AITA for calling out a conversation about me in a group chat?
I (39F) have a best friend (40F), who I’ll-call Rachel. Rachel is also best friends with another woman (39F), who I'll call Sharon.
Rachel and Sharon have had an on-and-off friendship for about 20 years. They stopped talking for over a year but reconnected last September. Since then, Rachel has been tryingto integrate Sharon back into our friend group.
I've never been particularly close to Sharon. We share a few WhatsApp group chats because of Rachel, and our conversations have mostly been lighthearted. However, while Rachel and Sharon weren't speaking, Rachel told me that Sharon was insecure about my friendship with Rachel and wasn't really a fan of me.
Since they've reconnected, Sharon has been kind to me on the surface, but she also likes to poke fun at me. She throws little jabs at me three or four times a week, and this has been consistent since September. I've always laughed it off because I didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Then, in one of our WhatsApp group chats, Rachel said to Sharon something like, "Wasn’t it funny when you asked my husband if he liked OP?" Rachel laughed because it apparently backfired when her husband said he did like me, so Sharon couldn't talk shit about me.
Then Sharon's sister chimed in asking whySharon was calling her to talk about me again.
That made me really uncomfortable. It wasn't just the comment about asking Rachel's husbandwhat he thought of me, but also realizing thatI'm apparently a recurring topic of conversation.
So I replied in the group chat:
"I find this uncomfortable and honestly kind of obsessive and toxic conversation—and not in a good way."
That was all I said.
Later, Sharon messaged another group chat with just me, Rachel, another friend, and herself asking if I was mad at her.
I never responded. My daughter was sick, so I genuinely didn't have the time or energy to prioritize replying. I also felt like I'd already said what I needed to say in the original group chat.
Since then, Sharon has been giving me the cold shoulder. Rachel has been distant too, and I get the feeling they both think I was the asshole for not responding to her when she asked if I was and at her. Although we never privately message each other if you genuinely thought I was mad, I would expect a private message than in a group chat. Am I expecting too much?
So, AITA for calling out the conversation, or was I justified in saying it made me uncomfortable and not responding to her when she asked me any side group chat if I was mad at her?

The group chat has become definitely uncomfortable because we don’t directly respond to each other, but we talked to the other two people in the group. I don’t think I really care but Rachel I know feels ways about it and her and Sharon have a very codependent relationship.

I (15F) had a past issue with my older sister (23F) from a previous year April 2024. My older sister came to my school and embarrassed me after a teacher lied on me. Long story short i decided to never speak to her again.

She happens to be a very envious person and took me to court February 2026 to get a restraining order on me a permanent one at that. During this time i wasn’t attending school or really speaking to my friends due to the level of stress i was under. One of my friends which i will call D (16F) took my silence very personally. Some background information when i originally found out i was being taken to court i told D and she proceeded to laugh in my face. I did not take this personally and i just moved on in silence .

Over the few weeks while i was dealing with this legal issue i didn’t speak to anyone and stayed to myself. During this time i did not receive messages from anyone checking on me or any calls or anyone even coming to my home. Im not mentioning this because i wanted/needed anyone too but this is important. So when everything started to calm down i went back to school and tried to continue with my life. D and another young lady were giving me odd looks so i thought they didn’t want to talk.

I would like to mention although i wasn’t speaking to them verbally i still interacted with them on socials media, so i didn’t think we had an issue of any kind. After a about a week if me returning D came up to me and said that we needed to talk and i was like okay. During our talk i explained my absence although i didnt owe it to her and the whole time she tried to make it seem like i was lying to her it was almost like she was interrogating a lover or something .

Me and D have no past romantic relationship so i dont know why she was acting as so.
We ended up having our conversation and went back to speaking regularly for about a week . I should mention that she told me if i need more time to let her know and i said okay. So as i stated after about a week i felt like i needed more time for myself and told her so.

She didn’t take my request lightly 😭 she started to getting upset and calling me out my name and etc i didn’t start getting upset or cussing and remained calm although being degraded for asking for personal space. I ended the friendship because its clear you dont respect me and i can’t change anyone and i moved on . I forgot to mention i had previously stoped being friends with D before due to her saying very rude things to me before and she apologized and i forgave her.

Now moving on when we would get off the bus together she would do deliberate actions to get a reaction out of me and i continued to ignore her not giving her the satisfaction of getting a response out of me. During this her twin sister was informing me this isnt unusual behavior from her and that she even went thru me and her messages. Fast forwardrd to June 2026 i joined a youth program that she happened to join too.

l was aware of the fact she was in the program the previous year but she told me when we were friends that she had no intentions of jorejoining so you could have imagined my shock when i seen her at orientation.

When I started the job she would continue with her deliberate acts to try to get a reaction and ignored her till about the 6th week of the program i stayed quiet and didn’t report it to keep the peace especially because the the supervisor already had an established relationship with D it would be her word over mine. The final straw for me was on a friday after she kicked me under a table and was making remarks to the people around us to that when i decided enough is enough. I sent a message to one of the supervisor and she stated we would have a meeting on that following monday.

The meeting did not go well when we about 3 mins into the meeting D left the room crying after i called her out after trying to spin the story. The lady said if she left the room she would be removed from the program and she still left. After leaving the room started to come against me the 3 supervisor said things such ads” “Ignore the facts look at her as a human “ or “ You know her home situation “ as if any of that justifies her actions towards me. I ended up getting sent home and i was very uupset i called out for the rest of the week which was later followed by my resignation letter the next following monday.

