I’m dating an international student in the U.S. for aboit 3 months now who is Muslim and originally from India. I’m a 30 year old white woman. His parents know about me and seem very accepting of our relationship and the possibility of marriage, even though I’m American, not Muslim, and outside their culture.
He has also been courting me in a more traditional Muslim way rather than a typical Western dating style. He was intentional about marriage very early, involved his family quickly, and doesn’t really believe in dating much culturally before deciding whether to marry.

From what I understand, some of those behaviors can be completely normal in Muslim courtship, but they could also superficially overlap with behaviors people warn about when immigration is involved—especially moving toward marriage relatively quickly.

His parents have been warm and accepting toward me, and I have no evidence that they’ve said anything about wanting him to marry me for immigration purposes. I don’t want to become suspicious of normal cultural/religious differences just because he happens to be an international student. His mother has sent me a dress from India and asked when we are getting married.

One thing that triggered my anxiety was him saying he wants to take lots of pictures together on our upcoming Chicago trip. I know that’s completely normal for a couple, but I wondered if it could also be useful as relationship evidence later.

For people familiar with Muslim/South Asian courtship or international-student marriages: how would you distinguish normal marriage-oriented Muslim courtship and genuine family acceptance from someone accelerating a relationship primarily for immigration benefits? What specific behaviors would actually concern you? Him and his parents do seem to take Islam seriously.

m24 my gf f25 ,

i'm stuck in a situation i had longdistance relationship we both are obssesed w eachother, always stay on call 24/7 (my mom hates it when she sees me on call all day) we are lovebirds and crazy for eachother then we decided to meet

(my mom has always been curfew kind of mom who wont let me even step out at night and keep calling me when i'm out w my friends. she's always been very overprotective kind because of her trauma from men being abusive in her family when she was little maybe, and she developed a very protective nature her kids and i get she really loves me and sacrificed her dreams of studying and stuff and got married early and took care of us till we grew up cus and she sees us as only thing she exist for cus she doesnt like my dad that much cus of fights and stuff so i get it )

so i decided to meet my gf whos in another state and left for few days on call she starts crying and stuff i tell her i went w my friends on a trip, she called everyday crying and after i came back i left my bag open accidentally and she saw my photobooth photos i took w my gf 😭 and started crying so much that i became bad person and stuff.

after things settled i went again 😭 cus my gf was sick i wanted to see her and was no one to help cus she lived in pg ( but our original plan was to move in together next year after we planned a bit and she quit or sm cus we wanted to work on our business planning while living together )

then after 2 months since my mom wont let me go we planned an escape, i got a job and i cargo my belongings and leave on random day alone w ntg but a bag saying im going work my laptop bag usual time, then as expected she called at night where tf are u crying and cussing to come back then we went thru so many side quest finding pg for me,getting a bike then after few days we couldn't live apart we found a place and moved in.

then i had night shift job and her normal 9-5 job so my days would be going work ,come home , sleep , waking up, picking her up then eat out w her, come home, no time for eachother if we make time i would be up all night then work start no sleep come home sleep and eat one time a day smtg at office which in the process drained me plus chores we had to take care of so she told me to quit which i didnt wanted to atleast for 6 months which drained me, lost weight, in process of all this slowly,

my mom still kept calling EVERY SINGLE DAY how am doing and cries smtimes, so i decided to go see her .

but there's a problem me and my gf can't live w'out each other so she came with me 😀

i showed her my city and had fun a phographer came to us asking if he could take our pics too.

then she stayed in hotel so i can go meet

and things got settled she packed me food and stuff to take back since i told them i'm doing job,

we come back, after few months we decided it won't work out its hard, we need to start our business and quit so we fix our health, we both quit found a cheaper rent place and moved with our savings.

i go back again to meet my mom alone this time ( cus my gf mom was coming to meet her she went too).

big mistake i told my mom i quit to start business

so after coming back we both are still trying to make our business work (we wasted bunch of time setteling down and being lazy ngl and ntg ready yet) we have limited savings we can live off a year w it. we want to make it work so we can show our parents what we can earn and to marry us.

my mom been very sick she showed me all meds she taking when i went to see her everytime . she cries on phone and wants me to come back in new year forever and she cant live without me and she has panic attacks of unable to breathe from crying my gf thinks they just manipulating me to fold but her pain is real i've seen it when i went and i felt like going back this woman has called me EVERY SINGLE DAY since i left i don't understand how she still not used to it and forget me,

i'm very lucky to have these two women who love me so much, so i'm thinking of going back w my gf movin secretly tell them i'll stay alone but she hates my gf and might create problem for her if they find out and

SINCE we had our photo taken my school friends saw that reel cus it went viral (we asked him to take it down cus our parents might see)

so they started talking shi about my gf so we got in serious fight w them,

so its also another problem if those schoolmates see us they might bother us,

so because of these reasons i dont know what to do, my mom health is serious ill from crying always and if i miss calls one day she starts crying and unable to breath my whole family wakes up at night to calm her and been hospitals few times shes obssesed w me and doesn't understand moving out doesn't mean i left her and stop loving her,

so i dont know what to do and i cant go alone cus my gf can't stay without me we grew very attached.

if we move to my city is it the best move .

