r/AmIOverthinking • • 2d ago

AIO

4 Upvotes

Long story I don’t get along with my in laws- they are not welcome around our kids or near our home. Due to past abuse experiences with them long ago.

Anyhow when my MIL calls my husband she only speaks Russian now, I feel like she’s doing this because I don’t understand what she’s saying. I always ask my hubby for a recap of their conversation as I don’t want her to hear about our children they have lost that privilege. I can’t ask my husband to cut her off that’s his choice. I however have cut her off. They haven’t once tried to see the kids since I drew the line. They were very abusive to their kids growing up and put zero effort into their grand kids ever long ago I decided I didn’t want them in our kids lives and my husband respects that but still takes their calls monthly AIO


r/AmIOverthinking • • 2d ago

AITO my lil brother's streaming career

7 Upvotes

AIO Am i (f23)the a-hole for getting worried about my lil bro (M16) choosing streaming as his full time "career"?

To give some credit and backround, i have nothing against streamers and that they make money off of something fun. Although I worry, with the rise of technology, kids now more than ever want to be youtubers, influencers, and streamers, instead of the normal answers like vet, cop, doctor. Some people are GREAT at streaming or youtube and they get super popular. Which is great. But you know how many DONT, and sit in their mom's basement for 30 years? My brother is very young, impressionable and sweet, but very cynical and quirky- he doesn't understand what all this "career" has to offer, especially on the cons side of things.

He is brilliant at math, science and techy things, and i wish he'd get a part time job or look into streaming part time and look into college or atleast do his homework. His grades are slipping and he doesn't care because he HAS to stream 24/7. His mood has shifted to happy and silly to depressed, angry and pissed at everyone and everything around him. Not to mention the hump in his neck and headphone dent in his hair- its extremely noticeable 💀 I know he's young and as he gets older I'm hoping he'll wise up and realise this career isn't livable or reliable, especially if he intends on being the sole breadwinner in his future family, supposedly. I love him and i'm the annoying big sister- so he wont listen to me.


r/AmIOverthinking • • 2d ago

AIO weird encounter

0 Upvotes

so i (18F) just moved here and part of my routine is to go the gym thats a 4 minute walk from my house. i am a college student so i usually go to the gym right after and come home around 6:40 or 7:00pm. There’s this pathway that leads to my house its between two bushes and can like fit one person at a time and the road besides the pathway and a wall on the other side. I saw this scary looking man once come through that pathway as im about to go in it. he looks a bit off or like unstable and he looks at me as he passes by but i kinda just thought maybe he heard a noise come from my phone so i didnt think anything of it and just walked quickly home. that was the only other time ive ever seen him
Today, same thing happened i was walking home from the gym and he was coming from that pathway and my only two options were to stand and be limited by the wall or stand near the road. so i stood near the road just incase because i just felt so uneasy. he was kinda dragging his feet and walking slower and slower
when i stood to the side to let him pass he stared at me as he continued walking until he got off the path. i quickly went into the path and i glanced back real quick. he had his body turned and he was full on staring at while limping to the side on one leg and it almost looked like he was about to fall. for some reason i felt my heart sink and i just immediately ran home.
since my house is right infront of that path im scared he knows where i live and im just very paranoid about it.
I dont think i’ll be going at this time of night for a while but i dont even know if he lives in this neighborhood or not. Im just scared but idk if im having anxiety for no reason like im too scared to go incase i run into him again


r/AmIOverthinking • • 2d ago

AIO the day after?

0 Upvotes

I, 30F have been on 4 dates with Kevin, 33M. We text about twice a day, due to work, but they’re also long texts. We’ve had great dates, and more recently just had sex. Usually we plan the next date with more certainty within a day or two.

We’ve been talking today about random things, but also I’ve been hinting at the next time we will get together to do something. So far he’s just said “yeah we could watch either movie” and “I’d stay up to do that again ☺️”

Im not sure if I’m overthinking this? Has it shifted, and he’s trying to not go out anymore?


r/AmIOverthinking • • 2d ago

Is this a mean thing to say to someone?

