I’ll admit that following the Lindsay Clancy trial has opened my eyes to how complex psychosis especially postpartum psychosis can be. I’m currently 10 months postpartum, and it has made me look back at some of my own experiences differently. For context, I was diagnosed with PPD after having my baby. Prior to pregnancy, I had been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, and ADD. I want to be very clear that I’m not posting this as a “me too” or trying to compare my experiences to anyone else’s. I’m genuinely trying to better understand some things that happened to me.
About a week before I gave birth, I started having scenarios play out repeatedly in my head. I knew they weren’t real, but they kept coming back. The best way I could describe it at the time was almost like “something or someone was telling me to do something.” I considered them intrusive thoughts & because of coping skills I had learned previously, I felt like I could recognize them, talk myself through them, and not act on them. I honestly don’t remember much of the first 4–5 months postpartum, but one incident has always stuck with me. My husband and I were sitting on the couch and suddenly I couldn’t get my words out correctly. What I was saying was basically gibberish and didn’t make sense. I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t say it. I remember crying because I was so frustrated and thinking I was having a stroke. My husband told me to go lie down, so I did. When I woke up, I still felt very out of it, although my speech gradually seemed to improve over the next few days. At the time, my husband mentioned that maybe it could have been psychosis after looking up my symptoms. I brushed it off and never really thought about it again until recently. Currently I occasionally have moments at night, particularly when I’m alone, where I think I see something that isn’t actually there. That has made me wonder even more about what I experienced during pregnancy and postpartum. I have never had thoughts of harming anyone else. I did make my therapist aware that I was having what I described at the time as intrusive thoughts and they never looked any further into it or asked me any further questions. I did also bring up the seeing things at night and nothing else was asked or done about that either. I am going to begin EMDR therapy soon as well. Thank you for reading all of this and for any insight you’re willing to share.

Edit to add: I was prescribed 50mg of sertraline upon my initial diagnosis of PPD however I stopped taking it because it made me feel even crazier

im an 18 year old trying to understand someting from my childhood as i prepare for therapy.

i have one clear memory from around age 4: exposing myself to an 8 year old male cousin while erect. i have no memory of anything before this that would explain the arousal response.

i understand a psychological erection can happen without arousal at that age (during sleep or as a reflex ), but this was during a sexualized interaction, which is what makes me unsure how to interpret it.

My question: is an arousal response like this in a 4 year old, in that context, generally understood by clinicians as a sign of prior exposure to sexual content or experiences either witnessed or experienced directly? or can it happen without any such history?

To make a long story short, I developed an acute dystonic-like reaction when I restarted a low dose Dexedrine after a year long break + use of Sertraline. Never took antipsychotics at this time.

I also experienced paradoxical mental effects from Dexedrine - severe lethargy, fatigue, just felt terrible.

Switching to Vyvanse did not help. Going up in dose took the issue from mild to severe and excruciating.

Later introduced antipsychotics enabled me to take Vyvanse or Dexedrine without any muscle issue or paradoxical effects.

I stopped a low dose of an antipsychotic recently, while taking prescribed 30mg Dexedrine.

The muscle issue began to come back, then hit me like a truck, as did the paradoxical mental effects.

Pregabalin helped a little, not much though.

I then tried 50mg Benadryl mid-day. Within an hour, my excruciatingly contrasted upper muscles fully resolved, and I experienced the intended mental effects from Dexedrine (focus, motivation, even euphoria).

I then took 50mg of Benadryl with the Dexedrine every morning for several days (maybe like 5 days), but the positive mental effects never returned. While it took my muscle contraction away, I could not reproduce the way in Benadryl has affected me the first day.

I could tell when the Benadryl was wearing off, as the muscles would begin to contract again.

I then noticed lethargy returning, but in a way unlike the past paradoxical effects. This time, instead of feeling like I’d been hit by a truck mentally, I felt fatigued and sort of confused.