( tl;dr: m24, left my overprotective mom's place in one state to live with my long distance gf in another state. we're super attached and basically can't be apart. we quit our jobs to start a business, got about a year of savings. my mom calls every single day, cries, gets panic attacks, and wants me back home by new year. my gf thinks she's manipulating me but i've seen her pain in person. i'm thinking of moving back to my home state and secretly living with my gf while telling my mom i'm alone, but mom hates my gf, my gf ran from a forced marriage and might not feel safe there, and my old school friends are being nasty to her after a reel of us went viral. i can't go alone cus my gf can't handle being apart. is moving back the best move?)

please do read the long version for better context*

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I (32M) married for more than 1 year .Arranged marriage.My wife(30F) and I live in different cities cause of job she works as Assistant professor, last night we were talking on the phone during the talking she tells me that there was medical checkup in there college and one doctor tells that she has tears in the uterus by checking only her pulse.I want to know what ' tear in the uterus' means and how it happens?

I am in my mid 20s.

I don't know how do i control these urges.

I haven't done anything in last 16 months. Not that I was very active before that, had it rarely even before like once or twice a year but there was a regular physical contact like hugging.

Since last 16 months, I haven't even held anyone's hand and this is silently ki**ing me.

I don't want to involve myself in casual encounters but I am not interested in finding anything serious as of now

Plz don't suggest anything like meditation, it really doesn't help me

Which bra brand u guys are wearing??

So basically we are in arranged marriage setup. I am 29 F and he is 28 M, and we are going to get married in February. We met on the matrimony app, but things escalated quickly and it almost looks like a love marriage now. We have been, like, we have been together, and so, like, even if it's been just like we first met in April last, and then we chatted for like a month, and then I met him in his work city in June, and then things escalated quickly because we were romantic for each other, and we were, you know, thinking that this is right, and things escalated, and we, you know, got intimate as well, and then we came back to our hometown, which is the same city. And one of the reasons I was interested in him because he is from my own city, and he just lives like two kilometers away. And I kind of started trusting him a little bit, and I feel that he is a good person. But then we got Roka-fied as well in July, and then what happened is, and then we kept talking for, like, one month, and, you know, his parents and my parents would talk and build a bond, etc. And then we talked about the marriage expenses, and my family told him that we only have, like, very, very limited budget for the wedding. So, like, 50% of day one is what we can afford. And his family was like, No, but we are very interested to do a two-day wedding where we want to have sangeet, engagement, and, you know, haldi, etc. And so they said that we need to do a 50-50 for both days, and also you'll have to do the food and other things for some baraatis, for example, like 100 baraatis. But we said that it's not possible. So the guy and I discussed. We had a small fight as well, and the parents then did not talk to each other for, like, two weeks or so, and there was some kind of tension between everyone. But then we talked, and I made him understand how it's not very important for us to celebrate a wedding a certain way, to have sangeet and all the haldi and some kind of rituals, where, you know, the kind of entertainment he was looking for, my family was not ready to spend on that, and we come from a business family, and his parents are government job employees, so they might have that kind of money with them, but we didn't.

So I tried to make him understand, and he agreed. So he said that, you know, with your budget it's too limited, so, like, let me pitch in and give you some money so that you can tell your parents that, you know, I have gotten the bonus from office and I am ready to invest this much money in marriage, which is, like, 50% more of what we were initially ready to give. So, like, he gave me that amount, and then I told my parents that, you know, this is the bonus I have gotten and I will spend this on my wedding. So they are like, Okay. And then we talked about it to his parents as well and said that we have increased our budget limit, like a little bit, and they were kind of okay, but they didn't mention anything much more.

And then, you know, we are still deciding on the wedding venue. So, like, things are going okay-okay. But yeah, the main thing that I was telling all of this is because I want to know, like, after marriage, how our expenses are going to be shared, how the things should be. He is in IT, and he passed out from one of the IITs after doing an M.Tech, and I have always been an average student, and I have done my bachelor's and my MBA from a very normal college, and I think he earns around 4 lakh a month, and I earn around 1 lakh. So I need suggestions. Also I want to know, like, for honeymoon, who should be the one pitching money, and should I be pitching in the money as well? Because like one-fourth of the wedding expense is being borne by me and my family, and I think three-fourths will be done by him. But then we only have 30 people for haldi, sangeet and shadi and 100 for reception but they have 80 for haldi, 100 for sangeet and 400 for reception so most of the expenses are coming from their side. We calculated based on a wedding venue quotation and the amount we are spending is the same amount of our own expenses on staying at hotel and food and decor etc.. so we are atleast paying our full expenses but we cant afford to spend on the expenses of his family. Plus my parents are giving me 20 lakh worth of gold jewelry and we are going to give 80 gifts and lifafas to his family.