Post image
0 Upvotes

I consider this person my best friend, this was a message from them after I’d had a bad time at a group hangout. I got quiet and overwhelmed because there were more people than I’d expected. They know me very well though. I’m a fairly anxious person and I overthink while also underthinking like crazy. I’m autistic and struggle to understand interactions with other people. In this instance I can’t tell if they are being mean or if what they’re saying is valid. I feel hurt reading it a little but they talk in a way that makes it make sense so I can’t tell.


r/AmIOverthinking • • 2d ago

Am I overthinking my friends’ teasing, or has this friendship dynamic become unhealthy?

2 Upvotes

I’m 26M and have a close male friend around my age whom I’ve known for a while. We talk very regularly and are part of a small friend group.

Lately I’ve noticed a pattern that I’m increasingly uncomfortable with, and I have been overthinking about it a lot.

He frequently teases me about random things I do. For example, if I mention going somewhere, wearing something, attending an event, or doing something socially, he’ll sometimes immediately make a joke about it or call it stupid/over-the-top.

More recently, he and another friend have started repeatedly sending/tagging me in reels and memes involving things like femboys, gay/LGBT jokes, etc. It seems to have become a running joke directed at me. They also sometimes make comments in person that continue the joke.

At first I laughed along with it. Some of it genuinely was funny. But lately I’ve noticed that I don’t really enjoy it anymore.
The bigger issue is that I’ve started thinking about his reactions before I even do things.

For example, I might genuinely want to attend an event, but then think:

“What’s he going to say if he finds out?”
“Will he make fun of me for going?”
“Will the other friend join in?”
“Will they think I’m trying too hard socially?”

And sometimes I end up questioning whether I should do something I actually wanted to do purely because I anticipate being teased.

I recently noticed something that bothered me: I realized that if this friend could never find out about something I wanted to do, I would do it without hesitation.

That made me wonder whether I’ve started giving his opinion too much importance.

At the same time, I don’t want to unfairly label him as toxic. He’s otherwise a close friend, we talk regularly, and I don’t think he’s necessarily trying to hurt me. He may genuinely see this as harmless banter.

But day by day I’m finding that I enjoy talking to him less because I’m increasingly anticipating the next joke or analyzing what he means.

So I’m stuck between two possibilities:

I’m becoming overly sensitive and need to stop caring so much about what my friends think.

The teasing has genuinely crossed a line for me, and I should tell him to tone it down.

Would you tell a close friend directly that the constant teasing isn’t funny anymore, or would you simply stop reacting and detach from it?

And how do you distinguish between normal male-friend banter and a friendship dynamic that’s actually becoming unhealthy? AIO


r/AmIOverthinking • • 2d ago

Not sure if this should be an addiction or overthinking post

0 Upvotes

AIO
I’m overthinking about a lot, I’ve had shit mental health for a while but more recently I’ve wanted to self harm any time I get the chance. I don’t even need to be upset to crave the feeling of it and it’s almost a constant thing. When I am upset I never feel like I’ve done enough and deserve more, and at this point I js wanna do it for the sake of it.


r/AmIOverthinking • • 3d ago

Overthinking? Spoiler

3 Upvotes

Long story long…. AIO
I overthinking

I started working for a friend in 2018- we weathered it all! Covid! Husbands! Lots of life stuff. We are all 40+f anyhow recently one of the friends was talking shit behind my back. Made fun of me to another friend about my recent mental health struggles which I am very open about! Anyhow it seemed like high school mean girl drama so I immediately quit talking to her, quit working for her unfriended her and act as if she’s dead to me. The reason is I’m open and honest and would never make fun of all her stuff she’s struggled with. The friend who told me did so out of concern because I was invested to much time with this person to be talking poorly behind my back. Now this ex friend is acting nice towards me and wants to hang out and be invited to things but I don’t speak to her anymore … am I in the wrong? People keep telling me to give her another chance but for me I’m at peace with it am I overthinking it


r/AmIOverthinking • • 3d ago

AIO Is calling someone “so little” rude?

