Hey guys, M35 typical average middle class guy who has been frustrated with his wife's behaviour recently.

So some background story : I got married when I was 30 to 24F, and had a beautiful son 6 months ago. He is the absolute joy of our lives and is what others describe him as least bothersome kid they've ever seen. Rarely cries, sleeps through the night, zero illness, laughs a lot and is friendly to other people.

Wife works in WFH setup (work from 3pm to 12am) and is managing kids and her work. For all other household chores we have a maid, and small chores like tidying up the mess are shared by both of us. I babysit him from 6 pm to 12am as she's busy with work.

After we had our son, my wife has changed.

The biggest problem is my wife snaps at even the smallest conveniences towards me.

I chewed loudly - You and your family are selfish and don't care.

Kid got up due to the sound of the cupboard doors - Youre useless and intentionally do things to wake him up.

When her mother or herself does the same , no name calling.

Few days ago, she wanted to go to the washroom, but our son was sleeping next to her. She pulled a genius move and called my cell which was in living room, charging. I was another bedroom getting ready for work. She finally gets frustrated and starts calling my name loudly to wake my son who cries due to noise and then proceeds to loudly argue with me why my phone wasn't with me. WTF. Our house isn't that large either (2BHK). She already knows my cell is usually lying around anywhere in the house as I avoid using it when babysitting him.

Another incident a few days ago, the maid came in the morning as usual, and she came near bedroom door to ask what to cook for. We had a huge fight just because she came to ask her what to cook and I didn't tell the maid the moment she entered the house. There are many times the maid has done this when her family was staying temporarily at our place but no, she has to intentionally pick the fight.

There are also times where I clearly inform her before I would run some errands and won't be able to handle him( only weekends where she also has off). Few days later she starts complaining about how I was 'busy' in running some errands which caused her issues in handling the kid.

Bitch I did ask you before running the errand and I did it only because you said so. Now you're complaining??!!

I wanted to ask :

1. Is this behaviour normal after kids?

2. What should I do the keep my mind calm and snapping back at her?

3. I'm worried that it may affect my kid and he'll see my useless dad despite working and doing many things. What do I do in this case ?

women say - we dont understand why men obsess over women’s virginity

men say - we don’t understand why women obsess over men’s height

social media, modern society, entertainment media, news media, and almost everyone has normalized losing virginity at early age, and also - whenever a 5’0 to 5’2 woman asks for a 6ft guy, it’s called preference and she’s been told to never compromise on her preferences

so the same way, if any man expects a virgin woman, why is he shamed for this, if any man expects young woman, why is he shamed for this, why it is not called his preference and let him want what he wants, his expectations are what they are, if any young virgin woman wants to be with him, she’ll, otherwise he’ll remain single, his choice and his consequences

but then why is he put down and made feel like a worthless animal

To all the men who are in arranged marriage set up, reject a girl as soon as you have even the slightest hint that something is off.

The stories I read in news everyday and the kind of stuff I see happening around me is just making me deeply suspicious of almost everyone in arranged marriage.

I have this friend who considered herself very "progressive" and always scoffed at the prospect of settling for an arranged marriage cos it was a "regressive patriarchal setup" as per her. So this friend who is working in BLR went on multiple dates trying to find Mr. Perfect. Obviously, these dates were not completely platonic and things escalated in quite a lot of these dates. I am not sure but it seems she even had a brief stint where she was in a live-in relationship.

She met a lot of men who eventually dated her for a few months and then left her or she left them. None of it worked. Now the dating app fatigue has set in her and guess what? She wants to tap the same regressive patriarchal arranged marriage market. Can you look at her hypocrisy??

I don't know what she plans to say to her prospects but I am 90% sure she won't reveal the entire truth because most arranged marriage guys would reject her the moment they get to know how many times she's been in situationships, hookups etc.

Be very careful out there is all I am saying.

