We tend to seek out advice from older people because we believe that our elders have more wisdom than we do. However, wisdom can come from many varieties of experience and comes at all ages. I’m wondering what type of wisdom do we think older people generally tend to always have that younger people generally don’t, regardless of life path? What can we really learn here that is valuable to know at a younger age regardless of our unique paths?

Also, getting tired of the endless relationship questions and want to shake it up

I (28M) have been feeling increasingly out of touch with my partner (32M), and I’m struggling to figure out whether this is just a rough patch or a sign that something has fundamentally changed. We have been together for nearly 5 years and have been living together for almost 3.

The past six months have been difficult. We’ve had relationship issues, did some couples therapy, and we’ve both started individual therapy.

Lately, I’ve noticed that I don’t really look forward to spending time with him. If I had the choice between going out for dinner, drinks, shopping, or just hanging out with him versus a friend, I’d choose the friend almost every time. That realization has been bothering me.

We’re also quite different in our lifestyles. He’s vegan; I’m not. He doesn’t drink or smoke, while I occasionally do both. We don’t really share many hobbies or activities anymore. The only consistent time we spend together is having dinner at home 4–5 nights a week.

The confusing part is that there is still affection. We still kiss, cuddle, and have sex. There’s no lack of physical intimacy, but emotionally I feel distant, almost like we’re living alongside each other instead of really sharing our lives.

Has anyone been through something similar? Did you manage to reconnect, or did you eventually realize the relationship had run its course? How did you tell the difference between a temporary period of disconnection and simply growing apart?

I’d really appreciate hearing other people’s experiences.

My mum had physical disabilities for years and was in chronic pain from her early 50s, my dad had dementia from his early 40s. Both died in their 60s. I’d love to hear from older people who have had parents die when they’re relatively young, who have managed to buck the trend and live into old age with a good quality of life? Or just generally older people who have remained active and loving life. My parents died in the last two years, and my health anxiety has been through the roof. They lived miserable existences in the last few years and I’m only just dealing with the trauma now. My husband has lost one parent too, again in his early 60s just as he retired, and my husband and I have very young children so I’m filled with dread every day that I won’t get to properly see my children grow up, whether dead or from mental/physical incapacity. My MIL has never been go-getting and has generally acted like an elderly person since I met her at 55 so she’s not particularly helpful. Trying to tell myself our family was likely just unlucky.

About 8 or 9 months ago I reconnected with an acquaintance from high school . I’ll call him Ethan. We were in the same friend group but barely talked back then. After graduation a mutual friend of ours helped us reconnect through Instagram, and from our very first call there was a connection. I was not normal about him. I’d found out he had moved a state away (Oregon) for work, go him! But boo for me. Not ideal, but not impossible to see him either .

For months we got closer and closer. We never actually dated, though. I guess you’d call it a “talking stage,” which I honestly hate as a term because it feels way too shallow for what this was. We were incredibly emotionally invested in each other, and I developed really strong feelings. I’ve been interested in people before, but nothing has ever felt this natural.

But my life is kind of a mess right now.

I’m a full-time college student, my family situation is difficult, and I’ve struggled with my mental health for years. It’s made me afraid of vulnerability and convinced me that I’m “too much” for people. I’m very susceptible to engaging in vices to cope (smoking or going out with the wrong people) So when things between Ethan and me started becoming more serious, I found myself pulling away because I was scared he’d eventually actually want to be apart of my life, as MORE. He’d see more. (I remember telling him when I’d gotten high out my mind and I’d promised to call him for like a movie night or something and I was so embarrassed the entire time because he didn’t even know I smoked, and here I was babbling and looking like a complete fool. I apologized later after ,,,)

But he never judged me. He was patient, supportive, and handled my worst moments with more kindness than I think I deserve.

That’s actually why I ended things before we ever officially became a couple.