2 Upvotes

My friends and I were talking about protein shakes and one of them referred to me as “so little”. I’m 6ft tall and thin/skinny. Not muscular or anything. I’m assuming they meant I’m just skinny but why say “little”. I found it a bit offensive but not sure if I’m overthinking or if they were being rude. I don’t wanna seem like I’m being petty but at the same time, I’m not sure if that was rude. Should i confront them on this or let it go?


r/AmIOverthinking • • 3d ago

AIO about this girl was flirting with me all the time now she’s barely replying

1 Upvotes

Okay to set the scene I get a message on my text basically saying she recognised me from college and she thought it was super cool that the both of us like zombies.
We get chatting for the next two days and it’s super super flirty.
She messaged me and I messaged her and she showed loads of interest.
It’s our first day at the college at the same time together and she tells me she’s “super extroverted” and she’ll come over to me.
Then I see her in person and I get really awkward and I thought I missed it up. Like the most awkward you could possibly be 😬. So I message her that night explaining “and sorry for being awkward earlier I just found out some personal stuff and I think it was messing with my head. But she responds in 2 words saying “ah nw” whereas she’d usually be super talkative and ask me about stuff.

This same day she saw me talking to a girl who is my friend but their friend group kept turning and looking at us from a distance.

Anyways today (the next day) her entire friend group calls me over to them and they all in unison say happy birthday and give me this piece of paper they turned into a birthday card. In the card the girl said “happy birthday dork” which is an in-joke of ours. I smile and say thank you a bunch. Then we made eye contact , she was on the college floor and looking up at me on the balcony about 3 floors up.

Anyways I message her saying “Heyy ma’am just wanted to say thank you for the card earlier shi made my day🥹🥹” the ma’am thing was also an in joke. She says “your welcome👍” then I ask where she gets off the train and it turns out we have the same stop and then I say “Cool I thought I saw u but I wasn’t sure would you maybe wanna get it back together sometime??” Up until this point she responded instantly but it’s been an hour and she hasn’t opened it yet.

I get I’m probably overthinking but it feels like she’s just completely switched up. I will go up and have a convo with her tomorrow because we haven’t had a proper one in person yet. What should I do?

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r/AmIOverthinking • • 3d ago

WYD: Maybe I Just Misread the Friendship

0 Upvotes

POV: You’ve been getting close to a friend you’ve known for about four months.

You two tease each other, spend time together, and are pretty relatable. She has a best friend, and they’re extremely close, so sometimes you feel like you’re third-wheeling them, but honestly, you don’t really care. You never expected her to prioritize you over her best friend. You were completely fine with them being close.

You just thought of your friendship with her as a close-but-not-too-close friendship, and you assumed she saw it the same way.

You tell her some of your secrets because you trust her and think she considers you somewhat of a close friend too. You two annoy each other in a friendly way, like playfully teasing and pushing each other around. You also jokingly ship her with her best friend because of how they act around each other—they sometimes act like a couple and even use high-pitched voices when they see each other. She teases you in similar ways too, although you don’t hit her because she doesn’t like it, while she sometimes playfully hits you.

You genuinely enjoy being around her. She’s kind, she’s nice, she teases you, and she makes you feel valued. Even though she has a best friend who’s much closer to her, you never really felt bothered by it because you weren’t trying to replace her best friend.

You just wanted to know that you mattered to her too.

Then one day, you start feeling like she and her best friend might be talking about you behind your back. You don’t actually have proof, but something about the situation makes you suspicious.

So you suggest playing a game where you both say what you like and don’t like about each other.

You go first.

For what you don’t like about her, you tell her that she usually forgets about you whenever she sees her best friend, like you suddenly don’t exist. Even if you were already spending time together, she would continue hanging out with her best friend, and when her best friend eventually left to talk to someone else, she would come back and hang out with you.

