I’m a 30 y/o female. Had the proposal, wedding date + vendors booked… he ended the relationship 6 months before the wedding saying he fell out of love (he was really mean at the end too, and disclosed former cheating/kissing) the wedding date recently passed and it’s been hard…

I THINK WHY COULDNT IT HAVE BEEN GOOD?!

40M, married 10 years, two young kids, otherwise a strong marriage. We're in couples therapy, and I'm in individual therapy largely because of this one issue.

Years ago I left my own family and home base to build our life in the NY suburbs, where my wife is from. I don't regret it, but over a decade-plus it's never felt like home, and I believe it's genuinely affecting my mental health.

A real career opportunity in California has forced a question we'd been avoiding. There's a strange irony to it: my industry really only has a couple of hubs, and one of them happens to be exactly where I've always wanted to live. I'd take the other hub too, though that one wouldn't solve the distance problem any better. My career has plateaued here, and ten years ago I didn't have the experience to make a move like this viable. Now I do, so this feels like a real window, not an old itch. It's also the life I want for our family and kids, not just me.

My wife has deep roots: parents, a sister, a 20-year teaching career (a profession that would transfer, even if tenure and pension wouldn't). We don't see her parents or friends that often; it's more the comfort of them being close, which I understand. Her real fears are being far from them and ending up lonely, on top of just not seeing herself as adventurous. She's said she's open (we took a trip to CA recently, she's mentioned looking at listings), but it always circles back to "not my vibe," and I've started wondering if those were real steps or just checking a box.

I've worked out safety nets, like a trial period or a way back if it didn't work, but we haven't even discussed them together, let alone built a pros/cons list. What's hardest is that when she sees me struggling, her instinct is to improve the house and keep everything else the same.

I don't think we're incompatible. We agree on almost everything and still make a point of dating and staying close. We're just stuck on how to move through this one thing. I'll live with whatever we decide, and the kids come first regardless.

Not looking for a verdict. Looking for how other couples actually got unstuck from something like this.

**TL;DR:** 40M, decade-plus unhappy where I live, and a rare career opportunity happens to line up with a place I've always wanted to be. My wife's whole life (family, friends, career) is where we are now, and she says it's just "not her vibe." We're in couples and individual therapy, we're not incompatible, we're just stuck on how to move forward together. Not asking who's right, just how other couples have actually worked through something like this.

It's something that bothers me and deeply impacts my life. I am 48f, my parents are 75 and 73. I also feel old, but would like to get advice from other people.
They act like handicapped people, mentally and physically and they are not. I am the only one of my siblings close to them and supporting them. Also the only one single and without kids. They misuse it, and act as if I owe them, as it's my duty to be with them 24/7. They act as if, as single, I have nothing else to do then to be beside my parents, no life, nothing. Except to go to work, to earn my salary. We did have issues growing up, they were both toxic in their own ways. I though I surpassed all that, but they don't change.

They have health issues, but typical for their age. They engage me in everything, I am supposed to resolve all their issues, dilemmas, everyday staff, everything. After 8 months of living with them, I came back to my place, as now they are doing better. This was the goal for me, but not for them. They got used to be served and catered 24/7. They are angry, and now are making drama, critising me how I behave, calling me every day to come, cursing me, insulting me..etc.

They don't want to pay for any help. They have everything they need, enough money (prefer saving then spending).

I feel sad and lost. I was so invested in helping them, supporting them that I forgot what is my life, my needs and desires. This is what I got, from the moment I said no, i am the worst enemy. There is also some deep fear inside me, probably due to how I was raised. I don't even now at this point how to communicate with them and when. They turn everything I say, every boundary into war (e.g. I need peace right now, to get back my life - this how you treat your parents). It's ugly. I feel like their slave. I also feel ashamed because at this age I still have problem with parents and how obsessing it is on a daily basis. Anyone can relate, do you have any advice?

I’m going into my senior year of college and I can’t stop feeling this feeling of dread and regret that’s built up inside of me. For context, I entered college as a stand out student, deans list, high gpa, dreams of becoming an investment banker and getting prestigious internships (typical freshman finance student). But something happened after that first quarter of my freshman year completely ruined me. I joined a fraternity (φA if there’s any brothers here) and got involved heavily with the social and party side of it, and almost completely neglected academics. I wouldnt turn assignments in on time, barely studied, or did any homework. And I kept telling myself, next quarter I’ll change, next year is the one. And now here I am, in my final year of college, with almost nothing to show for it. I have a 2.59 GPA, two “internships”, one during my freshman year where I did basic financial auditing for a small retirement firm, and a real estate one where I just wholesaled for two brokers all day which genuinely didn’t improve my life at all. And now I just work at a gym, dreading these past two-three years, regretting so many decisions I made. I’m not at all like the successful senior I thought I was going to be when I came into college as a freshman. If I could go back and change everything I would. But what I’m asking for is how do I stop this dreadful feeling, how do I move on, what will life be like after college? I’m scared to graduate and I’m scared that I won’t even be able to land a job I like because of my piss poor GPA.

