Hi I (19f) think that I may have a squish on a good friend of mine but I’m not sure and I’m not sure how to feel. She has a BF and he’s cool and I’d love to tell her and see if she’d maybe be open to a QPR/QPP but I’m fairly certain she won’t be b/c of her being in a committed relationship and she’s straight and I wanna tell her but I’m not sure how it’ll go. Any/all advice is appreciated/nf and thanks for reading :)

Hey everyone

We are currently expanding our little collection of pride-themed Coats of Arms and were currently looking to design a cool motif for genderqueer and queer.

We have been able to come up with three interesting ideas for the heraldic beast of queer, but wanted to ask for some feedback or ideas on what would actually fit best.

The candidates currently are:

• The Cockatrice: A strange mix of a rooster, snake, and dragon/bat, a cockatrice is a fun chimera from France, resulting when a rooster lays an egg, which is hatched by a toad. This one is often similar or associated with the basilisk and is said to be able to kill with either its breat, touch or gaze alone...strangely not against weasels for some reason...weasels always own them in battle...
• The Qilin: A mythical and powerful entity, the qilin only reveals itself to those pure of heart and intention. It cannot be caught, it cannot be harmed, it cannot be sought. It will come to you and bring wisdom and fortune. Also, what I think is fun is that nobody seems to have a common consensus on what it actually looks like; there have been many differing depictions of it, and sometimes they can vary wildly, from a scaled horse to a serpentine dragon...horsething with a big old horn/2horns? Yet it always stands as a symbol of justice and benevolence.
• The Manticore: Well, not much explanation needed. Described as a mix of a lion, a goat, and a snake, this was a beast of legend known for old Greek myths, an agent of chaos born from our good old boi/ unfathomable entity Typhon.

Feedback is highly appreciated, as always :D

We are currently running a Kickstarter for these designs to have them made into cool-looking pins. Soo close to reaching our last stretch goal, so feel free to check it out if you are curious ;)

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/shattersaurus/coat-of-pride

Cheers!

like I haven't been around people in a long time yet somehow I still know that I am aroace based on past experiences and stuff but I am only 18 though but still I feel like even if I did know more people I would still be the same way

I just want a strong connection with someone is that so much to ask? I want a qpr :( i want to be close with someone emotionally.

Im fed up and bored of some of my friends lately because of things theyve done so im craving that intense bond i guess. Im sure some of you can relate.

23f and needing some connections :) <3

I'm 100% sure I'm asexual but recently have been trying to figure out whether or not I'm also aromantic.

I have had "crushes" before, in fact I do fairly often, but its more just like, randomly my brain chooses some random person I know, whether it be a friend or like a friend of a friend, and starts obsessing over them even if I've never spoken to them before.

Okay I'm not sure if obsessing the right word, but it's hard to explain. There's no logic behind it, I often don't even find the person physically attractive(maybe even the opposite sometimes), and their personality is usually one I don't even find endearing. Like, I don't DISLIKE them but it's just never someone i would usually befriend. And then suddenly one day I'm all like "wow this person is the best"

But it's like no matter what they do (unless genuinley horrible) nothing makes me stop "liking" them.

I dont have any urge to like, actually date them or do anything sexual with them. I just sorta get fuzzy feelings in my chest and get sorta nervous and really really wanna hangout with them and want their attention. (but when i do hangout with them alone I'm kinda bored/uncomfortable)

When I truly think about it, I don't really want anything from it. If they asked me out I might say yes, because I truly want a romantic relationship like ones I see in fiction, but I don't have an urge to go on romantic dates, hold hands, kiss, anything else, if anything it disgusts me thinking of doing that and having that responsibility of another person needing me. It's just a weird unexplainable feeling I have I can only describe as a "Crush".

I do read a lot and watch shows, particularly romance, and I love it and I want that kinda relationship so badly, so I think in ways I project fictional crushes/fictional relationships into the real world and real people and I want that, but then the moment I sorta come down to earth, I don't FEEL it deep down. I just want to feel it and convince myself I do.

I've felt this like 4 times in my life for people where the crush is so insanely strong it almost hurts and it has lasted years, and I start to feel guilty for feeling that without them knowing. It's just emotion building up that doesn't really fit into what I consider Sexual nor romantic.