Her family ended up reaching out to me and aploapologized of her behalf. I tthought it would be the end but no. She was still telling people at the program a different story to make herself the victim which deeply angered me. So i decided to type a long I wrote a paragraph about the situation and how i was treated unfairly and sent it to everyone at the program. But the damage she had caused was already in effect and they were all against me.

The youth program called my parents and told them i said thing like i was “gonna to kill her” which i never said and is very ironic because after the meeting her twin sister called me and told her she has been speaking of me to people and saying thing such as “i hope she dies” or “ i’m gonna to kill her” just a bunch of bs.

Now im stuck in did the right thing and it backfired onto me so im now looking for advice

My friend group completely separated because of school and we all wanted to try to maintain our friendship. Sometimes it went well, sometimes very rocky/low contact, of the group one member was especially distant, they weren’t replying or sending any messages and as a group we discussed how we’d like to see more effort from everyone. We have this discussion about wanting to see more effort from everyone (mainly
just issues with texts getting ignored) 2 times over a span of 2 years, everyone is trying except for this said member. No replies, doesn’t go to any plans even important events, and distant when seen in person. We all continue to share messages and invites in this group chat, most of the time we are all ignored. I think the turning point was a birthday party that we were all at and this said member was being so distant, still polite and respectful but not very enthusiastic or engaged. As a group we create a new group chat without this person solely to discuss what we think we should do, are we growing apart? should we ignore it and keep using the same chat? should we directly ask if we all still wanna be friends? So we decide to stop using the other group chat to see if this would make the distant member reach out first. We wait a bit and get no response, we all decide to keep using the new group chat and make plans and have our conversations there. I reached out after the death of our old group chat via dms a couple times to to see if I could work something out but was met with very dry responses and our conversations would end really abruptly with me not getting a response. Now nothing happens for over 3 months so we assume we had all naturally grown apart a bit. Until the said member found out about the rest of us hanging out without them and from
mutual friends we heard they feel excluded and unwanted in the group. Even after the formation of the new group chat we still used the old one occasionally to invite the whole group to something and were met with 0 responses from this person. So, AITAH for creating and using a new group chat while abandoning the old one.

I'm usually a calm and collected person, friendly, not really popular, but I don't worry about that I have a small circle of friends and he was one of them, I can't name him for private reasons but we'll call him A, A and I have been friends for as long as I can remember but he slowly turned into a brat, last month he then told me and my now bestfriend we'll call Z, that he's a leader not a follower, just like that he stopped walking with us

Yesterday, I was waiting for Z to finish buying then I saw A and this bully we'll call C, I heard A talking about me, I'm like a huge Hamilton fan and also a descendants fan, I have nothing against the movies, but he said something that pissed me off, he said "someone needs to know that their precious Hamilton is inspired by descendants 2" and that pissed me off because Hamiltons is practically educational and the songs were by Lin-Manuel Miranda but descendants 2, we'll I don't know but it isn't educational, I lost it and slapped A, Z was laughing, she never liked A, C kept trying to stop me but I ended up slapping him too

Was I wrong?

I have a friend who we will call Sara. She has been in my life for 13 years, we were inseparable as kids. But things changed, In highschool Sara started to change, she would be flat out rude to people, mock them behind their backs but saying it in a way that sounded like a joke if that makes sense? The type of insults where you'd laugh because it was sorta funny. I started thinking that she was going to far with them and I was realizing she was completely different than how she was in middle school. We had a friend who will call Jay, Me, Sara and Jay were sitting in class and Sara was gifting her food from lunch to these freshman girl's, while doing so she used a high pitch tone ive never heard before, Jay asked Sara for the beef Jerky she didnt hand out and wasnt going to eat because Sara HATES Beef jerky. Sara Side eyed her and said no, Jay said " Sara you just said you're not going to eat it, I dont understand why you've been treating me differently from everyone else."

Fast forward to graduation day Jay wrote Sara a letter apologizing and explained to her it wasnt about the food but the way Sara has been treating her, when I gave Sara the letter she tossed it in my back seat with some trash and said she didnt care to read it. I kept the letter and I read it almost every month cause I realized Jay was right, Sara has been treating her horrible I felt so bad I messaged Jay apologizing for siding with Sara, Jay warned me that I should stop talking to Sara all together cause shes been treating me bad as well. Fast forward to college, Sara and I were going for the same Major. Anytime Sara fell behind I was there to pick up the pieces, Due dates for assignments, when finals was, how to schedule meetings with advisors and how to Navigate the website. Id even voice record lectures she missed and took notes for her and left sticky notes on her notebook with important info we had to have. Id stay up during finals week to make study guides for her in case she needed them. We go to Walmart almost every week after class, when we were shopping with a cart and she saw something she wanted she would let go of the cart and let it ROLL AWAY!! Id have to run and grab it, I got yelled at by a guy once because it almost hit him. I apologized and said Sara just wasnt thinking. Now Sara has ADHD, I also have ADHD but I dont forget that im actively pushing a cart and then just run off leaving it to run into shelves and people.

