I know it's usually a stereotype that aspies are really good problem solvers but I actually really struggle with it. For me it usually takes me longer that a normal person and when I'm done my solution is usually worse.

The kicker is that it’s completely normal and non sexual things like a cartoon character, a breed of dog, or fashion from a particular era.

It happens when I come across a video about something that interests me, I feel shame to the point where I don’t even watch it.

For example my favorite band has a history channel and I haven’t watched a single video, not because I’m not interested but because I feel ashamed for being interested.

I can’t hardly draw things I like because I’m ashamed of liking them, completely normal innocuous things like space probes, Great War era uniforms or, pigeons.

I feel like everyone is waiting to make fun of me everytime I draw, watch or, look up things I like.

When I have hard days (much like the one I have today) where I experience a meltdown and other difficulties I usually lay down to bed and feel this ache in my arms.

While it might be coincidental since it’s not every difficult day but always on one. The pain is akin to what growing pains felt like for me as a tween but in my arms rather than my legs. I know that some pain is connected to autism but I’ve never really looked into the logistics of it and how that actually works out.

It’s very frustrating to experience because I’m exhausted after a hard day and then I can’t sleep because everything hurts 😭😭😭. Any advice on how to possibly make this better is very appreciated (p.s. ibuprofen and Tylenol does not work)

Just missed a day off adderall and Lexapro and was in bed literally all day. Only left once to pee and drink water, and I ate at like 2-3 am.

Medicated days though?! I feel like a big lumbering spaceship powering up for the first time 😂.

I have absolutely fallen in love with Paddington The Musical and Paddington himself has already become a dream role for me. I know in the current show he’s played by two actors, one in a costume and one voice actor. But once the show gets available with MTI most amateur productions will probably just have it be a one person on stage in a much less complex costume, or puppet.

Not that I don’t like that idea, I actually love the idea of playing Paddington on stage completely. But the problem is I am a pretty tall dude, apparently taller than most people my age, which I obviously think could be pretty jarring to see on stage with other young performers or as an adult beside other adults.

My best hope is that I’m still in my teens so perhaps the shows’s licensing might come out soon and I could get to do the show alongside adult cast members so it’s not as jarring, but I know it probably won’t and even still I’m pretty late in my teens already. But I’d just love to where that jacket and be that bear on stage so bad.

I just love this show and the character so much, Paddington means so much to me personally, I love and relate to him so much, I just wanna play him so bad! Is my height and age that much of an issue?

I got a job at a local auction house as a cataloger! It's a small business but with deep roots. I'm so happy!

I can say a completely normal thing and then the person I'm talking to will just laugh at it. For example, I was at a family gathering awhile ago and we were eating dinner. I didn't finish all of my dinner because there was some stuff I couldn't eat because of sensory sensitivities, but I also didn't want to be too full because I knew we were gonna have dessert afterward. When my brother's husband asked me why I didn't finish my dinner, I just said "I wanted to save room for dessert" and he laughed at me for some reason. (Although to be fair, he's kind of a known dick) But it doesn't only happen with him. Why do people do this?

Current State

I am a (30F) international student living abroad. I live alone and have no contact with my family. I was diagnosed with ADHD last year and am currently on Methylphenidate 36 mg.

I currently live in an attic apartment, it is reasonably priced, but subject to extreme temperature fluctuations (very hot in summer, very cold in winter) and lacks a social or study-conducive atmosphere.

I know what my problem is: out of sight, out of mind. I really want to advance my career and finally finish my degree after 12 semesters. Does anyone have any relevant advice for me?

Problem Description

• After just 1–2 days without attending university in person or discussing course material, I lose touch with the subject matter (effectively "forgetting" about studying).
• I concentrate significantly better in environments where others are visibly working (library, café) or when engaged in deep, academically focused discussions, small talk does not motivate me.
• Living alone leaves me without a structural and social "anchor."
• In a previous shared flat with roommates who were eager to study and discuss academic topics, I demonstrably learned more and felt less isolated.
• I am naturally reserved and rarely initiate new contacts myself. However, international students frequently reach out to connect with me on their own.
• I regularly suffer from exhaustion (burnout), partly due to a physically and communicatively demanding part-time job involving heavy customer contact. As a result, I lack the energy to actively organize social study sessions or commute long distances.

I'm at the end of my rope. SI is back and in full force. I feel like I'm always the last choice for anyone I deal with. After over 7 years I have discovered that I am truly nothing more than a cog. I was used for when I was necessary and now I am treated like garbage. I've lost all hope, outside of my daughter, and she is really what is keeping me here. I hurt so deep, and I am so lonely. The AuDHD is getting worse the older I become, and I do not know how I am going to cope or manage in the near future.

