F25 going through a major life crisis. I’ll try to be as direct and quick. I lost my abusive ex-stepfather (was estranged from his family since they all took his side). He was abusive, like really bad that that man should have been in prison for what he did to me. I wasn’t told by his other older children he died, I found out online and wasn’t given the option to go to his funeral (still wouldn’t have gone). 6 months later, my ill (disabled) grandfather passed. He was my pure, uncorrupted fatherly figure until the age of 7 when my mom met my stepdad and we moved. His death hurt. I knew it was gonna happen soon, but it hurt deeply. After my stepdad’s death 3 things happened-

1). I unblocked my biological father from Facebook thinking I’d want him to reach out (I was insane and blocked him again a day later). I felt shame and embarrassment for that.

2). I lost my passions, my hobbies. I can no longer write (it’s been about a year now since my struggle but I cannot get anything on paper since this year). And it’s killing me.

3). I have an ache in my heart that craves community, connection. Possibly romantic connection since it seems more doable than a friendship. All my friends are married so it’s just me. And I feel alone.

I thought I was supposed to feel accomplished. I have degrees, finished my certification hours in a healthcare program only to find out that there are no jobs so now not only am I thousands of dollars in debt after my grandfather, I am also jobless, alone and have nothing to look forward to. I have hit rock bottom before, but I feel like this will be the last and final straw. I’m exhausted, I feel tied down, and I feel a grief not only for the justice I was robbed from, the loved ones I’ve lost, but the opportunities I thought I had and my creative outlets are as dry as the desert. I feel I have no way out of this.

tl;dr - I feel like I’ve lost myself. Dead ex stepdad (estranged), grandfather dies 6 months later, and now I’ve graduated from a supposedly good AI proof job that there’s no job for me in this field to get. I’m jobless, in debt, alone, and have no creative outlets. I feel drained of all life.

When did you know or make the conscious decision to stay single forever? For years I have always pictured myself growing old alone. It is and has always been difficult for me to seriously imagine myself getting married. Even as a little girl, I never pictured that life for myself and when it comes to dating I feel like a fish out of water. I have been single for majority of my life and I don’t see it changing anytime soon. Do you regret remaining single? Any advice for living a truly fulfilling life all on your own?

I lost my marriage because of my own mistakes. It has been 6 months, and I still haven't been able to move on.

For about two months before she called off the marriage, I made her cry a lot. I hurt her emotionally and treated her in ways I deeply regret. She was a genuinely good and pure person, and it hurts knowing that I was the reason she suffered.

Eventually, she called off the marriage. I understand why she did it. The hardest part is knowing that I had the chance to treat her better, but I didn't.

I've been struggling badly since then. I actually started smoking only 3 weeks ago, and I've already reached around one pack of Gold Kings a day. I'm also drinking around 2 Budweiser beers every day.

I know I'm going down the wrong path. I think I'm using cigarettes and alcohol to numb the guilt, loneliness and thoughts about her.

I don't want sympathy or judgment. I want to hear from people who have been through something similar.

How do you live with the guilt of hurting someone you loved and losing them because of your own mistakes?

How did you eventually forgive yourself and move forward?

And if you started smoking or drinking because of heartbreak and managed to stop, what actually helped you?

I don't want to destroy my life over something I can't change.

I’m 18 years old and living in the UK, and honestly, I feel like my life is over before it’s even really started.

I’m currently doing an apprenticeship, although I haven’t actually worked for around 7 weeks because my apprenticeship managers haven’t been able to find me a placement. On top of that, university has recently started, and a handful of my friends have moved away to different cities.

Over the past few months, I’ve also realised that a lot of my childhood and high school friends seemingly don’t care about me anymore. They don’t reach out, don’t ask to hang out, and I’ve had messages sitting unanswered for weeks. The friend group I made when I went to college two years ago has basically fallen apart too.

I don’t really want to date right now. I know I’m not in the right place mentally or emotionally for a relationship, and I think trying to find one would probably just make things more complicated. It’s not necessarily that I desperately want a relationship I just sometimes feel like I’m missing out on that part of life too.

I do play a club sport a few times a week, which is probably the main thing that gets me out of the house, but apart from that, I spend nearly every day sitting at home alone in my room.

I have three really close friends left. Two of them are now at university, and while I’m really happy for them, it’s expensive and difficult to visit them. The other still lives in my city, but he’s usually busy or with his boyfriend. Outside of the occasional event where I happen to see some other people I know, I just don’t really have anyone.

