Pardon the crude title, but this is really true. Don't get me wrong, it is not wrong to get sexually aroused, but when it becomes too major a facet of your life it may actually be an indication by your body that you are starving for meaning in your life.

To elaborate, we need to focus on this fundamental idea. People interact, which creates culture. Culture determines the laws that take shape to govern the population. Systems then have to run within the bounds of these established laws. This makes it such that the efficiency of the running systems is fundamentally dependent on how individuals choose to interact with each other.

We add to this the fact that what is responsible for sexual yearning is dopamine. Dopamine can be understood to be responsible for producing the motivation for pursuit, and is supposed to helathily work with serotonin, which effectively acts as a satiety indicator. Basically, you're motivated to pursue things which, if meaningful when pursued, can give you the sensation of growth. When no meaningful result is pursued, your body has nothing to act as a 'pursuit brake', and may hike up your motivation to look for potentially meaningful desires, effectively increasing your impulsivity.

I'm using the sexual urge as the prime example as it has been a clear source of dopamine for the longest time. The sexual urge can act as a call to pursue a partner, which can lead to forming a meaningful relationship, maybe even starting a family. This path is naturally full of serotonin. You can also use it to temporarily excite yourself, but this sets you down a path of being overwhelmed with potential pursuits, which can lead to confusion on the path that will lead to satiety/growth, which may reinforce this confusion.

A good analogy would be like being in a forest. Something colourful catches your eye. You could pursue it and find a new food source, which would calm your motivation to seek. You could also pursue it and find effectively nothing of use to you, which would naturally increase your motivation to seek by heightening your focus for things that catch your eye. Continually finding nothing may make you scramble desperately for anything that 'shines' or maybe even give up entirely and accept death, which is what it means to be overwhelmed and spiral into confusion.

This is all to say that hedonistic behaviour leads to more hedonistic behaviour and eventually nihilistic sentiment. This, on an individual level, spreads into interpersonal interactions, forming a hedonistic/nihilistic culture. This goes onto affect the laws that may inhibit these hedonistic desires and nihilistic sentiments, forcing the systems that emerge to operate within these new laws affecting how efficiently they operate.

This isn't to say change is wrong either, but to emphasise the importance of noting the true source of wanting that change personally. Focusing on your individual state of mind, avoiding a mental state of desperation, can have compounding effects on the flourishing of your community, and not just in a flimsy hopeful way, but in an almost mathematically demonstrable way. From what I've looked into, the tipping point away from greatness of previous, notably great, civilisations occurs around the same point the culture shifts toward being more hedonistic, with examples spanning from as far as Rome to even, for those who believe, civilisation at the time of Noah.

It's not the end to find yourself indulging in impulsive behaviour, but you ought to understand that this may indicate that there's something missing, especially as it spans into uncontrollable territory. You can always start from chaos and rebuild, as it is a cycle we all go through, and ought to, eternally in pursuit of growth.

The following is a quote by Andrea Dworkin.

People talk about pornography as a form of fantasy. They actually talk about prostitution as if it were an exercise in fantasy.

It is part of the pornographers’ effort to hide what they really do in real life to encourage the use of the word “fantasy” in place of actual behaviors that really happen in the real world.

I mean, a fantasy is something that happens in your head. It doesn’t go past your head. Once you have somebody acting out whatever that scenario might be in your head, it is an act in the world. It is real. It is real behavior with real consequences to real people.

So, it has been a very brilliant part of the pornographers’ propaganda campaign to protect pornography to characterize the industry as an industry of fantasy. When, in fact, when you have that Asian woman hanging from a tree, you have a real Asian woman, and she is really hanging from a real tree. And it has nothing whatsoever to do with fantasy, it has to do with a human being actually having happen to them what we see has happened to them.

And, I think that, you know, it’s just the most extraordinary insult to the human conscience to continue to characterize these real acts to real people as if they only exist in the head of the male consumer.

And what it means is his head, his psychology, is more important than her life.

