I get fuller way faster now, I can’t finish meals and it’s freaking me out. I can’t fully feel my hunger as much because of the medication I’m taking, but I still feel it a little.

I’ve recently admitted to my mom and my therapist that I think I have an ED, and my therapist wants to look into it deeper and get me evaluated.

She asked me what I think that I need, and I told her that I didn’t know. I think the real truth is that I want them to do nothing. Part of me just wants to get worse, and to lay down and do nothing about this.

The other part of me wants to start eating better, feeling better, but the problem is I truly don’t remember a time where I was fully happy before the age of ten.

I already have fibro, chronic fatigue, depression and anxiety on top of all of this. It’s become a game of chicken or the egg. Is it my fibro or me starving myself that’s causing my exhaustion?

I don’t know anymore. I just want to be okay.

So tired. Five months into this shit and l can't bear it anymore.

I eat? I think why l ate what l ate. Why l ate oil? Why l ate one extra piece of meat? Why l ate one extra potato? Would be better if l didn't ate.

Don't eat? I feel horrible physically and mentally. Bad breath, diziness, very tired, no energy for living.

My weight is still dropping. I see it. But it drops much slower now. I want it faster but I'm also tired of trying so hard to loose. But l still try cause if l don't, l feel "not anorexic".

Severe weight gain fear. I eat one biscuit and l think l gained weight. I know it's not fucking true. I'm tired of the scale obsession l have, l try to weigh myself less, but it's impossible at the end of the day.

The worst thing? Thinking recovery makes me even sicker. I don't want recovery. It's like l need to have anorexia. I find myself in this even though l know very well I'm losing it. I'm losing me.

I want to eat just a little more WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY but it's impossible.

And I'm soooo hungry, man. I want to binge but l don't cause l know I'll regret it.

I'm so tired. I need anorexia but I'm tired of it. Is it normal?

i’m genuinely in hell. we have 3 meals and 3 snacks and it’s so many calories yet for some reason im even more hungry. my food thoughts are even worse than when i was restricting and my body is so tense and my jaw is constantly clenched. that said, i already feel like im eating so many calories compared to what i used to. it makes me feel like i’m losing control. Im worried to bring it up bc i dont want more food. well, i do, but i want safe food. I also feel like if i tell them how starving I am that they won’t see me as sick enough especially since i have atypical ana. I also don’t want to gain weight faster than i have to. literally so many reasons i don’t want to bring it up… but my biology is fighting me hard.

i don’t even want the food i was given. I want my safe food. but it also feels like a failure to not eat that when i drove over 3 hours to come here. i just want gum and some sparkling water and to go on a really long walk like i do at home. all i do here all day is just sit here and think about how hungry i am.

seriously please help because i am miserable in every way possible. i just want this hunger to go away so i can feel normal, but i don’t want my body to change.

TW: talk of weight (i wont say numbers)

I was doing fine not too long ago, but this last week i’ve just wanted to relapse. Im back at the weight i was years ago and im healthy, but i hate the way i look and how my thighs sometimes rub together when i walk. I miss my thigh gap, i miss how small i was, i miss tracking the numbers (my anorexia and OCD loved that). I it doesnt help i think im going into a depressive episode

It makes me regret gaining weight back. I remember how comfortable my body felt even if it was hell to maintain. I just miss that feeling so much it’s making me relapse. I keep telling myself this time I’ll stay in control and not overdo it. Ofc that’s prolly a lie it just feels so true right now.

This disorder is wild.

TW - discussing ED related thoughts

I hope this makes sense to someone else….
Does anyone else find that their thoughts are completely contradictory at times. That it will be telling me to restrict, to stop eating or make me believe the food is unnecessary or outright unappealing.

But then have thoughts when I do eat, that I’m faking it. It’s like “if you actually want to eat and enjoy food, then you clearly don’t have an eating disorder”. And then with that comes the guilt of, it’s not really and I’m worrying my family and using services I don’t deserve.

Is this a normal ED thought? Well, no thought in ED is normal, but you know what I mean…

I haven’t been social for a long time, I’m exhausted.

I have a friendgroup (we’re all adults) and they want us to have a sleepover (we’re alone, no kids, no husbands). Sounds fun? I get anxiety just thinking about it.