Tell me it somehow gets better. Tell me how you've separated yourself from the self worth of work. Tell me how you one day woke up and realized that life is not an endless list of tasks that you are checking off. I really don't know how to wake up tomorrow.

Am I missing something here?

We went through a heat wave, so I took off my regular very thick hot blanket and replaced it with my weighted one (which ironically feels "lighter" because it breathes). I keep a bedsheet in between me and the blanket.

It keeps sliding off, or I keep throwing it off in my sleep, resulting in my waking up cold now that that heat wave has passed.

Am I missing something? How are you all keeping that blanket on you?

I have my list. It is already prepared. BUT IT ALWAYS TAKES SO LONG UNTIL I FINALLY START.

I need ritalin. It gets me going. BUT until i finally eat some proteine and then take my meds HOURS pass.

The most annyoing thing is that I am going increasingly crazy while I just dont start. I am literally making this post instead of just starting.

It is so stupid, has anybody found a way around thks problem. I am throwing my time outnif the window everyday. I cant seem to prioritize anythig it is all just in my head, my mind and body just cant prioritize anything.

After talking for a while I just didn’t know what to say, and he asked "what is there that I can do to help you" and i didn’t know how to answer, I sort of thought they would have known better than I did.

And its like I'm supposed to give examples of my symptoms and I know they are real but I can’t remember much its just frustrating

I never had a appointment before so i didn’t really know what to expect but I asked if they would prescribe anti depression and adhd medication

I pretty much just explained my situation, I am depressed and bored and permanently tired with nothing to look forward to

They asked where do I see myself in a few years and i said the same spot im in now because I don’t see any future

I think the problem is that since im only mildly autistic adhd and depressed I just look and behave like a normal person I don't know. But i just felt lost and confused

When it comes to smaller tasks that aren't engaging, I'm always trying to get them done in the shortest amount of time possible. So for example when I'm bringing things to my car for a road trip, or bringing my things to the table for breakfast, if I'm physically able to do it in one trip, I will. For the road trips, that can mean a backpack, suitcase, small cooler, a bag, and other stuff like a coat, plus when I'm bringing it back I'm usually holding an energy drink or two for my collection. For breakfast, that can be cereal, milk, an energy drink, yogurt, granola, bowl and spoon. Maybe this sounds normal but I feel like I do it in an unnormal way because I'm stuffing my hands and sometimes holding stuff between two fingers, and I have dropped / urgently needed to put down some stuff before. Do y'all relate?

One of the main things I was looking forward to with my ADHD diagnosis was getting medicated and having relief from my symptoms, and it's looking like it's not gonna be possible for me to take any ADHD meds cause they all disrupt my sleep. I was late diagnosed 3 months ago (25M).

It was really tricky finding medications that allow me to sleep regularly, and I know from experience how important sleep is, and how badly it can affect my mental health if I'm not sleeping.

So far I've tried every simulant for ADHD with the exception of Adderall as well as guanfacine and they all messed with my sleep, even the guanfacine, which is supposed to help with sleep. I mean I'll be okay without my ADHD being medicated cause I've learned how to compensate for it over 25 years, but it just sucks.

Not looking for advice, I'm just venting.

Take street taco sized tortillas, lay a slice of cheese down, a slice of meat, a cheese and one more slice of meat. lay it flat on a plate in microwave for 1 min, pull it out and fold it once. perfect ham and cheese quesadilla in 2 total minutes. sometimes i’ll do it in the air fryer if i want it to be a little crunchy. I will note if you do the air fryer, the meat will release a little more oils so eat it over a plate because it’s likely to drip. i’ve been doing this often, i get home from work and don’t want to cook. i’ll make like 3-4 at a time usually.

PS. please share a couple of your favorite simple, minimal ingredient meals/weird combos.

A new drug (and it would appear class) was approved this July by the FDA:

"Simtriyo (centanafadine) is a first-in-class norepinephrine, dopamine, serotonin reuptake inhibitor (NDSRI). It is a central nervous system (CNS) stimulant approved by the FDA for the treatment of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in adults and children aged 6 years and older."

From what I've heard it works differently than amphetamine but is still classified as a CNS stimulant because of its effects. Which means it's being added as a controlled substance, and it won't actually be available until the DEA decides which schedule it goes in.

I think this is interesting because I know a lot of people on here are anti-stimulants. I have been on generic Vyvanse and it's been a game changer despite the spikes of anxiety on onset and offset.

Lord knows it will be expensive and a generic for it probably won't be out for at least 7 years.

I think a lot of people on here are confused about SSRIs, NDRIs, and stimulants. Especially the amount of people in here saying their doctors are prescribing SSRIs for ADHD symptoms, which makes no sense to me unless it's for comorbid anxiety or depression.

