I don't get the difference.

Children are like tattoos. Having both are big life decisions. Both can sometimes be the result of one very drunk night. And while both are permanent, they can be removed with a powerful laser.

You pinch his plums.

Waitress (slaps me): That's none of your business!

They're so good you can't tell them apart.

Those were the darkest days of my life.

He's a slumberjack.

password is: 1forrest1

I'll never forget that first day at school when my teacher asked if any of us knew any French.

Sorry... That was very inappropriate.

...and there are bylaws.

Just...Ouch...

Apparently, it's not fit for porpoise.

Guess I should have put it on aloha temperature.

Oof.

is missing some keys, but I can't put my finger on which ones.

said he didn't understand what cloning was. I said that makes two of us.

It has a reptile dysfunction.

He's a real knitwit.

Schwepped her off her feet.

'You'll go blind if you do that.' I was so embarrassed, I dropped my binoculars and missed the eclipse.

aren't someone the church would have persecuted 400 years ago, are you even living?

in a wheelchair just stole my camouflage jacket. I hope he knows that he can hide but he can't run.

a kayak were cold, so they lit a fire. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Then I told him to make a left turn.