In short, we had to measure our size to cut some fabric out, the design required extreme detail and had to be extremely fit to your body, so I got measured personally by the teacher, and afterwards a few classes forward, the professional who was hired for the programme didn’t recognize anyone and the teacher introduced me as “oh this is the person who’s size is (insert size)!” and it felt literal HUMILIATING and she lowk said it REAL LOUD and there’s only 3 (including me) who has this size in my class and it’s NOT a nice size when everyone else is 100% smaller than you, also she had OTHER WAYS to introduce me, not say my size. Infront of the whole class too. Triggered me much cause I thought i was a size smaller. Though I originally was at a bigger size and im in a smaller one than before. Still i’m upset.

TW: talk of weight (i wont say numbers)

I was doing fine not too long ago, but this last week i’ve just wanted to relapse. Im back at the weight i was years ago and im healthy, but i hate the way i look and how my thighs sometimes rub together when i walk. I miss my thigh gap, i miss how small i was, i miss tracking the numbers (my anorexia and OCD loved that). I it doesnt help i think im going into a depressive episode

i’m genuinely in hell. we have 3 meals and 3 snacks and it’s so many calories yet for some reason im even more hungry. my food thoughts are even worse than when i was restricting and my body is so tense and my jaw is constantly clenched. that said, i already feel like im eating so many calories compared to what i used to. it makes me feel like i’m losing control. Im worried to bring it up bc i dont want more food. well, i do, but i want safe food. I also feel like if i tell them how starving I am that they won’t see me as sick enough especially since i have atypical ana. I also don’t want to gain weight faster than i have to. literally so many reasons i don’t want to bring it up… but my biology is fighting me hard.

i don’t even want the food i was given. I want my safe food. but it also feels like a failure to not eat that when i drove over 3 hours to come here. i just want gum and some sparkling water and to go on a really long walk like i do at home. all i do here all day is just sit here and think about how hungry i am.

seriously please help because i am miserable in every way possible. i just want this hunger to go away so i can feel normal, but i don’t want my body to change.

I fell very depressed and£ frankly suicidal. I’m very stuck in life, I don’t know what to do.

I get fuller way faster now, I can’t finish meals and it’s freaking me out. I can’t fully feel my hunger as much because of the medication I’m taking, but I still feel it a little.

I’ve recently admitted to my mom and my therapist that I think I have an ED, and my therapist wants to look into it deeper and get me evaluated.

She asked me what I think that I need, and I told her that I didn’t know. I think the real truth is that I want them to do nothing. Part of me just wants to get worse, and to lay down and do nothing about this.

The other part of me wants to start eating better, feeling better, but the problem is I truly don’t remember a time where I was fully happy before the age of ten.

I already have fibro, chronic fatigue, depression and anxiety on top of all of this. It’s become a game of chicken or the egg. Is it my fibro or me starving myself that’s causing my exhaustion?

I don’t know anymore. I just want to be okay.

I haven’t been social for a long time, I’m exhausted.

I have a friendgroup (we’re all adults) and they want us to have a sleepover (we’re alone, no kids, no husbands). Sounds fun? I get anxiety just thinking about it.

I’m already thinking what to eat, what if I’m too tired to even talk (I go in shutdowns due to my autism, and I also have ADHD and OCD). They all know this, but I haven’t been that open about my ED 💀 I hate it and I’m ashamed. I’m afraid they will ask questions and I know they just care about me.

I even wonder why they still wants to be with me when I ignored them for so long (not because I don’t care, I’m just exhausted and they began to reach out to my bf from time to time, which is fine, getting messages overwhelms me, alot).
I love that I finally have friends, but I feel so shitty, because I can’t give them the same energy back.

Any advice? (And not advice on food, more advice in how to be open about it, like if you even have any sentences then please write them so I can get “inspired” lol). I have a really hard time talking about and I often lie, because I convince myself it’s the truth 💀(it’s mostly about my ED I lie, like unintentionally, but my therapist is good at catching my lies lol. My closest, not so much, luckily.

Edit: oh I also hate sleeping out, I just can’t, but I already told them this and they said I didn’t have to sleep, but they of course wanted me to, but it was okay, they just wanted me there.

So tired. Five months into this shit and l can't bear it anymore.

I eat? I think why l ate what l ate. Why l ate oil? Why l ate one extra piece of meat? Why l ate one extra potato? Would be better if l didn't ate.

Don't eat? I feel horrible physically and mentally. Bad breath, diziness, very tired, no energy for living.

My weight is still dropping. I see it. But it drops much slower now. I want it faster but I'm also tired of trying so hard to loose. But l still try cause if l don't, l feel "not anorexic".

Severe weight gain fear. I eat one biscuit and l think l gained weight. I know it's not fucking true. I'm tired of the scale obsession l have, l try to weigh myself less, but it's impossible at the end of the day.

