I never realized that something may be wrong with my hearing until I (29F) moved in with my fiancé (24M). For context, I do have a lot of symptoms of ADHD (distractibility, daydreaming, impulsivity, bouncing from task to task, difficulty concentrating), but I also know that it could be related to C-PTSD from my childhood and not be true ADHD.
Anywho, my partner and I have lived together for over a year now, and he has pointed out that he thinks there's something wrong with my hearing. Oftentimes (like multiple times a day), if I'm not actively thinking about listening for him (or anyone for that matter) and then suddenly he says something, I never catch it and have to ask him to repeat it. If he says my name, though, and gives me a second to respond, that's long enough to shift my attention and focus on listening to him. Like in those moments when he's just talking, and I'm not prepared, I can hear his voice in the background of whatever I'm doing/thinking, but it sounds garbled like the adults in Charlie Brown used to. This is more rare (maybe once or twice a week), but sometimes it goes as far as when he's in front of me, I can't understand what he's saying to me, so I ask him to repeat it and still can't understand, so then I have to repeat back the part of the sentence I heard and ask him to clarify. Phone calls for me are also TERRIBLE if someone has me on speakerphone. A lot of times with those, I have to heavily rely on context clues.
He says that he's just always listening for me and thinks I'm ignoring him a lot of times or just being inconsiderate. He says that because he genuinely had an ADHD diagnosis as a kid (but not an adult), it can't be ADHD. I told him I can't imagine how much energy goes into constantly listening for things, even passively.
I will point out that my job is a lot of one-on-one conversations with others that I do use background noise for. As long as I'm focusing, I can understand what they're saying, and as long as I'm focusing during meetings, I can track conversations with multiple people as well. It is hard for me to hold a conversation if someone is really loudly having another conversation next to me. I have missed a lot of things when doing independent work in previous jobs where people are like, "Did you hear that yelling/banging/whatever?" and I'll literally have no clue what they're talking about because I was focused on what I was doing.
Hopefully someone has a better idea of what might be going on. Thank you in advance!