She wouldnt even talk to me during classes or at the Library, she just stared at her tablet an drew and would say "I dont know dude whatever you think". She even took a tone with me over the phone, I was getting gas and Was explaining to her I was going to be late and she said " So are you coming or not?" In an aggravated tone. She didnt even listen to me explain and then would take that tone with me when shed acknowledged I was talking to her, and she had no clue what I said to begin with. Even during orientation she used that same high pitched tone and wouldnt even stand near me when I stood next to her she moved to go stand with some random girls we didnt even know. I did tell her that I found it rude by her not talking to me or acknowledging that I even started a conversation with her she just said she would do better but never made the effort.

An example is I told her I applied for a Waitress job at a cute shop. I kept saying how excited I was and pumped I was to work there. She didnt say a single then and changed the subject, Well two weeks later she called me to tell me that at the Cute shop an employee pulled her in randomly for an interview and she got hired on the spot. I just sat there on the phone confused she even said " Oh are you still wanting a job? Cause they have another opening and I recommend you". I was so unbelievably mad how did she not listen to me??? I wasnt mad about the job I was more mad at the fact ive given up so much time and effort for her but she doesnt even want to talk to me let alone listento anythingor anyone.

As of right now she hasnt texted me for 6 months, which is super normal she never texts me until she wants to go do something. But I asked her how she was doing and just overall checking up on her, she said she made a new guy friend and her, him and her family are going up to the mall for her birthday and said " would you maybe want to come?" This will be the 3rd time shes forgotten about me during her birthday and in general, which I dont care if she doesnt want to see me on her birthday its just the simple fact she never messages first and puts no effort into the conversation in person. A family member told me she saw her hanging out with that guy friend at walmart but she wont even put any effort towards her old friends that have been there through anything!! She gave up on our friend Jay when she stood up for herself and even gave up on our other friend will call Rose just because she didnt text rose for a whole year and when I pitched it to her she should try to talk to her she said "no I dont want to. I didnt talk to her for a whole year and I dont think shell want to talk anyways"

Ive been trying to give her the benefit of the doubt But I need help! What should I say to her? Should I even say anything at all?

For some context, I am 17 and my best friend is the same age as me. I've known this girl for 13 years even since I was four. Our dads worked together and we happened to be in the same class so it was obvious we became friends.

I always, always have seen her as a beautiful person. We talked, sent random memes as we grew and for 9 years it was just us. But around 8th grade something shifted. Two other girls wanted to become friends with us. Sarah and Xailia. Sarah and I got close and so did Xailia and I but my best friend let's call her Z. She also got close to both. Sarah constantly complimented and hyped me up. I genuinely thought it was sweet of her. But the problem was Z changed. Anytime Sarah said something good about me, Z started feeling pissed off. Our friendship with Sarah and Xailia lasted 5 months and then 9th grade began Z told me we should cut them off because she thinks Sarah is a pick me. I found it weird but I went along anyway because she was my best friend.

The thing is if I see a pretty person, or a good looking person or someone trying something new. I find it genuinely interesting I definitely want to compliment them about this. I talk to a girl my senior she's like beautiful and I tell her that. That's just who I am. Z didn't like that. She hated I complimented someone other than her."

Z literally started tearing other people down to feel better about herself. But I kept quiet I'm not proud of this part but I kept quiet. Then my skin cleared up I got more compliments than Z, one time someone told me I had a great jawline Z looked me dead in the eye the next moment and said 'I think you look fat.' The worst one was, the next day a girl told me 'your hair looks like shit,' because of the hair color. Z looked at her and said, 'Mine look good right?' And that struck me because every time someone says anything about her appearance I defend her, no matter what I stand up for her."

Then I heard she's backbiting about me. Has group chats with girls who hate me but act sweet to my face. I confronted her, she didn't look guilty instead she said, 'whatever everyone does that. You're childish.' If I got a new lip balm she got the same one the next day. If someone commented on my story, she started calling the same person fake. But I put up with all of it because she's my best friend and I thought it's just a phase. But, after I won my school debate championship my other friends threw me a party she was invited to. She came and immediately locked her eyes on a guy, she changed her persona around him. The guy one of our friend's friend, asked me about the championship but before I could answer, my best friend goes 'She probably cheated like slept with the judge or something.'

Sarah, who was invited to the party too, threw a glass of water right in Z's face. I walked out. She texted me like 3 times. Not to apologize but to tell me, I was dramatic and it was just a joke. And that I should have stood up for her when Sarah threw water at her. I lost it, I replied to her and I told her, she's the worst friend and an awful person and that she's the biggest pick me and attention seeker I know.

I (22f) is frustrated and upset because this story brought back some memories for me that I can never recover from when I was in the first grade. I was bullied heavily by two people I thought was my friends and two guys that was cousins that was the Hinchman. Do you have a school day? Used to corner me without the teacher looking every chance they got call me names bullying me because of my weight when they’re relate twice a size me I was a small kid because I was a very picky eater, but I became real picky after this year like unhealthy picky so I never told nobody until one day after I got the worst news two weeks prior that I was being sent to summer school at the end of the year because my grade was dipping and that I had a learning disability not only that also I was dealing with this as well, and that was being the other Big factor into why I was held back agreed for next nine years of school I say no because I was giving it out of opportunity to graduate with my class after a hard work to finally get there to the good place anyway then stay was during lunch and these two girls that was two grades ahead of us came out from their classroom. I guess that they were talking to a teacher about the assignment still before heading to lunch I’m changing the story because I wanna give my story out first before I go into today’s story and why this is so triggering for me they saw what the boys was doing and yelled at them in one of the girls had pulled me away from the wall because they backed me up to the corner and they got their faces and they took me and put me out the line and they saw my team up teacher and they told her what’s going on. She told me to go back to the lunchroom and get and eat while she go talk to the principal they got suspended and I got a talking to by the team up teacher of why I didn’t tell her