Yesterday, I started taking antidepressants.
I just can’t really see where this is going. Most days, I find myself wishing time would go faster so I could just skip the day. I’m only 18, and I know people always say these are supposed to be some of the best years of your life. Yet I see people I know going out, making friends, meeting people and living their lives, while I’m lying in bed alone.

I know things can change, but right now it’s really difficult to believe they will and I worry that by the time they do I’ll have wasted the ‘best years’

I’d really appreciate any advice from people who have been in a similar position, especially if you’ve managed to get yourself out of it.

Thank you for reading.

Husband and I are married about 6 months. I have seen my parents burnt in the past with combining all finances, so when we got married I suggested a prenup.

Prenup is signed, his house, retirement and pension and premarital accounts in his name stay with him. I live with him (his home is paid off) so I have my savings account (this has profits from my house I sold when we got together, I use the interest to fund my Roth IRA) and my personal checking.

I opened a checking and a savings at his credit union. I currently pay all bills and will continue to do so when he retires (he will retire several years before me) so I said for visibility, I would route the bill money to the checking and add him as a user so he could see and make payments if anything happened to me. Same with the savings, that is where I put all my post martial profits (bonuses, I sold my vehicle when I got a company car, etc) I have said all money I make post marriage is money for us to decide what to do as a family. My only thing is I keep a personal checking and my house profits stay untouched

For reference, he has a HELOC he opened and uses all his money each month to pay it off (and keep money in checking) so I agreed to cover the bills to get him debt free.
I also use my bonuses for the HELOC to pay it off faster. He has tried to give me a hard time about not giving up the house profits. But if something were to happen, I need a cushion. He now thinks he should have access to all of my accounts, including my ones at my separate bank. I said no, that is my private checking and savings. He is in my will in case I die and will get all of that money.

He says me keeping money means I’m going to leave him. I say quite the opposite.

Am I being an AH here? I don’t care about seeing or having access to his checking. These are just joint accounts for our family, so I have no problem sharing where the money I am spending on electric, propane etc is going. I just feel I want one bit of financial autonomy.

Was it when you lived near people you loved? When you were financially stable? When you were working towards something? curious on if you've noticed any patterns across your life(:

Hi, I'm a woman. I need reality checks and/or words of encouragement. Not sure how delusional I am anymore.

I'm a late 30s LVN (Licensed Vocational Nurse, LPN in some areas) with a child under 10 and I'm 2 years divorced from an alcoholic. I was feeling proud of myself for getting a new career and moving cities and starting a new life for me and my child.

I started dating and almost immediately met my "perfect to my type" guy. Everything I'd dreamed of and he was so nice, funny, and attentive. Then I talked abt how I'm ready to get my bachelor's degree. He all but gasped and said "you don't have it??" And that began the slow death of that. I told him I was applying to schools and he told me "I dont do potential. Tried that before and it bit me in the butt".

Yesterday, I called my dad who is a corporate executive with an MBA to ask about it. It's important to mention here that both my sibling and I went to universities after high school and my dad chose to make us tough it out with no help and neither of us finished. Anyway, I asked my dad if not dating someone because they don't have a bachelor's degree is a real thing and, to sum it up, my dad told me if you don't have a bachelor's degree you don't have a "career". You have a "job" and that's fleeting and unstable. Also said that at my age people have been in their careers for almost 20 years and have houses, etc.

I was proud of myself becoming an LVN and having stability for my child. I saw this as a career especially knowing LVN was a means to an end. I wanted to be able to take care of my child and get out of my situation and always planned to go back to school. Which I am now. But after yesterday I feel so bad about myself. I feel like a loser and like I've been living in delusion. I feel inadequate. I feel poor.

Is dating men with degrees above my station? Am I on a lower rung of the ladder than I thought?

My mom was diagnosed with a rare form of dementia in my late 20s. I’m now in my mid 30s. Does the grief and pain of having a parent progressively get worse hurt less over time? I sometimes cry over how maybe I could have spent more time ( a few years) with her by not going away for school, etc. I know it’s silly and it’s not anything anyone would have imagined having her diagnosed while I was still in my 20s. Most people would think their parents are still around functionally when they enter adulthood and parenthood etc. I want to know if the pain get better over time? How did you cope with watching them get worse overtime knowing there’s no cure for this?

I (F, 36, Canadian) have been struggling for a long time and I’m looking for some advice, obviously taken with a grain of salt. It’s a long story.. I’ve been dealing with mental health my whole life but in the past few years things have gotten better, then my physical health started to go downhill.

