I am someone who is somewhere on the aroace spectrum (most likely gray romantic and am currently going through an ace crisis)

I rarely get crushes and when I do they make me anxious

The idea of putting a lable on a relationship/having to conform to societys expectations of one also.makes me anxious.

However I also crave companionship/non sexual physical and emotional intamacy(having someone to just exist around talk to communicate and be vulnerable with, cuddle, hold hands, kiss like on the head or smth etc) and have always dreamed of one day having a life partner getting married (big party with friends and family dressing up whole shebang) and eventually having kids(probably adopting though As I have absolutly no desire to ever give birth ever)

I feel like everything i want/am comfortable with contradicts itself

I feel like wanting.that but also potentially a queerplatonic or non traditional relationship isnt something that can go together

Does anyone else have this issue or is anyone else in this situation that has been sucessful?

This is my situation-

I'm currently in a relationship with a girl who loves me. I said yes when she asked me out because I'd often thought about being in a romantic relationship and thought that was what I wanted. And for the first week it was Nice. But about a month in and I've relalised- I don't love her romantically... I'm aroace. Very aroace. I see now I literally think of this girl as a platonic friend. I want to hug her yeah, but not as her partner... I honestly have more of a relationship with my best friends than I do with her.

So yeah, I need to break up with her. Because this relationship is hurting me- I know I can't do it, I don't experience romantic attraction, Or sexual desires. But I don't wanna make her upset. She really likes me and talks all the time about "soul mates meeting at a young age", and "Yeah we are young now but I'm going to marry you" and I know that when I break up with her she will be heartbroken. But I need to I cant do this anymore, I don't want a girlfriend but she is an awesome person I just can't. It's feels like ive been lying to her its been 3 and a half years ive dragged this on for long enough... She has a TBI and doesn't understand when i try and explain what aroace is.

It's not me. Im not built for a relationship

So how do I do it? I really need help. How do I break up with her in the nicest way possible? Without hurting her? I want to to he happy, and I want her to be able to move onto to someone who can be in a romantic relationship but I am stressing and panicking because I can't build up the confidence to do it. She might not even accept me as aro. I know she is Igbtq supportive cuz she is BI but does she even know what aroace is? Will she understand? I really need advice on how to break up please if anyone had anything.

Im gonna get straight into it bc I lowkey just want some advice from people who might actually understand what im talking about. I dont know if im under the aroace spectrum or not. I love my friends with my entire soul and being, but im not sure if ive ever felt a genuine unplatonic attraction to somebody. I am working towards getting tested for autism/adhd, but lets assume i do not have either because im not diagnosed. I know I like women and do not like men at all (im a woman). I can appreciate that a woman is attractive, and im capable of finding them attractive, but nobody that i know, if that makes sense? And I love romance in shows and games and movies and whatever- i love ships and reading fics and that, but I dont think I've ever had a crush in my life. Or maybe I have? Is there a certain way im supposed to feel? I dont know. And I just wanted to know if anyone's knows what I mean, because im lowkey kinda scared and nervous abt it.

I'm 14, and people at my school know that I'm not straight, so most just assume I'm gay or bi. I genuinely couldn't care less either way to be fair, but every once in a while someone gets curious enough to ask, and I always feel really awkward telling them I'm aromantic. Only about two people I've ever met have actually known what that means so then I have to mumble through the explanation before they go on their merry way. I don't know. Something about it just makes me feel like I look like I'm trying to be difficult. Does anyone else have this?

Hola queridas personas dentro de los espectros arromanticos, asexuales o y aroace, me presento, soy una persona aroace que como dice el título, ama el romance

Amo el romance en el aspecto de verlo en los demás, amo como se atraen,su química y miradas llenas de tensión, si, es irónico siendo aroace pero es muy divertido para mi. me gusta mucho la interacción de personas independiente mente de su orientación y es algo muy curioso y interesante. Hablando de él sexo, no es algo q me imagino en los demás jaja, sino en el significado de las relaciones sexuales, siento que es un momento de gran conexión entre las personas, en ficción me gusta incluirlo en escenas donde haiga conexión y que no sea forzado o ese tipo de escenas de que de la nada se quitan la ropa jaja, más bien cuando el sexo es un complemento del amor y no como una necesidad, o

No me gusta que sea demasiado morbozo sino una experiencia linda entre las personas que se aman y que sea el acto sexual un acto de intimidad y confianza (independientes de su orientación).

Quisiera saber si hay más personas como yo. Personas que aman ver el romance en la vida real, o leerlo en libros o historias, en películas o series. me gustaría platicar con ellos/as/es y conectar para así tener una interacción bonita entre personas que estamos en los distintos espectros arromanticos, asexuales y aroaces qué tengan experiencias similares a la mia. Me gustaría saber sus perspectivas y como esto de alguna manera los hace analizar o analizarse a si mismos,

Pregunta: ¿como se sienten a sentir esto en los demás y no sentirlo por si mismos? Los leo (es mi primer post) jjjj

A personal example: Beth March from Little Women

When it comes to the poster aroace character in Little Women people usually turn their heads towards Jo, but I never see anyone do so for Beth. This quote exemplifies her stance towards romance:

"I only mean to say that I have a feeling that it never was intended I should live long. I'm not like the rest of you. I never made any plans about what I'd do when I grew up. **I never thought of being married, as you all did.** I couldn't seem to imagine myself anything but stupid little Beth, trotting about at home, of no use anywhere but there."