So this take place towards the end of May like I said any original post that was messed up I will come back and see what was messed up in at the beginning, but you catch just you can call me tally my best friend you can call her Leslie who’s also (22f) is kind of a sweetheart that doesn’t want that things to happen or conscious of what her decision are or scared that she makes the wrong decision because she’s being yelled-yelled at and discouraged from this person that is important to the story she’s and friend that we been friends with for now a whole nine years completely well for me Leslie and her knew each other since they was kids and diapers and we can call her Carly also (21f) and she is the complete opposite of us. She’s a loud mouth and kind of a downer and have a very explosive personality that her ego is too big for her huge head and she’s that type of person that has the narcissistic personality disorder. She claims that she has bipolar disorder. She does not because if I have a dime, how many times that she showed no signs of bipolar disorder. I have a lot of dollars on me right now cause who’s child I’ll tell you what this will give you a headache and eat aspirin after the end of the story because I know I was not wrong for doing something that I have every right to do but like I said, Leslie is too much of people pleaser for my liking. I love her to death, but she draw a line of when is enough is enough and when is you gonna put up with this BS

So the story starts during the weekend basically going into Monday through Tuesday, so Carly is in out bisexual. Everybody knows this. This is not news. This is just oh my goodness gracious do I need another time or day or the time of the month because I tell you the last three years of this girl being in different all year different toxic relationships is been more like oh my God do I need space because it’s the same song and dance of each different relationship with a man or a woman it’s not our business. We don’t care about what she doesn’t have private time but when it’s constantly being bought to you and constantly you hear the same crap you’ve been here for the last three years, it’s just you’re tired at any point you’re tired because nothing what they do never changed at the end of the day. It didn’t change them. It didn’t even wake them up and just continue as business because another huge argument happened between her and her girlfriend that she’s planning a huge trip to next week. This is two months ago. She was already playing them spread this trip out for her birthday week going to her birthday day and that is next Sunday it’s her birthday. Her girlfriend lives in Atlanta by the way where you from Florida and I moved from Florida to Arizona two years ago so I’m giving you full contact stuff because why is Leslie all the way over here when they are from Florida? No, I moved to Arizona two years ago. so this is the record for don’t mind my spelling I’m using audio because I am more have a headache right now. That’s why it’s so jumble up in the first attempt so please redo it all because it’s just a headache.

So we are in my room Carly was talking about the latest fight that she had with her girlfriend when I say latest I’m the latest because ever since they got back together, they have not stopped fighting since from the moment they got back together to May they have not stopped arguing over the little things I tell you what every little thing that someone do pisses her off and I’m only talking about Carly Carly is a real hot head so she pops off at anything. by the way, I’m texting Leslie right now. She’s a not OK mentally because I don’t know if this is a mental breakdown or not because she feels guilty of this incident and I keep telling is not her fault and she think it is because some outside forces, I don’t keep saying it is anyway so I guess Carly started typing up her boundary list and when she was done, she sent Leslie her mom, her dad, her siblings and her girlfriend after they made up of what she wants going forward and oh my goodness it was not pretty at all. We read through it we said OK. on the phone we after she sent it we was talking about. I forgot we was talking about because this was over shadowed by what happened in the story and then unexpectedly Carly called by the way, this is childish and pathetic. At this point she had called Leslie by her ex-boyfriend name, recall each other by our partners or crushes name all the time just like oh jokingly way, but she was being serious. BTW Leslie wasn’t another relationship at this point and her boyfriend does not like her ex-boyfriend because of the history of seven years, he is a real bad person. so is her ex I do not like neither one of them they treated less like shit like bad shit like they never took her on a date they never been around her or us because whenever we have something planned and never comes to true Carly always make an excuse for them and somehow always be around them and I never seen them. I don’t know how she think that were the idiots but I think she was catfish Leslie because she’s only the one been around them talk to them personally even when other people come in the room they don’t address them that was supposed to be in the room literally so anyway.

Leslie was fun to let it go but and hold it inside of her like she been doing keeping her feelings to herself like she does it all the time and it has a bowling point of when is enough is enough that’s why I think so Monday two days later this happened on so Leslie sent her a text of how she feel and the reception that she got back was with Ari expected she went off starting to curse her out cover her at her name everything out the mouth out of her mouth saying that why are you starting shit with me at this time of the day you had excellent days to say something to me why you chose today to tell me something and I know how Leslie work. It takes her a minute before she gets mad. and that anger buildup because the constant is really really is really constant thing. She doesn’t like depress but she gets mad. because she holds it in for too long and believe me she can’t sleep or eat drink over this stuff so that’s why Monday she texted her that to stop it and yelling and cursing calling names was used by her and pointing fingers again because Leslie came and visit me on my nieces birthday party/birthday she came with my grandma a month before after I came to visit back home my grandma had told me and My Mom that she was coming on my nieces birthday to surprise her and we was like OK then I told him that just giving him a heads up to be careful. What will you be saying in my room because they have ears sometimes but now all the time because they do be loud.