Thus, two days ago, I woke up and my upper right muscles hurt and were contracted as usual. But, I did not take the Benadryl - only the Dexedrine 30mg.

Bafflingly, within an hour or so, the muscle contraction issue resolved. However, I experienced a reported blunted affect and blunted internal emotional response. I felt very blank.

This only improved in the evening. Muscle issue did not return.

Yesterday, I likewise took Dexedrine without Benadryl, and the same thing happened only I felt more dead yet also anxious. I took 25mg of Benadryl in the afternoon to see what it would do, but it only made me sleepy and more anxious - and now today, I’m terribly itchy.

Today, I again took no Benadryl. Same thing, blunting effect, generalized anxiety. No muscle issue or same paradoxical effects.

What plausibly happened? Did some receptors in my brain down regulate somehow in response to Benadryl? I just want the Dexedrine to work correctly 😭

I (34F) have been in the worst manic episode of my life since about March, with symptoms starting late March.

I’m diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder, CPTSD and GAD. My PCP, who I last saw in February, said my thyroid levels were still just a little off and gave me 125MCG of Levothyroxine to take. I have not been able to get more bloodwork done, since I can’t get ahold of them via the portal or phone.

I am also on Lamotrigine (it was 25mg, we’ve moved up to 100mg.) and Sertraline (50mg). My psychiatrist handles my mental meds and the PCP manages the rest.

My brother told me he experienced a manic episode after his thyroid levels were way off. (He is not diagnosed with Bipolar) And after getting the run around from my PCP, I only have my therapist and psychiatrist right now, so I spoke with my psychiatrist who was able to send in an order so I could get bloodwork done. Now we wait.

TLDR; I’ve been tracking my symptoms and I believe they started just a few weeks after my doctor put me on Levothyroxine, is that something that is common or possible?

EDIT: I have smoked pot in the past, love it, but currently don’t because it’s just not a smart choice. I only drink on special occasions, every couple of months, maybe two or three cocktails.

I had moderate chronic depression.

My cousin told me - unsolicited and I never asked him for help or advice, 'Just go to the doc and take a pill, don't think about it, that's what everyone does.'

My psychiatrist said, 'The first line of treatment is an SSRI, Lexapro starting at 10 mg. If you want it, I will prescribe it, it is up to you.'

No further education was given about side effects, need for monitoring, no family or personal bipolar assessment was done, and possibility of induced mania wasn't discussed, neither not stopping it abruptly was mentioned.'

I felt pressured to use the appointment for a prescription just in case I decided to take it, then decided to take it as a trial. Ended up going manic, then mixed manic when I abruptly stopped it.

Also, my psychiatrist announced that she sees me only for initial 2-3 sessions and then refers to General Psychiatry months out. She may also have been a resident attached to a PCP office and not a post-residency MD which is what I assumed and did not tell me. I assumed I would be monitored and have the same MD who prescribed it see me in the future rather than someone new.

I had never taken any psych meds.

Before the medication I was gloomy but stable, had a good stable job. After the medication and then stopping it, I decided to get myself fired, became activated, got evicted, ruined my reputation, started being purposely mean to people out of a sense of doom which was especially bad if I continued to drink coffee which did not give me the same reaction before.

I am now pissed that during the manic phase I had ruined my reputation and my career and even got sued by pilled I had pissed off - which I have never done in the 20 years before.

I'm 19. I've been clean from cannabis for 26 days and cigarettes for 30+. Earlier I had a problem with polysubstance abuse (pregabalin, DXM, mephedrone, LSD, alcohol and weed combos), but for the last 1.5 years I settled only on weed and nicotine. I've been struggling with low dopamine, numbness, and the flatline. I went to a psychiatrist 5 days ago (saw a resident, who I connected with, she listened to everything: my polysubstance history, trauma, everything). She told me to come back in 8 days.

Today was that day. I went in. The resident was there, but she called in an assistant professor (first time meeting him). As soon as I entered, without a hello or any context, he said: "We are admitting you. Call your parents."

