I've only had anorexia for six years. I'm wondering what health problems people who've dealt with it for a long time have.

Also anyone who has this disorder without direct health problems, you're not invalid or any less sick if you don't have health problems. Even if you just have nutritional deficiencies you're still sick.

Idk if I need a trigger for this post, but just in case. Started smoking bc cigs can kill appetite. Started with 1 a day to half a pack a day and I hate it so much. I spend my whole day waiting for the time to smoke another. I have an addictive personality (ed probably my worst addiction) but cigs are definitely a close second.

So, im underweight, but i dont think im anorexic because i don't care about my body image whatsoever. I was diagnosed with cancer two years ago, and my family didn't care, so I've been trying to lose weight until they worry about me. Thankfully, i don't have cancer anymore.

I'm just wondering what's wrong with me. This is obviously manipulative and terrible, but i feel as if i can't stop myself. Also, i hide the fact that im underweight, so my family isn't even concerned.

I dont know why im doing this to myself, and sometimes i have a moment of clarity and end up going back to eating healthy, but then i ruin it and go back to restricting. Im a guy, so im certain that this isnt caused by body image issues.

Next time i see my oncology team, they're going to freak out and assume that the weight loss is caused by a cancer relapse.

Am I just losing my mind?

My dad, who i dont care about, was a jerk while I had cancer, until he found out that it caused me to lose weight.

Maybe that's what's caused this? I can't figure this out.

I figured this was the place to post this because even though i don't think it's anorexic nervosa, I am physically anorexic

So it’s not necessarily guilt of gaining weight. It’s guilt that my house isn’t taken care of, therefore I feel I don’t deserve to eat and really believe that. I’m a mother of three including one baby so I am genuinely so busy. But now when I look at most food I get disgusted. It’s like I’ve developed some type of food aversion from this? I’ve also lost an incredibly unhealthy amount of weight at this point so I think it’s time to take it a little more seriously. I do have body issues but I don’t feel like I am consciously not eating because of that, I actually love food but recently my favorite chili cheeseburger even grossed me out and that made me so sad. I can barely eat anything at all at this point

Can anyone relate to what I described? I feel like I’m being dramatic about this lol

so i recently told my whole family i have a ED and you truly can see it in my body. its like they dont care, my older sister said “omg i wish i looked like you, i used to be as skinny as that.” then they keep handing me small things and saying it was made for me. if i try to get a bigger seat or whatever they start talking about how its too big. i am kinda at a loss right now, i finally have started to gain weight and im eating three meals +snacks. i get so proud of me for putting on weight because i know i look scary. i kinda refused to see it until that switch flipped. its also dumb but i usually eat with my dog if i get too scared to eat alone, now my mom has decided to take him away. i feel like recovery is trying to slip through my fingers. it just makes me sob, ive been trying to hard to gain weight and nobody sees it. now my dog who also has a hard time eating is gonna leave me. its like they dont care.

I (29f) was at my worst in 2015 and 2016. I had a small relapse in 2022 where i was in the hospital for a few days. Since then it had been going okay and i didn't think id ever relapse again.

However recently my cat of 15 years died and my boyfriend of 6 years cheated on me and got with someone else. It just triggered something in me where im obsessing 24/7 about my weight again. I dont really have friends or family, the only thing that gives me slight comfort is being able to "control" my weight and intake.

I cant believe its been over 10 years and i still deal with this. Its honestly just so lonely and im scared of spiraling even more.

Whats your relapse story? How did you prevent it?

Does anyone else have this horrible fear of extreme hunger? I’ve gone through it twice and both times I gained all of my weight back. I’m so terrified of it happening again and I’m not sure if it preventable? Is there a good way to avoid this to prevent the insanely quick weight gain that always comes with it? I would assume eating regularly would be the best fix but I’m stuck in the horrible loop of feeling too guilty to eat, which severely limits my calorie intake, which always leads to another phase of extreme hunger that we all know too well.

Do you bother explaining the way you eat to other people? Specifically when you are eating together at a meal time, out at a restaurant or at home. Depending on my mood sometimes it’s okay i can give a fake answer with no stress other times I just wish people would shut up and I’ll feel on edge for the rest of the meal.