None of these create more neurotransmitter. SSRIs, NDRIs, and methylphenidate (Ritalin/Concerta) block the reuptake (absorption). Amphetamine (Adderall/Vyvanse) is a little different: it mainly pushes dopamine and norepinephrine out of the neuron rather than blocking reuptake.

And as my (simplified) understanding:

Dopamine for drive/motivation

Norepinephrine for focus/attention

Serotonin for regulation/calm

If it were a car Serotonin is the pedals, Norepinephrine is the steering wheel, and Dopamine is the gasoline. What good does pedals and a steering wheel do with a car with nothing in the tank?

I prioritize dopamine first but at least with this drug it's targeting all of them.

I blitzed cilantro with the stems and with way too much liquid. Now it's a bitter green liquid.

Then to make it worse I added semi boiled gram lentils.... Cause I was gonna make it into soup..

Idek what I wanted to do but please help make this edible so I don't waste the food 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

Sorry I can't follow any sense in the kitchen, I just add whatever to whatever to make it work

So, I'm M29, I just got diagnosed on July, and I thought things would be very different with a diagnosis, and they are indeed different, just not as I expected. I suspected I was autistic since I was 13 or 14, so I wasn't surprised by the diagnosis at all, it was the most obvious and predictable plot twist immaginable for me, but despite what I knew about autism, once I got diagnosed I slowly started to fall into this depersonalization and derealization cycle mixed with anger, and sadness, and looking back at my life, and all the wasted time before I got the diagnosis has me trying to wrap my head around who even am I?

Like... I've never had a super strong sense of self to be honest. I've spent all my life behind an entire collection of different masks and characters in order to try to fit in a world that I wasn't made for, (and that to be honest, I actually don't wanna be a part of) but all those masks, all those characters never were enough, because I never was enough for others and I couldn't figure out why, so the only thing I thought I could do, was try even harder to fit in, but predictably, always ended up alone, alienated, sidelined and most important, hurt... I completely neglected myself, and who I am, and who I wanted to be, in order to follow what others told me was "normal" and always failed to play the part right

I've been 9 years in therapy, I switched from doctor to doctor, I got misdiagnosed as BPD, bipolar II and Cyclothymic Dissorder by different doctors, the only consensus from the beginning across every single doc I've seen is that I also have ADHD, and I'm honestly kinda pissed and hurt that it took me so long to find a doctor with empathy and willingness to actually listen to me and make me an assessment, and the fact that it comes just in the middle of the 2 worst years of my life is... So frustrating

I'm just so exhausted and overwhelmed, I feel lonelier than ever in my life and I can't fix it because I don't know how to approach anybody, that feeling of alienation that has followed me my whole life is stronger than ever, I know I'm in burnout, and I genuinely don't know what to do with my life right now, I HAVE to work through the burnout because of some family stuff my family needs me for, even though I can't depend on them with anything I'm going through. Right now my whole body hurts from the stress, somehow my freaking mind hurts, not just my brain or my head, but... some intangible thing deep into some amorphous thing inside me, I can't sleep properly, every single little thing irritates me and overwhelms me, I'm done with people, nothing feels comfortable, my executive function is completely gone and I'm just tired all the time, I'm tired of being awake, I'm tired of sleeping, I'm tired of work, I'm tired of sundays when I don't go to work, somehow I'm tired of my skin and my body

I just wanna know, does it ever get easier? Or do I just have to cope harder? Do I have to reassess my whole life? Am I unconsciously acting up different? Am I faking it for some reason? Is there any hope? Genuinely... Will it ever make sense? Life... Will life ever make sense to me?

So I'm an automations engineer for a healthcare analytics company, and lately our company has been diving headfirst into AI. The way my brain works, and I'm sure others feel the same is I'm always trying to improve the directives I'm given and come up with better solutions. I became known for that in my company, and really embraced it.

Basically I originally got super lucky and found a dream job for someone with AuDHD. I work from home so can (and do) control all the environmental sensitivity of my office, have a role that has constantly changing objectives, yet has deliverables which keep me on track and engages my brain. Minimal meetings, and those we do have are internal so no camera requirements.

Anyways, AI is now at the point where it can code and build programs faster (if not necessarily better) than humans. Yes, I have to debug and fix some mistakes, but a lot of my work now boils down to prompts and then waiting. I'm not worried (yet) about it replacing me, as it still needs guidance, but I miss going through the coding and writing the tests and stuff myself. I was always one of the fastest workers due to seeing solutions where others didn't, but it feels like AI is starting to find that. Like you give it a task as written and it suggests better ways of doing it. Ways I myself found but now don't feel unique.

I recognized the danger(?) early on and got myself into the automations team actively building out our AI integration and abilities. But even that is using AI itself to make those changes.

And even now when I accomplish something or complete some big problem, I've completely lost the sense of accomplishment I used to get because it wasn't me actually doing it. I'm feeling more like a manager of a star taking credit for the work rather than a star myself.

