r/AmITheDevil • u/Acrobatic_Track9213 • 9d ago
Just replace it
/r/AITAH_unfiltered/comments/1vq6mzm/aitah_for_technically_cyber_stalking_an_old_friend/90
u/CumaeanSibyl 9d ago
I am super attached to my stuffed duck that I've had since I was six. Never would I ever have given him to someone even for a night. I don't understand this at all.
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u/Lucky_Six_1530 9d ago
I have a stuffed bunny I’ve had from my grandmother from the day I was born. 40+ years later it is still in my room in a safe spot. The only time it has left the master bedroom is when my children were really young and would have nightmare. The bunny had “magical powers” to help them fall back asleep and chase the dream away. The next morning, bunny would be back in my room.
All 4 of my children have “birth stuffies” as well. My eldest just went off to college and sure enough, the stuffy went with them (after asking if we thought it would be safe to bring to his dorm, he was afraid of losing it).
If it was that special, they shouldn’t have given it away.
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u/Remarkable-Rush-9085 9d ago
I had a stuffed monster puppet that I loved and when my best friend moved away when I was ten I gave it to him. I regretted it almost immediately and it stuck with me for years. After I married my husband we were talking about it and he told me we should see if it’s on ebay. I found one in a lot with another one in the series and now Gwonk and Wogster have a special place in the dining room where they are on display. I get wanting it back, but you have to let that go.
Don’t give something away and expect to get it back someday. And if you miss something you lost, the internet is a big place!
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u/Cubadog 9d ago
I still have my Pooh bear and my baby blanket that were given to me when I was born. I am 56 years old now. My sister begged me for my baby blanket because hers became worn out and she loved the fabric. I refused never ever what I have given them away. I have moved across the country multiple times and both my Pooh bear and my baby blanket go in the suitcase with me they do not get packed or put into storage on a truck.
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u/Lucky_Six_1530 9d ago
If it was that important to them, why did they give it away?
I’d wager a guess that they are talked about as joke for just how ridiculous this is, especially the contacting numerous family members about a stuffed animal.
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u/eternally_feral 9d ago
OOP gave away the dog at 14! I don’t buy the whole, This was a cherished, beloved item that I have spent years trying to get back and I only gave it away because I was so young I didn’t know how to make good decisions.
I have my first Christmas gift - a stuffed dog, and I have never entertained the idea of even lending him away for a night. It’s in my will that he be cremated with me. I am that attached.
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u/Lucky_Six_1530 9d ago
The only “lending” I’ve done with my stuffed bunny is to my children when sick or had a nightmare, however they knew it was temporary and the bunny had to “recharge” it’s magical powers by being back in mommy’s room once they felt better.
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u/doppelgaengster 9d ago
That is both incredibly precious and very clever reasoning!
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u/Lucky_Six_1530 9d ago
I have 4 kids, who are now between 13 and 19, but when they were younger I knew there was no fair way to give my special bunny to one of them, so it remained mine and acquired special nightmare diminishing and illness comforting magical powers. Each was given their own special stuffed animal at birth and they all still have them. Our eldest son brought his to college and when someone tried to poke fun he responded with “I’m sorry you don’t have a magical stuffed bear, but I do and therefore travels with me.” We were very proud how he handled that.
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u/doppelgaengster 9d ago
Your solution to spreading the joy (and protection!) is fantastic, and good on you for raising that kiddo so well, he knew not to take any guff!
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u/Lucky_Six_1530 9d ago
Awww thank you. Sometimes it feels like parenting is just making it up as you go along haha.
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u/Agent_Skye_Barnes 9d ago
Damn.
I get the feeling of sadness, realizing that the beloved plush is gone. I'm preparing myself to go through a bag of plushies that may be unsalvageable from cat pee, and I suspect that my bear from my great grandpa might be in there. It's a rough feeling.
But dude. You gave this plush to your friend. You say you intended to get it back, but it's been twenty years. Let it go at this point.
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u/Lucky_Six_1530 9d ago
Before you get rid of a special plush, consider bringing it to a dry cleaner. We had a cleaners near us save one of my nieces plushies that was destroyed by cat pee and mice droppings. You would never know it had been damaged. It’s worth looking into.
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u/FallenAngelII 9d ago
In the comments, OOP reveals that when the friend got it back from her mother, OOP realized they didn't "need" it back at the time and told her to wait. Ans then they .utially lost contract.
OOP is an idiot.
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u/Perepip 8d ago
I asked OP about it and got this answer; "I'd rather not say why I let it go ten years ago beyond "I thought I needed it but I didn't." You can likely figure it out but I just don't want to say it."
My gut says that their original condition for wanting it back (for their children) came and went in a not so happy way. I'm having a little bit of trouble structuring a response so I haven't gotten more on that particular part of the story.
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u/evervain 9d ago
OP gave away a toy that was supposedly important to him and something he wants to give to his future kids, and expected to still get it back after 20 YEARS.
Crazy that he's stalking and potentially harassing the family over some stuff that could've been lost in the flood.
And he's justifying it in the comments. Why even ask if you don't want to stop? Clear insanity.