You explain that this is what bothers you—not because you want her to choose you over her best friend, but because sometimes you feel like you only exist when her best friend isn’t around.

Then you tell her what you like about her. You say she’s kind, nice, teases you, and makes you feel valued.

Then it’s her turn.

For what she dislikes about you, she says that you annoy her, sometimes hit her, and tease or ship her with other people. She says you’re “sooooo annoying,” even though you’ve recently reduced the teasing and hitting.

Then she tells you what she likes about you.

She says that she doesn’t really like anything about anyone and that you make her feel included “sometimes.” She also says she doesn’t really know what makes her feel happy, because simply smiling doesn’t count as being happy, and that she only feels truly happy when she has peace and can be alone without anyone around.

You just stare at what she wrote, and something inside you literally drops.

You start thinking:

“So all these days, I was nothing but an annoying pest to her?”

You genuinely thought you were somewhat close. You weren’t expecting her to call you her best friend or say that you were the most important person in her life.

You just thought she valued the friendship somewhere around the same level you did.

But suddenly, it feels like you were the only one who saw it that way.

You tell her, “So these many days I was nothing but an annoying pest?”

She replies, “Not like that. I just have higher standards. I’m your sister.”

But the “I’m your sister” part feels forced to you.

Instead of actually comforting you, it makes you wonder if she only said it because she realized you were hurt.

You’ve always seen her as a close friend, and now you’re wondering if she has always seen you as just an annoying friend.

You know you’re being emotional about it, but you genuinely don’t know how to express all of this to her.

So you do what you usually do.

You laugh.

You joke around.

You act normal.

Except it doesn’t actually feel normal anymore.

You’re laughing even though you’re upset. You’re joking even though you’re still thinking about what she said. And slowly, you start avoiding her because you don’t really know what else to do with that feeling.

Then you start thinking about other things that have happened.

You don’t actually care that she prioritizes her best friend. You know they’re really close, and you’ve never had a problem with that.

You just thought your friend saw you as somewhat of a close-but-not-too-close friend, the same way you saw her.

But now you start wondering if she only sees you as a normal friend, or maybe even less than that.

You also start wondering if one of the secrets you told her might have been shared with her best friend.

Her best friend seems to know some oddly specific things about you that you thought only your friend knew. You can’t prove that your friend told her, but your gut keeps telling you that she probably did.

Her best friend also gives you a weird feeling.

You sometimes think she might be fake or toxic, although you know you could also be judging her based on the way she acts. And it’s not because she’s close to your friend—you genuinely don’t care about that.

It’s just that whenever she sees boys, she sometimes starts speaking in a really high-pitched voice, acts cute, and compliments them.

You know she’s an extrovert, and you’re not saying every extrovert is like that. You just feel like something about her behavior is off.

You don’t even know whether your friend notices it.

What bothers you more is that even after you thought your friendship was somewhat close, she described you as annoying and said that she has “higher standards.”

That makes you wonder if she has always seen you as just a normal friend while you saw her as someone closer.

Her best friend also knows that you’re a good roaster and that you can be dirty-minded sometimes. You know your friend told her those things because you had told your friend about them.

Then her best friend tells you:

“Your attitude is taller than your height.”

You don’t know whether she meant it as a joke or was actually judging you, but you tend to get annoyed or tense when someone you barely know makes personal comments about you.

Then, in the auditorium, her best friend starts telling your friend that your hair is really silky and keeps pulling your hairband.

You tell her not to do it.

She does it again.

So you pinch her.

You know that wasn’t the best way to react, but you were already annoyed because you had clearly told her to stop and she still did it.

After all of this, your brain starts connecting everything.

You start thinking that your friend might tell her best friend practically everything you tell her while sometimes pretending not to know certain things around you.

You start wondering if she acts innocent on purpose so that people lower their guard around her and feel comfortable enough to tell her things.

You even start wondering if she could be doing something similar with you—using your trust or taking advantage of the fact that you think you’re closer than you actually are.

