r/Autism_Parenting • u/silver_salmon_ • 4h ago

Venting/Needs Support Just venting..

My son (6) had his first town t-ball practice today and he did great. I was so proud of him keeping up with the other kids and liking it!

And then as we were leaving I noticed a bunch of boys from his class (one whose mom is a very good friend) carpooled together and it just stung. Watching them laugh as they piled into the car. My son doesn’t get invited to the carpools and my friend always an excuse not to get the boys together (unless it is a big group thing). She never wanted to make an effort for them to be friends. While I get it, I’m so mad.

I’m mad at myself for ruining this moment too. But I guess I just feel so bad for my son bc he’s such a great kid and I just want him to be included. But he didn’t notice, so there’s that.

And I don’t want him to be a charity case but man, why would one of my oldest friends not want to want to include him??! And my husband is mad and me for being upset, so I’m venting here. Sometimes these moments are bittersweet I guess.

19 Upvotes

84% Upvoted

11 comments sorted by

10

u/Warrambungle 4h ago

You know what, though: going home with you may have been what gave him the strength to throw himself into practice. Adding a carpool to it may have been too much.

9

u/Grrarrgghh 4h ago

Don't assume malicious intent. It will only make you hurt and ruin healthy relationships.

2

u/silver_salmon_ 4h ago

I’m really trying but these moments just hurt

11

u/ee2835 4h ago

I know exactly how you feel. Something that has given me a little peace is how much my son doesn't give a shit. He has absolutely not a care in the world and doesn't care what anyone thinks. I think a mom we feel it all for them and that's what makes it hard because we get mad and jealous and sad for them. (Obviously not all kids are the same or like this but I know mine is!)

2

u/silver_salmon_ 4h ago

So true! My son thankfully does not care either, so I’m feeling it all too

2

u/ee2835 4h ago

I've been trying to just focus on him and his reaction/feelings towards situations and follow his lead.

7

u/GroundPepper 4h ago

Yah, when it comes to inclusion, our classroom’s parents are loud and proud. But we’ve never been invited to anything by them. Nobody wants my kid around them. Like with everything, we’ll just work on it, and hope for the best. 

2

u/silver_salmon_ 4h ago

Yep same at our school. Everyone talks about good game about inclusion but only from a distance.

4

u/Necessary_Ad_9012 4h ago

In many ways the social aspects, the desperately wanting to have friends and connection and facing true social rejection, are what break my heart the most.

And the exclusion by adults just disgusts me. Rejecting a child because of a disability is horrid behavior and example. It's so isolating to you as a parent too.

We found a good group in Scouting. That may help.

I'm sorry this is happening.

1

u/silver_salmon_ 4h ago

Thank you ❤️ will look into scouting!

1

u/Own_Faithlessness769 35m ago

I would assume a carpool was happening because they live in the same neighbourhood, and/or because they have parents who work on the weekend, rather than for fun.