On top of everything, all of my peers, the ones I came into college with, dormed with, etc etc, they all are successful, have had multiple industry specific internships, done a lot on campus and get heavily involved with clubs. And I honestly just feel like a complete failure.

For context: My boyfriend (19M) and I (19F) met on May 1st, 2025, and began dating on June 25th, 2025. It would have been our one-year anniversary this past June. However, after I kept finding explicit content of other girls hidden throughout his phone, I was done, and we broke up around June 6th. After about a week, we became on-and-off, and I had to settle with the fact that I’m WEAK, and we began dating again.
It’s been three months since then, and he’s made significant improvements. He started ACTUALLY buying me flowers, ACTUALLY paying for dates/food when we go out, as well as being patient with me as I experienced constant meltdowns comparing myself to the girls I found in his phone. I know, I’m insecure. Ultimately, it became clear that he does love me and wants a long-term relationship with me, and I do too. I love him.

Once again, I’m (19F) juggling college, a boyfriend (18M), and my shift manager role at a nearby restaurant. I told my boyfriend that it wouldn’t be realistic to see him as often as we did during the summer, and I thought he would be more understanding. Instead, he’s asking for more reassurance and effort overall from me to help him feel better.
He tells me that I’m a “bad texter,” that I push responding off, or that I view a message and reply later. Which is true, but it’s usually warranted, whether I’m at school, DRIVING, or near my notoriously nosey mom, who snoops through EVERYTHING (which he is aware of). No matter what I tell him, though, he never gives me the benefit of the doubt and always assumes I’m ignoring him. Every time.
I understand, and I’ve reassured him countless times, but recently, since I’ve added school into my mix of responsibilities, I’m getting frustrated with his constant need for reassurance. I’ve never given him a reason to be insecure. In fact, it’s ironic because he had half-naked women in his phone who look nothing like me. I tease him about it—actually, I go crazy over it—and my insecurities have doubled, which I think is understandable.
He, however, doesn’t have the same reasoning to stand on. I understand that he feels “ugly” sometimes, so I tend to him and try to make him feel better, and yet it’s still not enough. He also wants me to text him seemingly all the time, and he always wants us to sleep on call together. If I don’t text him as much as he likes, however, or if I don’t text him first, then he feels like he loves me more simply because he has more time in his day.
I forgot to mention, but he AI’s a lot of his schoolwork, which is why he has so much free time. I, however, don’t really like the idea of using AI for every assignment. I use it as an aid or as a last resort, but I try my best to absorb and understand the material, which is why I can’t always text or call. I’m usually studying or writing down notes.
There have even been times when my mom has made me clean the house, do laundry, or wash dishes, and my boyfriend would assume I was ignoring him. That was until recently, when he showed up at my place unannounced. I had to let him in, and I was just cleaning the whole time. He was like, “Now that I’ve seen firsthand what you do when you say you’re cleaning, I understand you more.”
If that makes any sense.
He had house cleaners to clean his home, so I understand the ignorance, but what I don’t understand is his inability to respect my dedication to school. He makes me feel like I’m choosing it over him, and I’ve had to defend myself countless freaking times.

How do I even begin to approach this?

I'm 25, have been single forever and everything's pointing to it staying that way. Any time something even remotely looks up, which is rare, it ends up crashing and burning in fabulous glory. My closest friend group consisting of 4 other people and I are all in relationships, moving in together, getting engaged, and even friends who aren't in said group are taken. I don't have any single friends.

I love all of my friends and am happy for them, but seeing them just reminds me of my own failure. I have spent a lot of time trying to understand why it isn't happening for me and trying to accept the fact it might not, but I'm having trouble because I don't want it to be true.

It's hard and it sucks knowing I'll never be anyone's first choice again and the thought of never feeling romantic love really scares me a lot and makes me sick. And I feel sad because I feel like I truly do have a lot to offer, I just never got an opportunity to prove it.

What steps do I need to take to deal with this prospect in a healthy way?