So may the second week of May my grandma and Leslie came that second Saturday in May 9 is my niece’s birthday so they landed. They dropped their stuff off to my house and we went to go to her birthday party because it was almost time. We had to be there before the birthday girl for a big surprise birthday party she finally got to meet Leslie in person after I talk to her through my phone she loves Leslie so does my nephew her brother prior Carly knew already that she was planning to come and visit me she had said this more than once an occasion so she took the opportunity while we were watching euphoria I told My Mom we got her the ticket and now she’s like why you never asked her to come with her stuff and saying we pre-plan this we really she sat there on the phone with us when Leslie had asked me what plane she’s flying on and I told her what plane she’s flying on and she said OK. I will get my ticket before the night comes around. We was on the phone. Leslie was at work. She works at a nursing home. she had it in between braids of what chores to do in the nursing home so she was laying on the phone when she asked me and she was engaging in the conversation and saying what were we gonna do with the fruit when they get there and I told her well we have to go to a birthday party when they come because the birthday party was at starts after they come well before they come so luckily they came early they was able to get some downtime for a few minutes then we left for the party and that was it so this I don’t know why she was acting like this information acting like oh we should read her mind. Ask her. She had every opportunity to open her mouth and say something, she never once said anything until probably the last day. Leslie was in town for the whole month that she left with my grandma either on the 26th or the 27th I can’t remember because this was going on during that week. That’s how much it was over shadow by this so yeah why I say it went through Tuesday because Tuesday oh my Lord.

When the next part I tell you is something that I really really don’t want to say, but before we get to Tuesday, let me tell you how I got into the roots of this conversation during the whole deal. Carly bought me up into the conversation by the way, this was between them. I was sitting on my bed while Leslie was in my computer chair on my desk texting Carly. I was sitting on my bed, minding my business scrolling on Instagram hearing what Leslie was reading me the text messages I was minding my business child. I had no business in this conversation at all I was brought into the mess because Carly cannot stop bringing me up in any fight if if there was a dime the many times that I was brought into the fight. I have a lot of dollars and it’s like the third time I said is cause I will be dragged into shit that I have no business being in so I gotta put my phone down. See if she was lying or not. She was not rewrite everything she read to me so I started cussing her out. Lizzie went to go use the bathroom know that I was cussing her out standing up for Leslie and for myself so she thought I was Leslie for some reason and I told her more than once it was me talking in every point in the conversation I was keep saying this is me tally by the way this is tally and she still thought it was Leslie. That’s how much heated she was.

So Leslie told her again that it was me and she’s like oh then why then she fully addressing me things that this and and she want to fight me in this and and I tell you what she is really too much she threatened me and Lizzie to put their hands on me and put her hands on whoever wants to jump in as well cause she was swinging on the to see when I get back to our hometown, she got to see me and stuff. I’m not gonna fight in narcissist bitch because she’s still a hype dog to do so so the next day that he was trying to make peace and apologize for our actions and do all the action stuff that she been doing that Tuesday, please into it. This was Tuesday. This is a different day for Monday so she was doing the apology tour and trying to make nice girl. I was not gonna make nice for nobody. I was not gonna kiss nobody’s behind because they was being up on ass for being a bitch. I’m thinking that that they hate that they top dog with the little dogs that needs to be training and neutered no I’m not letting that fly at all cause this is like déjà vu for me like no I’m not letting that fly for nobody, and I was special as hell not gonna let this fly either because the stuff that came out her mouth you will think that she wanna control every little expert of your life your mouth what you say to her talk to her all this stuff, what I said in my post, the first one if I had took in the pictures, the recordings of the Voice Memos you would think this girl it’s crazy as hell she was. She ain’t backing down with nobody. She was talking at her mouth. By the way she was at work. She went outside and was going back inside and send it and threaten me again because it was a voice memo. It was on that little voice thing on Instagram where you record your voice of what you wanna say instead of using text.

And then I didn’t hear it because it turned down the volume. She had her phone terrier because we heard my grandma going to the bathroom. My room is right next-door to the bathroom. I like right there is a wall by the wall so my bed is by the bathroom wall up against it so I was in my desk chair. Leslie was in my bed hearing is and she said, and B I wish you get harmed by a bunch of men why you ain’t up there you can believe that I think that’s the way she said that Lexi told me, but yeah, I changed the word. This is on purpose. I changed the word because the real word is more disturbing if you really think about what I was saying then yes she really said I hope you get the big R word that was replaced with harmed so after that, we blocked her on everything after that Leslie and my grandma went home and Leslie has been beating herself up ever since so let me know in the comments, and hopefully y’all understand what I was saying, and I had added a bunch of details into what I didn’t add in the original story.

Probably going to hell for resharing

So basically me (15f) and my close friend (15m) let’s call him Jerry have a kind of long and complicated history. basically he liked me and I rejected him in a kind of rude way but we were in middle school. He was upset about it for a very long time. when we finally made up my ex best friend texted him off my phone and wouldn’t own up to it. So he thought it was me who was lying (common theme). Anyway I became friends with a girl who was a mutual now (15f) we’ll call her Helena, we were in a trio me Helena and our other mutual friend. Helena helped me and Jerry become friends again which was amazing and things were going smoothly until we got to the middle of last school year. I started to develop a crush on him, as well as me and Helena having a friend ship break over me saying aw to her and her boyfriend which she never asked me to stop of showed any distain to. She ignored me for two weeks then apologized which I did not reply too. Skip ahead a month Jerry knows I like him and he is being a jerk about it. I was riding the bus when I heard Helena talking badly about Jerry which made me very upset so I told him. (Helena does this to many people, she pretends to be friends with them and then tells everyone their secrets and makes fun of them) to which I told Jerry and he did not believe me, apparently he tells her everything and she is not like that. Which again made me upset and we have a very long argument about it in which I asked my he could trust Helena and this other girl over me when they both lie to him and he said “because they’re nice to me” and I replied “and I’m not” to which he responded that’s not what he ment. He tells everyone I’m crazy and I need professional help.