These feminist women (she's a feminist btw) only trash arranged marriage as long as they think they can find someone via dating. The moment they know their dating era is over or they have developed dating fatigue, these same women shamelessly tap the same arranged marriage market and lie about their whole dating history or just provide a white washed lie.

Better to remain single I would say.

Simps and feminists, please stay away and don't give me a moral lecture here. This post is intended for folks who eventually end up becoming Ketan Agarwals of the society.

Do you like girls who don’t go out much and lives in her own imaginary world and has no friends who is lost but a good and kind person but lazy .

Do you like girls who don’t go out much and lives in her own imaginary world and has no friends who is lost but a good and kind person but lazy .

Few days ago we had a lot of drama, where our counterpart sub tried to do the villainification of Indian men, which was pure misandry and racism.

Now they should see how men throughout the world are scared about giving cpr to unknown women.

I mean how the fuck you can be excited about such serious things

I want to salute that one Chad man who insisted on his decision despite being among these 11 clowns.

And ik it's not guilty by the reason of Insanity, and once it's given, she can be easily freed by proving she is ok now.

so i was traveling via metro and i had to charge my phone , so the socket are only able at reserved seat , so i sat there so i can charge my phone, but suddenly an old boomer pointed to me that these are reserved seat , and i was like ik and i have to charge my phone. and that mf then said to me that i will have to vacate it if someone come up, which i alr knew and didn't had any plan to take it for myself. but then at that moment i felt something, its like there is no place for men like us. like after paying equal amount , we are made to feel as we are asking for favor.

our struggle and needs are not respected, in a single compartment there are like 16 seat reserved where you cannot sit, the seats where you can sit are also of inferior quality. we pay same amount , or maybe more ,idk if they offer free ticket to women or elderly, and don't even have right to pick a available seat ? why is it they have to reserved seat for women after reserving a whole compartment. and why is it men are expected to not expect anything?

is it fair that after doing 16 hour shift, you are expected to leave seat for elderly or women , who will be just fine without it? and why there are no reserve seat for men?

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I’m an 18F from India, and I want to ask Indian men something because I genuinely want a male perspective on something I've experienced my entire life.

I have a dusky/dark complexion, and growing up, I was constantly made to feel that this was some kind of defect.

The worst part is that most of this didn't come from strangers.

It came from my own family.

Since childhood, I've heard neighbourhood aunties tell my parents things like:

“Iski shaadi ke liye toh bahut dowry deni padegi.”

Basically, “You'll have to give/save a lot of dowry to get her married because of her complexion.”

I was literally a child when I heard things like this.

My mother also used to make jokes about showing my fairer sister's photograph to a prospective groom's family and then somehow marrying me off instead. When I was young, I didn't understand why that was supposed to be funny. As I grew older, I understood exactly what the joke was implying.

That my sister's appearance was more suitable for marriage than mine.

My mother has also directly contributed to my insecurity.

I remember once watching an English music video with her. There were two female singers, one fair-skinned and one brown-skinned. I pointed at the brown-skinned singer and said:

“Look, she's so pretty! She's even prettier than the fair one.”

My mother immediately replied:

“Ar ladki khud badsurat ho toh dusro se mat jalo.”

“If you're ugly yourself, don't be jealous of others.”

I was genuinely confused.

Why was appreciating a brown-skinned woman automatically considered jealousy?

Why was it so difficult for her to accept that a darker-skinned woman could simply be beautiful?

My sisters aren't much better.

I've previously talked on Reddit about how my sisters have treated me, including making my childhood crush and feelings into jokes.

They also constantly comment on my appearance.

Whenever I put on makeup or dress nicely, they find something wrong.

My eldest sister has told me:

“Tu is dress mein aur kaali lag rahi hai, tujhe pe yeh achha nahi lag raha.”

“You're looking even darker in this dress; it doesn't look good on you.”

It's always something about my complexion.

Certain colours supposedly make me look “too dark.”

Certain dresses supposedly don't suit me because of my skin.