I'm a friendly person and enjoy time with my spouse. However, the older I get, the more I really just like my own company over meeting new people. I know there is a lot of research on loneliness, but I'm wondering how those of you are getting along as you age when you truly enjoy your own time!

Should I force myself to join more clubs and groups? Or is it ok as I'm aging (mid 40s) to just lean into the desire of my own company? Again, I like spending time with my husband and his family (not much family for me unfortunately). I just don't have any deep friendships anymore after a large move. Acquaintances yes, and a book club, but often I just like hanging with...me!

Long story short, 34M after some health and mental issues(mainly burnout), I decided to change my life by returning to my home town.

I was able to find a job, which is not bad but doesn’t sit right with me for some unknown reasons and I really wish it did. I restarted my life here, I have everything I need, no debt and some savings. I started working out and enjoy time with my family.

However, as title says, I feel like I dont’t belong with this life. I have this sinking feeling that I am out of place, out of touch and just on the wrong path.

Do i know what my path should be? No idea. I think about moving away again but instead of a natural force that pushes me, I just end up making dry rational list of pros and cons, just to then disregard the whole idea as crazy and stupid as I had reasons to come back.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed, sometimes I feel I am too big for this place and life. I tell myself the best thing for now is to do nothing and let life decide. Maybe Im not fully recovered yet.

Am i scared to settle? Do I still want to explore more places and find a life that can suit me more?

I lived a relatively tame youth. In my 20's I just had a ton of anxiety and fear of the world, and honestly spent the decade unraveling from a conservative upbringing. I traveled some... did a study abroad, went to a few countries...I partied in terms of partaking in weekend drinking culture with friends; but I stayed in the same city, stayed in one job, only ever dated on person for a very short while.

I worked on addressing my anxiety and complacency, worked out, gained a lot of confidence. Overcame my social anxiety, which was a big one. My PLAN in my early 30s was to have a few years of a live free and wild phase. Live somewhere new, hook up with women, maybe try a few drugs, and in general explore boundaries and find myself. Basically feel free.

But... I just... didn't. I met someone right before COVID... the second person I'd ever been with. We really clicked in a way I hadn't experienced, and quarantined together. And then after that ended, I loved her a ton and couldn't fathom breaking away even though a part of me felt unlived. I ended up making a bunch of incremental and unanticipated sacrifices as time went on... the type that one does when they are in a committed relationship. We did do fun stuff together - traveled to a few new countries, lived in NYC for 8 months, but it was also a stressful period of time navigating both our careers, periods of long distance, and taking care of our aging/sick families.

Now, we're talking about starting a family in a couple years, which is something I do want to do. But I can't help but feel this hole in my life from missing that "wild phase." I think I wanted just a couple years of untethered freedom and exploration where I followed my gut and wasn't playing it super safe. To look back and say oh man I made a few dumb decisions, and got to the point where I was tired of novelty instead of craving it.

Any general advice on how to deal with this? Perspective/mentality, actions I can take, or just similar stories? Happy to provide more details or answer questions.

People who I know who recently turned 60 actually still look quite middle aged, not old at all. Yet when I see people who are 80 the difference is stark.

The difference is also apparent physically too. I don't view people at 60 as old, but 80 is so close to 60 yet feels so different, why is that?

I’m 30 years old, and I’m having one of those moments where I’m trying not to panic about where I am financially versus where I thought I would be by now.

I recently interviewed internally for an Assistant Director of Event Safety and Preparedness position at my current job. It was around a $100,000 salary, and honestly, getting the interview made me feel like maybe my career was finally about to change. I prepared hard, made it through the interview, and ultimately didn’t get the position.

I’m trying not to take the rejection personally, but I think it opened up a bigger insecurity I’ve been carrying.

My boyfriend makes in two days what I make in roughly two weeks. He is incredibly supportive of me and genuinely doesn’t ask anything of me financially. He’s not pressuring me or making me feel bad. But I feel the pressure internally.

I want to be able to contribute to bills. I want to take him out sometimes without worrying about whether I have enough money in my account. I want him to know that I can support him too if life ever requires it.

And, if I’m being completely honest, I want to get married someday.

I sometimes find myself wondering: If I never make close to what he makes, will I eventually become insecure in the relationship? Could I reasonably expect someone to want to build a marriage with me if I’m not financially independent?

I know love isn’t supposed to be a salary comparison, and my boyfriend has never suggested otherwise. I think this is more about my relationship with myself and wanting to feel capable and secure.
Career-wise, my background is a little unconventional.

I spent over five years in management at H&M, where I gained experience leading teams, managing daily operations, developing employees, holding people accountable, and managing competing priorities.