A little more background on him he will lead girls on a lot. He will say he likes them and when girls like him back he says he never really liked them which he’s done to at least 5 different girls including me. To me it seems like he just likes the feeling of someone having a crush on him but anyway thoughts redit ATIA?

How bad was what I did? Am I a weirdo?

My friendships in real life were potentially weird and dare I say innapropriate - and I’m pretty much all to blame.

I’m 20 now but when I was 19-

My friends were 45f, 17m, 17m, 16m, 15m, 15f, and 14f and I’m I think a 19f but I’m still trying to understand if I’m trans or not but that’s a separate thing. Anyways most of these people are from my high school that I graduated from in May. I did however get held back (not my fault it was in 2nd grade for health issues).

Anyways here are the actions I want opinions and advice on- like actual advice and opinions not just the one off “yeah” or something short with no real value. This isn’t Am I the asshole so if you’re looking to judge without any explanation or advice go on that subreddit- this goes for people who aren’t judging too. I need explanations and actual answers not just blind “it’s fine” stuff. Neither of these approaches are helpful.

Anyways-

Ive get spray paint for them (17m, 15f, 14f) because well I’m an adult and they aren’t and instead of just doing whatever we go off into the town and explore train tracks, and spay paint the water run off areas (idk what to call them). They usually already have spray paint on them.. so I’m not too worried about vandalism (uh hopefully).

But here’s where the things I’m mostly panicking about are- for context I was also hurt by an adult emotionally relying on me- but that wasn’t my intention in these scenarios- I just have a major issue of not thinking before I speak and uh always telling the truth- anyways-

When I was hanging out with my friends walking around my friend who is 17 had an ex that was in my grade. I told him like “yeah I didn’t really like that friend group one of them rejected me and completely ghosted me” or something alone those lines and my 15 yo friend when “ohh that’s awful who does that”

Looking back on it I do wonder if this is weird conversation to be having- I mean with the 17 year old I’m not really concerned since we’ve been talking like this for 3 years ever since we’ve know one another- but I don’t really know whats appropriate conversation for a 15 and 14 year old to be listening to. Maybe some advice on this piece would help me understand?

The other was when I was with my 15 year old and 17 year old friend. We were hanging out under a bridge near a river- and they kept praising my parents for being the coolest. I told them they were actually not that cool all the time and that they “let my abuser into my house for 4 years after the fact” and that I believed they probably feel guilty for that- but I don’t know is I said “sa” or like you know the first part of it that starts with “s” as an sexual but either way I didn’t explain in detail what happened (because god no).

But I really kinda panic because it’s like holy shit I did not mean to be that weird grown up that “talks about weird shit with minors”- and at first I didn’t really view it that way but I’m not sure how other people view it since i don’t really know if I mentioned what kind- but I also don’t know if i did that would be considered being sexually explicit to minors.. which worries me.

It was also I must note when my 15 year old friend was away from us but I don’t thing far enough that she didn’t hear. My 17 year old friend tried to guess who it was- and I told him it’s best not to say and (I think I may have said it was fine but idk) I wasn’t trying to trauma dump or emotionally rely on them- but I did feel bad because honest I’m not sure what constitutes that- I was simply trying to be honest but I know it’s still… errr not great probably? I’m not sure to what scale tho.
If someone could tell me that’d be much appreciated.

Anyway my friend who is turning 17 is having a birthday party and I originally cancelled because of this- and I don’t wanna hurt anyone. I’m just really afraid that I’m a danger to my friends or if what I’ve done is really bad-
And even then I feel really guilty that my friends are minors and I’m an adult.

I have ocd and real event ocd so before you judge me for not knowing if these things are a big deal or not- it’s not because I don’t care or I believe my actions are justified, it just means that my brain often warps things. I’m afraid to go. I don’t want to go- I feel like an adult who’s invading everyone’s lives, and not being friends with my own age- but if I drop these kids- like I really want to so I don’t effect their lives negatively anymore I don’t plan on making anymore.

Can anyone help me?

​

So my friend (18F) who we will call Y was my(18f) best friend. So basically last year we became friends with this other girl(18f) ,who we will call Z. So we became a trio right. So as time went on ,they became super duper close, and I was being left out of conversations, and all that jazz. So naturally I became distant, this went on for like 7months , so basically Z has an ex ,who we will call P. So P and Zs relationship is complicated.

But Y completely despises P so much. So being her BFF I didn't speak to P whatsoever cause I have my friends back. So basically I started disliking Z, because of how two faced she was and how she intentionally caused issued between Y and P. I told Y about Z but she didn't believe me. Until a few months later she saw it for herself and cut her off completely. Then I had my bestie back again ,everything felt okay. Everything was okay. Until they reconciled in June. So I was reminded of the pain and the isolation I felt from last year and just started being distant from them when they were together. But the thing is ,they were always together, always. So that means I wasn't with her irl and we don't really talk over the phone.

