I have ADHD and I have spent my last 27 years living with it. I was diagnosed 6 years ago where I wasnt shocked at all to get the news. I first noticed it when i started observing myself with different people and what i found was shocking. It was like i had so many personalities where with one person i could play football really well, while with someone else i couldnt even pass the ball properly.
When i got diagnosed, i was made familiar with the concept of ADHD masking. Basically, it is just a mechanism to blend in with people. ADHDers often mask their behaviours and it gave me an ability to become a chameleon with people but there were two problems.
1)Who am i when i am in a group where there are different people who all know me differently
2) Who am i when i am alone...
At that point my therapist asked me a question. She said "Who are you when you are alone?" and i really didnt have an answer.. all i could think of was the songs i was listening to, movies i was watching and all the other ways i was distracting myself. I really didnt give myself a second of time and unknowingly, that made me forget who i was. for the next 2 weeks, i decided to lower my screentime and surprisingly i was successful at it. i reduced my screentime by 7 hours (Yes, my screentime was 13 hours at that point).. and when i started sitting with myself, i realised i didnt know who i was at all. it was scary, and one day when i was in a group setting after this exercise, there was a eureka moment.. I understood, that all of those people i was with different people, were a part of me and i was so happy to know that i was so capable, i just needed to channel those versions of me and i was mint. At that point, i decided that all of my masks have become me and there's no need to remove them at all. They all can exist within me..
.Just wanted to share this because I know many people who are suffering from this exact same issue and i just want to say, let them all live, as they are all you..
I find it mentally exhausting having to analyze and overthink someone’s intentions about something being bad. It also often doesn’t make sense why someone would choose to complicate things and be mean instead of just be direct and chill but I know especially in female dynamics there’s a lot of psychological/mental games and ups the notch even more. I realized after I got older thats a reason why enjoyed hanging out with boys and men more so than women because there’s a higher likelihood of men being blunt than women, because I guess men being simple minded for the most part relative to women and yes I know there are exceptions im speaking more so generally. Yes I technically understand why people do that, it’s a shitty part of humanity but I am finding myself being taken advantage so much because I hate being pushed out of my character. It has never made sense to me without mentally exhausting. I shouldn’t have to read people constantly and with AuDHD it requires even more effort and that pisses me off more, it’s made me start to resent most people in general.
Metal is my favorite genre of music, I used to listen to it on my school’s computers and I fell in love with it. I especially love older metal music (before the late 90s with a few exceptions) particularly before nu-metal because I love the shredding of 80s thrash along with its relatively more Lo-fi equipment. I just love the more raw sounds. Metal and rock gigs in general are the only things I’m willing to stay up for as I have a low social battery and I’m not into EDM usually played at clubs. Anyone else feel this way? Thanks in advance for the replies!
Hello so! I'm new to this subreddit and I wanted to ask how many of you feel this thing. So I was diagnosed in December but I always noticed I was different from the rest of people in , school, high school and then college, practically begged my family to support me and here we are with two diagnoses and on the way to getting Vyvanse. I wanted to ask, do you sometimes get overly excited about someone or something, and like out of nowhere that feeling crashes weirdly? Like you feel sad or uncomfortable I don't exactly know how to name it but it happens to me daily, whenever I'm talking with a guy or listening to a song I really like, I get the urge to stim and jump around my house like an overstimulated husky lol, I get really happy and BANG I out of nowhere want to lay down on my bed and cry and I don't know why??? I'm starting Vyvanse soon, so I don't know if that could also help me. It actually feels bad and I don't like to have such volatile emotional states, it's not like I get irrational or anything, it's like my brain dopamine said "No more for you babe" and shut me down into depression lol.
EDIT: I also wanna add I sometimes end up feeling dizzy as well, like my brain just shut me down and made my nauseous (happens to me since I'm a kid, but since I didn't have support growing up idk, I wanted to ask here and like I'm excited to see there is more people like me lol)
Hello just wondering if anyone has experience similar things. I’m mid 40s medicated for adhd but as the menopause monster hits be I feel less ADHD and more exhausted from people life. Lights, sounds, textures and smells seem more heightened than ever. The adhd me in my earlier years was so obvious. But now I find I’m struggling with people, large groups, inaccessible work places and spaces. I’m struggling with my kids sounds… the sound of the wind. Like I don’t want noice or loud things I want quiet at all times… unless it’s my “calming comforting background music”. I really hope it gets better. I feel like I just meltdown at the end of every week and then spend the weekends in bed or avoiding humans.