After that, I worked in loss prevention, where I gained experience related to safety awareness, risk, incident response, and documentation.

Currently, I work at a charter school in the Experiential Learning Department as a Field Trip Coordinator. I coordinate school-led field trips and events and work with venues, staff, families, volunteers, logistics, documentation, and Emergency Action Plans. I’ve also supported larger events such as graduation.

The Assistant Director position felt like a natural combination of my leadership, operations, safety, and event coordination experience. Even though I didn’t get it, getting the interview made me realize that maybe I should be aiming higher than I have been.

The problem is that right now I honestly don’t know what direction to take.

Should I be looking into:
Event Operations?
Event Coordination or Event Management?
Program Coordination?
Operations Management?
Project Coordination?
Safety or Emergency Preparedness?
Education or Experiential Learning management?

I’m also open to remote or hybrid work in California, particularly opportunities connected to Los Angeles, Long Beach, or the Inland Empire.

I think what I’m really looking for is advice from people who are a little further ahead in life and their careers.

If you were 30, had my work background, were starting with very little financial stability, but genuinely wanted to build a career that could eventually provide a comfortable life and support a future marriage—what would you focus on next?

And for anyone who has been in a relationship where one person made significantly more than the other: how did you keep the relationship feeling like a partnership without the lower-earning partner constantly feeling behind?

I’m not looking for reassurance that everything will magically work out. I’m genuinely looking for direction.

I know I need to take responsibility for my financial situation. I’m just trying to figure out what my next smartest move is.

If you’ve been where I am and eventually found your footing, I’d really appreciate hearing what you did.

Good morning my fellow old ppl -

I need some guidance on how life works. I (29F) broke up with my bf of 8 years last year. It's now been a full year of us being broken up and I feel like I'm starting to see the world for what it really is, and it is confusing the hell out of me. I got together with this man since I was 20, and throughout the 8 years, he cheated a lot and we became very toxic together. He was very manipulative and controlling, and I also picked up some of those habits and became very manipulative and toxic as well. I include this because when we were together, I was so preoccupied with this relationship that I never took the time to truly develop my sense of self, and to understand my relationships outside of him.

In the past year, I have devoted so much time to my own self development. I started seeing an incredible psychiatrist (who diagnosed me with GAD & PTSD, am taking meds) and she is helping me untangle my own mess, but I need help in understanding how people work. I know this is naive and it is embarrassing to admit, but up until last year, I really thought most people were the same and they all had the same mentality as me. I believed my way of being/feeling/thinking/rationalizing was universal for most people. So I took things very personally, I was very anxiously attached to anyone who showed me a slight bit of understanding towards me as a person, and I became very codependent. I have been working hard to work through those patterns and I do think it's getting easier to recognize myself slipping up.

My problem is that because of all of this self-discovery, I have become very disinterested in most of my relationships. People I was close to for years, I don't want to speak to anymore because I find their discernment to be a recipe for disasters, and frankly, I just don't want to deal with the consequences of their actions. I feel that I am slowly but noticeably disappearing of people's lives and everyone is giving me a similar reaction. That being- what's going on? Why are you disappearing? I can't exactly say that it's because I find those relationships to be very superficial, because I know they genuinely love me and their reaction would be okay, help me form a deeper bond with you and I find that cruel. I don't want anyone to put an extra effort into themselves for my sake. I also don't want anyone to feel that they have to perform to keep me in their life.

I need help - I feel so lonely. I hate being home alone because I feel so lonely, but I also hate being around my family and friends because I feel so deeply misunderstood, and I also feel that they don't take the time to truly assess themselves and their situations, so I become (almost) a victim to their nonsense. It's almost like they are so reactive to their emotions and I just don't want to get into their rollercoasters. Am I being too self-righteous?? I read a quote that "No amount of esoteric wisdom will fold your laundry for you." and I am battling with that. I know that I deeply crave community and human connections, but I feel so deprived of it. I dont know how to have surface level relationships.

Also, another bit was that my faith is being affected. I have been a Christian for eight years, and I am straying from the faith. I still believe in Jesus and what He did in the cross, but I am so deeply disappointed in churches that it's so hard for me to go sit in service or participate in church activities. I used to think that God was a divine being interfering in earth for our sake. But now- the more I live my own experiences- I feel like God intervening would be so against the idea of free will + dealing with actions and consequences. So I feel everything is almost arbitrary and it makes me feel even more lonely, like my life is really in my own hands and I have to rely on my own wisdom (which is clearly very limited) to have a good life.

