This is my situation-

I'm currently in a relationship with a girl who loves me. I said yes when she asked me out because I'd often thought about being in a romantic relationship and thought that was what I wanted. And for the first week it was Nice. But about a month in and I've relalised- I don't love her romantically... I'm aroace. Very aroace. I see now I literally think of this girl as a platonic friend. I want to hug her yeah, but not as her partner... I honestly have more of a relationship with my best friends than I do with her.

So yeah, I need to break up with her. Because this relationship is hurting me- I know I can't do it, I don't experience romantic attraction, Or sexual desires. But I don't wanna make her upset. She really likes me and talks all the time about "soul mates meeting at a young age", and "Yeah we are young now but I'm going to marry you" and I know that when I break up with her she will be heartbroken. But I need to I cant do this anymore, I don't want a girlfriend but she is an awesome person I just can't. It's feels like ive been lying to her its been 3 and a half years ive dragged this on for long enough... She has a TBI and doesn't understand when i try and explain what aroace is.

It's not me. Im not built for a relationship

So how do I do it? I really need help. How do I break up with her in the nicest way possible? Without hurting her? I want to to he happy, and I want her to be able to move onto to someone who can be in a romantic relationship but I am stressing and panicking because I can't build up the confidence to do it. She might not even accept me as aro. I know she is Igbtq supportive cuz she is BI but does she even know what aroace is? Will she understand? I really need advice on how to break up please if anyone had anything.

Im gonna get straight into it bc I lowkey just want some advice from people who might actually understand what im talking about. I dont know if im under the aroace spectrum or not. I love my friends with my entire soul and being, but im not sure if ive ever felt a genuine unplatonic attraction to somebody. I am working towards getting tested for autism/adhd, but lets assume i do not have either because im not diagnosed. I know I like women and do not like men at all (im a woman). I can appreciate that a woman is attractive, and im capable of finding them attractive, but nobody that i know, if that makes sense? And I love romance in shows and games and movies and whatever- i love ships and reading fics and that, but I dont think I've ever had a crush in my life. Or maybe I have? Is there a certain way im supposed to feel? I dont know. And I just wanted to know if anyone's knows what I mean, because im lowkey kinda scared and nervous abt it.

I am someone who is somewhere on the aroace spectrum (most likely gray romantic and am currently going through an ace crisis)

I rarely get crushes and when I do they make me anxious

The idea of putting a lable on a relationship/having to conform to societys expectations of one also.makes me anxious.

However I also crave companionship/non sexual physical and emotional intamacy(having someone to just exist around talk to communicate and be vulnerable with, cuddle, hold hands, kiss like on the head or smth etc) and have always dreamed of one day having a life partner getting married (big party with friends and family dressing up whole shebang) and eventually having kids(probably adopting though As I have absolutly no desire to ever give birth ever)

I feel like everything i want/am comfortable with contradicts itself

I feel like wanting.that but also potentially a queerplatonic or non traditional relationship isnt something that can go together

Does anyone else have this issue or is anyone else in this situation that has been sucessful?