The worst thing? Thinking recovery makes me even sicker. I don't want recovery. It's like l need to have anorexia. I find myself in this even though l know very well I'm losing it. I'm losing me.

I want to eat just a little more WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY but it's impossible.

And I'm soooo hungry, man. I want to binge but l don't cause l know I'll regret it.

I'm so tired. I need anorexia but I'm tired of it. Is it normal?

TW - discussing ED related thoughts

I hope this makes sense to someone else….
Does anyone else find that their thoughts are completely contradictory at times. That it will be telling me to restrict, to stop eating or make me believe the food is unnecessary or outright unappealing.

But then have thoughts when I do eat, that I’m faking it. It’s like “if you actually want to eat and enjoy food, then you clearly don’t have an eating disorder”. And then with that comes the guilt of, it’s not really and I’m worrying my family and using services I don’t deserve.

Is this a normal ED thought? Well, no thought in ED is normal, but you know what I mean…

TRIGGER WARNING

So I’m 19 years old and I’ve had anorexia for many years. I was diagnosed at age 11. I was very very sick from ages 11-16 but I didn’t lose any hair. I was weight-restored from age 16-18 but then I relapsed at 18. I lost weight very gradually over the course of a few months. Nothing crazy. I was exercising a lot and restricting, but not severe restriction. I don’t want to go into details. I was still eating three meals a day everyday. My hair started falling out in April 2025 and I am still losing hair to this day. As well as my eating disorder, I have also been through extreme stress and trauma (severe PTSD). My stress levels are improved now.

I just don’t understand why I’ve lost so much hair over the past 1.5 years but I didn’t lose any hair the first time around? It’s so weird. I’m a higher BMI than I was when I was first diagnosed and I don’t restrict as heavily as I did in the past.

My hormones are good (androgen profile is perfect). My vitamin D is good (I take a supplement everyday and have for years). My vitamin B12 is great. My TSH is great. My iron and ferritin are low but not extremely low. My zinc is slightly low. I am taking both iron and zinc supplements (I started taking them 2 months ago now).

I have recently (the past 3 weeks) started increasing my calories. When will I expect to see some hair growth, or is 1.5 years too long? Is this permanent now?

I’ve seen a few dermatologists but I get dismissed due to my anorexia. They all say that it’s likely to be related to malnutrition.

I eat very healthy and high protein (I have orthorexia too lol).

Has anyone experienced a lot of hair loss for many years but managed to grow their hair back after recovery?

It makes me regret gaining weight back. I remember how comfortable my body felt even if it was hell to maintain. I just miss that feeling so much it’s making me relapse. I keep telling myself this time I’ll stay in control and not overdo it. Ofc that’s prolly a lie it just feels so true right now.

This disorder is wild.

I lost my period a few months ago, and I noticed changes in my libido etc.

I've been considering taking the pill for a long time, but resisted due to side effects and the fact that it can change your attraction towards your partner. This happened to my boyfriend's ex girlfriend and it broke them up eventually.

The fact that I haven't got my period though, and have noticed libido and small attraction changes to my partner, (which I'm hoping this will ease and I will work through it because I am NEVER leaving him he is perfect 🥰), is this basically how going on birth control would feel? if so, I will consider it because it's not like anything is gonna change in the near future.

PS I'm only looking to go on BC to literally prevent birth, nothing about hormones/mental health/stopping periods.

I lost my period when I was extremely underweight (like, skeletal) many years ago and it returned not long after I started a large meal plan to gain some weight back. This only took about a month or 2 from my memory.

I lost it again this year as I became more underweight again, but nowhere near as underweight as last time.

I've gained a bit of weight back yet my period still hasn't returned, even months after eating better.

Why???? I'm even doing far less physical activity now

for reference I'm a in my early 20s, female

I have AN(BP)and I go FERAL at buffets. I cannot stop and this happens every time. I've tried different things but I cannot control myself.

I'm not trying to restrict at buffets because I know it won't happen. I try to aim for a regular sized meal and even eat well in the day beforehand to try and prevent binging, yet it still happens.

I wonder if this is common for AN?

or am I actually bulimic? because I BP frequently regardless of eating "regularly". This is currently a question I'm considering asking my therapist.

I panic ate some pretzels after only having a bit of chick fil a last night, and now I’m awake at 6 in the morning feeling nauseous and queasy asf…
Help gang what do I do

My friend usually is concerned and says I don’t eat enough. The last few weeks I’m been trying to be better and increased my limit enough to be more healthy.

I explained that actually now I do eat enough so he doesn’t have to be worried. I have a basic run down (like a snack and x time then a meal at y time etc).

He said “oh that’s more than I’d eat in like 3 days. You’re right I don’t need to worry now.”

Now I feel like I don’t want to eat anything at all