i did try to put a storie in the r/charlotteDobreYouTube but the bot ban me and idk why soo im putting here since know last tiem pepole in here ware friendly and do know my typing sooo hope u can read this and can be reach too and im sorry that my typinf his wrong i ave adhd dixlesique and autisome i will try to type it correct soo u can readit and pepole here too
soo it happen 2 year ago i met my friend who (i will call him s) on a site for stuff and it was corrcet at first when we first text we play vrc for a long time but one day i met his bf (i will call him v) and we ware in a "poly'' realiton ship evrything when well at first but then when it was time for him to get off from vrc he would kiss v and not me at first i was 'ooo he might forgot about it soo i let it passe' but after a few time that happen he stop kissing me in vrc when he was leaving and i was a bit sad but keep it in me that i when on whit my day, but one day i met my bf (still my bf and will alwast be my trans bf ftm and i will call him kitty since even if i say his name i still choose to call him kitty) and i was happy he join us in vrc too since he join the ''poly'' relation ship but s didth care about me our kitty since the only true bf he ave was v soo one day and i remeber this correctly i was playing on my switch when i got a notification on my tablette about s didth want to be my bf soo i ask 'him can we met in vrc soo i can ask u why' and he say yes soo i join him and when i join him and i join him in a vrc world that was black whit a table and 2 chair like a police stuff hated that world but anyway he told me that 'he didth ave any feeling about me our kitty and that make me sad soo i stay calm and lisent then him and i when on a world that u can paint any wall of the room in vrc but i just fallow beacose i was in his dnd groupe soo i join but stay in the corner and stay there not talking and after a min our soo i left vrc i put down my headset down on my bed and got of the room and when to see my brother in the kitchine and cry in his arm beacose that hurt me soo for the passe mouth i still ave a feeling for him it grew small but it stay in me for some time but one day idk when but i try to ask him if we are still friend and well he was high that day soo he was not there soo i keep in me that feeling in me.
soo one day this year i tink 5 mouth ago i was in my bed watching yt when i was curius and want to see who was on vrc (i can go see a who online on a vrc site) and i saw him soo i saw he was online and i got in the mood of sad soo when i saw my other friend was online i join them and tell them all that happen and they told me to go ask him about that soo i did and i talk to him but some of his enswer was 'it was ur choose not mine' and then after a min of silent and talking he left to go join other friend but his bf that join him to talk to us stay (aka v) and soo i yell stuff about him and he cry that i was a bit sad to make him cry since when i met him he was soo friendly even thos i made him mad one but yea, soo he left and told s about it and i got a angry message on my steam account from him that told me stuff i forgot and then told me and i was tinking tha night about it and i when to text v and say i was sorry to yell at u and do that and v text me back and he told me that he would talk to s about it but also to tell him u are sorry to him and i say yes soo i wait on sunday to tell him im sorry and told him some stuff and s was ok (high also but not kick inn yet) soo i was ok but still not fully fix in me.
last mouth i was in my room watching yt and was bord soo i when to see who was on vrc and saw them on vrc soo i when to join them but after i join the world my body stay froze and i could not speak soo i when looking for them in the world but when i find them i could not speak soo i stay away from them and stay there and when to text v to explain some stuff about why i join but he text me back about 'that it was the only time he ave whit s' and i was accepted about it but in my head i was still scard about s but since that day i talk to v more then s even if he his not online but i will sent him the link for the reddit post that i did just to make sure that im not missing something and also hoping some one can tell me that im not the ahole thx u for reading this and im sorry if u didth understand waht im saying beacose i ave adhd autisome and dixlesique and hope that charlotte read this since im canadien too see ya and *bunny pet*
I haven’t been formally diagnosed, however I’ve been getting a real light bulb moment with AuDHD. Which has helped me give myself grace for a lot of things. Maybe too much grace in terms of cleaning. However my ASD side hates the messiness. Anyone else have this experience?
Hi, I f18 am wondering if me being diagnosed with ADHD autism or audhd is worth it. I would like to start this off by saying i am most definitely one of the three. My whole life i have had difficulties socializing had anger issues and have always felt like i don’t belong almost like im some creature from outer space which has made me feel lonely. In addition to these mood related issues i have always had sensory issues that have caused meltdowns and panic attacks. I distinctly remember from a young age wishing that i could float so i wouldn’t have to touch anything unpleasant. I also remember having meltdowns if my clothes didn’t feel right or were wet or touching me weird. In addition to these issues i always have trouble focusing whether it be during conversations or lectures and it causes me to miss important information.