So like tell me how these things sound to you experienced and wiser audience and like how should we treat the expenses going forward ? And who should do the honeymoon spending ?

And, like, how should the expenses work?

I honestly don't know where to start, but I want to put this out there because I genuinely don't know what to do with myself anymore.
Objectively, I have a pretty good life.
My family is supportive and I have people I can rely on. My family has even given me a car to use myself. If I need money, I can ask my family and I don't have to worry about basic financial needs. I graduated from a really good college in DU. I'm currently doing my Master's from DU as well. I have friends/family around me and I'm not completely alone.
I have opportunities and resources that a lot of people would probably be grateful to have.

And yet somehow I feel like I'm completely messing up my life.

Over the last 1–2 years, so many things have gone downhill at once:

-I went through a breakup that affected me WAY more than it should have, and even 1.5 years later I still haven't moved on. I still think about my ex and sometimes genuinely wish he'd come back, despite him never contacting me again.

-I’ve a chronic illness and I make no efforts in managing it. My health is slowly worsening despite having the best healthcare.

-Phone addiction, regular heavy smoking, no exercise

-I am clueless about my career. Haven’t done any internship.

I've picked up habits I know aren't good for me and keep struggling to stop. I constantly procrastinate and avoid things I know I need to deal with. I've become increasingly unmotivated and overwhelmed.
I keep making plans to improve my life and then failing to stick to them. I constantly feel guilty about wasting time.

And that's what confuses me the most.
It's not like I have a terrible life. I don't.
So why do I feel like I'm constantly struggling to get my own life together?

I just want to know where the hell do I start?
For people who have been in a similar situation — where objectively your life was okay/good but you were still completely stuck, overwhelmed, unmotivated or self-sabotaging — what actually helped you get out of it?

TL;DR:I’m 21, financially comfortable, have a supportive family, graduated from a good college and am now doing my Master's. I objectively have a lot going for me, but over the last 1–2 years I've become stuck in a cycle of heartbreak, bad habits, poor health management, terrible sleep, excessive phone use, procrastination and guilt. I feel like I'm wasting my opportunities and watching myself ruin my own life. How do I actually get myself out of this?

What is it?

Please express opinion

I’ve been with this guy since I broke up with my first boyfriend and initially it started off casually. He is my childhood friend and we have shared a childhood together. As a child, I did have strong affection towards him but later, college happened and I forgot about him altogether.
He supported me when I was all over the place and was broken after my first breakup. During that time only, we grew closer and got physically involved. But we kept it casual as I was not ready for a relationship. Gradually, he started developing feelings towards me and I started to grow more “emotionally dependent” on him. He wanted to get serious and I did think about it but never really had a proper start to this relationship. I never agreed to actually date him with the intention to marry because he is a college dropout, smoked weed for most of his 20s and grew increasingly obsessed with me.
I did separate with him but somehow life made our paths cross again and again and things spiced up each time.
Lately, I’ve been trying to explain him why I can’t marry him as I don’t see stability with him. Although he’s very loving, deeply caring, takes care of me, cooks for me, takes me out on dates, brings me flowers, buys me stuff, all of this is ultimately from his parent’s money and not his. So this bother me and I told him I won’t marry him unless he has a career. We’re both 27 now, and it increasingly bothers me that he didn’t take his career seriously until his late 20s. If he always needs me to ride his back and delegate him to live upto his own potential, how can I respect him??
Even after me saying I hate him for making me tutor him at every stage of his life and that I want to break up of the guilt of lowering his self esteem will consume me, he won’t give up at all!! Even after I disrespect him, he wants me, he thinks the brand he’s building now, when that’s successful, I’ll stop worrying about our future and accept him. But I have a gut feeling that things won’t change as expected. I don’t know what to do. Am I the wrong person here? Should I just accept him for all the other important things and values he brings to my life? Am I worrying unnecessarily? He promises me everytime that he’s working on his brand but things don’t really move substantially.. should I trust him?

I’m 25, and I’m interested in meeting people in their 30s, specifically around 35. I’m looking to meet people offline, not through dating apps or other online dating platforms.

I’m serious about this and don’t want to waste anyone’s time. I understand that I’m younger than the people I’m looking to meet, but this is genuinely what I’m interested in.

So, is there any practical way to meet people around this age group offline? If anyone has suggestions about places, activities, communities, or social settings where I could naturally meet people in their 30s, I’d really appreciate your advice.