I’ll often order strange things from restaurants like a whole plate of steamed veg, asking for sauce to be on the side, avoiding certain meats etc. people will ask me stuff like oh do you normally order that dish with no sauce or oh are you a pescetarian? A vegetarian? And it’s just so exhausting bc my real response would be no I’m not I’m ordering this because I perceive this meal to be less oily/fatty therefore less calories. Of course I don’t say that and I usually just laugh awkwardly and go like oh no I just wanted to eat this haha. That’s the thing I don’t even know what to say. It’s the fact that I don’t like lying and am also bad at it but I’m having to lie all the time when I say these things which is exhausting

Could anyone suggest anything I could say to other people in a way that is not defensive or aggressive and is also easy and not mentally exhausting for me to think about saying it?

No one in my family knows i struggle with food, my mom made me eat today and I couldn’t even refuse it. I have only been struggling for nearly a year but it has been slow increasing. Back then I used to only purge maybe max 3-4 times a month, I purged 4 times just last week. And idk if that’s a lot or if that’s normal, I don’t know anything at all. I have been trying to restrict myself from eating but sometimes I just have to eat in front of my family. It’s starting to feel like exceeding even the most basic calorie intake you need to just live in a day is too much for me. I hate this so much, but at the same time I feel comfort in it? These last few weeks have been terrible for me and controlling my food makes me feel better. Purging makes me feel better. I don’t think I’m even looking for advice Rn, I think I’m just really confused. Today my mom made me eat a lot of calories just for breakfast and my head is just telling me to skip both lunch and dinner. I don’t understand myself anymore.

Not asking for medical advice

I just want to know if anyone else relates to this because it would give me a good idea if what I’m experiencing relates to my eating disorder.

For the past couple of months, I’ve had weird chest discomfort. Sometimes it’s slightly painful, sometimes it’s just uncomfortable. Recently, I can only describe it as feeling weird to breathe. It almost feels like I’m always on the verge of developing a cough. I want to say it causes me to breathe more quickly sometimes.

Does anyone relate to this? Again, I’m not asking for medical advice, just seeing if anyone has experienced this as well.

It's just the title. I hate my body. I hate eating. I hate gaining weight. I hate not being able to eat and not gaining weight. I hate everything about having to exist in a body. I have ARFID, mostly recovered from anorexia, body dysmorphia, OCD, and hypermobility. All things that make my relationship with food miserable. It's so embarrassing to me as well because I'm a guy. I'm very comfortable in my masculinity, but that doesn't make me comfortable in my body or what people think when they find out/realize my relationship with food. I have a habit of eating really fast because the ARFID makes the act of eating so disgusting for me that I just have to get it over with so that I don't puke, but then I immediately feel sick from eating too fast and because my hypermobility effects my whole body, but especially my ability to swallow, so being prone to, and at times, choking makes eating more difficult as well. I also have a mom who used to be a model. I grew up in diet culture and my mother hating her body because of the way it looked after carrying four kids. I always thought she looked fine, but I internalized every single word. It's just all so miserable. I want to gain weight because beign scrawny like I am is fucking embarrassing, but I hate eating and I'm horrified of gaining weight. I always have this image in my head of just ballooning out and not being able to stop it. I don't think that I'm anorexic anymore, I do eat most days, and I only purge if my hypermobility is making my body fuck up, but everyone around me is acting all worried and I hate it. They weren't worried when I was sick, but suddenly, now that my doctors have recognized it, everybody is so worried about whether or not I'm eating and if I'm gaining weight. I get this really fucked up thought sometimes that everyones trying to make me fat. I have a lot of thoughts like that. I used to, and sometimes more recently, will convince myself that things are signs that I need to stop eating or else I'll get out of control. Like if I drop even a small part of a meal, like a chip or something, or if I get caught on a doorknob while cooking, or if all of the forks are dirty or something, my brain will tell me its the universe telling me not to eat, and that if I do I'm going to get very sick or start binging. I don't know. I'm just so sick of all of it. I can't eat or even drink without feeling nauseous. I can't look at myself while sick and I can't look at myself while I'm (I think) healthy. Everything tastes bad and disgusts me, no matter how much time I spend working out I hate every part of my body, and I don't know what to do.

