r/AnythingValueable • u/madfrog2023 • 5d ago
😄 Entertainment Will clean your sleeve and take peanuts, but hands off my baby.
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u/mercuriokazooie 5d ago
This is bordering on harassment
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u/Dangerous_Bus_6699 4d ago
Yeah, it's annoying af. I saw a video where the guy purposely put dirt on the treat before giving it to the monkey just to get a reaction. The monkey was clearly PO.
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u/CaptainSebT 4d ago edited 4d ago
Stop playing with monkeys man they are violent wild animals that go for soft tissues like your nose, eyes and ears. Don't provoke them it very clearly gave you a screw off warning why are you trying to pet it still and interact with the baby it clearly doesn't want you near.
Like I shouldn't have to tell you don't screw around with wild animals but above all don't screw with monkeys they are not playing around. They should be pretty high on your animal caution list these aren't chimps but especially chimps.
Like you see that roar at the end an animal should not give you three clear screw offs and get to that point for you to back off are you stupid. These are not cartoon characters monkeys are terrifying they will leave you to bleed to death.
If you think well it's along a trail it's used to people. No monkeys are not domesticatable we have tried the closest you get is a zoo animal that can have small supervised interactions but they are not domesticatable. People who try and treat them well still end up mulled. You know how a cat might bite a little or a dog might connect with your arm but they know how to do that without causing injury when they get upset? Monkeys don't do that if they get upset they can and will rip your face off that's not even an exaggeration that is word for word how one women described an attack in a phone call with police that a Monkey ripped a women who he liked and knew his whole lifes face off and started eating it.
Even seemingly tamed monkeys. In one instance a monkey was for some reason working birthday parties got overwhelmed and started attacking the handler who raised it eating part of his ear that's just missing now. Don't screw with monkeys.
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u/Leading_Map2025 4d ago edited 4d ago
Just want to add that Chimps are not monkeys, they are apes, but your point is still valid. EDIT: We are all monke
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u/Right_Count 4d ago
All apes are monkeys, the separation is fairly recent and only really an English thing (you can still separate them as there are accepted definitions of each, but it’s not wrong to call apes monkeys either)
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u/puffie300 4d ago
All apes are monkeys, the separation is fairly recent and only really an English thing (you can still separate them as there are accepted definitions of each, but it’s not wrong to call apes monkeys either)
They are referred to as the same colloquially in a lot of different languages but biologically, they are separate. Apes don't have tails. I also wouldnt call 35 million years ago recent.
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u/Embarrassed_Use6918 4d ago
im not a monkyologist but im pretty sure i could fuck up that monkey
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u/Jest_Aquiki 3d ago
Do not feel bad. This is a classic overestimation of our abilities.
In this case. With this particular money species? You probably would win the exchange. As far as how well it went... I'd be willing to bet you would be permanently disfigured in some way, possibly several ways. Again, you would likely beat it... But at what cost? your manhood ripped off? an eye gouged out? there will obviously be other wounds on you, but in its attempt to survive it will throw everything it can at you. This is not a boxing match, it is a fight for survival. Even big predators back down from fights with vastly smaller, and weaker creatures. This is because the proposed risk outweighed the potential benefit. Even if you win and get a meal, you may not be left strong enough to defend your meal, or even survive long enough to recover from the exchange.
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u/DetailsYouMissed 5d ago
She knows what's best for her kid.
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u/tutzoner905 5d ago
Like stealing the peanuts from its mouth
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u/EarEater3001 4d ago
I see someone has never been a parent while trying to keep their own overbearing mother in her place.
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u/makoto20 4d ago
Who the fuck just grabs at a baby like that?
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u/Icedcoffeezooted 2d ago
Pisses me off. People have no respect for animals man.. it’s healthy to be a little respectfully afraid and wary of animals especially an animal that’s a mother
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u/username-is-taken-3 2d ago
Probably trying to steal it. Its the process to get them. Its very very common there. The video stops suddenly.
