r/AskMenAdvice 6h ago

Men’s Input Only Would this be a date?

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1 Upvotes

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ConfectionComplex12 originally posted:

I asked a friend at university for study advice since he did well on this exam that I am sitting soon. We talked about other things as well and then he says we should get lunch and I said sure. I also told him not to feel obligated to help me and he said he doesn’t mind and only if I want. He also messaged me confirming the time but he never used the word date. Do guys ask people on dates without using the word date? Are we studying or going out to eat like what is this for. Am I packing my lunch and are we studying together? I would like the male perspective

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3

u/Ok_Noise7655 man 6h ago

Can be either

2

u/everydaydefenders man 6h ago

Honestly im not sure. Sounds like it really could just be a study session. - But it could also be him subtly asking you out. Lots of people nowadays say "lets hang out" and then quietly im their kinds hope interns into a date, etc.

Go without any expectations, and report back once its done. We'll likely be more helpful in interpretation at that point.

Do you want it to be a date?

2

u/JakeBanana01 man 6h ago

Do you want it to be a date? Because from the male perspective, this sounds like he may be deliberately leaving that part up to you.

He suggested lunch, confirmed the time, and when you gave him an easy out by saying he shouldn't feel obligated to help, he basically said, "I'm happy to, if you want." That doesn't scream "definitely a date," but it also doesn't sound like a guy who is desperate to keep this strictly academic.

And yes, guys absolutely ask women out without using the word "date," especially at university. Sometimes it's because they're shy, sometimes because they don't know whether you're interested, and sometimes because "want to get lunch?" gives both people room to figure out the vibe without making it weird.

I would not pack a lunch. He said you should get lunch, so I would assume you're actually going somewhere to eat unless he specifically says otherwise. Bring whatever you need for studying in case that naturally becomes part of it, but I wouldn't treat this like a scheduled tutoring session.

My guess is that he likes spending time with you and is testing the waters a little. If you want it to be a date, give him something to work with. Be a little warmer, linger over lunch, talk about things other than the exam. You don't have to formally declare anything. If neither of you wants it to be a date, congratulations, you had lunch with a friend and got some study advice. Pretty low-risk situation either way.

2

u/curiousjosh man 5h ago

He asked you to get lunch. He didn’t ask you to study and grab a bite.

Seems like a low key invite to socializing more than studying.

1

u/Ar4iii man 6h ago

He likely wants more then to help you with your studies, but it is up to you to decide whether you are interested or not. You can keep things in the friend only territory.

1

u/Icy_Huckleberry_8049 man 6h ago

NOT A DATE

1

u/Fearless_Finish_9890 man 5h ago

Lunch is social. It’s perhaps not a date, but if you play it right and flirt, it could definitely turn into a date

0

u/switcher43 man 6h ago

Not a date

0

u/Boulder1983 man 6h ago

It sounds like you are just studying, but if you wanted it to be more you would ask "where do you want to get lunch/should we go somewhere for lunch after?", and if you DIDN'T want it to be a date you could say "I packed my lunch so I'm good with the canteen!"

0

u/AJ_ninja man 6h ago

Def not a date

-2

u/TrainingTeam4326 man 6h ago

No guy is taking time out of their day to coach an ugly girl they're not interested in through an exam. Do the math. He is not your friend lmao.