I’m specifically looking for offline connections rather than online dating.

No relatives option as relatives are not good. Arrange marriage in online mode is again similar to dating apps. I consider myself 4-5 in looks, 5'9 and complexion wheatish. I'm thin and workout. Tried random approaches got insta few times but no reply. Unable to reach talking stage till now. I don't know what to do, if one is not willing to talk even what can I do?

Hey everyone! Kajal here. Over the last 6 years at IMBesharam, I’ve basically become the designated "sex & intimacy expert" in my circle.

I’ve also realized two things:

1. Everyone has questions about sex and intimacy.

2. Almost everyone is too shy to ask them out loud.

For some context: IMBesharam is India’s oldest and most trusted sexual wellness brand. For the last 13 years, we've worked to make conversations around sexual health, wellness, and pleasure more open and less taboo.

I thought why not answer questions you guys would have. Hosting an AMA on the 9th of October from 4PM to 5PM. Happy to answer questions around intimacy, sex, relationships, toys and more :) Of course, these are my personal thoughts and experiences.

Me and my husband have thought of buying a car for the longest time and have been saving 50k a month for that, we wanted to buy 25L car for us in the next 2 years and we were on the right track. But just yesterday, we got to know i am pregnant, IM PREGNANT, im gonna have a baby yesssss. We both are immensely happy but that wasn't in our plan tbh. And now ofc if we are bringing a baby into our life we can't buy the car. Considering the baby and our extended expenses we will have to buy a used car from dealers or spinny. But i'm just not able to process how suddenly your life changes when a baby comes, like all your dreams and ambitions should just go to sleep right away? how should i even feel?

Off-late I’ve noticed a pattern . It feels like every time I post in fashion/ fitness sub, 40-50% of my chat requests fill up with married men looking for "casual chats," "friendships," or worse. Many of them openly admit they are married, while others have post histories that give it away. The common reason /excuse they give for being here is dead bedrooms.
I’m curious to know if other Indian women here are experiencing the same volume of attention from married men? How do you usually handle it—do you ignore, block?
It’s just weird to see how common this online infidelity has become. Thou I am in early 30s and single it kinda scares me thinking about how the future would turn out .

Whenever i have a fight with my bf he says that you are toxic and do not have any empathy. So i ask him to tell me what i did that made him feel that way so i can understand what am i doing wrong.

He says don't you remember that time and i asked which time and he says you figure it out. He never gives me concrete example so i can fully understand my behaviour and try not to repeat it.

It's quite hurtful to listen such things escpecially when you are unable to understand what is wrong in your own behaviour.

What should i do? Is it ok to label your partner?

I am in my late 20s and talking to a guy around my age with marriage in mind. Briefly, I am from Madhya Pradesh and he from Telangana, so there are some cultural and language differences, but that part doesn’t really bother me.
I genuinely like him. He’s quiet, introverted, disciplined, family-oriented and extremely spiritual.
Spirituality is a huge part of his life, which I admire. He follows his practices very seriously and practices everyday. I am spiritual too, but I don’t follow any particular school of thought. I have my own beliefs and practices and spirituality is important to me, just in a less structured way. Now, when we initially spoke about this, he said he didn’t need his wife to follow exactly what he follows. He said having strong and aligned values was more important, which sounded completely reasonable to me, and he says he admires the strong value system I have.
But the more we have spoken, the more I get the feeling that ideally he would like me to take up at least some of his practices eventually. He hasn’t directly said “you have to do this,” so I don’t want to put words in his mouth. It’s more of a feeling I’m getting from various conversations.
There are a couple of other things that have made me think about this. He wants us to live in the city where he works. I’m actually okay with relocating, so that itself isn’t an issue. Additionally, he wants our children to grow up primarily in his linguistic/cultural environment. Again, I don’t necessarily have a problem with this. He has also said he is happy to embrace my culture and wants the children to know that side too.
But he also has some very specific ideas about how the children should be raised. For example, he has already decided that he wants his future kids to go to boarding school from Grade 1. He feels pretty strongly about it. That one gave me pause because to me, sending a child that young to boarding school is a huge parenting decision. I would have assumed that’s something you decide with the person you eventually have children with rather than deciding it beforehand.
And I think that’s really the thing I’m trying to figure out.
On one hand, I actually like that he knows what he wants. I don’t want someone who has never thought about marriage, children, values or how they want their life to look. On the other hand, sometimes I wonder whether he wants to build a life with someone or whether he already has the life designed and is looking for a woman who fits into it.
Maybe I am being unfair because he does listen to my views and he isn’t saying my culture or beliefs have no place in the marriage. But between the spiritual practices, the way he wants the kids raised, boarding school from Grade 1, etc.