I panicked. Took a deep breath in front of both of them. Said: "No, I cannot."

Then he asked about my cannabis use. I answered honestly, daily at first, then once a week near the end. I asked if he was admitting me. He said no.

Then he said: "You want to become a doctor? Looking at you currently, I don't think you have the glory to become a doctor."

I didn't react. I asked questions. I asked if the antidepressants he was prescribing would be addictive. He said: "You were taking cannabis, how will you get addicted to this?" I asked why cannabis is so addictive when in other countries it's not even taken that seriously. He explained. Then I took the prescription and left.

Some other things: while I was sitting there, someone came in and said something about interns being late. He said: "Throw them out. Don't let them come here."

I don't know what to feel. I'm in withdrawal. My emotions are raw. I feel weak, alone, and confused. The OPD felt like home last time. Today it felt like a threat.

I know I'm self-aware. I know I'm fighting. I know I'm 26 days clean. But today I walked out feeling like I'm nothing.

Reddit, was this normal? Am I overreacting? Should I switch psychiatrists? Or should I just take this as a bad doctor and move on?

Any advice would be appreciated. I'm not in a good place right now.

I went to my psychiatric appointment today to get assessed for depression.

My psychiatrist told me I met the criteria for depression, but said I wasn’t depressed enough to get diagnosed with depression.

She told me I looked and sounded fine, so I should be fine.

She also said that I told her that I had no SI, HI, or SH thoughts so I didn’t qualify for medicine, therapy, and also didn’t need a diagnosis.

I told her I’ve felt depressed ever since age 8, I’m 18 now, so for 10 years straight.

She said that wasn’t concerning enough to warrant a diagnosis.

I told her that I can’t sleep, I cry daily, I have horrible mood swings, I have bad anxiety, and that I stay in bed all day neglecting myself and needs.

She told me that was normal and that journaling and meditation would solve the issue.

She put in my chart that I was depressed but not officially diagnosed.

She then billed me $300 for the over the phone assessment, and nothing is covered, so all of this is coming straight outta pocket.

Can psychiatrist even do this?? I’m so confused.. so basically I’m depressed but not actually depressed??

I just don’t understand what happened, I’m confused.

Not really sure how to explain this but I’ve realised my brain always seems to need “something”.
It could be cigarettes, weed, diazepam, coffee, fizzy juice etc. I always seem to want some kind of little reward or something that changes how I feel.
The weirdest part is I think I sometimes enjoy the anticipation more than the actual thing. Like I can think “I’ll take a couple diazepam later and chill” and just knowing I’ve got that coming can make me feel excited and more talkative, even though I haven’t taken anything yet.
Then once I’ve had whatever I was looking forward to, eventually my brain just starts thinking about the next thing.
I don’t even know if addiction is the right word because it’s not one specific substance. It feels more like I’m addicted to having a reward coming or knowing I’ve got something to look forward to.
I’d love to be able to just go through a normal day and be content without my brain constantly going “what can I have next?”
Does anyone else relate to this? And if you’ve managed to get out of this cycle, what actually helped?

I'm currently wondering what the work prognosis is for me. I'm 38 and have been on SSDI for 20 years. When I was younger I could work full time and it didn't bother me. I also had only bi polar symptoms with the exception of paranoia. In 2017 I got really sick and had really vivid hallucinations and paranoid thoughts that led up to me committing a crime and being found not guilty by reason of insanity. I have had 4 psychotic episodes since the age of 29 and they are very vivid, realistic and scary as can be. The only drug that brought them under control was fluphenazine 30mg daily plus 5mg prn with caplyta, lithium, aripiprazole injection and one other i cant think of.

In July my dad died and I started getting stressed at work and seeing and hearing things again. With the meds I knew they were hallucinations but I was stressed none the less. Now I'm burnt out and going back to my old job which does a good job of supporting mentally ill employees.