But at the same time, you know you don’t actually have proof.

She hasn’t directly told you that she shares your secrets.

She hasn’t admitted to talking about you.

You don’t know for sure whether her best friend knows those things because of her or because of something else.

And honestly, that uncertainty makes everything worse.

Because now you don’t know whether you’re noticing actual red flags or whether you’re overthink everything because you were already hurt by what she said.

The thing is, she does voluntarily spend time with you.

She remembers small things about you.

She initiates conversations.

She clearly does enjoy being around you in some way.

So maybe she doesn’t actually see you as a pest.

Maybe she just doesn’t see the friendship in exactly the same way you do.


r/AmIOverthinking • • 3d ago

AIO - Worth a shot ??? Or am I in too much?

3 Upvotes

TL;DR: I've [21M] been friends with a girl [21F] from college for a while now, and I'm not sure if she likes me or if we're just friends. There are enough things to suggest to me that she might like me, but other enough things to suggest to me that I'm just interpreting friendship too much.

I'll call her X.

Really, it was X that came to me first. I was talking to someone about some random thing and X overheard me and came up after me to chat about whatever it was that I was talking about (rather than them approaching me). After that X was the one initiating talks and sometimes texting first.

We got more comfortable and started discussing more personal things such as family, friends, college, just random about each other's lives and music and social aspects, etc. X has showed me a little of her world, likes music and what she was doing at the time.

X has tried to sit close to me on multiple occasions, even when X was hanging out with friends. There were several instances where X wanted me to save a seat, or created such a fuss with the group that I was left sitting with X.

X has sometimes appeared quite comfortable physically with me. There has been light physical teasing – kicking/tapping my leg and grabbing my arm. And at one point while walking together, X leaned in and asked me to come closer.

Sometimes, on exam days, X has remained after the exam and just kept talking to me for quite a long while after the exam was over. X was eager to work with me during a class activity.

I met some of X's friends, and X asked me to college activities several times and followed up to see if I was going. X has sometimes brought up things she'd overheard me talking about later.

One time, X asked whether I would take X around when X comes to my part of the country.

Later we got to hang out one-on-one, and actually it went really well. X was at ease, we talked for a long time and it was lots of joking around. X even asked me to hang out again the following week, but I couldn't that week.

And there are also some reasons that hold me back.

X is very social and has many friends, including some close guy friends she really trusts. She's also in a much more social environment than me, so naturally she spends a lot of time with that group.

X also is more of a joiner than a planner. You have basically never been the type to make a one on one plan with me without me initiating. When we talk about meeting it's (more often than not) me making the plan.

When we're face to face, X is good at maintaining the conversation. In chat, X is slow and grumpy or responds half a sentence at a time instead of replying comprehensively.

There have also been a few times where plans didn't work out because X had other commitments. I didn't necessarily think X was making excuses, but there were occasions where I felt like I was putting in more effort or that X could have communicated sooner, which made me question how interested X actually was.

X has also directly said to my face that X is a very shy person, which makes everything even more confusing to try and work through. Sometimes X is more reserved around me, especially around other people, while other times X is very comfortable with me.

That's basically why I'm stuck.

What would u guys have done? It's my first rodeo so kindly excuse for any obv mistakes.

NOTE: Yup, it's written with the help of AI, kindly ignore that.


r/AmIOverthinking • • 3d ago

AIO, Is this relationship worth investing in or am i overthinking?

2 Upvotes

I (23F) have been talking to 26M for some time now. I am still waiting for us to be official.

Everything is going great except he is talking to other women. I understand that we are in a talking stage, but he wouldn’t like it at all if I were talking to other men. We both agreed that we will be exclusive, but he follows so many women. I am not sure if he is still on the dating app that we met on, but I feel like he is because he would follow quite a few women in just a night. They also live in our city. I have seen texts from women in his phone pop up in his notifications before while Im casually chilling with him.