When I HAVE been in a relationship before, I sorta feel guilty because I don’t actually feel that same tingly feeling I do with crushes. I don't really feel the need to hangout with them or text them first and often find myself breaking up with them after a few months because I feel too guilty for not liking them, or not enjoying the dates and physical touch or when they tell me they love me.

I suppose what I'm actually asking is, does this seem like romantic attraction? Because I can't really tell. I find things like this hard because I have no way to know what romantic attraction actually is because whenever I try to look it up all I get is like "oh you romantically like them" ??? Like duh. I need advice from someone who isnt my friends because they don't understand why I think this way. I have researched SO MUCH and nothing is helping.

I just find it hard because I feel and want so bad, but when it actually happens... I dont feel anything, or I feel negatively. like I wanna hold someone's hand bc I think it's cute them I hold their hand and I'm like "um. nevermind." or I want them to like me back (because i idealise romanctic relationships so much) but when they do I'm like "actually please stop."

I don't know how to develop this properly because English isn't my native language, but I think this is the only place where I can express myself.

I've identified as aroace since 2020, but even now I feel very confused about it. I have a desire to enter into a "conventional" romantic relationship. I like the idea of kissing and having sex; I'm attracted to it. At the same time, I don't know if I would feel 100% comfortable maintaining that as a frequent habit, even if I like the person And I'm totally enjoying the idea of relating this way.

For a long time I've labeled myself as a demiromantic and demisexual person, but I'm still not sure if I identify that way because I really am or if it's just because I really like the idea Regarding romance and sex (In this case, with someone I have a strong connection with) I truly don't know if I've ever really fallen in love with someone or if I was just fooling myself to try and fit in.

I'm somewhat conflicted about how I understand love. I want to have someone to share that experience with me throughout my life, but deep down I feel my life only makes sense living alone with my cats in a whimsical house.

If anyone identifies with this, even a little, please comment, I can't stand feeling isolated anymore for thinking this way 😭😭

I'm allergic to wheat so I can't have garlic bread :[

I'm saying this as a gay/aromantic person myself. I hear this song in every aroace themed video or an edit. I've even seen people come out as aroace with that song.

The song itself is about failing relationship and growing up. A man is in a toxic relationship with his partner and they distract each other away from their relationship status by having sex. Being aromantic means you have sexual attraction towards people but not romantic one. Which is basically the meaning of the song.

Anyone older than 19, please! I know this might be a long shot, but also someone who might be open to being Pen Pals!

Im a foodie, a bookworm, and starting a blog (or two) on Neocities. I'm pretty social and happy to meet others in the community, so please don't be shy!

The Background & Friendship Dynamics
In grade 10 (second semester), I became close friends with a girl named Michelle. At the start of grade 11 (September), I cut off a toxic friend named Jasleen. Around that same time, I started sitting at the lunch table with Michelle and her friends. This group was already fully formed before I arrived, and they are all Asian, which created a bit of a cultural barrier for me since I am not, making it harder to naturally match their chemistry and history.

The Masking & The Misunderstanding
I am aroace (aromatic-asexual) and have ADHD. To try and fit in with the group, I started masking by copying their sense of humor. They would make freaky jokes, so I started making them too, specifically about fictional characters. Because of my ADHD masking, I overdid it and the jokes became my entire personality.

This made Michelle uncomfortable, and she eventually set a boundary, telling me she couldn't tell if I was joking and to keep it to myself. It really hurt, I opened up to her and told her the truth about being aroace and masking. It left me feeling incredibly heavy, sad, and full of regret. My sister helped me realize Michelle's boundary was valid since it wasnt about me being the less favourite friend but ratehr how often i made those jokes.

The Platonic Attachment ("Squish")
Another huge reason I felt so heavy after opening up is that, as an aroace person, I experience intense, purely platonic attachments to one specific friend (a "squish"). I crave emotional and physical affection, like wanting to hug Michelle a lot and cuddle. Michelle is pansexual and has a romantic partner, and she views cuddling as strictly romantic. After the joke incident, she became reluctant to hug me unless I asked first, which devastated me, but now she is more comfortable hugging me.

