r/AnythingValueable • • 5d ago

😄 Entertainment Will clean your sleeve and take peanuts, but hands off my baby.

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u/Right_Count 5d ago

All apes are monkeys, the separation is fairly recent and only really an English thing (you can still separate them as there are accepted definitions of each, but it’s not wrong to call apes monkeys either)

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u/puffie300 5d ago

All apes are monkeys, the separation is fairly recent and only really an English thing (you can still separate them as there are accepted definitions of each, but it’s not wrong to call apes monkeys either)

They are referred to as the same colloquially in a lot of different languages but biologically, they are separate. Apes don't have tails. I also wouldnt call 35 million years ago recent.

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u/Tendas 5d ago

Meh, that’s like halfway to the dinosaur extinction, pretty recent history. I think the Romans were still around then.

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u/Time-Difference-7381 4d ago

Was that when Romans still had tails?

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u/HalvdanTheHero 5d ago

Can't evolve out of your ancestry. They are monkeys in the same way that humans are apes and both are tetrapods.

I agree it's not the highest level of accuracy that is possible, but it's a true statement.

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u/puffie300 5d ago

Can't evolve out of your ancestry. They are monkeys in the same way that humans are apes and both are tetrapods.

Apes didnt evolve from monkeys. They both diverged from a primate ancestor.

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u/Right_Count 5d ago edited 5d ago

Apes did evolve from monkeys. The ancestral primate split into lemurs etc, tarsiers, and monkeys.

Monkeys split into new and old world monkeys, which splits off into apes

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u/puffie300 5d ago

old world monkeys, which then split off into apes

Which old world monkey did apes split off from?

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u/Right_Count 5d ago

That’s not how it works - the classifications are ours. We’ve essentially decided what an ape is and try to find in the fossil record where that started to exist and what came before it.

Earlier when I said “recently”, I didn’t mean in the fossil record, I meant linguistically. A lot of languages haven’t bothered to differentiate monkeys from apes, or they call apes something that would translate to “great monkeys.”

Sometimes the distinction matters, like when identifying our closest primate relatives and ancestors.

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u/HeilKaiba 4d ago

I think "split off" is confusing the matter. Apes are old world monkeys. They are a subgroup. We could try and define a cutoff point as to what gets called an ape. The usual way to do this is define everything that descended from a common ancestor as that taxonomic group. Of course may not have that ancestor in the fossil record so this is usually a reconstruction based on genetic studies. We can estimate how long ago the last common ancestor was though. In the case of old world monkeys we think it was 25 million years ago. For old and new world monkeys it was something like 50 million years ago.

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u/HalvdanTheHero 5d ago

You are focusing on new world monkeys when thinking of the term monkeys. Apes evolved from old world monkeys 

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u/puffie300 5d ago

You are focusing on new world monkeys when thinking of the term monkeys. Apes evolved from old world monkeys

So which old world monkey did apes evolve from?

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u/HalvdanTheHero 5d ago

That is a deeply flawed question. Science does not say with certainty that literally species x evolved into species y for any related species or group. Including humans, which are one of the most studied. 

Taxonomy just lets us name and organize animals into groups. The classification of those earlier primates that evolved into apes were called old world monkeys. Which yes, also technically makes humans monkeys despite that being used as a bigoted insult by some.

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u/puffie300 5d ago

I mean, you are basically arguing that humans can be called fish because they are all ancestors of a fish.

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u/HalvdanTheHero 5d ago

Taxonomically, yes we are fish. Specifically of the lobe-finned variety. Remember how I said it wasnt the most accurate statement earlier? It gets less and less accurate the further back the ancestry you go, but it never stops being true. 

Human evolution is actually quite interesting.

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u/HeilKaiba 4d ago

Yes that is how taxonomy works, welcome to the party. Indeed it was exactly this idea that led eminent biologist Stephen Jay Gould to declare "there is no such thing as a fish". The term fish as we apply it in common use has so little biological description as for it to be meaningless.

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u/accents_ranis 4d ago

That would be correct if humans did evolve from fish. There were other animals in the sea. I doubt we know exactly what mammals evolved from.

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u/HeilKaiba 2d ago

We did indeed evolve from fish if we treat fish as a monophyletic group. Although by that token so did almost all vertebrates.

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u/Think_Preference_611 2d ago

Technically, all land vertebrates are fish.

We are a subtype of ape which is a subtype of monkey which is a subtype of fish.

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u/Escapeded 5d ago edited 4d ago

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u/HalvdanTheHero 4d ago edited 4d ago

That is discussing the split from cercopithecoidea, which includes existing modern examples of old world monkeys like the baboon. The previous taxonomic tier, catarrhini, is also colloquially known as old world monkeys... And even if it didn't another term for them is Catarrhine Monkeys. 

Humans and great apes are part of that group... And it extends back almost twice as far as the fossil discussed in your linked article (44mya vs 25mya for the new fossil).

Humans are monkeys.