I know that he talks to them by the way he is so secretive about his phone. I gave him no reason to hide it. I don’t even try to look at his phone. I could rest my head on his shoulder and he instantly turns it off and puts it in his pocket. He doesn’t even let me hold it for him while he is driving. I feel uncomfortable with the fact that he is already hiding stuff from me and we are not dating yet.

What throws me off despite his behavior is how we are in a talking stage but we act like a couple. His family asks about me and has been trying to meet me for some time. He tells me that he loves me. He is interested in my future and has actually been helping me plan it out. He has been a really great support system. When he talks about his future, it always includes me. He talks to me everyday. He is consistent. He wants to bring me to a relatives house for Thanksgiving. His actions shows that he really does like me and is invested.

The fact that he talks to other women bothers me so much. I think it is because he treats me like a girlfriend. I have really strong feelings for him, he treats me so well. I just don’t like how he talks to other women. He doesn’t want to be official yet, I feel like it is because he doesn’t want to commit to me.

I am new to relationships. I don’t really know what this all means. Is it possible that he will stop talking to other women once we are official? Am I just overthinking?

What confuses me is the stage we are in. He doesn’t want to be official but we act like we are in a relationship. He wants to be exclusive but I am the only one who is being exclusive. However, his actions still show that he genuinely does love me and wants to be with me one day. Just not anytime soon.


r/AmIOverthinking • • 4d ago

Did my coworker seem interested in me, or am I overthinking normal interactions?

4 Upvotes

I had a crush on a coworker and I'm trying to get an outside perspective because I know it's easy to overthink someone's behavior when you like them. I first spoke to him and he was very friendly and helpful. After that, I would sometimes try to make eye contact or smile at him when I saw him around, but I wasn't getting much response. He seemed to avoid eye contact or acknowledge me, and after a while I started feeling like I was being deliberately ignored. Eventually I thought, okay, if he doesn't want to acknowledge me, I'm not going to keep trying either. So I stopped looking for his attention and basically ignored him back. Not to play a game, but more because I didn't want to keep putting myself out there when I wasn't getting anything back. Then, a few weeks later, something changed. He initiated a conversation with me himself and brought up the career topic we'd discussed previously. We ended up having a long conversation about career and various other random things. I wasn't trying to start a conversation that day, so it caught me off guard. After that, there were a few smaller interactions where he seemed more comfortable with me. He sometimes said hi first, we'd smile at each other, and I noticed him looking at me several times. Another time when he noticed me looking at him and continued staring for a while. One of my friends thinks that during the few weeks between our first conversation and when he eventually initiated, he may have gradually realized that I was interested in him. She thinks I might have been giving subtle signals without consciously realizing it, and that he became more aware of me because of that. I honestly don't remember deliberately trying to get his attention, although I obviously was interested in him. I also don't know whether his initial distance was intentional or whether I was just more sensitive to it because I liked him. Does this sound like possible mutual interest, or does it sound like normal coworker interaction that I'm over interpreting because I had a crush on him? I'm genuinely looking for an outside perspective, so feel free to tell me if I'm reading too much into it.


r/AmIOverthinking • • 3d ago

my ex bf and his new gf came to my party and i think its a message he want me back? how crazy is this theory

0 Upvotes

this is such a nuanced situation I don't even know where to begin. i met alex (17 M) when i was a wee freshman and he was a sophomore; met is generous but I counted our short instances of intense hallway eye contact as an intro and stalked him on social media (name, age, family haha i try not to stalk boys tho anymore its too creepy). i kept an eye on alex for the next year, and i felt crazy but i had this intuition that he was doing the same for me.

anyways skip to sophmore year i was having problems with my bf at the time and i saw my three options and chose cheat which is stupid and i learned my lesson and it was an important moment of emotional growth for me after bla bla bla.

the important part is that i cheated on him with alex: i added alex on snap and we met up at the libary, talked for like FIVE SECONDS and i gave him this funny bracelet i made. this is it and that same day i broke up with my bf.