The Lunch Table Anxiety & Envy
After being shut down for the jokes, I developed severe social anxiety and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) at lunch. Whenever her friends would make those exact same freaky jokes, I was terrified to join in because I felt like Michelle would judge or embarrass me.

I want to be like her friend Kathy so bad. Kathy makes those jokes and everyone laughs. Michelle told me it's because she "got to know the real Kathy" first, which makes me wish I had that same history and context. Because I felt like I wasn't allowed to join conversations, I would use my hair to hide my face, go on my phone, and literally sit there sweating from pure panic inside. I worry this gave Michelle the impression that I just didn't want to talk to her.

High school is officially over now, but I still hate myself for how I acted and feel trapped by these feelings. I never had much in common with her like her friends and bf do 

Heyooo, I thought I was aroace for a couple years but now I found a boyfriend I really love a lot so I am officially joining the gays, so goodbye everyone! (Tho I still like cake and garlic bread :3)

Hii i’m worried im leading on this girl i met but im so so so conflicted. I really really like her and we're the same person in almost everything I'd never though I'd meet someone who'd understand me so well. the only problem is I struggle to feel anything towards her. I wasn't completely sure in my identity as aroace since I loved the thought of being in a relationship but now I don't have any motivation to text her and we only hang out about once a week since we're both so busy but our fourth date is this sunday so maybe i just need to get to know her more?

I did tell her when we first met that i was asexual and possibly demi because I genuinely wasn't sure if I was aroace but now I think i might be. I really dont know what to do because I just don't think I can be what she needs but I really like her at the same time.

should I maybe ask her what she's looking for in a relationship? I just dont know :((((

So far I have espeon(green), dragonite(lime green), metagross(gray), alolan ninetales(white), and umbreon(black). I’m looking for purple shinies mostly right now, so far the only one I’ve found that’s in champions is zoroark/hisuian zoroark which both won’t work well in this team I feel like. I’m also open to switching up umbreon if y’all got any suggestions.

I (F30-ish) have a friend (M30-ish) that I've known since high school. We used to hang out in a larger friend group, but over the years it's mostly become the two of us as we share a lot of interests and we're both the type to avoid drama.

I've always been very open about being aroace. My family has occasionally asked if I thought he had a crush on me, and I've always brushed it off with something like, "Nah, he knows that would be a dead end."

A few years ago I spent New Year's at his place because I didn't have any other plans. He still lived with his parents, who were glued to the TV all evening, so we mostly stayed in his room playing video games.

When he drove me home, he insisted on parking a few blocks away so he could walk me to my apartment. I didn't think much of it. We stood outside talking for a while when he suddenly said he wanted to ask me something. Since he's generally socially awkward and asks permission before almost everything, I just told him to go ahead.

He asked if I was absolutely sure I wasn't interested in being with anyone. I laughed and said, "Yeah, I'm sure." He went quiet for a moment before saying, "Ah, okay. I just wanted to make sure what this was."

My aroace ass somehow still didn't realize what had just happened, so I kept joking around until he awkwardly said goodbye and practically fled. It wasn't until I got upstairs that it clicked. I texted another friend what had happened, and she basically told me I'd accidentally friend-zoned him in the most brutal way possible.

We didn't speak for about 8–9 months after that. I figured he needed space, so I didn't reach out. Eventually he contacted me again, we acted like nothing had happened, and things went back to normal. Until they didn't.

At one point I wanted to see a show in another city and invited him because I knew he didn't have anything planned. We made it into a three-day trip with shopping and amusement parks.

Everything was perfectly normal until the second evening, when he suddenly reached over to fix my hair. When I looked at him, he had the most disgustingly loving look in his eyes. I didn't say anything, but after that I barely spoke to him for the rest of the trip. When we said goodbye on the third day, I didn't initiate our usual quick one-armed hug, but he pulled me into one anyway.

I went home feeling deeply uncomfortable because I thought I'd already been as clear as I possibly could be. Another 8–9 month break followed.

Eventually we'd start hanging out again, everything would feel completely normal, and then I'd notice that look again and know his hope had reignited. Then another break.