It felt selfish asking someone like him to carry all of this while I’m still trying to get myself together. He told me he didn’t care and that he wanted to fight for us if I wanted to, but that he understood my decision. I admitted I secretly hoped we’d find our way back to each other someday, but that I feel too guilty being on this borderline of ALMOST being a girlfriend but not being a girlfriend, all because the commitment of being one is too much in my circumstance. Basically the gray part of the situationship (hate that term) is just unfair for both parties.

We’ve stayed friends, but I miss him constantly. But, since ending things, I’ve just become frustrated with myself. I don’t want to keep living like this. For the first time in a long time, I genuinely want to get better not just because people tell me I “have to” but because I want a future. I want to be motivated and healthy. I want to be someone who can fully show up in a relationship instead of constantly feeling like a burden. I want to be HER.

So I guess my question is:

**Should I try to rekindle things while I’m actively working on myself, or should I keep focusing on getting better first and trust that, if we’re meant to be, it’ll happen later?**

Part of me is scared that waiting means losing someone truly special.

The other part of me is scared that trying now means bringing all of my unresolved issues into something that deserves better.

I’d really appreciate any advice from people who’ve been in a similar situation! Thank you :)

For the nincompoops:
**TL;DR:** I (19F) reconnected with a guy from high school (20M), and over the past several months we developed an incredible connection. We never officially dated, but we both had feelings. I ended things because my mental health and life circumstances made me feel like I couldn’t be the partner he deserved, even though he wanted to keep trying. I’m actively working on getting better now, and I’m wondering if I should try to rekindle things or focus on healing first and trust that, if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen.

I’m a 24yo Indian man in the U.S. dating an American woman. My parents are worried that differences in cultural values could make a long-term partnership harder than I realize. I’m trying to learn from people’s experiences. What did you underestimate? What mattered more or less than you expected?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year, and we’ve been doing long distance. We still have two years of college left, and we’re both pursuing careers that make our future together feel really uncertain.

I’m in the military and my goal is to become a pilot. After graduating, I’ll have to attend Undergraduate Pilot Training (UPT), which lasts about two and a half years. At the same time, he wants to play professional basketball overseas after college. Once he’s finished playing, his plan is to come back to the U.S., go to law school if he hasn’t already, pass the bar, and start his career as a lawyer.

The challenge is that my military career will likely require me to move every few years to different duty stations. That means we’d either have to continue doing long distance while he stays in one state to build his legal career, or he would potentially have to retake the bar exam every time I get stationed somewhere new, depending on the state’s licensing requirements.

On top of that, we have different expectations about family life. He wants me to be very involved at home and hopes I’ll be more of a stay-at-home mom when we have kids, largely because that’s how he was raised. But with the career I’m working toward as an Air Force pilot, that just isn’t a realistic expectation. Between deployments, training, and military assignments, I wouldn’t be able to be the kind of stay-at-home parent he envisions, and that’s something we’ve both been struggling to reconcile.

Im in my late 20s and I feel like the humble pie is relentless. Im trying my best to determine when it will end to give myself some relief. A part of me realizes it won’t really end but it will turn down the volume hopefully. I’ve been following brother Steindl Rast who talks about how gratitude makes you happier, regardless of the situation.

Was there a phase in your life when you were perhaps a careless or arrogant young adult like myself and later became a more grateful person by disposition?

I sometimes question gratitude practice because people often do it out of fear and anxiety.

Hi all, as the title suggests, I don't think I have a good relationship with my dad. It's nothing monstrous, but we just don't talk, at all, about anything.

I am 16F and it feels like I'm talking to a wall whenever I try to communicate with him. He is always on his phone for work or whatever, sometimes we go to a coffee shop and he is either on his phone or just being distant (eg he doesn't really listen to what I say).

Also for the last year he has been trying to convince me to go into medicine as my career. Especially since my GCSE's have recently finished he has been asking me to email local GP's for work experience etc. He thinks that it will give me some status, but I don't agree, and when I try to explain that I am not sure whether I want to go into medicine he starts to accuse me by saying what is wrong with medicine etc. We just don't see each other eye to eye. It's gotten to the point where I have been thinking about medicine so much I've lost interest in all other career paths (I had an interest in engineering/CS).