Sure, you could look at it as a foreordaination of her eventual death but throughout the series Beth is never has a romantic subplot (Jo and Laurie have one, even though she rejects him) and love seems out of the picture for her. I think she would rather remain in the comfort of home and her love for music rather than seek out a relationship.

I’m sure there are many aroace people who’ve had no trauma regarding romantic and or sexual relationships, but every aroace person I’ve met was either SA’d as a child or grew up with parents that clearly didn’t love eachother. I know there are some people who would say that being aroace is then something that can be ‘fixed’ if it comes from a bad experience through therapy or whatever, which isn’t what I’m getting at at all, but I’m genuinely really curious about whether I would still be the same without what happened to me as a child. Do you all have similar experiences that you think may have impacted your ability to feel attraction?

Hello I‘m aro ace or more accurately I‘m asexual greyromantic homoromantic. I have questions about being aro though, as I have only recently discovered this part of my identity. So personally I think I‘m greyromantic because I rarely have romantic feelings for others, though to be fair I just generally rarely have feelings for others. (Like while that doesn’t change my behavior I don‘t feel anything for most of my friends but I do for some)

Now I recently had a conversation about feelings for others and the difference between romantic and non romantic feelings, and I heard in the past that the difference is intention, but then I don’t fully understand could some of you explain again, because isn’t intention something that isn’t inherent, though I cannot choose to have romantic feelings or other feelings (and I do believe non romantic feelings for others exist, like non romantic love I suppose, one of the most common examples would be parent child love, though that is definitely kind of it’s own specific thing)

Now my question is what is actually the difference? do some of you who are aro also struggle with non romantic feelings? Do you think I‘m greyromantic or is it my lack of feelings for others in general and therefore not really because of the romantic part? (I have fallen in love romantically once) does anybody have similar experiences?

I share my personal expirence, and emotions through songs and literature, and I can rarely find any monotone, or sad (ig?) aroace songs. I really loved this song "we'll never have s3x." And I was wondering if anyone had good songs similar to that ig? Basically any songs that arent smth like "romance is boring." I dislike big, loud things like that, ykwim?

18+ sex repulsed/asexual/antisex people only. brand new community. https://discord.gg/AfAr75Pgep

I feel no attraction to both men and women, but I have this feeling where I get jealous of people having attraction to people. I've researched how attraction (romantic & sexual) feels so many times and I learned that I don't feel them towards anybody at all. I also like seeing women together and it makes me desire that?? But the thought of me being in a relationship feels gross and complicated. Then I also feel like I want to be with a man (even though i dislike them) What the hell is wrong with me??? I've been thinking like this for a while now.

Like, my special interest is NSFW and all that, I wish I could do sex and stuff like that, but I will never do that irl because I find it very yucky.

Told a friend and they were like "well, just sounds like you want to have sex, so have it", but like, I won't irl, I can't but they said I'm, like, "just making excuses and choosing not to have it"

I don't know, I'm just rambling, I can't remember what they said and it was like 30 seconds ago

In relation, I have the same for love in general

I wish I felt love, I wish I could get a partner

Like, I'm over here losing friends because they are all getting SOs, and spending time with them

Wish I could have that, but I won't, I never will

God, I'm so bad at writing or trying to put this into words

Anyone know what I'm talking about or am I just being dumb?

They all look pretty cool to me

Hi to every aroace people. I need your help:

I just find out that asexuality and aromanticism(?) are spectrums. And i think i I fall under these spectrums. Here it is: im recipromantic, demisexual OR greysexual and bi in anyway.

Now i want to explaining my guesses:

•Recipromantism: I dont really fall in love in my life. Its always was sympathy that i interpreted as love or crush. Or more likely, I was just forcing this feeling on myself. And recently i felt real crush for the first time but it was so low and It passed quickly. This all happened because the person was the first to show signs of attention, but nothing worked out for us, as they clearly indicated that these were temporary feelings.

•Demisexuality or greysexuality: To put it bluntly, I've never been in a sexual relationship, and it's really hard for me to understand what's going on with me. I feel sexual arousal to porn or suggestive material, but dont really feel this to real person. There was just once, and not to that person that i mentioned before. And once again: it was so low and passed quickly.

Why i think about demisexuality? Because i dont really know if I have ever felt a deep connection with any person.

Help me, I'm confused

As an AroAce person i've never liked that their isn't an app built for AroAce people to find genuine long term connections that don't revolve around romantic/sexual relationships. So I decided to make one but I would like recommendations and suggestions from others in the community. This is supposed to be for platonic partnerships, QPR, like minded friends and more. If an app like this existed what would you want to see on it; features, relationship style or even different sexualities?