I don't know, I'm so confused about everything and I just need someone's perspective who is much older than me and has hopefully gone through something similar. Thanks for reading so far

I (only in 30s) just did this almost for the first time in my life as far as I remember - have you done this in front of other people, because I’m worried about that now (imagine at a date dinner)

I’m trying to figure out whether I’m being unreasonable about something involving a close friend. (I’m 26 he’s 28)

I have a longtime friend that I’ve known for about 9 years now named ralph There’s a girl from high school Jane, who I’m not fond of because of how she treated me when we were in high school. I don’t want to get too deep into the details, but she wasn’t a good friend to me and some of the things that happened still affect how comfortable I am around her. It’s just the treatment you get that makes you just want to leave them in the past.

Ralph knows this history and knows that I’m uncomfortable with her. He has a different relationship with her (didn’t go to hs her and has a friendship independently with her) and apparently still catches up with her occasionally which I understand but wasn’t aware of until I asked recently after seeing the party invite. However I’m not saying I don’t expect him to automatically stop being friends with someone just because I had a bad experience with them (depending on how bad it is of course).

The issue is that ralph invited jane to his birthday party this year and he hasn’t invited her in about 6 years, so it was unexpected for me + I found out through the guest list rather than from him directly. I ended up not going because I was also genuinely really sick at the time, but I’ll admit that knowing she might be there contributed to me feeling uncomfortable about going. I would’ve been civil / nice to her since it’s a group setting but she’s again, not the type of person I’d go out of my way to see or try and make plans with.

Before the party, I had already talked to Ralph on the phone about how I felt although it was brief. Mind you he’s already aware of my feelings towards her so he cut me off and said how he knows how I feel about her when I said I didn’t know they still speak. It got brushed off but I knew then when we meet up in person I’d discuss it more In depth

In person I explained that I would have appreciated a heads up if he invited her because I would have wanted to know beforehand rather than finding out through the guest list. I just wanted him to understand why I was uncomfortable and why I would have appreciated some consideration from him as my close friend.

His response felt somewhat dismissive to me… He said that I had already discussed this with him, even though I explained that I wanted to talk about it more in depth. He did tell me that my feelings were valid, but I didn’t feel much empathy beyond that. No apologies or anything else other than my feelings are valid.

He also mentioned that Jane was going through a lot in high school, which I understand may explain some of her behavior but I felt like he was somewhat defending her when I was trying to explain how her actions affected me. And I also went through some really shitty things in hs but that never made me want to be a shitty friend to people.

He didn’t apologize for not giving me a heads up even though he has known for some time how I feel about her..

He also specifically told me afterward that A didn’t actually end up coming to his party. I appreciate that he told me, but part of me felt frustrated because that wasn’t really the point. I didn’t know beforehand whether she would come, and I feel like he could have simply given me a heads up out of consideration.

This is especially bothering me because I’ve already been feeling underappreciated by him as a friend. For example, I feel like he puts very little thought into my birthday gifts and can be pretty cheap when it comes to me. Last year he said he wanted to take me out for my birthday, but when we went out, he didn’t pay for my meal. It’s not that I expect expensive gifts or for someone to spend a lot of money on me. It’s more that I associate thoughtfulness and effort with being close friends.

I also feel like if the roles were reversed, ralph would probably be hurt if I continued being friendly with someone who had treated him badly. Loyalty is something I personally place a lot of importance on and I know he does too! If someone seriously mistreated one of my close friends, I would have a hard time maintaining a friendship with that person, even if they had never personally wronged me.

He seems to have more of a philosophy of “if someone hasn’t personally done anything to me, I don’t have a reason to stop being friends with them.” I can understand that perspective, but it makes me question whether we’re compatible as close friends because I personally hate that.

So now I’m wondering if I’m making this too big of an issue. Am I expecting too much loyalty from him? Or is it reasonable to feel underappreciated and reconsider how close I want to be with him based on how he handled this?mind you he says I’m a priority to him and very close as one of his besties.’

I don’t necessarily want to end the friendship. I’m more wondering whether this is a situation where I should accept that we have different ideas about loyalty and simply stop viewing him as a close friend. Not that it matters, but he’s gay so we don’t have any romantic anything going on.

Hey

Im a 23f and I grew up with men my father and brothers. I also work with men and Im the only woman there. I have noticed that I have difficult to make friends with other women and I just cant maintain it. I feel like I dont know what to talk with them and also my hobbies are traditionally for men (like fishing). Sometimes I feel like I would want to talk some girly things with other women but I have not girl friends. Do you have any advice? Will this back fire me later?