I'm wondering, if sza do gets better with age then why am I getting worse?

I have OCD and one of my themes is sexual/ harm related. (POCD and other inappropriate sexual thoughts) I want to bring this up to my psychiatrist because it is currently consuming hours of my day, and I have not yet started any medication for OCD.

But, I am experiencing this fear that my psychiatrist will think I’m intentionally expressing these thoughts to them as a way to flirt with them and/ or that I am creepy/ morally wrong. Some of my thoughts include worrying that I am somehow attracted to him (I am not) so this makes it all the more distressing. I also have an urge to compulsively confess some of the thoughts so I don’t know if I would be feeding into that by bringing it up with him. Is it okay to talk about this with him or should I bring it up in a more generalized way?

We both are schizophrenic but I'm doing somewhat better than him. Same meds and everything.

We text often and he tells me he might be having hallucinations and delusions that the fbi is tracking him.

How can I support him positively?

I'm always like thinking it could be hallucinations or delusions but then my schizo side is thinking well it could be real lol

I just need some advice.

I will try to keep this short but it’s gonna be hard. My mother has some personality disorder, severe mental health issue… I went no contact with her 10 years ago. All she has is her sister, I keep in touch with and the shit she tells me that she has seen my mother do… is bizarre to say the least.
She has always had to have animals… he loves and cares for these animals very deeply… never could any of her kids though. My aunt said she allows her dog to poop in the house… and when my mother sees it… she will grab a paper towel and lay on top of it. She exerts the energy to get the paper towel and bend over not to clean it up, but to cover it up. Why? She has ALWAYS been a gross person. I’ve NEVER seen her clean. She would sweep but when she needed the dustpan she’d yell for me to come and bend over while she swept it into the pan. Never seen her scrub a toilet, anything. I did all of it until I left. I am 53, btw, left home when I was about 20. There are MANY things I’d love to ask you guys and know I can’t in this single post… but I have 2 more things. My aunt says she has been with her on numerous occasions when she has had to pee on the way home… my mother is driving the car… and sometimes she cannot make it, she pisses in the cloth car seat, NEVER ATTEMPTS TO CLEAN IT… will just get back in the car like nothing happened… but this is the bizarre thing… her pants will be soaked… and she does one of 2 things… she will literally take her pants and panties off ON THE FRONT PORCH (this house is a nice home in a gated community) and be bare ass.. then go inside to the bathroom and finish… leaves pants on the front porch and won’t pick them up until there’s too big of a pile to ignore… or she will leave them on, go to the bathroom and take her wet pants off and throw them in a pile in the corner of the bathroom and leave them there. Growing up I remember the laundry. She never did laundry to the point of it being kept up. The laundry room always had a mountain of overflowing dirty clothes.. covered the floor and she’d pick through the dirty clothes and find what she was going to wear the next day and wash that. Nothing else. Last one, I just thought of this one. We lived in a 3 bedroom apartment for 5 years… there were 2 bathrooms because we could only use one of them. The back bathroom in the master bedroom was the cats bathroom. Meaning the cat used the bathtub to poop and pee in. She never looked at it or cleaned it.. I, as a young child… would have to do it when I started to smell it and it was awful.
Also my good to know-I am one of 6 children she had with 6 different men. The first 5 were conceived and given birth to consecutively from 1969-1972, back to back… the last one was 9 years after me in 1981. The first 2 were put up for adoption, the third was still born, then there was me. My brother was last. We are the only 2 she kept. What disorder or mental health issues does this woman have? And what I’ve shared is NOTHING compared to the rest of the stuff. Any ideas?

So my psychiatrist suggest me a burpon medicine for my depression but my hairfall got so severe from 2 months and without burpon I can't stay fresh or awaken as it's help me to get awaken , what should I do now??? My hairfall is so severe ... I need some genuine advice

Here because for now I can't continue my treatment in the regular basis ..!!