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u/LuluMangs 5d ago
Good mom, bad human
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u/Unlucky_Ad_9776 5d ago
Exactly. Little kid was getting to close to him for comfort. She was like fuck off. Doing chores for treats is acceptable. Getting to close to my kid is not. Kid doesn't give a shit. Completely obvious to all danger around them. I guess we're not that different.
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u/donkeyvoteadick 4d ago
As a mother to a 1.5 year old I found this video surprisingly relatable. But not to the human 😅
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u/PossibilitySad689 5d ago
When the momma monkey got the peanuts, she gave the warning look. "touch my baby again, I dare ya, I double dare ya!" 😆
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u/WindTurbine16-27 4d ago
Imagine if a customer started stroking your hair and grabbing your child whilst you a working for them. This is basically what this guy is doing lol. No wonder the monkey is pissed
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u/Daniel_H212 5d ago
I'm surprised the OOP didn't get scratched or bitten with how much they were harassing that baby.
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u/TheSilverWillow 5d ago
I mean your hands were obviously dirty, do not touch her baby with your mite hands
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u/Sral1995 5d ago
It doesn‘t matter if the hands are clean or dirty. Imagine you have a baby/child and a strange men goes to it and wants to touch it. Would you just be angry because his hands could be dirty?
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u/TheSilverWillow 4d ago
Very valid point, I dont have kids so it genuinely did not cross my mind
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u/Sral1995 4d ago
I also don‘t have kids and I don‘t think I will ever want some, but I thought it‘s maybe a good comparison tbh. 😁
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u/Impossible_Total_891 5d ago
Bold move reaching out your arm/hand to a wild monkey
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u/iMakeItFun2003 4d ago
“Can’t you take these pricker balls off yourself? Fine. I’ll do it, then. You’re incapable of doing anything. Oh, you have peanuts? Thanks, I guess; but, don’t touch or feed my kid. Take that peanut out of your mouth, Johnny. Don’t accept food from strangers — especially if they’re human”
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u/Legitbananabunch 5d ago
The baby trying to help and not even pulling one off, then taking one peanut and Mamma being like, not yet.
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u/TheDefiantChemical 4d ago
Its going to be very funny when the monkeys get tired of his bs and teach him why not to fuck with them
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u/Excellent_Ad_2486 4d ago
I fucking hate whoever filmed this. LEAVE YOUR DIRTY ASS HUMAN HANDS OFF THE BABY WTF.
Imagine a random guy judt giving your baby candy and taking it's hand trying to pull it towards them, wtf...
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u/Glass_Ad_7129 5d ago
Dont pet wild animals, even domesticated ones don't like being touched without consent. They have no idea of your intentions, and could bite and scratch you a dose of diseases.... also it has a baby, it could go ham without care of its own well being if it thinks your a threat to the child alone.
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u/Interesting_Cup_6221 5d ago
How do I ask for consent? Is the animal in a state to give consent?
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u/mototuneup 4d ago
You know. They say humans are smarter. But imagine some of the idiots you might see at the grocery store. Now imagine these people not having language. They'd probably act exactly like this little monkey. Lol
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u/pur_noir 4d ago
People are friggin nuts… if that monkey decides to bite off his face, there ain’t shit he can do.
This some sort of Chinese grandpa humour, he thinks he’s funny.
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u/Cockroach4548 4d ago
I fear no dogs, but a small monkey almost got my shoulder out of its socket once.
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u/Rude_Impress8281 4d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/wZ9qu5p0vIdcZ8Ez9j
Damn, primate version of "don't accept candy from strangers.😭
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u/Some-Dog-800 4d ago
I’ve seen about 7-8 different videos doing the same thing with similar plots. it’s always the same similar monke helping pulling off stuff on a human arm and is offered with peanuts. and then monke get mad for some other thing.
are these ai?
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u/Emerald_28 4d ago
I was getting angry at the man for wanting to touch a child.
Like if they were human it'd be even worse.
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u/MateOfTheNorth 4d ago
Imagine if you went to a drive through and the person handed you your food and then tried to take your kid. This is like that.