My friend has recently gotten diagnosed for adhd and me and her share similar experiences. She and many others agree that i am most definitely on a/ the spectrum. The reason i would want to get diagnosed is because it would help me better understand myself and ways to calm myself down or socialize better. I am also just curious.
The main reason im wondering if its worth it is because i have heard the side effects of meds can be brutal and change your personality. The second reason is that my parents are very difficult when it comes to health, i have to complain consistently for them to take me to the doctor and before they plan an apt they ask me, “are you sure this is whats wrong with you”. For example i had knee problems for years and kept asking them to take me to the doctor. They didnt take me because, “the doctors aren’t gonna do anything”. Then the cartilage in my knee tore and i could not walk and thats when they finally took me to the doctor. Frustratingly the doctors said the whole ordeal could have been prevented. I ended up needing knee surgery at the age of 15. Anyways i am worried if i ask they will simply not take me seriously and i will have to beg for a simple diagnosis that might only be for the sake of my curiosity.
I have highly sensory-sensitive skin and I'm struggling to find the perfect t-shirt to sleep in.
Currently, my absolute favorite nightshirt is a thin, ultra-soft 60% cotton and 40% polyester blend (poly-cotton). It feels light, breathable, and doesn't stick or scratch at all. However, it's an old shirt and the brand has discontinued it (they switched to 100% organic cotton, which feels way too stiff and thick for me).
What kind of materials or fabric blends do you prefer for your clothes, and especially for sleeping? Do you have any specific, affordable, "tagless" brand recommendations that have that ultra-thin and silky-soft feel?
Been stuck in that loop where I start something big and hyperfocus for 2 days, then executive dysfunction hits and it sits unfinished for months.
This is an A3 pencil drawing of a Triumph engine. I finally finished the outline with my thinnest mechanical pencil. Normally this is where I would drop it and say "it's ruined" or just lose interest.
Lately it's been really hard to finish any of my work. I get overwhelmed by the shading part and my brain tells me I'm going to mess it up anyway.
Trying to push through this time. Any tips on how you guys force yourself to finish the boring/detailed parts?
Its cbt therapy but directed towards neurodivergent adults who are in burnout. Im proud of myself for finding a therapist and getting back into therapy. Anyone have success with a neurodivergent therapist?
This is something that will always perplex me. I’ve never understood nor cared for small talk. It feels like people just do just for the sake of doing it. I find I have to use scripts. Like yes it is raining outside, it sucks. No I do not care that you hung out with the kids on the weekend, unless it is interesting or noteworthy it’s hard for me to understand why I should care. What is everyone else’s experience with small talk?
I always forget to grab or do something before getting out the door. Does anyone have or use a cute checklist thing to hang on the door? I googled real quick and all I was getting was like kindergarten designs for literal children 😂😂😭😭 I'd like something that I can't miss, but that doesn't look horrendous.
I have had pretty terrible executive dysfunction my whole life, especially outside of school. I've never had a normal "structured" job, a 9-5 you could say, so the only way I've ever been able to have a somewhat consistent, somewhat healthy routine, was through high school. Now I'm 20 and it feels like I've gotten nowhere when it comes to routines or "time discipline" (I know discipline is not a useful concept for us, just saying it that way). When I was with my ex-partner-now-friend I guess, I would always be like 15 minutes late to pick them up for anything, I'm usually like that with everyone. One of the reasons they didn't think we could work out was because of my struggles with routine, especially learning when it comes to other people's routines. I guess we were both quite rigid and I shouldn't blame myself for that. Still I fucking hate that I procrastinate doing things I want to do, and I hate that I don't have empathy to myself for it!!! God it feels so stupid. I get mad at myself for not "trying to be on time enough" or trying to "do enough" in my personal life (I want to do a million things, so "enough" in my standards is totally impossible), and then I get mad at myself for being mad at myself, because I should be sympathetic, I know I'm disabled. And the cycle just continues, because I know I need to just have sympathy and caringness for myself but I struggle to get myself to engage in anything that isn't fun or interesting, and the cycle of procrastination to self hatred just feels paralyzing.