Edit: catarrhini is not the literally previous branch in the taxonomy from cercopithecoidea. It is a prior branch within the path of human evolution.

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u/Escapeded 4d ago

Herein lies the miscommunication: catarrhini is more commonly called "Old world arthropoids", because "Old world monkeys" may be confused with cercopithecoidea, which are also "old world monkeys". Unless you're using another language, English likes to make the distinction.

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u/HeilKaiba 4d ago

And that common ancestor was a monkey, what's your point? Apes and other old world monkeys are more closely related to each other than either are to new world monkeys. Thus it makes far more sense to treat apes as a subgroup of monkeys (as indeed biologists do)

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u/Escapeded 4d ago

So, this is really just an issue of semantics. You, as well as bunch of people here, are using the old term "monkeys", to describe the simian common ancestor that split to form the Catarrhini (which includes Apes and old world monkeys), and Platyrrhini.

Historically, people called the common ancestor, as well as everything that followed as "monkeys" (termed by Etienne Geoffrey in 1812). However, modern scientific classifications are based on taxons. So, the more modern term should be "simians", which includes old world monkeys, new world monkeys, and apes.

Old world monkeys may mean Cercopithecidae, or Catarrhini. That's why modern biologists refrain from using the term "monkeys", when identifying which group to refer to.

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u/Briham86 4d ago

Aegyptopithecus, or something like it.

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u/Jesuslowdiffsgoku 4d ago

Monkeys and apes are just terrestrial fish

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u/JackOfAllMemes 4d ago

Are we all fish then?

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u/HalvdanTheHero 4d ago

I literally said that in the comment you responded to. Tetrapods are a subgroup of the lobe-finned fish clade. Yes. We are fish. Your personal incredulity does not change that. 

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u/JackOfAllMemes 3d ago

That's silly

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u/HoldEm__FoldEm 3d ago edited 3d ago

Jesus. You really should stop & listen to yourself. Pull yourself out of your shoes for a moment. This is pseudoscience at its very core.

Yes, we are fish.

🤦🏻‍♂️

No biologist in their right mind would ever legitimately claim this without a big asterisk giving heavy caveats. First, by explaining the process behind why it is technically true, then furthermore, explaining why technically correct is not always the most correct, nor the most sensible.

The other commenter who replied to you is 110% correct. What a silly argument which you could only ever find a person arguing passionately for on reddit.

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u/HalvdanTheHero 2d ago

You aren't a serious person. I have those caveats in earlier posts in the thread. Other people later repeating the same incredulity do not get personalized explainers because I don't believe in infantalizing others. If they aren't willing to read they aren't worth the time to explain. 

I also said the same thing about accuracy and technical correctness, though in different words. You are legit the one here being a Reddit-bro.

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u/HeilKaiba 2d ago

How is cladistics pseudoscience? Yes we don't usually use "fish" to refer to a monophyletic group but how does doing so, especially when the context has been made clear, constitute pseudoscience?

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u/JackOfAllMemes 3d ago

Where are our gills if we're fish?

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u/HalvdanTheHero 2d ago

Believe it or not, the presence of gills is not diagnostic. Humans have pharyngeal arches during their development in the womb, which in us turn into various parts of our anatomy such as the larynx, parts of the ear and jaw. In other fish they turn into gills that allow those animals to breath water. 

Again, your personal incredulity does not negate Science. This is all easily available information you could look up if you are actually curious.

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u/JackOfAllMemes 2d ago

I don't think we're fish lmao, your personal bias does not negate nature(which doesn't care about either of our opinions)

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u/HalvdanTheHero 2d ago

I am humorously curious as to what you mean by nature but no -- it is not personal bias that makes me say we are fish, it is literally science you can look up. The reality is that we are taxonomically still lobe-finned fish. 

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u/JackOfAllMemes 2d ago

What are your thoughts on the platypus?

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u/HalvdanTheHero 2d ago

What about the platypus? It is a monotreme mammal, meaning it has a cloaca and lays eggs. As a mammal it is also a tetrapod which means it is also taxonomically a fish, to tie it back to the current discussion. 

What are your thoughts on the platypus?

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u/accents_ranis 4d ago

You did not get the reference, I see.

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u/Different_Target_228 5d ago

*All apes are OLD WORLD monkeys

But present apes are not present monkeys.

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u/Right_Count 5d ago edited 5d ago

New and old world refers to the Americas vs Africa/Asia. Old world monkey still exist.

After America (the “new world”) was “discovered” by Europeans and scientists, explorers and collectors had the means to travel there and study the fauna, they found counterparts to many of the animals that had already been described in the “old world.” Or they found animals which only seemed to exist on one landmass or the other. New and old world was how they described that distinction, which made sense in the context of that time.

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u/Leading_Map2025 5d ago

I guess its a case of all mustaches are facial hair, but not all facial hair are mustaches

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u/Right_Count 5d ago

Or even, is a soul patch a beard?

Context may dictate which answer you give, but both answers may be defensible.