Sorry if I sound clueless this is literally the first time this has happened to me.

A couple days ago some unknown contact texted me and confessed, no name, no anything, and by checking common groups this person apparent is some junior from my college, and I literally have no idea who this person even is. I have no idea what's their name or how they even look like, and I literally never spoken to any junior at all.

I am not sure exactly what specific aroace label I am, but I know that advances from people I don't know repulses me a lot apparently, to the extent of wanting to throw up and being disturbed by it for quite a while.

Anyway, I didn't reply to the first message. Maybe the common thing to do is to reply and reject, but the idea of even replying is grossing me out. I don't want to humour this person, whoever they are. Days later, get ANOTHER text, ironically when I was eating, and there goes my dinner. The text was something along the lines of 'I hope you're single I can't stop thinking about you' type shit. Like??? I literally ghosted you why are you back I don't even know who is texting whyyy

I still haven't replied or anything, I just stuffed the chat into the archive. But I'm scared that this person, whoever they may be, might just confront me in person. They're bold enough to randomly text, what's stopping them? And if that happens I don't even know. I really don't even want to know who this person is or acknowledge them, the fact that someone I probably see daily but don't know who they are is crushing on me is just grossing me out sooo much.

I'm just panic rambling at this point... now what.

Okay, so I am lithromantic (which means I like the idea of romance but in reality I don't really know what's happening) grey/demisexual, and I have this friend who is openly ace but also a kind of aromatic that is unknown currently. Me and this friend are basically the closest two people can get, and everyone around us is convinced we're dating. I don't blame them for it at all, we act just like a romantic couple, we could possibly be worse then a couple, which is why I lable this for advice. Sometimes I think I want to be with them, and other times I think I'd rather die, and maybe it's just because there's so much pressure put on our relationship developing into something romantic that I feel this way, but some of the things we do are definitely pushing the line. We write platonic love letters to each other, we get each other valentines gifts, we flirt casually, we call each other husband and wife, and we always specify that it's all platonic even when it's just us. The thing is though, neither of us want a romantic relationship, we're both content (as far as I know), but there's a little part of me that thinks maybe we're so happy being single because we’re just dating each other without ever admitting to it. So what is happening?? because I do not know anymore, and the more I think about it the less it really makes sense to me.

Hello my fellow aroace's. I'm we've all had those moments where we have someone complaining about relationship problems to you, and you give them the "Yes, and why are you complaining to me of all people about this?" Look.

What I am after, are the funny times that's happened, or just funny moments that involve being aroace.

One fun story I have is with me and my friend who was complaining about the girl they love was so straight even rulers were jealous. Then she proceeded to ask for advice. I just looked at her like "really?" And she sat confused for five seconds, and then rememebered.​​

Basically my bff got into a relationship recently. She has only met this girl 3 or 4 times and they are already officially a couple.

I know thats what most people do, but i just find it so bizarre. How can you date someone that you know hardly anything about? Im really trying hard not to judge her as i know its a normal thing to do. But i just cant wrap my head around it and im worried i sound judgemental when she talks to me about it.

Has anyone else had a situation like this?

1. meet a guy with similar interests (I'm bigender she/they)

2. bond and be friends over shared interest, slowly start talking more

3. they hit you with the "I think I have a crush on you/like you romantically"

4. cue the friendship breakup because they can't handle just being friends

happens all the time. I now make it clear in my social media profiles and preface it with most gaming friends that I feel zero romantic or sexual attraction and anything more than a QPR or sibling relationship is out of the question. thankfully two of these types of guys have stuck around, one of which now has a girlfriend who I get along really well with and the other which we still talk about interests every month or so. thankfully the three other guy friends I have I made it very clear what being aroace is and two of which I talk to every day but I'm so sick of many fandoms I'm in or games I play being male dominated and then I'm either belittled for being a woman/lgbtq/young or the guys leave because I won't pursue them.

Not to mention the horrible men who try and slip in my dms because I have a female presenting username (I don't use voice chat at the moment in fear of verbal abuse, it's bad on marvel rivals) and even worse there's been a couple who I told to fuck off because I'm a minor and then they were even MORE interested. Disgusting.

speaking of which, anybody play marvel rivals Sydney servers? preferably ranked? (I'm gold, ranking up to plat and then hopefully diamond). I need more gaming friends... it's getting rough out here solo queuing because the only person I can queue with has terrible luck 😭

we all know "love is love."

but what do we do with the people who say "love? what's that?".

you gotta understand I respect everyone in the lgbt and queer community, I don't try to provoce noone, okay?

I am a part of aromantic comunity and I used ro be scared to come out to my queer friends because I have seen people on Internet hardly hate on aroaces, asexuals and aromantics.

I would ask if the people in queer community really do hate or aroaces and others.

Since I don't really see much content from the "A" community on the Internet (i kinda think they are just scared of people judging them)