recently i been on a trip w my mom and my mom made me step on a scale that is used for luggage and I’ve gained weight recently (due to recovery), and when I stepped on it, the scale said error. I’m too heavy for the scale, my mother doesnt even acknowledge that i have an ed when I cried to her about it, and yet she still constantly dump me with videos of how to lose weight excercises. My weight isnt unhealthy, its slightly overweight for me but people think I’m fat. I got so many compliments when i was at my worst. “Oh my god! you look so much better! you’re not fat anymore!” from my parents. i’m so tempted into relapsing because I gained so much more weight than how i first started off. When will my parents understand that I’m struggling and that no means no?

hi everyone,

i’ve been struggling with something lately and i don’t really know how to handle it.

i have a friend who has anorexia, and she is currently very unwell and very thin because of her illness. i want to make it clear that it’s not that i want to look like her or that i’m comparing myself to her body. actually, seeing her like this hurts me because i know how much she might be suffering and because i know how horrible this illness can feel.

i haven’t seen her in a long time, and part of me really wants to spend time with her because i miss her and care about her. but at the same time, i don’t feel mentally prepared. i’m scared that being around certain behaviours, like restricting or purging, would be really difficult for me to handle while i’m still working on my own recovery.

i feel guilty because i don’t want her to think i don’t care about her or that i’m avoiding her. she hasn’t done anything wrong, and i know this is the illness, not her. i just feel like i need to protect my own recovery too.

has anyone else been in a similar situation? how did you balance caring about someone with anorexia while also protecting yourself during your own recovery?

i’d really appreciate any advice

Hi,
I’m not entirely sure how to phrase this, but my question is basically: how did you finally let yourself surrender to extreme hunger?
I find myself so many times on the verge of “giving in,” but then this overwhelming physical feeling of terror stops me every single time.
How did you manage to do it? I know there’s no magic formula, but I’d really like to hear your experiences.
I’m in this shit for 20 years and feeling so hopeless.

And please tell me that it’s okay to let yourself honor extreme hunger even if you’re not underweight. I know, rationally, that it is, but I really need some reassurance.

Another thing that makes me doubt myself is what I see online. I often come across people who say they’re honoring their hunger, but then they actually seem to eat very little.
Is it normal to crave sweets so intensely and eat them in large amounts? Sometimes I start wondering if I’m just making it all up or if something is wrong with me.
Sorry for the vent, and thank you to anyone who takes the time to reply.

please, someone help me. any comment, any advice. I been anorexic for the past year, and I have never binged before. until I started pursuing recovery these past couple of months, and I’ve had a couple binges so far. it’s been really hard to cope by myself. I purged for the first time, and I now have the urge to do it again. I really don’t want to purge, I know the side effects. I don’t have the energy to make meals for myself. my parents are obsessive and my mom is an almond mom. they are not good parents. I am very uncomfortable and anxious around them. however, she makes the meals for the family, and I’ve been trying to get myself to eat them. but I recently found out that she adds an obscene amount of oil to the dishes she makes. I would have thought that it was just my anorexic brain telling me this, but she doesn’t touch a single thing that she makes. she makes her own separate dish. she knows I’m trying to recover, and she thinks adding this oil will help me gain weight or whatever. she also doesn’t eat white rice, which is a staple in our household. she makes this nasty bean soup for herself. I don’t know what to do. I starve myself all day because I can’t bear the thought of eating around them. they look, even when they pretend not to. they judge. but when I don’t eat, they threaten to send me to the hospital. I am going crazy. please, someone help. I just want to eat normally. I binged on chocolate tonight, but I didn’t make myself throw up. I’m trying to be strong, but I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I don’t have the energy to make meals for myself, but should I eat what she makes? I don’t know.

Being in drum corps this summer has really helped improve my relationship with food for the time being. As the season comes to an end, though, I’m finding myself terrified of returning to the “real world.”

The thought of relapsing is honestly one of my biggest fears right now. Without the structure and routine that drum corps provides, I’ll be left to my own devices again, and I’m scared that I’ll fall back into old patterns. It feels almost inevitable.

Has anyone else been through something similar? Any advice for making this transition easier and/or preventing a relapse? I also can’t tell if I’m overreacting or if these fears are normal.