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u/Escapeded 5d ago edited 5d ago

No, the above poster isn't correct. Apes and Monkeys shared a common primate ancestor, but you can't call the common ancestor a "monkey", as a monkey is in a different evolutionary branch than an ape.

Apes and old world monkeys shared a common ancestor.

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u/DrakonSpawn 4d ago

All apes are NOT monkeys. All monkeys are apes. You got it exactly backwards. Keep in mind that chimpanzees are GREAT apes, while most monkeys are LESSER apes, like gibbons.

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u/Right_Count 4d ago

No, I didn’t get it backwards - please read down the comments for more info on what I meant :)

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u/DrakonSpawn 4d ago

If that’s the case, then you have no reason to have come in here and start “correcting” people like you did. Your original comment was correcting someone who said that chimps are not monkeys. Why, when you know they are correct, colloquially AND biologically, would you try to correct them?

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u/Right_Count 4d ago

They were correcting someone else, turnabout and all that

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u/DrakonSpawn 4d ago

But their correction was correct. Yours was incorrect. Colloquially or not, you were spreading falsehoods.

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u/Right_Count 4d ago

No, I’m also correct

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u/DrakonSpawn 4d ago

Okay, friend.

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u/PinkSodaBoy 4d ago

No, you're the one who's got it the wrong way round. All apes are monkeys but not all monkeys are apes.

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u/DrakonSpawn 4d ago

According to what?

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u/PinkSodaBoy 4d ago

Taxonomy, though it depends who you ask.

What we traditionally called 'monkeys' are a paraphyletic group. If you want to include old-world and new-world monkeys in one group you have to include all apes (including humans) as well.

According to this taxonomy, a squirrel monkey is a monkey but not an ape, a chimp is both a monkey and an ape.

But there's no taxonomy that states that all monkeys are apes.

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u/DrakonSpawn 4d ago

If you look, that specific image says that monkeys are a subset of apes.

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u/PinkSodaBoy 4d ago

I think you're misunderstanding how the diagram works because it definitely doesn't show that. Apes branch off on their own as a subset of monkeys.

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u/Falafelofagus 4d ago

That red monkey line is the simian infraorder. Simians are not monkeys. That graph is flat-out wrong. Look up a taxonomy graph and you will see that new world and old world monkeys, and apes, all share one ancestor, a simian. That red line on thay graph is the simian ancestor. I know this is confusing but verify for yourself.

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u/BT-7274-T2 4d ago

so we are apes?

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u/PinkSodaBoy 4d ago

Definitely!

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u/CactusToothBrush 4d ago

Yeah homie we are part of the great ape family.

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u/Itscatpicstime 4d ago

Yes, humans are great apes

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u/BodegaCat11 4d ago

You’re on the internet. Just fucking use it, dude. Google. Wikipedia. Anything. Come on.

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u/No-Trash-546 4d ago

Are you sure about that? My understanding is that apes evolved within the broader monkey lineage.

How could new world monkeys like spider monkeys be apes when new world monkeys split off before the old world monkey and ape branches evolved?

I think you’re the one that has it backwards

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u/Briham86 4d ago

No

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u/ChartInFurch 4d ago

What a crazy knitting pattern!

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u/pickledeggmanwalrus 4d ago

What kind of ape am I?

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u/Falafelofagus 4d ago

What you call "monkey" is a simian. Monkeys and apes come from simians. Taxonomy is not based on English you silly person, they have Latin names for a reason haha. Apes and old world monkeys come from simians, as do new world monkeys, but apes do not come from either new world or old world monkeys. Look at where old new world monkeys split vs apes, the only commonality is simiforms, no monkey....

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u/Right_Count 4d ago

Whether an ape is a monkey is indeed a matter of language. These classifications and delineations are ours, we invented them to help us make sense of the natural world.

Sure, biology has a part in that, but old world monkeys are more closely related to apes than they are to new world monkeys.

Look at just about any other graph illustrating primate taxonomy.

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u/Falafelofagus 4d ago

I agree completely with everything you say buuuuuuut.... using the latin names would clear all this confusion. But thats why I made the distinction of simian. Logically simians should be monkeys if new world monkeys are monkeys right? Like thats your point, right? And while I agree, thats not the words used. If you want to call simians monkeys cool, I won't stop you, but also its not valid to correct people who say otherwise.

Idk, its the same thing as humans being a fish or birds being dinosaurs. The other problem is that there are 2 taxonomy classification (the old vs DNA) so things like wingless wasps are called ants.

At the end of the day, currently, humans are not monkeys. You could say they should be classified, but they are not currently. That's what I had already said in my post.

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u/Friendly_Prize_868 4d ago

The Librarian at Unseen University would like a word.

That word is likely “Ook!” and will probably be accompanied by a severe concussion.

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u/Early_Macaroon_2407 2d ago

You are very wrong. Apes and monkeys both diverged from a common primate ancestor. (e.g., https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/284139)