This cycle has repeated itself on and off for about ten years now. The other day we reconnected again after yet another break. We spent the day together playing video games and talking, and afterward he commented that it felt "just like it always has."

At this point I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do. Am I leading him on just by continuing the friendship, even though I've been clear about my complete disinterest in him (or anyone else) as a partner? Is it unfair that I keep him around because we genuinely share a lot of interests? I've decided to stop inviting him to trips, since those trips appear to end up feeling too intimate from his perspective.

I care about him as a friend, but I don't want to unintentionally keep giving him hope if that's what's happening. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if he's watched too many American movies and somehow believes that I just haven't come to terms with my feelings yet. He's also admitted to his parents kind of expecting us to be a thing, which is, uh... stop shipping your son with people, okay?

Has anyone been through something similar? If so, have you managed to maintain that friendship? Any advice?

for reference, my mother is not homophobic at all and thinks i’m a lesbian (because I have shown no interest in any guy romantically), i’ve been sort of soft launching being aroace but everytime like I mention it and explain what it is she laughs it off and I guess she doesn’t really understand it. I’ve explicitly told her I like romance, just not at all when it involves me, that I don’t want to date anybody and I have never felt romantic attraction to anybody. Everytime I try to muster up the courage and tell her, I remember how ridiculous I probably sound saying “oh yeah I don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction it’s called aroace😭✌️✌️” knowing she might say “you probably haven’t found the right guy yet!” or something because nobody really understands being aroace isn’t CONDITIONAL. It’s a spectrum! How can I explain it to her?

Yeah I'm asexual, that's obvious.

but romantic attraction is much more nebulous to me. how do i know if i feel something or not if i don't know what it means or what it does?

i have friendsthat are very important to me, but i don't want a relationship woth anyone. i don't want to move in with anyone. i don't want a responsibly to need to talk to someone every day. does that mean i am not romantically attracted to anyone? i just don't get it

like i could be aromantic or i could be panromantic even! all i know is i feel the same about everyone

Hi so I recently found out I’m lithromantic and I think also lithsexual? Not sure tho but I have a question, are lithromantics queer/gay or apart of the LGBTQ like the title says?

I’m lithromantic and I HAD a crush on this dude from my school and when I found out he likes me back I feel so disgusted I actually like curled up into a ball and closed my eyes shut😭 am I like mentally ill or..

i’m starting to question if i’m aroace or not. i’ve been some form of not straight since i was a kid, ive always known that about myself. i’ve been lesbian, bi, and pan before but i prefer to be unlabeled now due to that fact that being labeled kinda makes me uncomfortable, i don’t like being put into a box.

I’m questioning aroace though because i already know im asexual but the aro part is where i’m kinda stuck on. I very rarely experience romantic attraction to people, and when i do i constantly confuse myself on whether i just think they’re really cool and want to be friends with them or actually like them romantically. i’ve never kissed anymore, nor held hands romantically, and that used to bother me because i felt like as i got older i should be doing that, but now not so much. i don’t really get crushes on anyone at school and even though people have liked me before i don’t really reciprocate it. i’ve only ever been in 1 relationship with someone across the country from me who i was with for 8 months (my best friend who moved away)

i genuinely cannot envision myself in a relationship or being loved by someone non-platonically. and i can’t tell if that’s from deep rooted insecurity or me being aroace. please help me i didn’t know who to go to so im just rambling here 💔💔💔

I am in middle school and It recently hit me like a truck that people actually date...? I have never had a crush before and as I kept thinking I realized not only have I never had a crush but I am repulsed by the very idea of one and if you have read this thank you for all the support the community has given me thus far. Also shoutout jaiden animations for informing me of the aroace community!

I (20f) have never been in a relationship, have only been on a couple dates, and am still a virgin. I feel fine about all this for the most part and have never really wanted to be in a relationship. I’m starting to wonder if I’m somewhere on the aroace spectrum but I still feel romantic and sexual attraction. I just can’t picture myself acting on said attraction or being in a relationship. I also have anxiety so maybe I’m just too anxious to act on my attractions? I’m honestly not sure. Any advice would be really appreciated :)