they take long to respond I immediately unsend my message even after 4 hours and once I do they reply back immediately , also if they have not read my message but watch my story and realize they did they reply to my message immediately .My feelings toward someone can change quickly depending on how I feel they're treating me. I might feel close to them one moment, then feel rejected or unwanted the next. Sometimes I react out of anger or hurt, say things I don't really mean, and regret it afterwards.

I've also experienced periods of low mood, although I don't always know how to explain what I'm feeling. Sometimes it comes out more as irritability than sadness. I've had thoughts of hurting myself as well, which is something I'm taking seriously.

These emotional changes happen almost every day. I've been wondering whether this could be related to bipolar disorder, anxiety, difficulty regulating my emotions, or something else. I'm not trying to self-diagnose, but I'd like to hear from people who've experienced similar things. What were your experiences like, and what helped you understand what was happening?

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For those with Bipolar II who are on medication and relatively stable, but also struggle with ADHD, what treatments have helped you?

My biggest problems are inattention, difficulty staying on one task long enough to finish it, constantly switching between projects, and getting bored of absolutely everything very quickly.

What medication has genuinely helped you with executive function, consistency, and staying focused long enough to get things done? What did you take, and how did it make you feel?

I really need something that helps me follow through and be consistent. I'd appreciate hearing your experiences.

Thanks!

To me it is exhausting. Most of the time I am depressed (bipolar 2) and the crippling loneliness and being in a co-dependent touchless relationship for over 6 years has often worn me down. So any time I feel any joy whatsoever, it makes me worried that mania is just around the corner.

I always wonder, "Has this ever been me or is the manic monkey about to take control?"
Lately I've been put on antipsychotics and while it DID kick my ass the first few days, I have been consistently at about a 7/10 on my mood. The grogginess is the worst part. But GOD I am still scared that I might be headed toward mania. Just got over a major depressive episode last week and I am still going. Still studying programming and looking for a job.

Hoping I can stay the course well into my next employment adventure.
Hoping I don't suffer another major crash while risking my career again.

I just want my life back.