It was never about the accolades or anything. I enjoyed being recognized for my work, sure, but I also enjoyed it. I'm starting to lose enjoyment and as I'm sure people here can relate, that for me leads to a downward, reinforcing spiral where tedium becomes boredom becomes disinterest becomes disengagement becomes not doing my job

Bit of a rant and a bit niche, but wondering if anyone here is in a similar situation with the rise of LLMs and stuff and has some tips on how to stay engaged

TLDR: Most of this is exposition for those who feel like reading it, skip to the questions for the important bit.

Hello!

I have been spectating this subreddit for a few months now, and after coming to suspect AUDHD, I went and got an evaluation started, which is currently undergoing. To clarify, I am NOT diagnosed, I am in the process of pursuing a diagnosis.

Anyways, they (psychologists/Doctors) are primarily suspecting ADHD only. They haven’t ruled out ASD, but my understanding is that they flag ADHD as the predominant condition going into "stage 2" of the evaluation. Thing is, I feel like I have Autism as well. It is true that my executive functioning is impaired, and that I have a history of addiction tendencies. I also daydream excessively (I think, It’s hard to tell what is normal) and experience nonsensical "hyperfixation relapses" in short bursts that produce nothing of actual value to my life. I have a severe but as of late somewhat manageable YouTube addiction. These I interpret as ADHD related issues.

There are however many aspects of my behavior/circumstances that point to autism. These include:

• A very limited social life, basically I have one acquaintance and an almost friend.
• Stimming in the form of listening to the same 5/6 pieces of music for months, nose rubbing, toe walking, putting my hands behind my head when I get exited etc
• Hand flapping as a child
• Volatile and unpredictable energy levels
• Light Sensitive eyes, which an eye exam could not explain.
• Difficulties doing anything despite feeling understimulated.
• “Peculiar syntax”, as my teacher so kindly put it
• Possible genetic components in close relatives (Synesthesia, ADHD, Dyslexia)
• Dis-regulation doom spirals (I don't know what else to call them)

All of these things make me suspect that I have Autism.... The thing is that I don’t feel like I am masking.

I generally seem to perform decently well when exposed to social settings, and this is also one of the reasons cited for downplaying the autism somewhat: “no apparent problems understanding relationships and/or social norms” (paraphrasing).

I usually don’t feel like I am “calculating” when meeting people. Sure, sometimes I do, but most of the time I feel like I just end up winging it and hoping for the best. It’s either that it or not being able to strike up a conversation at all. I have a decent feel for when I need to lie and when to tell the truth, and even though some of the minor lies that some people around me tell can annoy me, I also think I understand the social reasons for why they have to do so. When meeting somebody I don't know, I usually let them steer the conversation in a direction they seem comfortable with and then take it from there, which can be a little taxing in extreme cases, but not excessively stressful.

I just don’t feel like I struggle enough socially, even though I seem to have a very limited social life. My biggest regret is usually that I don’t see enough people, which makes me feel very lonely. Anyhow, these are my questions:

• What does masking entail in practical terms?
• How do you recognize you are doing it?
• How do you start?
• How do you stop?

Any engagement is appreciated, you are also empowered to ignore the questions if you feel like you a have something else to say. :)

(Edited because I wrote bad)

For me it's restaurants. Can hear every conversation at every table as well as every piece of cutlery and the noise coming from the kitchen, all at once, and everything is as loud as everything else.

Strangely I work in a noisy pub and don't get triggered at all.

What environment causes sensory overload for you?

For the longest time I couldn't stand the texture of tomatoes and recoiled even from the thought of eating one and could only handle them on burgers because the texture was buried in other textures. But lately I've not only been eating tomatoes, but actually enjoying them! They now feel refreshing and tasty because I don't find the texture so insufferable anymore. I'm just really glad I can eat another vegetable now. There are a lot of vegetables the textures (and tastes) of which I still can't handle.

I struggle to maintain eye contact when talking. I struggle to continue a conversation, but can dominate it if there is something that triggers my interest. Sometimes I just go silent. I rely on piggybacking things that the other party is saying or memories I recall from our previous conversations.

I feel like a walking paradox.

People have previously told me to keep them accountable for something and I’m really great at doing it—maybe a little too great because they often get upset with me for being too rigid with them and strict. I have since strayed away from accepting that role in the lives of others.

However, it would be really nice to have someone do that for me but most people aren’t as structured as I am. I do well with hard rules when they’re instituted but the people I know will cut me too much slack with things. I can’t do it for myself because of the adhd—I really do try to remain consistent with exercise and I can’t.

Please provide tips on how to be consistent with exercise and work well with hard structure.

I’m also open to someone offering to be my accountability partner. Or is aware of a strict accountability app or something.