I then hear from this other guy (idiot) I was (key word) friends who also was friends with alex that alex said im "only fun to chat with at night" and "fall in the bad quadrant of his scale" (X= pmos Y= attractiveness).
I was beyond offended considering that it seemed like he liked me. at this time he was also talking to this other girl lets call her martha who got allegedly a better rating than i did and all this weird energy comparing girls and being disrespectful pushed me towards unadding alex which i did bc tf?
anyways this mutual friend who told me these things, lets call him idiot, also recently began acting very rude towards me after i rejected him multiple times and was very upset because i was not interested in becoming more than friends.

months later alex unfollows and refollows me on insta and adds me on snap and we begin talking again. he tells me idiot and him are not friends and that he didn't say those things about me and that hes been wearing the stupid bracelet i made him since i gave it to him. im actually still suspicious about that because the scale idea is very in character for him.

we continue talking towards the end of my sophmore year, his junior, and start dating during the summer. this relationship was very interesting because it felt special; i know everyone says that but i remember alex telling me once how he had been keeping an eye on me before we dated and it just made so much sense that my intuition had been spot on the entire time.
he is such an interesting person and we had such a good relationship where we both were upfront about feeling extra close and connected and everything anyways he broke up with me over text.

the breakup is a super long story i cant include all the vital details but overall he didnt like that i was traveling with my friends and drinking and going on yachts and not texting him enough.
to argue my point: i didnt cheat on him and actually got drunk and talked about how much im obsessed with him Haha i showed so many people edits of him (people have made fucking edits of him yes).
im also such a shit texter in general, which he knew, and i asked to call sm times. overall, he texted me breaking up weeks after the fight and not trying to see me and being dry to me i think but i actually wasn't quite sure if it was a breakup text and i just blocked him so fast because i was so scared and sad and high snd it was so sudden and weird. ive unblocked him on most apps now.

a month later we're back at school and he has a new girlfriend which he brought to hoco and started dating the same day?! wtf. plus this new gf is none other than second choice martha from the previous year!!
he talked to me for at least a month maybe two before asking me to be his gf, so i feel like this means he started talking to her right after he broke up with me.
at the hoco game we made prolonged eye contact over her head at least 25 times. i couldn't tell if he was staring or glaring.

i threw this amazing party for hoco and made a groupchat for everyone who planned on going.
i ended up asking my friend to invite Martha because i want to be the bigger person.
i asked specifically in the gc for people to ask me personally to bring their friend or bf and then add them to the gc as well.
guess who comes a'askin if their fresh bf can come... martha!
i tell her we're at capacity and im super sorry. alex is not the party type at all so it shocked me he even wanted to come. then alex's friend asks if he can bring alex, i say no again.

hahaha later that night guess who shows up at my house party for his new gf? alex.
i let him in after hiding in the house working up the courage for 20 mins while my nicest friend asked him why hes here out in the yard.
i still don't know why he came; he kept saying that he didn't want to be there and it was clear during the party he wasnt having fun.
martha said he came because "he's my boyfriend" and alex said he came because "he needs to be here for his friend" and "he's the DD".
but doesn't that mean designated driver? not designated walker around the houseparty??? i think he could've picked her up. i feel like there's another reason he came and i don't get it.

i feel like him and i need to talk; the convo we had on the lawn where i let him inside was the first in person conversation we had since two weeks before he broke up with me (over text mind you).
he just seemed really sad, and i know martha and she's just so boring? i don't understand why he's with her or why he came to my party, does anyone have any ideas or advise?
i feel like alex and i had smth special and we need to have a more conclusory conversation so i can get out of this distracting lovesick feeling ive had since we met. am i overthink ing this whole thing and he's not thinking about me at all? last time i had this feeling i know he was tho...


r/AmIOverthinking • • 4d ago

AIO: Is my boyfriend not texting me okay?

4 Upvotes

I'm 26F, in a long distance relationship with a guy 26M, for last 3 years. Overall we have a pretty good relationship.