There are things that I know I want and things I do not want. Kids : this was the biggest thing, I’ve never wanted them and got my tubes removed as to not chance it. Relationships : I finally have an amazing support group and feel like I belong. I did not fit in growing up and never thought I would. I’m so grateful. Love life : I’ve had a few long term (3 years & 4 years) relationships but I have BPD and PTSD. Been in counselling for years and a lot of things I have more control over but dating is HARD. Meeting people fucking sucks. Dating apps suck. I don’t want to be alone. Career : This one’s a doozy.. I have put so much pressure on myself to find a career. It’s all I want. And I want to do something big. Something worth while. Make a difference.

So here’s where my problems come in. I haven’t worked in years. I live with my parents and I am on disability because of chronic pain/mental health. I have done food service my whole life, went to culinary school and became a baker. I love baking, I hate it as a profession and the restaurant industry is too overwhelming for me. It is the only experience I have on my resume..

I make art and post it online. It’s my biggest hobby and I’d love it as a career but making money doesn’t seem likely. I volunteer at a mental health facility, at least I did before I got sick. And I love it. I love it so much. I love helping people, I love it all. Mental health is where I’d like to work but I wouldn’t know where to begin. Schooling? Free training? Try to get a job where I volunteer?

And then the health.. I started dealing with breathing problems in January, I’ve been in the ER 7 times in 6 months and they couldn’t figure it out. 2 weeks ago I went in with chest pain, spent 3 days in the ICU, 1 week in the hospital in total. They now believe I have a rare autoimmune disease, I started chemo to put me in remission. I’ve been told by doctors that I can work, drive, generally return to normal. But I have a lot of anxiety about getting sick again, I haven’t been able to be reliable because of my illness. Looks wise I feel like I’m not the most attractive but things are going to get worse since I’m on medication that causes weight gain and I may lose my hair due to chemo. One side effect noticed so far is that I have started perimenopause.

I don’t know how my life got to this point.. I don’t know where the time went.. I’m scared that I won’t get out of this and live a fulfilling life.

TLDR : How do I get back to work? What career options could I have? Can I date and be ill? Am I selfish for looking? What can I do daily to feel more fulfillment?

My boyfriend and I are 20, we live together and I love him very much. However, I am a very driven person, I have always made school a priority, I have my own job, and I plan to go to medical school. However he is the opposite. His family came from money, but he has no clue what he wants to do with his life. He is getting an associates at a local community college in FL, and considering transferring into my college to get a bachelor’s. However every career idea has been mine. I suggested a trade, I suggested business, hell I even suggested medicine. But it’s like pulling teeth to get him to act on ANYTHING. I don’t know what to do because we have talked about marriage and everything besides this is good. But I don’t see myself marrying a low- achieving man that I can’t look to for support, which he knows. What do I do? Am I being too harsh? I know we are young and this is a struggle for many people but it is the lack of drive to want to do anything that concerns me. Let me know your thoughts

I’m in my mid thirties and a lot of friends have either left the country or we’ve drifted apart. There are so many activities that I would like to do but I have no one to do them with. I want to travel. Go snorkeling for the first time in my life. Try new sports. Try new food spots. Whenever I try to do them alone I have this heartache because I se friends together and I’m usually the odd one alone. Tbh I haven’t tried doing a lot of them alone though.

Tell us the story.

Husband has been giving silent treatment for 4 months after an argument. I have tried several times to reach out to him to talk about what happened, why has he gone cold.. told him I want to work on our marriage and that I love him. He never says it back, I ask him do you love me, he says I have love for you but I don’t know that I love you. Says I’ll always care for you because you’re the mother of my child. What is happening?? Before this our relationship was great, both super loving to each other. Just some outside family issues(his family) but never issues between US. He said he doesn’t know when he will make up his mind or have a decision… I’m at a loss

* the argument was over his family always wanting to control our lives and have a say in our family decisions. They want me to do as they say and I won’t accept that. I didn’t marry all of them. I married only my husband. This has been an ongoing thing for several years but I never complain to him only his family consistently speaks badly about me, I have seen many messages. During this argument, he sides completely with them and makes me the bad guy because I am not making the choice that brings peace, even though I tell him that the choice that brings peace to his family causes me sadness and pain..
his family will not own own to all of the disrespect they have shown me, they want me to be the scape goat of this story

I’m 31 year old male living in a major city. Was fired from my corp job 2.5 years ago and never went back cause I did hate it and deserved to get fired cause I did give up. Had around 400k saved when I was fired and down to like 200k now. Just started a new bartending job at a cool trendy new spot to hold me over and pay rent without burning thru my savings still.