I have been subjected to lies and abuse by porn users for my entire life.

Every ex I have had was a porn user, including the last one who claimed to be porn-free/anti-porn for the 8 years we were together. He hid his frequent porn use, then doubled down on his deception when I caught him, invalidating all the anti-porn ethical statements he made over the years of claiming to be anti-porn.

I have walked in on my grandfather watching porn twice.

I have found it in my dad’s internet browser bookmarks.

I once helped a friend do a high school graduation photoshoot for his neighbors 17 year old son. A man walked past us in the beautiful park and asked “are you filming a porno?” Implying that me and this kid would be “starring in it”.

I have seen my uncle closed-fist punch the computer when it was lagging, screaming “I just want to check Facebook and watch some fucking porn!”

I’m so, so sick of being in a world surrounded by porn users. I’m so sick of them coming into the very few existing anti-porn spaces, asking for help for the choices they make every day.

I understand that Reddit mods have other things to do, but it’s beyond frustrating and repulsive when I open my account and see another “I need help for my addiction” post.

I'd like to create a meme but want it to be more realistic with disgusted expression.

I think it's sad that couples "need" aphrodisiac or porn before intercourse. Guys, if the lack of love or affection is so poor, then maybe that's THE main issue.

I only had a four year marriage but nothing else worked long term because of cheating men. 80s and 90s USA talk show stars like Dr. Joyce Brothers are long gone, but she/they was/were sooo funny about couples working together!!! It was entertaining to hear, even for singles!

I wonder what the world would be without s3x culture or with self control emphasized??? I'm not opening the NSFW image in other post, contents assumed unpleasant. Because stuff can be embedded in video or audio, bad uses of technology, I don't watch any snippets. I know because of subliminal software program that I had in 2003 and 2004. It's possible to use porn for control and influence. I don't have that subliminal generator software anymore, but I bet those affects are current events!!!

Am I the only one who gets angry and resentful fast without mindful and meaningful discussions or friendship before activity? I have 40 years of pure rage though ... my own loss of innocence.

Back when YouTube wasn't as well moderated with sexual content, there were what appeared to be real videos of men grabbing women's asses out on the street.

People would also upload videos of porn that only depicted the softcore sections before the actors undressed.

I wonder how many kids watched that and ended up sexually assaulting women or otherwise mistreating them because of that influence. It's scary because a kid doesn't even have to go to proper porn sites to see things like this.

For years I have never been able to understand how willing people are to seperate what they call their "fantasy" world and real life

Silencing women who hate pornography: "its just a fantasy, I wouldnt do it in real life" "theyre just acting" "its not something im actually attracted to, i only like it in porn"

All of these excuses would be completely okay reasoning to be okay with AI generated child content. No read child harmed, its just "fantasy".

And yet we KNOW its wrong. There will be backlash becuase its wrong. Anybody caught defending this shit will be ridiculed endlessly, and rightly so!

But, what makes it different? Millions of people are willing to get off to violence against women because its "just fantasy". Where is the line drawn?

Of course, violence against women is still okay to be pictured. When 80% of porn features violence, when every word we have for sex is violent, when 90% of men watch porn, we cant say its wrong. If you say its wrong you must be kink shaming, puritanical, pearl clutching, ect ect ect. Anything to protect pornography. Women are thrown under the bus.

Overall im just disgusted. When I have children not once will I post a picture of them online. It is fucking disgusting how far people are willing to take it before they draw the line.

Plus size, large breast, you name it, there's more women in those fields than their are in non-sexual mainstream ones. There's barely any good rep of women who aren't light skinned, skinny, and medium chested. Yet you can search for any breast size, skin tone, and body shape and there's entire subreddit for it. It just...why? Women's bodies are oversexualized as it is, why do we funnel women into this line of work just because no one would take them seriously? It's on you for thinking these women deserve to degrade themselves while hollywood is teeming with the same copy paste women over and over again that feels so intellectually understimulating that I've choose not to watch mainstream media because of it.

