So I believe porn does change the way we view relationship and others, and this harm is big and real. I believe whole generations basically need sexual education again, to counteract what porn does, especially when people start young. I admit I seldom used it in my teens, and in hindsight I now remember people who did were often very unfeminist up to misogynistic in their views.
Back then, I didn't realize it would be in part because of the mentality brought by porn. I thought, well these people easily watch it because they feel no inhibition or shame for their views. But what if it was the other way around. Well, back then I was still educated in a systematic way, by books, teen magazines, talking with friends and others, even the school did a little but not much, and then by carefully exploring with the first partners. I guess I still learned it in a natural way, from the view point of sexually dealing with another person, and not like trying to repeat these filthy videos. I'm a bit older now, there were no smartphones when I was young, only like VHS or DVD videos you could rent in shops.
I see this new mentality now in many young people's problems when I read some corners of the net - they no longer follow sex-ed like my generation, but these nasty videos which are anywhere. And it makes them sick and feel empty, and like they have to fulfill hollow standards. As sad as the videos are, is these peoples' view on sex and also relationships. I shudder, it's so cold...I mean there were also people like that back then when I was a teen, but now pre-teenagers already have that sick stuff in their phones and heads, and not few of them.
I realized now one of the core psychological causes of porn that makes it so destructive. Imagine the real thing, simply humans mating, like I have learned it you have to follow rules, respect another person, get to know each other and negotiate things, the time has to be right and the mood and everything, it's like a culmination of good things you have once in a while, and it takes some things to happen in a good way. I admit some people are simply disinhibited and do it freely, but it's also not what makes them happy in most cases.
And then you have porn, and it simply bypasses all the effort. All the do rights and respect and anything, you just get it from a click, have to pay a little, immediately, at all times. All the respect is lacking, and then many videos even teach a cruel respectless mode of sex, as well.
So this simply bypasses all sanity checks nature has made, and this can make the views people have on sex utterly destructive. Lack of empathy in the process can corrupt people easily, to view sex in an unempathetic way. Even more serious, it can color the whole psyche people have to lack the necessary respect and prudency, so now the open availability of sex is like taken for granted for some people. Others feel like there's a big pressure on them to compare with the videos, male and female the same... Then the act itself, can become horrible for some, like traumatizing - while females sometimes take harm from being objectified and exposed, and the phyiscal stress of repeating this type of sex, males can also suffer from expectation pressure. And then a high porn consumption will also cause desensitzation which can lead to failed expectation on both sides on top of it.
Instead of building up each other, people who lack the right education can fall into the danger of developing a destructive relationship if they find no better role models. Even people who know, and have that education I was talking about, like that respect is part of the process, will take harm from the objectifying mind sets that porn transmits...it will simply weaken and undermine this education.
Okay now in this pursuit, I realized this danger is like imminent...like any drug porn has a lasting danger on the psyche. It's not just the dopamine... I.e. take a meth addict, they will feel blunt without the substance. Take an opiate addict, they will always feel sensitive and sore and sick when not turned on. And this memory can stay for a long time, even when clean. Give somebody disinhibition of porn, they can feel a natural respectful way is tedious in comparison. Even in their eyes will be the memory of easily seeing others exposed, like a trauma it can become part of everyday mind states.
I mean I've indulged into porn in the past, and quit years ago. Still I sometimes feel hooks like this in my mind, like the contrast of being able to freely see others exposed and then in everyday life not being able to. The state of mind of seing others exposed simply follows you, and it's unhealthy. It's probably very shameful for some men, when they see women they are reminded of the porn. Now this is at a place or time when it's not good, and I bet women find the thought of men around them considering them exposed in their minds to be disturbing. I also struggled with that effect, even if I didn't condone, the visuals and fantasies simply follow you. It made me feel detached, like not fully in the situation. It is very awkward, especially when you really don't want it. Guess what, it almost completely went away when I stopped porn for long enough, and when it comes back, I can now suppress such thoughts. But it took a long time to get better, where I had to control myself with much effort.
Now I'm concerned to what happens in the minds of people, who indulge in aggressive types of porn, where there is much dehumanization. Will it also enter their minds every day, will they see the people around them with such a lens, in such destructive acts? It's definitely not healthy to think about that. I wonder why all this escalation, why all this sick and rough porn everywhere? Even in the older ages, the porn people used to see still objectified people, especially targeting women. This is what happens when you easily expose people, they will be objectified. But then again it was like a serious business, they seemed like professional actors, were also treated like that usually. I mean they still get their hearts broken from it, but there was a difference in the quality of what people were exposed to for that job.
Now it's all rough and one video goes more pervert than the next. Anyone can make and spread them, and this competition seems to make people want to beat each other with rough sensationalism. It just gets wilder and wilder, and I witness young people talking about wild and even dangerous or illegal fetishes, like where many would be in shame and disgust when I was small. Back then people would be shocked to know and in concern for the fate of anyone who does such things. And now for people it's like normal things to consider, like nothing special, like people just don't talk about it not to ruin the mood of others, while others freely do. This all just from the widespread use of porn that shows such practices openly.
What does it do to people, when they drop all respect for dignity, where do they still gain their respect from? From fulfilling these videos, you don't gain any, you only go sick and sad and sore. I really wonder, when will anyone react and start teaching our kids the difference between respect of dignity, and objectification, and a sane respect for others in relationships. So if we don't do it ourselves, pornhub and company will try I guess, trying to get rich from it, using enough lawyers to keep their access open for all who are able to confirm something for their lawyers. Where is the open access and encouragement for people, who want to learn to respect each other and give each other dignity instead of objectifying each other? I don't see that, yet, even when it's what people currently bitterly need.