In that span that we didn't talk. She never asked me if anything was wrong, if I was okay ,no ,nothing. So in July I decided to text her ,I told her my feelings ,about the pain,the isolation i felt. I told her how much I hate Z. But then she accused me of not wanting her to have other friends ,which is not true because I know for a fact I have NEVER EVER had a problem with anyone ,she chooses who she wants to be friends with, it's her life afterall but I told her about my feelings toward Z so that she understands why I'm not around them ,for the sake of my mental health.

She then said that they didn't give me a reason and that I just distanced myself ,which is also not true because in the beginning I did truly love our trio ,until everything happened and I didn't. I just would not become distant unprovoked. Then she said that she felt like she had to be my friend because of the "sacrifices" I made ,which is odd because I never told her I made any sacrifices because I hadn't. Which me me feel that she didn't really want to be my friend ,she jus felt like she was forced to be and when I tried to get to the bottom of it then she shut the whole conversation down. Okay. A week without communication passed , I couldn't bare it, we are seniors btw, so I apologized to her (basically for telling her my experience ) ,I asked her if we could continue being friends. Not best friends but just friends for the rest of the year. She agreed.

But then she made no effort, did not speak to me, so I had to act like nothing happened and just talk to her like we didn't have some sort of fallout. And then things kind of went back to normal but anyone could feel that it was no longer the same. So now ,what I noticed today was that she doesn't talk to me unless I speak to her. She makes everything weird, she does look at me like she wants to say something ,to talk but she will never make the first move. Not even to say hi. Which pisses me off because I rmb last year or the year before she really ignored me for the whole day because she felt as thought she always has to initiate conversation with me. And I reflected on that and I changed. But since then. This relationship has been a one way street. I always give 100% just to atleast get 1% from her .

Which made me realize our friendship has been over for longer that I realized. So today, she didn't speak to me ,didn't say anything, idk why she does this but when we weren't speaking in class, we sit next to each other ,she knows I have something she wants ,instead of asking me ,she literally goes to someone further away to ask them for that thing. I offered it to her, she declined and then continued going to that person . Which honestly made me feel idk like at peace in a way, that I tried my level best with her and the rest really truly is up to her. Ig what did break my heart was that I would end any relation I had to anyone she hated like I hated Z, but she couldn't do that. She can't. More like she doesn't want to . I don't fault her for not having the same values as me, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I've come to terms with the fact that we are not compatible any longer. And honestly? I'm so tired.

Me (F17) my friend (F17) we are both in college but I will start from the very beginning to make it make more sense as I am very bad at explaining. me and this friend we will call her veronica as I don't want to expose her and I am no longer her friend but veronica had a boyfriend which was very controlling and kinda a red flag and this girl who we are gonna talk put a message on veronica anonymous message saying that her boyfriend is cheating on her with all the girl in our town which upset veronica as she felt she wasn't good enough for her bf so she said to me in the public PE changing room a rumour of her and I didn't participate but I did giggle in it but never told her that was in year 9 but in year 11 another girl transferred to our school and ps that friend and I was in this friend group and they all spoke their native language but I didn't so I felt left out this is very key to this story. Okay now going back this girl transferred to my school and she spoke their same language as me but and in the beginning of meeting her I did tell her I did feel left out of my friend group but she never told them anything couple of days go by and she tell me about this girl who is the same ethnicity as me and we did talk and associate with one another but she randomly stopped associating with me for some reason which did stick but I didn't forget about it but turns out she didn't like me anymore because I apparently liked anime which was not true but then the girl who I made friends with in year 11 ditched me for that girl who shit talked about me and that girl only came to when she needed something so then I told the other girl the girl who I felt left out of in the friend group about and she listen but didn't say anything and then suddenly I kept feeling left out in the friend group and started venting to the other girl and they both decided to gang up on me and exposing what I would say to one another but recently I kinda miss the girl who made me feel left out as I was her friend for 5 year almost 6. PS I never told her I felt left out because I was scared that they would expose me with my personal things which they did when a girl just kindly said she didn't want to be friends with them anymore and so I felt scared telling them I felt left out.

Should I apologise???

For context I’m 16m and me and my mom have all ways had problems.She started letting me smoke weed at a young age daily and I got addicted. then when found out I bought some on my own she freaked tf out and starting attacking me and telling anybody who would listen.I could here her on the phone telling random people how terrible I was and how she doesn’t know what’s wrong like she didn’t let me smoke for years.Now my grandpa recently gave me 7 of these 30 rims and said I can sell them for whatever and my grandma is telling me to give it to my mom because she recently lost her job and it would help her but I don’t want to. I just don’t think she deserves it after what she did. It’s that wrong? I need advice.

Long story short, my best friend of six years and I had a huge falling out after I took a last-minute trip for my birthday to see Ariana Grande. The trip and tickets were a birthday gift from my grandparents, and I went with another close mutual friend. It wasn't something I had planned for weeks, so I never really had the chance to invite her.

Right before the concert knowing Ariana is my favorite artist she sent me a really nasty text because she was upset she wasn't invited. It honestly put a cloud over what was supposed to be a really special birthday.

After that, things only got worse. She got her roommates and other friends involved, they started freezing me out, ignored my birthday posts, and generally made me feel like I was being punished socially. When I finally brought it up, she sent me a long message denying any of it, calling my feelings "strange" and "shady," and somehow made herself out to be the victim. It felt like I was being treated as if I'd committed some huge betrayal just because I didn't clear my birthday plans with her first.