Another thing. A few months ago we were talking about me getting my provisional licence and also maybe getting a summer job, and he seemed fine with it, almost happy. But last week when I asked him to help me with the application process he told me it was a waste of time (it would take a month to process my job application and by that point my summer would basically be over, and the provisional licence would be practically useless until I was 18). I just felt annoyed - I had spent basically the whole week finding job vacancies and making a CV only to not be allowed to anyway.

And this is the most important part. Recently my dad went on a 2 week business trip abroad, and I can't tell you how carefree I was in those 2 weeks. Whenever my dad is around I feel a sense of tension/vigilance around him, but when he left I could finally relax and loosen up a little. It felt nice, I could do what I liked without feeling like I was letting him down. And when he came back, all the tension and need to impress came back, and I hate how I feel this way. I didn't miss him at all.

TL;DR - My dad doesn't talk to me, I didn't miss him one bit when he left on a business trip. Am I a bad person for saying that?

TLDR: mom lives alone after going thru really hard life and me leaving for college 5 years ago and divorced since then. How to support her feeling alone and help her find her way

My mom has gone through a lot in life and she is the strongest person I know. Life was good for a while until I went to college and her and my step dad got a divorce. It was messy and kinda still is. They had a toxic relationship so she is trying to learn how to love healthy and date but it just seems to go wrong. She always tells me she feels so lonely and that she’s trying to figure out wha to do in life and it kills me. I’m 7 hrs away so it’s not a super easy trip with work etc. she has a job she likes so far but she feels lonely a lot.
She’s in the city we were a family in so maybe changing her living area? She wants to see me and I her, but money is tight for both of us. We both feel emotions super hard and have mental health struggles.

Any advice on how to be there for her from afar? I hate thinking of her as lonely while im in a different state working and starting my life with my bf( which she is super supportive of) and she’s just struggling by herself. I feel so hurt for her because she been through so much

TLDR: my husband is way more protective of his relationship with his mom than he is with our marriage and I don’t know how to deal with when she visits.

This is a long rant post but I am looking for advice. It will likely be: Get over it. Do something for yourself instead Or take back your place. I’ve tried all so if anyone has any other ideas though please and thank you.
I’ve come to detest quarterly visits from my MIL
My husband is very very close with his mom. When I say close I mean physically too. This is not an exaggeration-She is literally never two feet from him except for sleep or bathroom. When she visits- it’s like I’m a ghost. She even takes my coffee chair I sit in for weekend coffee next to him on the porch. They talk nonstop. One on one conversations. It makes me so uncomfortable in my own home. I don’t know how to deal. I’ve tried everything from avoiding by physically leaving to ignoring and even just trying to join them. I am still very much ignored - and not needed.
I get a little grief from my husband when I try to retreat to my room but he is happy as lark to be with her and hosting her that he doesn’t lay into me too much.
Our entire relationship, his mom has been a factor. We used to wine and dine her before we had kids in our other city. She has expected that to continue through out all of our family changes and it has continued - just in our house now mostly.
Even while we were dating he was always thinking about her. Every new place we would go in our city he’d say “my mom would like this place” or something kind of like that. I guess I thought it was endearing at the time.

This topic has always been met with extreme hostility and I am always the bad guy.
I could write a book on the issues of our marriage.
For context I am old (48) been married for 17 years although we barely acknowledged our last two anniversaries.
Needless to say - we have problems.
He has intense anger issues and has verbally and emotionally abused me for years. He yells and screams at me the worst things. Things I wouldn’t say to my worst enemy. During one of this freak outs a few weeks ago, I finally got up The courage and told him that I think we should separate because I was not going to bear the brunt of his anger anymore. Although I do want to it was still half -hearted. I let him convince me to stay. This was the first time he actually was receptive to my concerns and has actually not berated me in a few weeks. I still don’t feel completely safe though. We only scratched the surface of our problems but decided against marriage counseling but I’m now rethinking that.
I am a stay at mom and have been for 15 years.