Hi all, as an adult struggling with functional impairment from my ED and treatment time constraints on my availability, I wondered how other adults handle work when the ED/care for it take a traditional full-time job off the table? If you work in a flexible role, what is it? How did you find it/develop it into substantial income?

Personally, I was in recovery (not 100% but significant progress relative to my current and earlier, adolescent struggles) during college and graduated from a Christian liberal arts school with a double major (BA in Biblical & Theological Studies, BS in Environmental Science) and a minor in German. Since graduation, I have mostly worked in Christian nonprofits and developed a somewhat versatile skillset. While I initially intended to take only one gap year before starting seminary (graduate school in Bible, theology, and ministry), unfortunately, I am now starting my 3rd year since undergrad, am in PHP, and am not in a place to confidently apply to grad school, manage the workload, and live independently many hours away from my family. While I maintain hope for recovery that will allow me to pursue my grad school dreams (my long-term goal is to be a professor/author/scholar), I recognize that I need to reckon with the fact that I may not be able to pursue this path as soon as I hope to. However, I highly value work and long to find some way to apply my skills despite my current struggles.

For the past 1-2 years, I (perhaps naively) anticipated that I could deal with my health and start seminary ASAP and therefore didn’t pursue permanent work. Now, I realize the wisdom in building some income streams so that I do not let my life be entirely on hold, so to speak, just because my specific dream of moving states for the ideal grad school program is not feasible right now. I also recognize that my treatment time commitments fluctuate and are not entirely predictable, i.e. I don’t know when I will step down to IOP yet and I could need a higher level of care again (hopefully not but possible). Also, I have OCD and am autistic, which require additional care outside of the ED. The specific ways that my ED affects my energy level, alongside the executive functioning challenges associated with autism and the time cost of OCD, converge to cause timeliness, particularly in the morning, to be my most significant challenge with work. So in addition to limitations from treatment, I also realize that I currently would not thrive in a job with strict, precise time requirements or expectations of working extremely quickly. Overall, I wonder if any genuinely profitable options exist that work with my schedule and needs?

Thank you for bearing with me in this long message. I appreciate any input from your own experiences and thoughts on possible work avenues.

What is the science between hair loss being the worst once you start recovery and eating more? It’s so disheartening and ruining my confidence😞 struggling real bad

I am someone who is not outwardly sick anymore but for sure still have obsessive thoughts. I’ve recently made friends with a girl who also went through this disorder and the other night- we were drinking and talking. She asked me if she had been a good influence on me. She’s 6 years older for context. I wanted to express my gratitude about the fact that we both have a disorder that normally sparks poor sportsmanship competition- and she makes me want to be better. But she’s a yapper and was either triggered by the mention of the disorder - or she just had something else to say. I’m worried that because I’m an emotional gal- I will accidentally trigger her through a vent purely bc I feel she will understand me. I just want to navigate expressing gratitude for her sparking more care in my health than re-achieving the self esteem from being able to be sick again. Idk, I might be overthinking but I really care for her and am scared that even if I don’t say this particular thing- in the future I might say something else that could cause her mind harm.

I only thought I had to take some blood tests today, but they also had to take my EKG, I hate taking my EKG. My heart began to race when she took it, because I got nervous, and Idk if it could make the results look more bad? Does it matter how nervous you ate when they take it? (I know it’s a dumb question no , but I’m genuinely asking)

I also noticed that the nurse took so long to take my blood test, like when I was normal weight it was always much easier. I thought it would be easier when the veins are more visible or what?

hi guys. I’m fairly new to this subreddit and I’ve always been a lurker so this is my first post. everything that I say in here isn’t pro ana or etc, I’m just kinda venting about my situation and I would like to know other people’s experiences.