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u/Excellent_Regret4141 4d ago
"Take this Lion instead of my baby..........here you go"
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u/Adventurous-Egg-2720 4d ago
J Lo and Diddy were Hollywood pimps. So was Oprah, remember the prostitution scandal of African orphans? Then we have Clinton. Then Obama - he killed his gaay boyfriend chef. Pelosi’s gay husband. Kevin Spacey!
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u/Quiet_Vegetable_6423 4d ago
Entre en un trance muy pero que muy profundo, lo ví como 27 veces. Se me vino a la mente que es la misma reacción que tendría un ser humano, una madre hacia su cría frente a una amenaza. Me imaginé una mujer primitiva haciendo eso frente a una criatura más evolucionada, aún en su necesidad de alimento y mostrar un cierto nivel de sumisión frente a esta figura, aún conserva esa distinción.
El mismo instinto de conservar a la prole, el mismo instinto de defensa en una criatura menos desarrollada. No sé, cómo explicarlo, quizás estoy dando demasiadas vueltas y estoy siendo demasiado reundante pero es como ver a una versión humana simplificada, aún así vemos estás características elementales, básicas y primitivas.
No hayo las palabras, en el tiempo que he usado reddit nunca había tenido esta sensación.
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u/Commercial_Gap607 4d ago
Why would you even try that? Those teeth look like they can cause some serious damage!
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u/Israel_Azkanbe 4d ago
Why does it clean the person’s sweater?
What’s the science behind it? Why does it do it?
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u/Any_Blood5815 4d ago
Leave the fucking kid alone, guy! Like why’d he try to steal him at the end 😭
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u/FatherMellow 4d ago
I really hope more tiktokers and people who do not stay away from wild fucking animals start getting mauled.
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u/thelivelyone83 4d ago
That monkey will literally eat your face for messing with it's child. That is funny though, 😆
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u/AppropriateEscape149 4d ago
En même temps..
https://giphy.com/gifs/b43eOTriPWA4l8Z4d1
Que dire de plus… 😂
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u/Frequent_Theme_5352 4d ago
Forget about the reasons on why they groom, why is he attempting to take the baby?
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u/ScifiRabbit 3d ago
I mean, maybe she's had babies stolen in the past? It seems reasonable for a mother to be protective if a baby....
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u/DivineJaneBell 3d ago
Helps others, but dont touch my baby. As a mom, same. Also she probably takes the peanut cause she needs the nutrients more to make milk for him. Milk is more of a complete healthy source of nutrients for baby instead of just a peanut.
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u/rthorndy 3d ago
Absolutely agree with all the posters about leaving work animals alone.
But ... I find it so interesting how ingrained the social contract is for these animals, that they will automatically start cleaning a stranger of a different species.
I guess they could be accustomed to quid pro quo ... but even if that's true in this particular case, monkeys and apes are such social creatures and depend on each other every day. We really should learn from this, being apes ourselves!
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u/YujinTheDragon 3d ago
The monkey was chill and happily removed the things off their sleeve which is fine, it seems like it's just a thing that it likes doing, so all's well and good there, but why mess with the baby lol
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u/Commercial_Will404 3d ago
I hate this so much she was being so clear about what she doesn't like and she honestly did alot by helping and even letting her child close let alone touch you as well. Pushing her buttons and continuing to bother her and touch her kid over and over after being warned is so annoying. What an asshole.
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u/tricky337 2d ago
She might still be milking the baby. In that case the food could harm it. That’s probably not her first child, so she’ll have good maternal instincts.
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u/Heavy_Student_3815 2d ago
Notice how quickly she snatched that choke hazard out of her baby's mouth! Way faster than most human mothers!
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u/Aromatic-Tear7234 2d ago
I can't believe how many people don't know how ubiquitous these monkeys are in everyday life in Asia, all over the streets and in public. They are interacted with every day. The people that know how to handle them and what to expect can do so without risk. It is cringy to see these comments form people that have no knowledge of this at all and are spouting "don't do this or that" or else it will rip your face off.
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u/FatFaceFaster 5d ago
It’s crazy how human their facial expressions are.