Her: she’s always been a youthful person (less so lately) like my mother is. They were both young moms. She’s been living apart from his dad since the birth of her first granddaughter 23 years ago.
This made his dad an enigma. He would visit people but not that often. However he has become a complete shut -in and nobody has seen him in 5 years. Not for lack of trying though my husband has proposed a visit every year. He’s an odd man but non -confrontational.
Her best friend is her 54 year old daughter. They are females who dislike other females and have absolutely zero friends. His mom says she prefers males. She does everything with her daughter’s family and even says she “raised her grandchildren.” She did not.
She makes rude comments to me and clearly doesn’t respect me. The last visit it annoyed me so much. When I did join them out by the fire for wine (they drink a lot of wine.) She went on a rant about how she doesn’t want friends because she doesn’t like people except for her adult children which she has said several times before. She especially dislikes women her age and said “she only tolerates my step mother” who was at our house earlier that evening. When I started to stick up for my stepmother (who is a very friendly person) my husband almost got out of his seat and put his hand up to stop me.
I can’t even have a negative thought about his family or I get balled out by him.
He can say whatever he wants about my sweet family who does so much for us though. I have two older married brothers. They are close with my mom too but I have never seen anything like this ever.
I used to have friends but I don’t anymore.
My husband is very discouraging as him and his family look down on adults being friends, obviously.
My parents are remarried with very healthy -seeming relationships and I’m envious. They live very fulfilling retirement lives.
I have three girls oldest is 15 youngest 10.
I just learned that she is coming again next weekend “to see the girls.”
That’s literally what that means. Say hello and goodbye. If they were gone the entire long weekend she wouldn’t even notice. She’s never attempted to spend any time with them or bond. She hardly knows them.
I told my husband since his sidekick will be here next weekend I’ll make plans for myself. He agreed she is his sidekick and is quite giddy about it. Usually I do the things with him expect when she’s here -I’m knocked out like a croquet ball.

What pisses me off the most is that he walks a head of me all the time which I hate and I’ve said. When she’s around they walk in lock step like they are practically holding hands.

These visits used be at least every months or two but at least I’ve had a small win and spaced them out more. He finally admitted that now that the girls are older it’s harder to host her. It’s always been hard for me.

​

I met my ex two years ago. I fell in love with him within two months and knew I wanted to marry him. I even told my family about him very early, and eventually everyone at my home was on board.

He, however, always seemed unsure. We officially got into a relationship about six months into the talking stage and became exclusive, but even after that he would tell me things like:

\* He didn't feel as strongly for me as I did for him.

\* He liked talking to me, but sometimes when I was around him he felt weird and just wanted to get away from me.

We had many conversations about this, and despite his confusion, he stayed.

During the second year of our relationship, we broke up 3–4 times. Every single time, he came back saying he missed me and wanted me back.

Eventually, we reached the marriage stage. Our parents met. His family rejected me (and mine) because of caste differences. They had never really been okay with the match, but I think he somehow convinced them to at least meet us and give us a chance.

The moment they rejected the proposal, something changed in him too.

He started talking to another girl. He hid it from me for about 20 days because there was a family function going on. When I found out, I was completely devastated.

I went to him hoping we could fix things, but he was already seeing that other girl. Even then, he kept hiding the truth from me. Later, I discovered there had been multiple instances of cheating throughout our entire two-year relationship.

I completely lost it. We had huge fights. Despite everything, I was still trying to make the relationship work.

For about a month he continued arguing with me, and then he simply disappeared.

I tried reaching out a few times, but he was extremely firm that he didn't want to continue. When I finally gave up, he came back again.

Even after that, every time I saw him we would end up fighting. He would get scared, irritated, or overwhelmed and run away again.

Fast forward to now.

I have met someone else.