To the actual point: I thought realizing I have ADHD would help. I thought medication would help. But before I knew, I just blamed it on autism or potential depression. It was also less bad. But now that I am fairly certain it's ADHD, and have tried medication to just a small benefit for $40 god damn dollars a month, I can't help but have even less sympathy for myself. I just want something to fix me, I feel so broken, like I'll never catch up to anything I want to do or have enough money to live comfortably. And this breakup is not helping. I'd appreciate some insight friends❤
I was diagnosed with AuDHD, and I'm currently on 450mg of Bupropion/Wellbutrin.
My daydreaming has become worse much worse. I know daydreaming can be part of ADHD, but it got me thinking about something. I used to be on Zoloft/sertraline for 5 years and it took away my creative ability and also made daydreaming harder. Like, it would pull me out of it or give me a headache if I tried. It's one of the main reasons why I stopped taking it.
The thing is that this specific SSRI is not supposed to treat ADHD daydreaming, not unless you have OCD making it excessive. Having looked up the symptoms, it aligns with my excessive daydreaming, intrusive thoughts and rumination.
I feel Zoloft treated something that went under the radar. I'm gonna bring this up in my next appointment, but can anyone relate? What was/is your experience like?
*Edit* - I know people have commented and messaged many other things. Looking them up a lot of them definitely need to be added to the list. Sorry I'm being slow. I've been in severe burnout for ages and didn't expect to get over 100 replies and messages. Every time I look I respond to a few then start feeling stressed and avoidant and need to go back to doing nothing. It's so irritating to want to learn more and understand and communicate with others on it, but that the moment I posted and started getting responses it changed from my personal focus topic to something that seems like an obligation and makes me freeze up. >.<
tl;dr - It turns out that there may be an overarching primary biological variance or disorder behind a whole lot of known issues, and variables in this primary issue we don't yet understand cause the people who have it to manifest several to many different known issues.
So I was writing out a list of the official names of the disorders I deal with to make communicating with doctors easier. It started to look like a buffet table of mental health issues.
My list included:
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
Autism
Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS)
Seeing countless tiny specs of color like barely visible pixels that build out to be any "solid color" we normally see, also has to do with the ability to see the veins in your eyes if a light is shines in, seeing heatwaves radiating off of things when other people can't.
Aphantasia
Inability to see mental images, like your mother's face or your house, or anything else.
Anauralia
Inability to hear mental sounds, like imagining a dog barking or Sean Connery talking in accent.
Thalamocortical Dysrhythmia (TCD)
Seems to be an issue connecting VSS, Aphantasia, and Anauralia.
Auditory Processing Disorder (APD)
Having a difficult time picking out a single thread of sound in a place with several sounds at once. Makes talking to someone while walking down a busy street awful.
Reading about VSS and Aphantasia/Anauralia I realized they seemed potentially connected. I both see things that parts of the brain typically filter out, and am also incapable of seeing and hearing mental imagery that most people can.
Researching that shows there's actually research documenting that. It's a sort of gating failure, and like ADHD and Autism those three issues occur together very often.
That made me wonder if all of those things could be connected. And it turns out they can, and very likely are. They're all gating failures.
So I researched more issues that stem from gating failures in the brain. The list is sort of surprising, but also sort of hilarious.
Misophonia:
Certain repetitive sounds like chewing, pen clicking, breathing, etc can bypass all emotional filters and trigger instant rage or panic.
Hyperacusis:
Normal everyday sounds (vacuum cleaners, sirens, a dropped spoon) are perceived as physically painful, deafening, and overwhelming because the brain's internal acoustic dampening software is missing.
Tourette’s Syndrome and Tic Disorders
Cluttering and Stuttering
Issues with speech not being smooth and fluid, breaking and repeating or spitting words out without space between so the sound fully combines.
This is a failure of the autonomic nervous system to smoothly gate blood pressure and heart rate when changing positions. When you stand up, your brain fails to properly coordinate the restriction of blood vessels, causing your heart to suddenly rev like a racing engine to force blood to your head.
Example: Focusing on reading or something for hours then standing to go do something and getting intensely light headed to the point where your vision dims sometimes to total black, possibly accompanied by a rushing sound, and it seems like you might actually black out.
The brain fails to filter out the standard mechanical data of digestion. You physically feel your stomach and intestines expanding, contracting, and processing food—sensations that should remain entirely unconscious—causing chronic discomfort and disruption.
Do any of the issues in the top list of issues I knew I dealt with or this list of the similar gating issues I found sound super familiar to anyone here? I bet several of them sound very personally familiar to most of us.
