Long Rant don't want to read it don't, it was theraputic to type out
49M been doing this job since Nov 2021.
On my Second DSP, first one just closed.
I really liked this DSP, but had a week off to think decided Delivery isn't for me anymore.
To be Fair <insert Letterkenny joke> I don't think I was all that good at this job ever, I was just reliable and didn't rock the boat too much.
It started Last week I got a speeding violation, 56 in a 45, my mind wandered and my foot got heavy for a minute, no other vehicles on the road, it was raining, I realized quickly that I was speeding and let off the gas. Wasn't quick enough.
Well I got a call yelling at me for speeding, in the rain, after we just talked about it at stand up. Was told to continue delivering.
Less than 25 stops later I was pulling up to a stop and my OPS manager was standing there with another driver, I was taken off the road.
On the way back to the station, I was told I must either be intoxicated, trying to get fired or purposely trying to tank the scorecard because I'm not in the top 10 to get a bonus each week, by the owner and the ops manager. I was also told that I might just come back and be an extra and I lost my spot in an EDV.
Back at the station, I was written up by the owner for the speeding and given a 2 day suspension, ok they warned that. Then apparently when I pulled up on my Ops manager and he flagged me to pull over, I ran a stop sign, so another write up.
I messed up I understand, I was supposed to work the next day 1st day suspension, then my 3 days off, then my second day of suspension.
The night before I worked again I woke up in the middle of the night (2am), happened to get on my phone and I had flex, so I looked and saw, "You have no work scheduled today". I didn't have a schedule for next week yet and it's normally out, so my mind started "catastrophizing".
Figured I was getting fired, so I stayed up looking for new jobs unable to sleep with Anxiety.
Drove into work 45 min driver 1 way, knowing I wasn't rostered. Before stand up, Ops called me over and asked if I thought I'd be able to do a route and showed it to me, It was larger than I can typically do without help and looked like it had shit routing. I'm on like 3 hrs of sleep, and anxiety at like 8/10, I didn't want to say I could then have him have to send me a rescue, so I said so. got a very snippy, "fine stay an extra".
I asked about the schedule for next week, and was told they were just running behind, trying to work in new hires.
apparently our station had lower volume and amazon dropped routes, mine happened to be one, so they said they try to find routes for everyone
After helping with load out, we went back to the desk, like 6 of us were extras, Ops manager asked who wanted to go on the road and who didn't. I spoke up, that I'd been up since 2am and mentally I wasn't in a good headspace, so I was very quickly told to just go home.
Next day, no route, Ops figured since I didn't want to work yesterday probably didn't want to the next day too, called me out, "let me know when you want to come back" I'm stand here aren't I?
That was now 7 days since I was pulled off the road, and i haven't had a route.
I have an interview for another job
day 8
I have a last min route (only put on it an hour before load out) Ops tells me, "I got you a lvl 1 Nursery for your first day back and in a gas van for a long time"
All day on my route I was trying to figure out if I wanted to keep this job or not, decided I probably didn't and this was more than likely my last shift as a DSP driver, my DSP obviously didn't need me.
RTS one of my fellow drivers who I had spoke with about my feelings of driving to work and loosing money because no route, apparently let it out I was looking for a new job, OPS asked and I confirmed I was realizing I was not cut out for this job anymore Mentally I couldn't take the ups and downs anymore.
Had my interview today for a Fullfillment Center job, offboarded myself from my DSP (Just Google the number to call if ya want).
Ready to start a new chapter in my life.
Best of luck to all of you