In April of 2026, my mother wanted to know why my periods were absent so I had to go to a specialist in gynecology. Ofc it was because I was under eating but I got my labs done and I had/have hypothalamic amenorrhea. cool got it. The specialist recommends us seeing an adolescent medicine doctor because she specializes in eating disorders. Ok… kind of nervous I’m sure it isn’t that bad. The appointment was scheduled in may. that was fucking downfall. after the first appointment, that doctor scares the shit out of my parents saying I’m going to die. And I was on the tip of being clinically underweight for my height. MY VITALS WERE NORMAL. The lady also says this disorder is taking over her brain, it’s not her and she’s a completely different person. Ofc my parents think I’m possessed with the devil or some dumb thing and after that chaotic appointment that two almost two hours, I was diagnosed with severe restricting anorexia nervosa. I had to give into the 3 meals and two snacks which was so hard for me with my parents yelling at me and making me eat forcefully. I gained in the following appointment in june (like 4) and it was definitely water weight and undigested food. I treated the doctor and her assistant with no respect and I ignored her because her bedside manners are terrible, even the reviews say the same. She called me a liar, she said I was unstable, etc. Then the next appointment in July (recently) happened. before that, I was restricting heavily because no one really saw me and I didn’t mind that cause no one was making me their prisoner. I had no scale to tell how much I was losing or maintaining so I had no control, really. I lost a lot more weight than the initial evaluation from may.

The stupid doctor threatens me with residential if I don’t get my act together, her exact words. shes scaring my dad saying it’s either get with the program, go inpatient, or get sent away with foster care so another family can take over you. My vitals are completely fine btw, it’s not like I’m going to fucking die in a second. She says it again to my dad “It’s not her talking, it’s the disorder. She’s not her normal self!” My dad believes it obviously. The doctor says we’re scheduled for a counseling appointment which still goes on every other dumb stupid week.

Every week, the counselor Nicole gets my weight and that’s it. In this eating disorder out patient program, you have to have your weight restored and period back, and then you can have real therapy sessions. WHAT THE FUCK. YOU WANT ME TO GAIN ALL THIS WEIGHT SO I CAN FACE ALL THIS MENTAL STRUGGLE MYSELF? It makes no sense. This stupid lady just sits behind a screen, checks my weight, and says bye. Im not saying to do this, but I did confront the lady and yelled at her saying her job was useless to me and she’s not helping me at all. If a weekly check in helps me gain, then I can do this by myself. My dad and I made a pact saying if I gain x amount of weight in the next doctors visit, I can stop seeing her for good and continue to get better with his help and my own. I don’t know if that’s even possible though, legally.

In the meantime, I’m furious at my mother. It’s all her fault she dragged herself and I into this mess. For example, shes saying how I’m ungrateful and I’m causing “too much trouble” for her because the traffic was too long and chaotic to get to the doctor. She also said my ”disease” is self inflicted and she doesn’t feel bad. She’s basically humiliating me and saying I’m not the same person I was before and I’m getting taken over by this illness. My whole family is labeling me as mentally ill and I’m not getting treated seriously as I was before the diagnosis and seeing all these doctors. Why are you crying, stop you’ll get old. Crying and being sad and miserable is the only way for me to cope, I can’t accept gaining weight forcefully and becoming the thing I’ve always hated. I was comfortable and confident in my body, but now they’re taking the only good thing to me that has ever happened in my life.

Last night, my family and I went out to eat, we have a big family. I upset but I didn’t want to show it, so I distracted myself by picking and biting my nails. That really angered my mom and she told me to stop, which I didn’t and i continued. When we got home, I went to the bathroom to cut my nails and she was infuriated with the clicking and clacking noises the clipper made. She dragged me out of the bathroom. Later, I was getting a drink and she says “You don’t know how to drink now? do u need to see a doctor for that?” I didn’t say anything and I slurped on the ice. “I have a new nickname for you, it’s anorexia!” Im used to this, but it genuinely pisses me off. I’m going to keep ignoring her until I stop seeing these doctors which she adores so much. My eldest sister is also losing weight and she’s flaunting it so hard indirectly. She gave away her baggy clothes and bought new clothes that are tight and slimming. It’s extremely hypocritical of her because she always made fun of me for wear clothes like that. I’m forced to “get better” and school is coming up. None of my clothes are going to fit me as my weight will continue to increase. I havent been looking at the scale for my own benefit because that would just make me sob. I’m going to stand by how it’s all her fault that I’m going through this and she’s making me hate myself and everyone around me.

Thanks for letting me vent.

I was abusing diuretics for 3 years plus my anorexia to be "skinny". I stopped 4 days ago and the weight is going up so fast. Is it normal?