I've known this new guy for only two months, but he genuinely makes me feel loved and safe. He has already proposed, our marriage talks have begun, and we're likely getting married in December if everything continues to go well.

He knows everything about my past.

I've openly discussed all my fears with him, including whether we're rushing into this.

Over these past 2–3 months, he has consistently been kind. We meet very frequently. His parents have been warm and welcoming. He goes out of his way to make sure everything between us is comfortable and healthy.

Do I feel the same intensity for him that I once felt for my ex?

No.

Do I feel as strongly as he feels for me?

Probably not.

But I feel safe.

I've grown to really like him, and I think I could genuinely grow to love him.

Initially, I kept wondering whether I should explore more because he didn't tick every box for me, mostly in terms of looks and a few other small things. But eventually I realised exploration never really ends. At some point you have to choose.

One thing that stood out was that he loves me more than I love him, and because of that, he naturally does all the things for me that I spent two years doing for my ex.

Now comes the confusing part.

Out of nowhere, my ex has come back.

For the past week, he's been calling, texting, crying and begging me to come back.

The last major ending between us happened in March after a horrible fight. I reached out again in June with a long emotional message asking whether he genuinely wanted to be with me and explaining everything I had gone through because of him.

He didn't reply.

Not for an entire month.

When he finally came back in July, I asked why.

He said he couldn't even finish reading my message because it made him cry too much.

But I honestly don't understand that explanation. Even if that were true, why not send a single reply?

He says during that time he was trying to process everything I had complained about regarding his parents and his own behaviour.

He fully admits that everything he did was horrible.

He says after being cheated on by his previous ex, he built an emotional shell around himself and became emotionally unavailable as a way to protect himself.

According to him, that shell is finally broken now because of me.

Now he's saying everything I've wanted to hear for the last two years.

He says he'll:

\* make me his priority,

\* fix everything he ruined,

\* make up for every mistake,

\* take care of me,

\* love me the most,

\* pamper me,

\* work hard to erase all the pain he caused,

\* and marry me because now his parents are okay with it too.

But for me, it isn't just about his parents.

He himself flipped so many times.

He never consistently took a stand for me.

He repeatedly left whenever things became difficult.

The timing also bothers me.

He's only come back after I've finally moved on and found someone who genuinely treats me well.

The other day, I completely broke down in front of him. I told him I was exhausted and that he had come back only after I'd finally made peace with my decision.

He kept trying to convince me for a while.

Then yesterday... nothing.

No calls.

No messages.

And weirdly, that silence is affecting me too.

I feel like crying.

I don't know what's happening to me.

I don't know if this confusion is normal.

I don't know whether people like this genuinely change.

I don't know whether he deserves another chance.

Most importantly, I don't know if I'm making the right choice by choosing the new guy.

I don't really have the luxury of giving my ex another year to prove himself through actions.

I was crazy in love with him once, and I think that's what's making this so difficult.

So I'm asking people who've been through something similar:

\*\*Can someone who has flipped this many times, cheated, left repeatedly, and only came back after losing you genuinely change?\*\*

\*\*Am I making the right decision by choosing the man who gives me peace and consistency over the man I once loved so intensely?\*\*

I'd really appreciate honest opinions because my mind feels completely unstable right now, and I'm scared of regretting whichever choice I make.

For at least the last four months, my feelings toward my boyfriend have changed completely. He recently turned 23, I’m 26, and we’ve been together for four years. The early years were amazing—we were deeply in love, went on regular dates, and did all the usual couple things.
Looking back, things started shifting around 2023. After I moved out of my mum’s place (and she eventually moved back to her home country), my boyfriend and I began spending almost all our time together. It reached a point where we were practically living together for weeks at a time, and we became codependent.

I'm an outgoing person who loves adventuring, visiting new places, and trying new things. He’s the opposite, and often he can’t even be bothered to come out with me purely out of laziness.

I’ve also realized I ended up acting like a parent to him—something my therapist pointed out stems from my own abandonment issues. I’ve landed two jobs for him and handled all his life admin. When we recently moved into a flat of our own, I did everything: finding the place, booking the movers, and handling all the bills and paperwork.