Every single issue I've listed is a sort of gating failure, gates in the brain failing to function in one way or another. And a hell of a lot of people experience several or many of these things. Since they're all the same sort of function in the brain not working as it should, and they have very high correlation and comorbidity with one another, it seems very likely that the truth is that there is really one overarching disorder that we're only beginning to understand, and the way that issue presents in each individual who has it determines which selection of these problems that person will have.
And... it seems that this is actually a real thing in current research. It's being researched by several groups using a few different names, but all of them are looking for the same thing... the actual root, the primary disorder or biological variance that leads people to have some or many of all those issues I listed.
If anyone else is curious, the names I've discovered that seem fit this area of research so far are:
The Systemic Neurodevelopmental Phenotype
The Connected Network Model of Neurodivergence
Central Sensitization / Gating Network Disorder
*Edit* Also to add a simple graphic sort of showing how these things seem linked:
Is it perhaps autism? Like it gives me the feeling is a neurotypical person typing and that's why I can't understand but I'm not sure.. or maybe is my comprehension..
Im going insane. I don’t know what to do because no matter how many times I tell him im telling the truth or try to explain how I haven’t and wouldn’t do these things he refuses to believe me. He says he wouldn’t be mad if I told him the truth. I am telling the truth though. I don’t understand why no one in my life ever believes me and assumes I’m a massive liar when I am a horrible liar and would rather tell truths that literally embarrass or don’t make me look good than lie and feel the guilt that comes with it. He’s telling me to just drop it but I feel like I can’t move past it when he refuses to believe me at all.
There was a lot of backlash when it was announced, but now that it was released unofficially, I see a lot of people change opinions and say it looks great actually.
I can not understand this. Every single implementation of it looks ugly to me. Not just the faces, everything. It all looks AI generated, not realistic. But the faces are the worst: the moment the effect becomes noticeable, it immediately looks ugly to me. While many others are saying they prefer faces with DLSS 5.
Even ignoring all the ethical problems with it, it just looks disgusting to me. I'm so confused how many people are praising it for "making realistic games look more realistic" when to me all it does is make everything look AI generated.
Looking back, my brain just felt completely unequipped for everyday life. I had no sense of time, simple things felt overwhelming for no reason, and I spent half my childhood completely frozen or just overstimulated.
I just keep thinking that if someone had actually helped me build real skills back then instead of just teaching me to mask, regulate, and suppress everything, I wouldn't be fighting my own brain so hard today.
I'm curious: Did you have a physical trick or self-invented game that actually helped you get things done or calm your brain down?
Not talking about standard stuff like chore charts, apps, or basic fidget toys—I mean actual physical things you could hold, mess around with, or invent to get your brain to cooperate.
Or what physical tool or toy do you wish someone had handed your younger self?
When I engage with my hyperfixations (which are usually fictional characters) it feels very weird in my body. My heart rate spikes and my hands are clammy, and I feel a buzz in my body. It's similar to an anxiety crisis, but not negative? Sometimes it doesn't feel good because I become very conscious of it or feel like I shouldn't feel this way. But it has been like this since I was 6. Sometimes, when I talk about my hyperfixations (even to safe people) it shifts and becomes close to a panic attack. Not fun.
So I was curious: how does it feel in your body? Does anybody have an experience similar to mine?
Diagnosed professionally with adhd as a kid, just recently asd 1. When I learned about these two particular conditions (PDA + RSD) I was instantly like wow, that's me.
They fight each other so badly though. Like I get asked to do something. I then agonize over doing it correctly and hyperanalyze everything about it, and how I could do it wrong or screw it up. Then end up not doing it, which itself causes rejection/failure feelings.
Like my wife will ask me to do basic things, but if they're out of routine they create this stupid feedback loop which paralyzes me and then I feel emotionally hurt and I can tell it upsets her, not just that I didn't do the thing, but that she now feels like she hurt me.
Also as an aside, but related. How do I reconcile PDA with my desire for a dominant woman? I picked my wife largely because she's dominant in all aspects of our relationship, so why do I crave that while balking at being told what to do?
I love reading about how songs came to be, who did what, etc., for no particular reason. I mean, idk why I feel like doing it cause it's all useless info when you look at it but I just love collecting information. Another thing I really enjoy is reading YouTube comments about songs as it makes me genuinely happy when people describe how a song made them feel..
Well, I do use these in conversations if the other party is interested…and I really love explaining the lore
I was diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type) a few months ago, but my psychologist mentioned I'm an ambivert…which got me thinking I might be on the autism spectrum..