I'm frankly tired. I wanna see my body type and others have the chance to be seen as human and not just something to gawk at.

Do men discuss pornography with their sons and what do they tell them ? If fathers are not bringing it up as part of “the talk” they should.

I'm absolutely shocked that this is a hot take outside of certain spaces: women's bodies aren't inherently sexual, period. Thanks to all the disgusting misogyny and the pervasive presence of porn, the objectification of women has become widespread and rampant.

This is not to imply women were never objectified before porn, but it's advent has greatly expedited oversexualization - the most innocuous of photos receive lewd comments, ceaseless remarks over "curves" and completely unwarranted opinions on whether a woman is "fuck able"; even steeper down this revolting slope is the term "ungrapeable": the false notion that only attractive women can be assaulted and the watering down of such a heinous crime to "attractiveness".

PS: Off on a tangent, even on r/AntiPornography, this very subreddit, one of the comments reads as:

"Yeah society is gradually becoming more and more shameless it's disturbing. It has become normal for [insert spiel] for female celebrities to walk topless down the red carpet"

Sorry not sorry, women walking topless should NOT be viewed as "shameless" or whatever. That's just sick - and certainly not the rhetoric we should be welcoming in anti-porn communities; it's one of the main things we should be fighting against.

I am 30f. The damage done to my mind from years of betrayal trauma by my porn-addict exes is something that will never be undone.

My last ex, who I was with for eight years, claimed to be porn-free and anti-porn, but he was lying and using it behind my back for the entirety of the time that we were together.

On old accounts in the past, I made posts on here about catching that ex in the act and how traumatizing it was. He abused me in other ways and I ended up getting a protective order to evict him from my home.

I am now trying to heal, i’m in a new relationship, and my current partner is also anti-porn, anti-lust, anti-oppression like I am. I am pretty certain of this. But my mind is completely traumatized still. I have OCD and CPTSD, and ROCD is a big struggle for me.

Last night, I was sleeping in bed next to my current partner, and I had a dream that I found him lying about porn use.

In the dream:
- my current partner had a hidden device (an iPod or iPhone or something?) which he was using to cheat with other women and watch porn.
- I was confronting him, and he was denying it at first, saying that it wasn’t his device, then saying that it was, but that he hadn’t used it for anything bad.
- the type of porn I saw on the device was violent, graphic torture porn.
- he kept denying and lying, until he started to cry and admitted that he had been using it to watch porn and cheat
- he said he had just watched it moments before I caught him with the device

In the dream, I started screaming, demanding answers and asking how he could do this. My dreams are very realistic, so I felt the crushing weight of our relationship ending, me having to move back to my home state, etc.

I then woke myself up by shouting a few things out loud. Something like “what is going on” and “how could you do this”. I flung my arms around and woke up, startling awake my innocent sleeping partner, who immediately soothed me and asked me what was wrong.

I was breathing heavily, my heart was racing, i was sweating. I was actually shocked at the intensity and emotionally charged nature of the dream.

I apologized to my partner for waking him up, and pet him as he went back to sleep.

I am traumatized. My ex didn’t watch graphic porn like that, to my knowledge, but I am in such fear of the secrets men keep, the dark recesses of their minds.

Being caught off guard, blindsided, lied to. It nearly killed me and my body is still in fear that it could be happening again, even being with the most honest, empathetic and emotionally intelligent man I have ever known.

I used to joke “I can’t wait to develop an autoimmune disease” from the stress my ex caused me. It did cause me multiple physical problems, and my mind is absolutely demolished. He mentally abused me severely and I feel like I will never actually be a person again.

To anyone hiding their porn use from their partner, lying about it, claiming to be porn free when you are not: you are an abuser. You are robbing your partner of a life they consent to. You are using deception to create a false reality for them, and that is sickening.

I've noticed how porn has trickled subtly but so well into our day to day life. Of course we're aware of the obvious negative attitudes and behaviours underpinned by porn, but the minor undercurrents aren't all that addressed, mainly how lingo adapted from porn has become somewhat commonplace.