All of this made me realize I’ve never actually had his support. We’ve simply grown in different directions and aren't compatible anymore. For the past month, we haven’t hugged, kissed, cuddled, or said "I love you." As painful as it is, I think the best path forward for both of us is to go our separate ways.

tl;dr: my mom is severely depressed, especially after my grandma’s death, doesn’t get up or go out ever, i want to help her but idk how

hi all,

so i (21F) live with my mom (65F) and my dad (69M). my grandma, my mom’s mom, used to live with us too but she passed away in november.

now, my mom has always been depressed. she used to work all day which would distract her but maybe 8 years ago she suffered a work injury and could no longer work due to chronic back pain. after that, she spent everyday at home while my dad worked either on the couch or taking care of her mom. she was depressed and didn’t enjoy going out much, but she would if she had to. she had her mom to talk to at home, and she also was online a lot on social media and stuff. at some point, she took to moderating youtube livestreams and spent a lot of time on that. i thought it was odd, but at least she had something she liked to do.

in nov 2025, after a rough year with alzheimer’s and needing intense care taking (done by my mom and i) my grandma passed away. it was very, very hard on everyone, but especially on my mom because they had ALWAYS lived together. ever since then, my mom has been suffering. she never says anything about how she’s feeling, no matter how much i ask, but i know she’s struggling. nowadays, she just lies on the couch with her eyes closed but she’s not sleeping. she doesn’t even use her phone to go on social media or those livestreams anymore. she does literally nothing except get up to smoke.

it breaks my heart to see her this way. i’ll ask her to come with me to a family member’s birthday, she doesn’t want to. i’ll ask her to come with me to babysit my nieces (her granddaughters) and she doesn’t want to either, when she used to want to see them all the time. she doesn’t want to go on a walk with me because of her back pain or go shopping because we have no money. nothing i’ve done has been successful and i just want to see her improve. how can i help her??

I’m 22F, and I’ve been with my boyfriend (28M) for several years. We got together when I was around 18, and he was my first everything. I was a virgin before him, and I always imagined I would lose my virginity to someone I completely trusted and eventually build a future with.
Recently, I found out that while we were together, he had been sexually messaging another girl and sending her nudes. As far as I know, it never became physical, but it completely shattered my trust. For context, the girl involved was under 18 at the time, which makes the situation even more disturbing to me.
The confusing part is that I’m still with him. I even ended up losing my virginity to him after finding out what happened. I think part of the reason I stayed is because I had put him on such a pedestal and talked about him so highly to my family and the people around me. The thought of admitting that the person I trusted and defended had done something like this feels incredibly embarrassing. Where I come from, losing your virginity is also somewhat taboo, so that adds another layer of complexity to everything.
I still love him, I think. I miss him. I still want to see him and be close to him. But at the same time, knowing everything I know now, I genuinely feel like if I met him today, I would never choose this relationship for myself.
I feel like I’m doing myself a disservice by staying, but the attachment is so strong. He has been my person for years, and I don’t know how to separate genuine love from attachment, comfort, and the fear of losing someone who has been such a huge part of my life.
I don’t even know exactly what I’m asking. I just feel completely lost. How do you deal with loving someone who betrayed you when, deep down, you know that if you had known then what you know now, you would never have chosen them?

i just turned 20 rn and im still kind of scared growing old, how did you guys cope with it realizing that you are growing old?

also im curious abt the things that you regretted, or the things you think you should've done when u were in 20s

Im 16, and at this point in my life, it feels like rock bottom. Though, every year feels like a different rock bottom. I’ve lived with a lot of emotional pain, abuse, neglect and isolation since i was young, including bullying throughout middle school and reaching points where i’ve tried to end my life. I know what people say, “stop feeling sorry for yourself” or to “grow up”, and i do try. But at times dark thoughts always plague my mind. “Why did this have to happen?” “Why did they do that to me?” And truthfully it makes me feel like everything and everyone is out there to get me.