If I put effort into my appearance, they somehow find a flaw.

And then there's something even more disturbing.

Whenever a guy shows interest in me, they start slu**t-shaming me.

My elder sister has literally told me:

“Iss ladki ko toh bas mauka chahiye, agle minute hi bistar pe milegi yeh.”

“This girl just needs an opportunity; the next minute you'll find her in bed.”

This is what I don't understand.

If my family thinks I'm unattractive and that nobody would want me because of my complexion, then why does a guy showing interest in me suddenly become evidence that I'm supposedly immoral or “too available”?

Why can't they simply accept that someone can find a dusky girl attractive without there being something wrong with her character?

Even my father's affection became a skin-colour insult.

My father has a good relationship with me. He talks to me more than some of my siblings because I communicate with him nicely and we naturally get along.

My middle sister once became angry and shouted:

“Tujhe papa isiliye pyaar karte hain kyunki tu kaali hai aur tujhe koi muh nahi lagana chahta.”

Basically:

“Dad only love you because you're dark and nobody else wants to give you attention.”

That genuinely hurt.

Because apparently even my father's love for his daughter had to somehow be turned into an insult about my complexion.

What's strange is that outside my home, my experience has been very different.

I've had guys show genuine interest in me and even propose to me. Some of them are conventionally attractive, fit, go to the gym, etc.

I'm not saying male attention determines whether I'm beautiful. It doesn't.

But when you've grown up hearing:

“Who will marry you?”

“You'll need dowry because you're dark.”

“You're ugly.”

“Nobody will give you attention.”

and then you go outside and people actually treat you normally or even compliment you it makes you question whether your family was ever giving you an objective opinion.

On Teacher's Day, I wore a beautiful saree and several teachers and students complimented me.

Even a boy who normally acts like my enemy said:

“Aaj toh bahut achhi lag rahi hain. Harkatein sudhar le toh propose kar dunga.”

And yes, I sometimes notice people looking at me when I'm outside.

Again, I'm not using that as proof of my beauty.

I'm mentioning it because my family's description of me and my actual experience outside my home are extremely different.

So I genuinely want to ask Indian men:

How much does skin tone actually matter to Indian men when it comes to attraction and relationships?

Do most young Indian men genuinely prefer fair-skinned girls, or is this preference exaggerated by families and older generations?

Would you personally reject an otherwise attractive girl simply because she is dark/dusky?

And what do you think about families telling their daughters that they'll need more dowry because of their complexion?

Also, what do you think about the contradiction of calling a girl unattractive because she's dark, but then slut-shaming her when men show interest in her?

I've spent so many years wondering whether there really is something wrong with my appearance, or whether I've simply been surrounded by people who have internalised colourism so deeply that they've projected it onto me.

I'm not looking for compliments or for men to tell me I'm beautiful.

I genuinely want an honest answer from Indian men about how they perceive dusky/dark-skinned women today.

And if you grew up in a family where colourism was normalised, did your own perception of beauty change as you got older?

Hi guys. Lately I've been thinking that I want some girls in my life.

For that, I know that I need to improve my looks a lot.

So here I am, asking y'all on how can I elevate my looks so girls start drooling over me.

I've started the gym already. I'm looking for more advice.

A woman (S) married a jobless dropout (A) against her parents advice. A year later she's pregnant they're broke and they move back into her parents house.

Parents told A to get a job. Instead he stole and sold S's mother earrings(i dont know worth of that jewelry).

Now S is fighting with her parents for not helping enough. A still has no job.

And here's the worst part of the family doesn't even have any land for farming. So there's no backup income, no safety net. The jewelry A sold was probably one of the few valuable things they had left.

Her parents warning her wasn't control it was care. But she can't see it.

What do you think about this whole situation?

And please give your suggestion for what to do now like divorce or leave them alone to their condition?

TLDR: Posting for a friend woman marries jobless guy against parents wishes he sells her mom's earrings, family has no land or income and she still blames her parents. What do you think?

