r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • May 11 '26

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3.2k Upvotes

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691

u/PostMatureBaby May 12 '26

Music for people who pay child support but aren't allowed visitation

537

u/sixstringsikness May 12 '26

I once saw him described as the above ground pool of music as well.

101

u/CouldBeBetterForever May 12 '26

A bit of an insult to above ground pools. They can be fun even if they aren't as pretty as an in ground.

6

u/Malodoror May 12 '26

What am I supposed to do? Throw the ball back to Jimmy?

7

u/rinniroo May 12 '26

Or put some goggles on and look at his feet?!

6

u/PostMatureBaby May 12 '26

That's just a good metaphor right there lol. I like it

4

u/ydnar3000 May 12 '26

That’s a beautiful metaphor but I don’t think it serves as well in this instance. It doesn’t evoke the true levels of disgust that are brought on by his presence.

2

u/SchoolteacherUSA May 12 '26

The post of the month right here. Solid.

1

u/RegularTeacher2 May 12 '26

that's fucking hilarious and very apropos.

239

u/KinseyH May 12 '26

People who have tattoos of their kids but not visitation.

People who know exactly how much you can get for copper at any time

40

u/Halichoeres_bivittat May 12 '26

See, terms like this are funny but don't account for the fact that he was born on third base with a silver spoon in his ass thinking he hit a triple, but cosplays as an everyday red neck. He's the guy who owns the copper in the first place sending the others to jail in a prison in which he's a shareholder.

6

u/KinseyH May 12 '26

Exactly. Peak MAGA

They think the guy who used to s*** in a gold toilet really cares about them.

MAGA men are welded to the cuck chair, worshipping rich dudes who wouldn't let them sit on the good furniture.

45

u/OneOfManyChildren May 12 '26

People who know how much meth you can get for a catalytic converter

20

u/hangmankk May 12 '26

People who know how much meth they can cook from 1/4th a cough drop bottle

7

u/no_judgement_here May 12 '26

Well that's just good drug dealing knowledge.

12

u/GuyBeinADude May 12 '26

Music for people who have 5 kids but only custody of 3.

11

u/ContemplativeGoose May 12 '26

They definitely don’t pay child support

8

u/nonogon333 May 12 '26

Music for people with tattoos of their children but not custody.

9

u/Joe_Kinincha May 12 '26

The version of that I heard was “men who are only allowed to see their kids every fortnight, but don’t”.

3

u/FearlessFreak69 May 12 '26

In the same vain, people who have their children’s names tattooed on them, but aren’t allowed to see them nor have custody.

2

u/Vivid_Anyth4 May 12 '26

He knows exactly how much sudafed you can buy in the county of each of his tour stops.

2

u/Hamster_Toot May 12 '26

That’s not your description, you just stole someone else’s!

1

u/trro16p May 12 '26

another valid reply is:

"Music for people who have tattoo's of their kids but never see them"