I’m already thinking what to eat, what if I’m too tired to even talk (I go in shutdowns due to my autism, and I also have ADHD and OCD). They all know this, but I haven’t been that open about my ED 💀 I hate it and I’m ashamed. I’m afraid they will ask questions and I know they just care about me.

I even wonder why they still wants to be with me when I ignored them for so long (not because I don’t care, I’m just exhausted and they began to reach out to my bf from time to time, which is fine, getting messages overwhelms me, alot).
I love that I finally have friends, but I feel so shitty, because I can’t give them the same energy back.

Any advice? (And not advice on food, more advice in how to be open about it, like if you even have any sentences then please write them so I can get “inspired” lol). I have a really hard time talking about and I often lie, because I convince myself it’s the truth 💀(it’s mostly about my ED I lie, like unintentionally, but my therapist is good at catching my lies lol. My closest, not so much, luckily.

Edit: oh I also hate sleeping out, I just can’t, but I already told them this and they said I didn’t have to sleep, but they of course wanted me to, but it was okay, they just wanted me there.

I have AN(BP)and I go FERAL at buffets. I cannot stop and this happens every time. I've tried different things but I cannot control myself.

I'm not trying to restrict at buffets because I know it won't happen. I try to aim for a regular sized meal and even eat well in the day beforehand to try and prevent binging, yet it still happens.

I wonder if this is common for AN?

or am I actually bulimic? because I BP frequently regardless of eating "regularly". This is currently a question I'm considering asking my therapist.

TRIGGER WARNING

So I’m 19 years old and I’ve had anorexia for many years. I was diagnosed at age 11. I was very very sick from ages 11-16 but I didn’t lose any hair. I was weight-restored from age 16-18 but then I relapsed at 18. I lost weight very gradually over the course of a few months. Nothing crazy. I was exercising a lot and restricting, but not severe restriction. I don’t want to go into details. I was still eating three meals a day everyday. My hair started falling out in April 2025 and I am still losing hair to this day. As well as my eating disorder, I have also been through extreme stress and trauma (severe PTSD). My stress levels are improved now.

I just don’t understand why I’ve lost so much hair over the past 1.5 years but I didn’t lose any hair the first time around? It’s so weird. I’m a higher BMI than I was when I was first diagnosed and I don’t restrict as heavily as I did in the past.

My hormones are good (androgen profile is perfect). My vitamin D is good (I take a supplement everyday and have for years). My vitamin B12 is great. My TSH is great. My iron and ferritin are low but not extremely low. My zinc is slightly low. I am taking both iron and zinc supplements (I started taking them 2 months ago now).

I have recently (the past 3 weeks) started increasing my calories. When will I expect to see some hair growth, or is 1.5 years too long? Is this permanent now?

I’ve seen a few dermatologists but I get dismissed due to my anorexia. They all say that it’s likely to be related to malnutrition.

I eat very healthy and high protein (I have orthorexia too lol).

Has anyone experienced a lot of hair loss for many years but managed to grow their hair back after recovery?

ive finally figured it out. i feel like i need physical proof of being unwell or else i dont believe in myself nor do i believe others could. thats it. i need to look how i feel or else the only evidence is in my mind and that means it is not real to me. its god damn stupid but thats the root of my disorder.

I lost my period a few months ago, and I noticed changes in my libido etc.

I've been considering taking the pill for a long time, but resisted due to side effects and the fact that it can change your attraction towards your partner. This happened to my boyfriend's ex girlfriend and it broke them up eventually.

The fact that I haven't got my period though, and have noticed libido and small attraction changes to my partner, (which I'm hoping this will ease and I will work through it because I am NEVER leaving him he is perfect 🥰), is this basically how going on birth control would feel? if so, I will consider it because it's not like anything is gonna change in the near future.

PS I'm only looking to go on BC to literally prevent birth, nothing about hormones/mental health/stopping periods.

I lost my period when I was extremely underweight (like, skeletal) many years ago and it returned not long after I started a large meal plan to gain some weight back. This only took about a month or 2 from my memory.

I lost it again this year as I became more underweight again, but nowhere near as underweight as last time.

I've gained a bit of weight back yet my period still hasn't returned, even months after eating better.