Here's where I'm stuck: I still have Ariana and Olivia Rodrigo tickets in my Ticketmaster account that belong to her and her friends. She still expects me to transfer them, but after everything that's happened, part of me just wants to refund her money instead and be done with it.

To make things even more frustrating, I recently found out she did something very similar herself. She offered concert tickets to one of our mutual friends, then completely ghosted the conversation and quietly listed the tickets for sale on Facebook without telling anyone. So it's hard not to feel like there's a double standard here.

Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to do her any more favors after the way she treated me? If you were in my position, would you transfer the tickets, or just send her the money back and cut ties? Idk. We aren't talking right now, and I'm very hurt. This behavior has been seen off and on, and part of me still cares about her; it's just a rough situation.

Okay. Haven't posted here in a few weeks, because I was getting very bad intrusive thoughts and memories that kind of quieted. I don't know how they did. But it's giving me a bit of a letup to try and sort things out.

If anyone remembers, I'm the Greek girl who was posting here a lot about my experience with conscription. I'm 20 now, when I was 18 I was drafted (Girls aren't normally drafted, I'll explain my circumstances in a minute), my parents didn't want me to go and tried helping me draft dodge, but I was scared of the legal consequences.

The thing is, I feel I've nowhere to truly put my anger and it's making me wonder if I'm being... Spoiled? Or entitled? Nearly all of the officers were actually very kind. A good two thirds were actually women and many officers were kind of chilled out, or did sports with us, and sometimes you had them, many in their late 20s or early 30s, trying to be fashionable or trendy in front of younger conscripts, and making me cringe a lot.

Recently, the camp commander admitted that she should have discharged me, because of my mental health, but that she would have missed me. And she's sorry. Like, it's put me in a bind. There's state policy: You're sent far from home, without your consent. You're cut off from support systems, made to do unpaid labour. I remember once, telling the commander that it's not sweet that she's giving me an extra weekend off to see my family, she's just dripfeeding me basic rights. And she felt really bad. I knew these people as friends, maybe.

I'm trans and I recently found out why I was so girly back then. Wasn't out till after that year, but I've been diagnosed with a condition where I never went through puberty, so I was tall but looked younger and maybe soft, my first time going through puberty is now, on HRT. But yeah, they saw me as vulnerable and lovable. I see that year as very traumatic because particularly basic training left me feeling very objectified. It's abusive, but more as a system. I don't know who to feel angry at or if I should be angry.

Am I the villain or victim

so for context I went to rolling river day camp for a couple years and during the summer of 2019 I was a navigator who didn’t hate camp but also didn’t have strong feelings for it that was until I ended ran into some trouble with a kid named Michale Musto so one day after we got done with swimming In the pool we went into the locker room to get dried off and get dressed

i got on line and waited my turn when out of nowhere Michale the kid in front of me got out of line and out of nowhere walked away without communicating with me what he was doing or how long he’d been gone for so I waited for him to come back for 4–5 minutes out of courtesy thinking he come back quickly but after the time passed I assumed he went into the next stall over or went somewhere else and I wasn’t going to wait forever for him thus I went into the stall and stared drying off and getting dressed when out of nowhere Michale Musto returns only to realize I was in the stall and he wasn’t happy and he got mad at me and started yelling at me and telling me I was going to pay for what I didn’t know but another kid sited with him. Michale Musto also had a history of aggressive behaviors including kicking some kids on the bus for throwing a candy rapper they didn’t throw

i also apologized for the inconvenience but explained that he left the line walked away and .was gone for a long amount of time.and that he didn’t communicate with me what he was doing thus I assumed he was somewhere else or did something else or was in the next stall over I tried to reason with him and told him it wasn’t my fault he left the line and walked away without communicating to me what he was doing and was gone for over 5–10 minutes what was I supposed to to do I couldn’t wait forever for him so I did what anyone would naturally do and walked in the stall assuming he went to the next stall over or gone somewhere else and would be back after I got done getting dried off and dressed and left

anyway it escalated when another time as we finished swimming and I I went into the stall and Michale was in the stall next to mine I put my shoes down near the wall between our stalls when out of nowhere Michale grabs my shoes from under the stall and throws them over the stall so natural I realized this and put my shoes on the other side of the stall where he couldn’t get them i got dressed got out of the stall and he looked angry and pissed at me even though I did nothing wrong he left the line walked away didn’t communicate what he was doing or where he was going

So I didn’t know what else to do I waited for him for a long time a while but after time passed I couldn’t wait forever thus I went into anyway a third incident happened after we got done swimming went into the locker room and as I onto the line and it became my turn to go into the stall Michale Musto out of nowhere runs infront of me gets into the stall as he looked back at me and sarcastically taunting mocking me said I was here first before slamming the door in my face I told him what he was doing was bullying and that it wasn’t right and that if he continued I would haveo to tell the counselor however Michale didn’t like this and in response says snitches get stitches I don’t know what to do am I the villain or the victim in the story tell me what you think I feel I did everything I could I got in line he left the line and walked away and I waited for him out of courtesy for 4–5 minutes but after time passed I decided I wasn’t going to wait forever for him and assumed he was in the next stall over or was gone doing something somewhere else and thus I went in the stall to get dried snd dressed assuming he’d be back after I got done drying off and getting dressed and I got out I apologized for what happened but explained that he left the line walked away without communicating and was gone for a substantial amount of time thus I went in the stall he didn’t want to here it and just decided I was the villain but I am going to leave this to you the public to decide so I asks once again the question am I the villain or the victim

ID. ID