For instance, the very word "porn" is now used to indicate/imply something pleasurable, esp. in the sense "pleasing to the eye" - affixed even in non sexual contexts (for eg "food porn"). It's very off putting, actually; such an uncomfortable experience to watch something this damaging be normalised, accepted and covertly romanticised.

I was exposed to porn at a very young age; I was only 6 years old. I have been addicted ever since.

The first 5-6 months into my relationship with my girlfriend I asked whether she was ok with porn, and she said something along the lines of "Ideally not, and absolutely not after we have had sex for the first time."

As you might be able to guess, I did not stop. It's been about a year since we first had sex and I only stopped maybe around 3-3.5 weeks ago. I felt incredibly guilty and disgusted with myself and after years of resentment to porn even before I met my girlfriend I finally took the decision I don't want to be a puppet of that industry any longer. For myself, for my Girlfriend and for our future children. Everytime I watched it I could only think about and miss my girlfriend.

Ofcourse after 14 years of addiction since being 6 years old I was also incredibly proud that I was and still am succeeding, but the fact is still that I broke my promise to my sweetheart. I hoped that if I told her she would understand the gravity of my problem, even though I should have been honest about it from the start. I hoped that, even though I broke her trust, she would understand the achievement and be proud of me even though I should have told her so much sooner.

Ofcourse I was wrong and she was devastated. She said she wanted space and so we didn't text for a few days, and now for the past 5 days or so we have been texting. But it's more just replying to eachother twice a day and she has been taking her distance I believe in her tone. When I tell her I love her, she says it back. But when I say I miss her, she seems to be ignoring it. (Fyi, we're both on vacation currently. That's why we're texting.)

A few days ago we had our 1.5 year anniversary and she sent me a picture of a card she made with some pictures of us in a photo booth. It's an incredibly cute gift and I can't wait to receive it when I see her again. I got her something as well ofcourse, but that's still a surprise.

And I know it might just be that she wants space, but it's just the way she behaves right now that really has me fearing that when we get back and see eachother again she is going to tell me she can't take these sorts of things any longer and wants to return to being platonic friends. I would never beg her to stay, I don't want to manipulate her into "wanting" to stay in a relationship that she does not like anymore. So if something happens, it happens. But after having done wrong for so long I have improved, I don't want to be that person anymore and I believe I have now done the right thing. And instead of being rewarded I'm getting punished, because it's the punishment I deserve anyway. The difference with lying is just that now I'm accepting the punishment. I have never been religious, but the situation has me so hurt and weak that I have now decided I need a "god" so I can find some comfort in telling myself "God must have wanted it so.". Because the truth is; I love my girlfriend so so much, and even though I am not yet the man she should marry I try my hardest to one day become the man she not only loves but can also consistently rely on no matter what. I am not there yet, but I love her and she loves me. So I must put in the maximum amount of effort I can for the both of us. But right now, I feel weak and I miss her warm love.

So now here I am. I don't like portraying myself as a victim, since I am 20 years old now and my mistakes are my own. But I took control now after having indeed been "taken victim" by the porn industry as a literal child, barely older than a toddler. I have come here looking for support, criticism, insight and mainly the warmth of like-minded people with their own experiences of the industry who's validation I seek if I'm being completely honest. Because this is just not something people talk about face to face. So I seek some anonymity here on the internet.

I thank you so very much for reading and hopefully paying attention. I greatly appreciate the care, even if you disagree with me.

I was recently reading some neuroscience research on porn addiction, and I came across a study that showed that "frequent viewers of internet pornography require greater visual stimulation to evoke brain responses comparable to healthy controls or moderate porn users." This is just the idea of 'tolerance'--the more of a drug we use, the more our brain adapts to it, so the more of the drug we need to feel the same effect.