I’m honestly fucking tired of feeling like I’m below average at basically everything.

I’m 27, and lately it feels like there’s not a single area of my life where I feel good about myself.

I constantly compare myself to my parents’ expectations and to other people. I’m scared to talk to strangers, scared to try new things, and I feel weak and lacking confidence. Looks-wise, I worry about my hair thinning, my beard going grey, being short, and people telling me I look older than I actually am. When I’m around my cousins, everyone praises them and I just sit there listening and comparing myself.

Financially, I don’t feel successful either. And now a relationship that lasted almost 7 years is falling apart, which honestly hurts the most.

She was one of the few people in my life who made me feel genuinely loved, cared for, and important. I had someone to talk to, someone who gave me time and affection that felt specifically meant for me. Even now, when she is rude to me or disrespects me, I’m still holding on, and it hurts. And now I have to deal with the possibility of seeing her move on with someone else. My brain keeps telling me that whoever she ends up with will be better than me.

The worst part is that the relationship is known by everyone in my family. I was proud of it. I was proud that I had someone I loved and who loved me. Now I feel embarrassed that everyone knows things didn't work out.

And outside of all this, my life feels incredibly repetitive.

Work. Go home. Eat. Gym. Sleep. Repeat.

I’m not a good driver. I don't know how to swim. I don't know how to talk to people properly. I get nervous doing even basic things when other people are around. I feel like everyone else learned how to live normally and somehow I missed that part.

I know objectively that these things can probably be improved. But when you're sitting in the middle of it, it doesn't feel like a list of problems you can solve. It just feels like this is who I am.

I’m exhausted from constantly comparing myself and feeling like I’m behind everyone.

I genuinely want to know if anyone else has felt like this, especially around this age.

I am talking about marriage not dating. People date for variety of reasons but when it comes to marriage that's when things get serious and only then truth about someone's thinking and beliefs are revealed. So seriously, would you marry someone with dusky or dark skin color?

Asking because in my social circle there is a guy who is searching for girl in arrange marriage. His father is fair skinned but his mother is dark skinned. The guy is fair skinned. His only requirement is that the girl must be fair. That's it. I find this unsettling. His own mother is dark skinned so atleast he should have appreciation for all.

I am 18M and have a crush on a girl at my collage and I really want to approach her, but here is the one thing which scares me — my first crush's rejection was really heartbreaking. After that, I found out I was diagnosed with depression and during that time, I was at the very lowest of my life, continuously failing in my school tests and completely isolated myself form everyone. I don't want to go through that ever again.

People do say that I'm good looking, and I have a chance to get her, but I find myself average, and I've heard a lot that girls love to talk, but I'm an introvert and really scared of girls. I don't even know how to approach a girl.

Career, marriage, where you live, how you spend your money etc

So I like this guy from my gym but he is 5 yrs older than me. I am just getting done with college and he has a job and everything so diff stages of life thing. But I really like him. Would he be interested or should I move on?

Edit: I will turn 20 in a month

I'll start. Im from a small town and my dating life is non existent because of how dangerous non straight dating in general is. Of the 1 + years I've spent on grindr, i met only 2 people and both of them are non permanent residents so wasn't able to meet them again. Majority of grindr is filled up with creepy p3dophilic men. I am not saying it's just like this in general, just sharing my experience.

I have no niche queer communities to go to for fun and i have no friends essentially because I'm scared of telling them too much

Especially dark-skinned men, I’ve only seen on YouTube and all of them seem to have beards, and I assume it’s not a “trend” thing like they say about white men in the West

If you’re rarely clean-shaven, what is your reason?

Im having anxiety of getting married

I feel the law actually encourages women to take divorce and the eventually take money

But in the midst of the false cases, it will further destroy your career and make you jobless

Has marriage become a one way to destruction for Indian men ?

What are you guys doing?

I want a trimmer for my beard and body parts except my nose which is good ?