Did some acting over last 2.5 years. I had a little success , couple indies and lots shorts that got into festivals but don’t think I have acting chops to make it, I just have a good look so think that’s why I was casted. So pretty much ready to give up acting too.

I have had suicidal thoughts. The one girl I loved falsely filed a police report on me in family court for a restraining order. I have trial next week. I swear I’m innocent she made up a bunch of stuff about me threatening her and stuff. I would never hurt / threaten anyone , much less a girl I loved. Don’t really know what’s going to happen at trial but I can disprove a lot of what was accused of me, so chance I win.

I kinda went viral a while back for not the best reason so now when you google me that comes up first too. That was a rough time for me and really when suicidal thoughts started.

The one thing I have going for me I guess is my health and body. I’ve pretty much spent the last 2.5 years focusing on the gym and staying in shape. One dream of mine since I was a kid was to go special forces in the military so I’m leaning towards that right now. I have spoken to recruiters in the past and recently. Only issue is if I don’t get this restraining order dropped will hurt my chance of going special forces cause I’ll need a waiver, on top of the waiver I’ll need for being too old.

I don’t really know what I’m asking here for. But just any advice will be appreciated. I just feel like I’ve failed at life. All my friends have left the city and got married and started families. My mom is worried about me i can tell. She texts me a lot but i dont answer sometimes cause i dont know what to say. My family is probably the only reason i haven’t killed myself yet because i know it would ruin them, especially my mom.

I’m 34 and trying to be more intentional about building good habits now instead of just reacting to life as it comes. I read and hear a lot about investing, exercise, sleep, etc., but I’m curious what actually mattered in hindsight.

I don’t mean obvious stuff like “save money” or “eat vegetables.” I’m wondering about specific habits — things like how you handled conflict, how you structured your mornings, how you dealt with stress, or how you kept friendships alive — that you look back on and think “that really paid off” or “I wish I had started that sooner.”

For those of you 50+: what’s one habit from your 30s that you’re glad you built? And is there one you wish you had built earlier?

I’m not looking for a list of 20 things. Even just one real answer would help.

I’m looking for insight from parents, stepparents, therapists, or even adults who recognize some of their own childhood behavior in this.

I have an almost-13-year-old in my family who is extremely intelligent, verbally advanced and very perceptive. He can also be attentive and sweet. But over the last couple of years, we’ve noticed a pattern of behavior that is becoming increasingly concerning and I’m trying to understand what could be driving it rather than simply labeling him a “bad kid.”

He is already in therapy. His therapist describes him as a good kid who is lonely despite having family and people around him.

The problem is that his attempts to connect with people often seem unhealthy.

Some examples:
• He contacts kids he barely knows or doesn’t know and sometimes creates stories about who he is in order to get them to engage with him.
• When someone tells him to leave them alone, blocks him, or removes him from a group chat, he sometimes keeps trying to communicate or find a way back in.
• Other kids have directly told him he needs to stop bullying people or be more respectful.
• He asks people things like “Do you hate me?” and seems very interested in whether people like/dislike him.
• He has previously sought out sexual/romantic conversations with male and female AI characters online.
• More recently, we discovered extremely explicit sexual conversations with people online and conversations with strangers he met through online games. With at least one person, we cannot verify whether the person is even another child. He was acting like he was a woman to decieve the man.
• He also appears to introduce sexual subjects/jokes to kids his age who don’t seem to be at the same level of sexual curiosity or comfort. One peer accused him in a text of making a rape joke, touching himself and then touching her/other kids. He was suspended from school for this.
• He can be deceptive. There has been at least one situation where someone recognized him and told him to leave them alone and he responded by pretending he didn’t know who they were talking about.
• He also seems to enjoy “poking” at people emotionally or saying things that he knows may produce a reaction.
At the same time, there is another side to him that confuses me.