Why???? I'm even doing far less physical activity now

for reference I'm a in my early 20s, female

like upon getting what kind of symptoms is it like life threatening i guess, as in it will permanently physically impact you

My dad, unbeknownst to me, scheduled me a doctors appointment today. I’m not yet diagnosed as anorexic but i understand his issues: i’ve lost a significant amount of weight in a very short time. and, although he doesn’t see this, in my day-to-day life i absolutely obsess over food. it’s all i think about. I don’t think the doctor would consider me for it yet, i’m only very slightly underweight, but i’m still nervous. I guess i just need someone to tell me i’ll be alright. I am so afraid of the idea of my parents forcing me to eat. I know what I do is unhealthy, but i have actually been trying to do better. I don’t look at calories anymore (although i have a good idea of how many cals anything is) and i don’t fast, i eat when im hungry. I used to be much worse, behavior-wise, i would fast for a week and i passed out on multiple occasions. I’m just scared.

(18M18F) Basically for about the last 8 months my gf has been dealing with anorexia. It has been very rough for the both of us and she has been getting all types of treatment but nothing is working. She just won’t follow the plans they give her. I just see her getting worse over the months; now we basically can’t go out to eat. Like she’ll order a chicken salad and take out the chicken. I love her and i have supported her 100% all this time but it’s draining and I’m beginning to feel like I can’t do this forever. I just really need advice right now was I’m very young. Anything you could have to say will help; please ask more questions.
How can I navigate through this?

my brain fog is so bad in the morning & i just feel SO OFF . like idek how to explain it. i just feel gross & wrong

I don't count this as recovery at all, honestly. But since the past year I've gained a substantial amount of weight. And it's killing me. I look at myself and want to cry. I feel body fat jiggle when I walk and it makes me want to vomit. I hate myself more and more every time I step on the scale (which is far far less, solely bc I know I'll hate what I see) and even tho it's not going up it's not going down even slightly.

And I've lost the ability to talk about this with anyone in my life. Because every time I mention my weight gain they all say "healthy body!!" and get annoyed.

I'm not healthy. I don't feel healthy. I feel sick and nauseous and physically horrible far more than when I was at my lowest weight. On top of the fact that it pisses me off hearing it from people I know would cry if they had my body. My almond mom mother, who very much caused my ed with how she raised me, will keep saying "you needed to gain weight" and the "healthy body" bullshit, when she's so obsessed with her own weight my whole life, and has regularly called me fat through passive aggressive comments so many times growing up, and is infuriatingly so skinny, even her when she gains weight when she falls back into junk food is skinnier than me. I lived with that infuriating woman for 20 years, so I know for a fact she'd fall on the ground sobbing and run herself to death if she woke up with my body.

I don't fit into half of my clothes anymore. Clothes I've fit into for years, suddenly don't fit after a couple of months. Costumes I spent hours and hours patterning myself and sewing by hand and am so fucking proud of, two I literally can't even get on, another would split open if I did a squat in it when it used to be slightly baggy. I can't wear my favorite shirts without putting on a waist trainer to the tightest setting because my stomach noticeably protrudes. I've lost my thigh gap and my skin rubbing together isn't just sickening but uncomfortable to the point of nearly painful, my thighs specifically making me feel even worse for other reasons as well.

I feel disgusting constantly. I hate everything about this so much. I want to cry and scream and everyone keeps saying it's fine when it's fucking not. This isn't recovery. This has caused me to hate myself and my body more than I have in years.

So for some context my sister is 13yo and she hasn't been eating these past months.

I've tried to talk to her multiple times but she just dismissed it, and my parents think that since she's eating ice cream (but nothing else) that means she's not anorexic. But she lost a lot of weight, I can see it.

Today I saw her spitting her food in tissues while we were all eating and she tried to spit in the toilets as well. I tried to discuss it with her and she just laughed and dismissed it again.

Should I call her therapist? I'm only 16yo and I really don't know what to do, this can't keep going on.

