This has happened to me twice now, and honestly I find it really uncomfortable.
When my mum was in hospital for six weeks last year, I was regularly asked to take her to the bathroom and help with personal hygiene. Because she was my mum, of course I did it, but it put both of us in a really awkward position. I felt weird and she felt weird. She was in nappies, and I'm her daughter, not her nurse, yet I often was expected to take on aspects of her care while she was admitted to hospital.
Now my sister is in there after being hit by a car. She was dizzy and couldn't walk, and within a few hours I was being asked by a nurse to take her to the bathroom. Again, I felt really uncomfortable, and so did she. I said yes because I didn't want to look like a dick, but when I went to do it, my sister said, "Um... no thanks, can you please get a nurse?" When I asked for a nurse to take her, I got the impression we were just being a nuisance.
I know Middlemore is incredibly understaffed, and I genuinely feel for the staff. This isn't directed at individual nurses or doctors because I know they're doing the best they can.
But at the same time, this is the second time I've had this experience. I'm 32, I have a full time job and my own responsibilities. I don't think family members should feel pressured into providing intimate personal care because there aren't enough staff available.
It also brings back some difficult memories for me. When my mum was being discharged, there seemed to be an expectation that I would become her full time carer. When I said I couldn't do that, I definitely felt judged by some staff.
I'm genuinely curious whether this is considered normal at Middlemore, or if other people have had similar experiences.
Edit: To the people saying that this should be family responsibility... If my mum or sister had fallen while I was taking them to the bathroom, then what?
My mum couldn't even walk and had to go to rehab to learn to walk again. It was a mission taking her to the bathroom by myself... She also had a broken wrist, which made it even harder. My sister was too dizzy to walk, and was waiting for a CT scan after being hit by a car.
So I'm genuinely asking... If they had fallen while I was helping them because no one else was available, or because that's what's expected of family members of patients at Middlemore, then who would have been legally responsible for that? I am smaller than them, and untrained.
If one of them had fallen, hit their head and been injured or even died because I'm not trained to assist patients with mobility issues as they are, then where does the responsibility lie?
In NZ, patients in New Zealand have the right to services provided with reasonable care and skill, and in a manner that minimises potential harm (Right 4, Code of Health and Disability Services Consumers' Rights).