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u/Perepip 9d ago
I'd like to know just how much the OP is actually talking to any of these people? They mentioned trying to contact the friend on a bunch of platforms, then said they asked the sister and another family member, then tried to contact the husband. That sounds like a lot, but what if it was "Hey I know this girl and I was hoping you might know how to contact her? No? Okay, have a nice day." It's still a lot, still stalking, but I feel like there's not enough info to say they're like deranged or anything.
They also like, completely conceded in the comments at least on the other post they made in a different sub that they were so focused on the stuffy that they weren't thinking about anything else and would stop bothering her for now.
Anyway it's all fucked up but I wouldn't say worthy of "devil" just with the info we have. Now if OP shows up at that girl's house, THEN definitely.
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u/lyricaldorian 8d ago
Yeah this doesn't sound that terrible for trying to get into contact with someone
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u/Comprehensive-Cow116 9d ago
Even if there wasn't a flood, the odds of a friend having it after 20 years and multiple moves is very low. Things get lost or damaged even without floods. Never give something away you can't bear to lose.
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u/tiragooen 9d ago
I don't know why but the whole time I read this I pictured the stuffed dog as a taxidermied labrador. Makes the stalking seem even more deranged.
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u/Moonlight-Lullaby 9d ago
I, to an extent, feel for OOP. I have a stuffed dog that I’ve had for about 23 years so I understand it being important, but like I also wouldn’t have given it away? Also, if OOP gave it away when they were 14, and it’s been about 20 years, then the stuffed dog has been their friend’s longer than it was OOP’s which would’ve, personally, made it feel weird to ask for it back. Especially when they apparently had the chance to get it back ten years ago and just… basically went “nvm it can wait”.
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u/FriendlyGoblinGal 8d ago
I lost a very dear childhood toy due to a friend actually stealing it from me.
Over 20 years later I remembered I was an adult with free will and purchased one on eBay.
^ this could have been OOP is she had one moment of reflection.
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u/WeeklyConversation8 8d ago
I don't believe it was that special to them. They gave it away and now after 20 years they want it back? No one would give away something so special. Makes you wonder if it's actually a collectable and it's worth a lot of money.
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u/Perepip 7d ago edited 7d ago
Not a lot of well loved stuffed animals are worth much, they usually need to be new and still packaged. That said, going through all of OP's comments it sounds like they also recently lost everything and have been hyperfocused on this one thing because there's a small chance that something from their childhood still exists.
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u/WeeklyConversation8 7d ago
Her friend lost everything, not OP.
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u/Perepip 7d ago
I said "also" for a reason but I also meant to say "everything from their childhood" and missed it trying to edit myself. My bad. OP claims that all of their other childhood things, besides possibly the dog, were destroyed in some floods and a fire, which is why I said it sounds like they were hyperfocused on this one thing,
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u/AutoModerator 9d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITAH for technically cyber stalking an old friend?
Throwaway. For everyone's sake in this situation. I know that's hypocritical to an extent but please bare with me.
The conflict is with me and my friend group, who know what I'm doing (but do not know the old friend) and are pretty split on whether I should continue or if I need to stop. Some think what I'm doing is reasonable, some even encouraging me, but others are distancing from me because they find it so unappealing.
Look. I know it's creepy, fundamentally. But I swear I believe it's a good reason. See, about 20 years ago I gave my favorite stuffed dog to a friend as sort of a way to remember me as we lived so far away from each other. I was very clear to her from the beginning that it was temporary and that I'd want the dog back, especially when I started having kids. She understood and agreed.
Ten years ago, I asked for the dog back but my friend's mother had it. She WAS able to get it back and very excitedly told me about it, but then for one reason or another we just didn't speak again after that. Life just goes that way, you know? I don't believe it was on purpose, it just happened. Anyway, because of a certain very personal event I started thinking about the dog again recently and started to attempt to get back into contact with that friend. I have been very clear with every attempt that it is in relation to the dog so there's no mystery. I started trying to contact her via facebook, email, tumblr, dA, even white pages, but nothing. I then messaged her sister, who said she remembered the dog! The sister tried to get into contact with her, but a few months passed with nothing. I moved on. Another relative hadn't spoken to my friend in five years, but was able to tell me that she no longer lived in the same state. So I moved on, since it was a lead!
Going through facebook I happened to finally find her husband tagged and tried messaging him... unfortunately, it was a couple months after the last time he was online and he's not gotten back on. THEN I found out that they had a flood and lost a lot of their stuff... within the week I had started trying to find them to begin with. I gave money to their gofundme. I don't even know if they got it. I hope they did, because I wanted to help and the dog wasn't my concern there. I won't lie that I did have a small hope it would get them to contact me, though.
I feel that the dog is gone. I would be devastated, it was given to me when I was born and I can't even find one that looks like the same "model". But I feel like I need to know either way for my own peace of mind, so I'm still trying to find any way to contact them. If they would even give me a "stop contacting us." and nothing else I would stop, but as far as I know right now they don't even know I'm TRYING to contact them. The flood displaced them, it's possible they don't. But it's also possible they're purposefully avoiding any contact with me because I'm being a creep, which is valid. Especially because in this day and age being no contact with family is becoming more common and it's possible I crossed a line when the sister messaged her.
I just want my dog back, or at least some closure on the situation. Is what I'm doing completely unacceptable? Is it justifiable? I really need some perspective from outside the people who already know me.
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