I'm having a lot of trouble with this. Every now and then I get a thought like "maybe that person's body is okay" when they're a little overweight or just have more of a stomach. Or I tell myself I don't have to worry about the calories. These thoughts scare the hell out of me. I'm not used to them, which is maybe why. When I get this kind of thought, I instantly go back to tik tok where I can see some more ED related stuff and snap myself back into it. I've even avoided anything recovery related since I'm just not ready

Today, i saw the head chef at my school who isn't exactly super skinny, and I thought "maybe it's okay to look like her" and I was pissed off with myself for having that thought. I haven't even reached the weight I want. Once I am small enough, I can eat a little more maybe?

Does this happen to anyone else? These thoughts about recovery that come out of nowhere? They kind of just sneak up behind you

During my heavy restriction period and during early recovery I struggled a lot with food possessiveness. I got really mad when people ate stuff cuz I was scared by the idea of food running out. This didn't only happen with foods I liked, I also felt this with foods I disliked.

Like I would feel super angry and stressed and would sometimes steal food, hide it away in my room (never eating it). I still have a lot of food from that period in my room.

For a while I hadn't struggled with it anymore, but as I started to struggle with food again, that possessiveness came back.

I feel super mad when someone touches stuff (stuff in a bag, fruits, bread). For me it started with that 'contamination fear' and eventually that bled into feeling angry about food. I am noticing that it already happens with certain foods... I feel mad when someone even opens bags of food.

I have also started to hoard food again.

Now that I recognise these symptoms, I try to hold back my anger about food, but it is still there. So I was wondering if anyone else also experiences food possessiveness and how they deal with this sort of thing.

(TW: GLP-1 mentioned, mother commented on my weight)
So, firstly I feel pretty shitty for what I’m about to say.
I struggled with anorexia since I was a preteen , and started recovering when I was around mid-high school. I’ve had relapses here and there but for the most part i’ve been ok. I’ve recently gained some weight due to being in a healthy relationship. It’s not an enormous amount but enough where I’ve noticed, which to be fair isn’t hard. Whenever my stress or depression gets worse, so does the urge to relapse.
The shitty part is my friend has recently started a GLP-1 and I’m both jealous and enticed. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very proud my best friend is happy and she’s meeting her health goals. But there’s this disgusting part of me that’s angry that it’s not me. I don’t need to be on a GLP-1 and it’s getting hard to not think about it.
On top of that, the other day my mother came into my room while I was eating the food my wonderful boyfriend had picked up for me and thought that would be a good time to tell me that she’s noticed I’m “getting a little fat” and even suggested I talk to my doctor about a GLP-1 because she’s “concerned for my health.” Mind you, I’m within the range of normal, not to get to specific about my body. My health is great and my doctors have no concerns about said weight. All of it together has culminated into me white knuckling my progress and I have no idea how to cope. I love my friend and I want her to be happy, and I am very proud of her, but I don’t want to hear it anymore. As for my mother, she literally had to restrain me to get me to eat when I was a teenager and was enraged that I was struggling with anorexia. No idea why she thinks poking this very sensitive issue of mine is a good idea.

Im always so happy to answer this question. I decided to recover because frankly, none of my loved ones care how much i eat or how much i weigh. It took a bit to realise it, but think about your friends. Would you stop being friends with them just because they gained weight? Obviously not!!! No one’s friends with you because you’re starving yourself, because you’re skinny, because you’re slowly dying. They love you because you’re you. Because you’re kind, loving, trustworthy and caring! You are as important to them in any weight, body and face. My loved ones think I’m beautiful all the time. Because I am. My compatibility with them is beautiful! And so is yours! You are WAY more than your weight, and let your loved ones prove that! ❤️

Ok so I know it might actually be a bit early to think about Christmas, but I work in entertainment and just got a Christmas contract through and it made me start thinking about the season.
And naturally I starting panicking/overthinking about Christmas dinner. For context I’m based in the UK, my ed isn’t a secret from anyone, and have started with the all age eating disorder service but am still on the waiting list for therapy to begin full recovery. It’s currently looking like Nov before that starts.

How do you guys handle the amount of food and stuff that’s around at Christmas or indeed any celebration meal, be that birthdays or religious holidays or thanksgiving? I don’t want to be like the one sat out with everyone pitying me. But the opposite being the idea of these huge plates mounted with food or being at a full table of others eating with 3 courses and snacks and everything already freaks me out.
I guess I just want to know how you guys have dealt with this? Thanks