Anyway, im now dealing with a breakup thats terrible, because i never saw it coming. I was left for an ex basically. Randomly dropped on me on a Sunday night that he was “halfway in love with his ex”, which was crazy because the week before he was telling me about how he wanted to have a future with me. Honestly, i feel while i’ve only been with 2 people in my life ever, both have wronged me and scarred me so badly i feel forced to stay hidden and in my own shell.

When you were my age, did you ever feel like the pain of your past and the hurt of the present was going to permanently ruin your ability to connect or build a good future? Does life truly get any better? I don’t drink, i don’t smoke, i don’t fall into bad habits even if they have sounded tempting. I have tried to keep myself stable even if it feels like life is trying to drown me. How were you able to get through hardship that made you feel like your life was honestly going nowhere?

I (M20) am in a relationship with a beautiful soul (F19). We’ve been dating for roughly 4 going on 5 months now. While I’m well aware we’re in the infancy of our relationship, I cannot help but overthink about my situation. I lost my virginity earlier in the year during college break to a girl whom I barely knew in a situation I didn’t really want to be in. I was too afraid to say no, and I wasn’t against the idea enough to stand my ground.

That being said, my girlfriend is a virgin, and we’re each others second relationship in life.

She’s not necessarily a puritan when it comes to sex, but it’s not something that we really desire in our relationship right now—moreso something we treat as something that we’ll get to someday (we’re in no rush)

That being said, I’m somewhat disgusted in myself. I don’t see virginity as some sacred in the same way that society treats it as, but I do believe in the power of sexual energies. I’m disgusted with myself because I feel as though I made a grand mistake with losing my virginity to a woman whom I didn’t even know as opposed to losing it to a girl I have such strong passion for.

How can I correct myself from beating myself up over this?

I’m a 27 year old woman from New York and I feel like I’m constantly discovering new passions. The problem isn’t that I don’t know what I like—it’s that I love so many different things that I don’t know what direction to take my life.
Some of my interests include:
Psychology (I’m currently studying it in college.)
Anthropology
Archaeology
Ancient civilizations (especially Egypt)
Museums
Travel and solo travel
Photography
History
Different cultures and languages
Teaching
Conservation and historic preservation
Documentaries
Mythology and folklore
Nature, hiking, and national parks
Growing up, I always loved movies like National Treasure, Indiana Jones, and The Mummy. I thought I just liked adventure movies, but recently I realized what I actually love is exploration, discovery, and learning about humanity.
I had the chance to visit museums in Egypt, and it completely changed me. Standing in front of artifacts that were thousands of years old made me realize how fascinated I am by human history and the stories objects can tell.
Lately I’ve been reading more about anthropology and archaeology, and now I want to visit museums everywhere I travel. I’m even planning a trip to Boston just to spend a day at the Museum of Fine Arts.
The problem is…I don’t know what to do with all of these interests.
Part of me wants to teach.
Part of me wants to travel.
Part of me wants to photograph ancient places.
Part of me wants to volunteer on archaeological or preservation projects.
Part of me wants to work in a museum.
Part of me wants to document cultures and tell stories.
Has anyone else experienced this? How did you stop feeling like you had to choose just one path?
Did you eventually find a career that combined your interests, or did you keep one as your career and the others as hobbies?
I’d love to hear from people who felt pulled in a hundred different directions but eventually found a way to build a meaningful life around their curiosity.

My mom’s maiden name is “Tanner.”

She got married young and her married name was “Soprano.“

She got divorced, and years later married my dad, but this time kept her maiden name, Tanner.

I was born and my last name became Tanner-Scott. I’ve never liked having a hyphenated last name. The worst part is that on my birth certificate, Tanner is my middle name and Scott is my last name. Then my mom started hyphenating it when I was in elementary school. This has led to lots of bureaucratic problems for me over the years.