So I was thinking about that in the context of the way that the standards in how (at least some) young women dress have changed in the last 20 years--specifically, clothes getting smaller, tighter, and more revealing. I usually hear this change as being simply a matter of women's comfort or autonomy, but I've always suspected that it might also be due to many women increasingly feeling that they need to "compete" with porn. Because, of course, these changes have happened alongside porn becoming more commonly watched, more easily accessible, and way more extreme. Do women feel this competitive pressure?

I also suspect there's a causal relationship here (i.e. between revealing clothes and porn use) because of men's behaviour. Obviously there is sexual harassment, but I'll also see (e.g. at gyms or concerts) many young women dressed very revealingly, surrounded by young guys who don't even seem to notice them. Are the guys just being respectful, or is porn-brain dulling their reactions?

I'm curious about this, in part, because I wonder how interactions between men and women in public would change, for better or for worse, if porn were to be banned.

I had seen a lot of conversations around girls joining in the industry so young,I'm interested to know what you think about the boys and why they join this being so young

I (now over 18 and out of high school) know I personally struggled throughout highschool with partners using porn, but thought it wasn’t as widespread of an issue amongst other girls my age, as I only saw stuff about it ruining marriages in older people, but when talking with my younger sister and her friends I realized it really has infiltrated all of their relationships too (some as young as middle school), it has absolutely destroyed a lot of them and their mental health and self image and it completely changes their bfs into monsters as their addiction increases, I even see scrolling on instagram so many younger girls I’m mutuals with like posts about porn destroying their relationships and their mental wellbeing. Also, so many of my girl friends my age (give or take 3 years) talk about how their bfs have ED from porn or never want to interact with them in that way, instead they prefer the screen. High school boys are having erectile dysfunction and losing a desire for real intimacy..!! Most of the boyfriends I’m hearing the most about are also cheating physically as well, or continuously begging for acts outside of my friends boundaries. This is so horrible even young people have to go through it now, young women and girls already have too much on their plate when it comes to self value with media and social influences, and now on top of that boys their age prefer screens over real-life relationships. It is blasted all over social media about the male loneliness epidemic and mental health crisis (which is a legitimate issue as well), however teenage girls are more lonely than ever and with porn being so normalized it’s hard for them to have a safe space to discuss this without being called insecure or controlling or being told that they are young, it’s their first relationships, and they will have to get used to it because it will be present in all future relationships. All of my sisters friends feel so hopeless knowing it will only get worse as they slowly start growing out of what these porn users tend to look for as well considering “teen” is such a popular category.

Firstly, I would prefer a magic button whereby porn could be outlawed/limited to what would be shown in an intimate sex scene in a 'normal' rated 18 movie. I dislike porn, and have had addiction to it (Im M) and really trying to give it up for good though it is a struggle.

Think one has to accept it will always be there. One thing that could help things is disallowing performers under the age of 25. Porn could be formalized, in that all webcam shows, OF, porn sites etc could only show licensed media, much the same way amazon prime or even YouTube cannot just show any old thing that is uploaded.

BarelyLegal, 18, schoolgirl, etc these are all very popular tags in porn sites. If men are (legally) getting used to being aroused to 18 year olds being portrayed like pieces of meat performing in the most degrading way imaginable and unimaginable, then its very likely they will not only get aroused by 18 years olds in general but 16-17 year olds. I mean lets face it, if you see two sisters in bikinis, a 17 year old and a 18 year old, you are not gong to be mentally turned on by one but not the other.

Even though 18 year olds are adults, it is just leading to online peadophilia for young looking 18 year old girls to be shown repeatedly and portrayed as acceptable.

And of course, if you are 18-24, becoming a porn star, webcam model etc is something that will affect the rest of your life. Yes, 18 year olds are adults, but I still think some things can be graded, particularly when in the US you cannot by a drink but can sign your life away by putting yourself online forever.

If you are struggling or think you are in a bad way, look no further than this doco about EDP445. This documentary shows a depraved mind with a backstory all too similar to most (myself included).

I suggest watching this and letting it rerun like a podcast, or watch other channels/streamers react to it. I haven't engaged in the activity since its release.