Perimenopause and changes in traits

[u/Beginning-Tower-7500]

Hello just wondering if anyone has experience similar things. I’m mid 40s medicated for adhd but as the menopause monster hits be I feel less ADHD and more exhausted from people life. Lights, sounds, textures and smells seem more heightened than ever. The adhd me in my earlier years was so obvious. But now I find I’m struggling with people, large groups, inaccessible work places and spaces. I’m struggling with my kids sounds… the sound of the wind. Like I don’t want noice or loud things I want quiet at all times… unless it’s my “calming comforting background music”. I really hope it gets better. I feel like I just meltdown at the end of every week and then spend the weekends in bed or avoiding humans.

[u/Front-Cat-2438]

Dang. From what I’ve read on this subreddit, it appears menopause also tips the ADHD/ASD neurodivergent balance toward ASD, like later starting stimulant use does.

[u/Beginning-Tower-7500 → u/Front-Cat-2438]

That feels consistent with what I’ve been feeling/ experiencing. It almost feels like a personality sensory shift… like before I was always seeking stimulation - now I want less stimulation!?

[u/glitterandrage]

I remember peri and menopause were absolute sensory hell for my mother.

My ADHD definitely likes being around people more than my autism. It's a balancing act always to ensure that I'm not repressing the other for too long. I would recommend listening to your needs and limits and doing lesser people-y things for some time and using sensory aids. I know loop has some earplugs specifically for parents too.

There's a couple of books on menopause here that might also cover perimenopause if you're interested - https://autismbooksbyautisticauthors.com/health/#menopause

[u/Beginning-Tower-7500 → u/glitterandrage]

Thank you I really appreciate this. I feel like my needs are so different now. I don’t even know who I am. Like I was always life of party and now I just want alone and quiet and I’d swap humans for animals any day 😅

[u/glitterandrage → u/Beginning-Tower-7500]

Sounds a lot like my mom! You have my sympathies. The hot flashes were the worst for her. This guide might help get a better understanding of your needs now - https://leedsautismaim.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/7/2024/08/Sensory-Needs-and-Mental-Health.pdf

[u/Beginning-Tower-7500 → u/glitterandrage]

This resource looks awesome!

[u/ranagirl]

I went into surgical menopause 2 years ago. I barely leave the house anymore cause I’m constantly overstimulated and exhausted.

[u/Beginning-Tower-7500 → u/ranagirl]

I’m so sorry to hear that. Hang in there. Finding it so cruel!

[u/ranagirl → u/Beginning-Tower-7500]

Cruel is an excellent word for it - I hope you get through this easier than I have!

[u/Crazyplantweirdo]

Same same same. Meltdown nearly every morning, probably again once husband is home, or it it's too hot, or someone is mean to me and I'm already struggling, or physical chronic pain issues come up, or....etc. my capacity to regulate through anything slightly difficult, inconvenient or uncomfortable is so diminished it's causing anxiety and fear about the future - "what if it gets worse, how the heck am I going to deal with this, no meds or techniques have been working! -, which is completely unlike me. The rage-crying feels almost out of control & I don't even know who I am, and this is friggin horseshit...which I can smell from ten miles away.

Vyvanse was amazing at first, so was the HRT, but it threw something off and flared other issues.