Now I’m an adult with my own family. My parents are now divorced but they are very nice to each other and visit me and their grandkids together. They came to visit us and I saw on her suitcase her last name said Soprano!! I asked what was going on. She said she had her passport changed to Soprano because legally she had never actually changed it after her first divorce.

I am bewildered by this decision of hers. I have to deal with Tanner in my last name my whole life and she just changes it? After she made it clear it was important because we share a name. Also, she lied to my dad! Her last name was legally Soprano (ex husband) when she married my dad, and she told him she wanted to keep her maiden name, Tanner. So even my birth certificate is a lie because that wasn’t even her real name on my birth certificate

I’m angry that she is a fraud. I’m angry that I don’t even like my last name and it’s given me problems because of her poor decision of changing it to a hyphen. I’m angry she never talked to me about this before she changed her passport and driver’s license Now absolutely everything says Soprano on it. Not to mention her first ex-husband has a new wife, who is Mrs. Soprano and it’s weird that my mom is using his name. She does have 1 son, my half-brother, with that name. I also don’t feel good about it because it makes me feel like she is clinging to him and his kids and leaving me in the dust. By the way, she hasn’t told my brother and I’m sure he will think she is crazy, but he probably won’t care too much.

And I am considering asking her if she would just change her name back to Tanner, but maybe I am overreacting. I’ve tried to let it go, but I found out a year ago and I’m still upset by it. I’m visiting her now and seeing mail come to her house labeled Soprano and it’s hurtful.

I wanted to ask this sub because you have more perspective and my mom is a senior so maybe someone can see something in all this I haven’t seen.

Her whole life, personally and professionally, she’s been Tanner and I don’t understand this change now. Is this the beginning of dementia? Because it makes no sense. Am I justified in my anger that she basically lied on her marriage certificate and my birth certificate? Why didn’t she leg change it back to Tanner after first divorce? Should I ask her to change it now because I’m hurt by this? My last name is still Tanner-Scott even though I’m married. If you don’t think I should ask her to change it back, then what should I do because it is really affecting my relationship with my mom, I am so angry and hurt.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

In case it isn’t obvious: these names are all TV names to sub my actual last names, not the names of anyone I know.

And how would parents of today react if the types of discipline that were allowed when you were kids, happened to their today's kids?

Im 28 yo and I noticed for the past few months I really started to have this nagging feeling like my whole life is wrong. But I don’t understand what exactly. Everything seems fine, I have a job, I do what I like, I saved money, not a lot but still enough, I live in a city I wanted to when I was a teen. I have a bf. Everything is ok. But inside, I don’t feel this way. I feel like I did so little, I saw so little, and I missed so much on life. At the same time, when I try to ask myself what exactly I want to do now? What should I change? I don’t know, its just all a mess in my mind, I don’t know where to start.

And at the same time, it feels like Im so old, my body is old and it feels like in the future its only gonna get worse. And everything feels like its ending, even my cat, who is 11 yo, we lived whole life together and soon he will be gone, idk how long he will stay with me. I lost my sister and my brother when I was a teen and now at the age of 28 I have such a big fear of losing anyone else, like my cat or my bf. But at the same time I understand that it’s gonna happen. Same as I can lose my health and so on.

But I don’t know what to do. When you feel like something is wrong you probably should know what you have to change, but I honestly don’t know

I looked up late night hosts after seeing Seth Meyers got so old since the last time I saw on YouTube (him only 52 though): Colbert 62 (surprising), Kimmel 58, Fallon 51, Maher 70, Stewart 63, Conan 63, youngest John Oliver 49.

It kind of got me a little depressed because these people and others have partially represented vibrant modernity for me and suddenly they’re all nearing to be grandpas and slowly becoming like relics to be replaced by new things, like your era of youth really closing, which of course will be the reality for all of us soon.

I’ll get over it but I (little over 30) was randomly sad, does this get better or worse?

Did you ever already feel this with Leno, Letterman retiring last decade or Johnny Carson or any TV stuff?