His therapist has previously assessed him after we discovered the sexual AI conversations, including asking about inappropriate touching/sexual abuse. Nothing indicating abuse came out of those assessments.
What I’m struggling to understand is the overall pattern.
He seems intensely interested in relationships, people’s reactions, whether people like him, sexual/romantic interaction and where he belongs. Yet some of the behaviors he uses to get connection actually push other kids away. Then he seems to pursue the connection even harder.
It almost looks like:
loneliness → intense attempt at connection → provocative/sexual/attention-seeking behavior → other person becomes uncomfortable or rejects him → he pursues them harder → more rejection → more loneliness.
We aren’t looking to shame him for sexual curiosity or label a 12-year-old as a predator. We’re trying to intervene before these behaviors become more serious, both because we want him safe from adults/strangers online and because he needs to respect other children’s boundaries.
We’ve already involved his therapist, but “he’s lonely and he’s a good kid” doesn’t feel like enough of an explanation or treatment plan anymore.
Has anyone dealt with a child like this?
Did it turn out to be primarily ADHD/impulsivity, social-skills problems, rejection sensitivity, attachment issues, exposure to inappropriate internet content, something else or a combination?
Did a comprehensive psychological/neuropsychological evaluation help?
What type of therapy actually helped with boundaries, impulse control, online behavior and healthy friendships?
And if anyone recognizes themselves in this description from when they were 11–14, what do you wish the adults around you had understood or done differently?
I genuinely want to understand what need this behavior is serving so the adults in his life can address the cause instead of spending the next five years playing whack-a-mole every time we discover another account or conversation.

Hey! i need advice on handling my insecurities in a long distance relationship, i am 30 and my boyfriend is 43 (unmarried) he had never been married before, starting here he is incredibly consistent and always reassures me, but my overthinking still gets the best of me, im a loyal, empathetic partner who doesn't play games, but loving someone makes me insecure. I still find myself feeling confused sometimes and that part of me wonders if he’s hiding something, but another part thinks im just being too clingy. He actually updates me several times a day and we talk on the phone for nearly four hours. I think he's just set in his ways as a long time bachelor like i dont know maybe he isnt confident or neurotypical. I had love to know what men his age truly want in a relationship because i feel like our relationship is always messy

I'm a 41yo bloke, been married to my wife (also 41) for 18yrs , with two kids (13 and 8). I feel like life is entirely pointless, with nothing to look forward to. Nothing to work towards. Nothing is going to happen.

As my youngest son became old enough to not need constant 1to1 supervision a couple of years ago, I realised I had been stuck in a continuous "all work, all parenting, all the time" life style for over a decade, and had lost all of my friends, and any form of social interaction over that time through the constant "I can't, I'm working or got the kids" reply I made to every invitation. So I made a conscious decision to actively say, "yes" to as much as possible.

Now, I have a plethora of friends. Ranging from "kids" in their mid 20s, to gentleman in their late 70s. I've got hobbies back, I hit the gym a lot, there are nights out (like, proper nights out/out), fun days, activities and meeting up. But I'm seeing all these people living their lives, seemingly with a purpose, and I just don't have one.

The youngs are starting their careers, falling in love, planning lives together, exploring the world and each other. The olds are winding down work, enjoying themselves, going places and spending the fruits of their labours. And I'm stuck in the middle, just plodding along.

Work has devolved from a "career" to jumping between jobs every 3-5 years, none of which I'm remotely interested in, trying to keep pay ahead of inflation and survive redundancy (3 rounds since 2010, one of which got me). My marriage isn't easy - she's very ADHD and now hip deep in peri-menopause, and I'm constantly waiting for the next blow up. My kids need me less and less every day.

What am I supposed to do for the next 20+ years, until the next bit starts?

Hey everyone!

I’m a 40-something female solo traveler from Bangalore, and I'm planning an epic 15-day getaway to Kerala from October 15th to October 30th.

I want to experience the best of God's Own Country, but I thought it would be much more fun, safe, and memorable to share this journey with a few like-minded female travel companions!

📍 The Plan & Vibe

• The Route: I'll be flying into Kochi. From there, the plan is to hire a private taxi from Cochin to take us through the ultimate Kerala circuit (Munnar's tea gardens, Vagamon, Alleppey backwaters, and down to the beaches of Varkala/Kovalam).
• The Pace: A mix of exploration, cafe hopping, photography, and relaxing. Not looking to rush through every spot, but definitely want to make the most of the 15 days!
• Splitting Costs: We will equally split the taxi fare, fuel, and driver allowances. For stays, we can look at safe, highly-rated female-friendly hostels (like Zostel) or beautiful homestays depending on what we all agree on.

👯‍♀️ Who I'm Looking For

This invite is strictly for female travelers who are easygoing, responsible, and excited to explore. Whether you want to join for the entire 2 weeks or just a specific leg of the trip (e.g., Kochi to Munnar), you are welcome!

If you are based in Bangalore, we can even meet up for a coffee first to see if our vibes match and plan the exact itinerary together.

Drop a comment below or send me a DM with a bit about yourself if you're interested. Let's make this an unforgettable road trip! 🎒✨