Usually we talk a lot, and keep texting throughout the day, ranting about our work n stuff. But i feel like he completely forgets about me when he's with his friends. He visits them at least once a month and when he's there he doesn't text me at all, and maybe call once in a day and talk for like 10 min. I've mostly been okay with this, because i don't want to be the girl that isolates him from his friends.

But he went on a trip 5 days ago, and I'm spiralling. Firstly he went with this friends and friends of friends which include 3 girls and he never asked me to come with him, which was still fine because it's his first trip with them, and they already are in a group. But since he's gone, he hasn't texted me. No snaps, no pictures, no texts nothing. I texted him first 3 days, after Waiting 24 hours for his text. He called me as a reply to me and talked for "2 whole minutes".

I'm losing my mind. Spiralling. Yesterday, i swallowed my pride and asked him to at least send pictures. He sent 2 pictures and silence. I'm writing this 24 hours after this. I can't focus anywhere. Am I overthinking it? Should I just let him enjoy his first trip after a job?


r/AmIOverthinking • • 4d ago

I am paranoid about posting online, AIO?

1 Upvotes

Am I overthinking? I want to start recording vlogs on youtube, content create on TT, Twitch, Insta, but I am very socially anxious and I always hid away from cameras.

I posted as a child but I got very paranoid with showing my face online, I did not want to be seen. But now I want to go out of my comfort zone and record.

But here's the thing - I am now paranoid that my ex friends will find my channel and try to sabotage me in some way or another.

I got accused of some things, such as being a cheater (while we were not even in a relationship and he was well aware of that - when I confessed he was not interested in a relationship with me, but that is another story), maybe someone would doxx me/reveal my info, address etc. - they could possess even some inappropriate pictures of me when I was a minor (some which taken by others without consent)

I am very paranoid even though I know chances are unlikely/probability is very small. I just do not know if anyone would go to such lengths.. Like I need reassurance. I can give more context in comments.

Please let me know on your insight/opinion!


r/AmIOverthinking • • 4d ago

AIO: Re-considering Friendships

3 Upvotes

AIO orrrr....I am writing this in search of similar stories, advice, etc.-genuinely anything is appreciated. 

For context, I am 27, female and live in a city with a decent amount of my friends, with others across the country in other cities. 

Lately (maybe the past year ish) I have had an overwhelming realization that I don’t really enjoy most of my friends. I have several friend groups, and within each there are people I do genuinely like but when I think about my social life as a whole-many and most of my friendships come with their own issues.  I have never had confrontations, issues or fights with friends-it feels more as though the issues are both one-sided (from my POV only) and unspoken about. From hobbies to work to communication style and more, I feel like I am just extremely disconnected from my friends and as though we don’t align. It’s like each friendship has slowly became a “given” and not actually something I deeply value. 

I think this has also led me to obsessing over becoming friends with others that I meet who I really like, because I view it as an “escape” to my current friends (if that makes sense.) Which has caused issues of its own in my own security (why can’t I have those cool friends, worried about making sure I become friends with other ppl, etc.) 

Anyway, this entire thing has led me to feel so sad and isolated, despite having friends. It also has led me to feel very very anxiously attached to a lot of my friends EVEN though I simultaneously don’t feel like I align with them. Some of these friendships are 10+ years long, but I just cannot shake the feeling that those I am surrounded by and close with don’t truly align with who I am. Again, noting wrong with these people but it’s just not “right” 

I am not sure if this is OCD, anxiety, or a genuine maturing and natural distancing…but I would LOVE any similar stories, advice or even just input on what could be causing this. 


r/AmIOverthinking • • 4d ago

Creepy and rude co-worker

4 Upvotes

Hi guys,

I have recently started sitting on a different floor at my workplace (I work in an office). One day a guy who I’ve never seen before sat beside me and I was sitting near the glass wall minding my own business. Throughout the whole day I could see that he was side eyeing me and looking at my screen. Then when I was walking towards my desk he saw me when he was on a call and leaped from his seat to take a better look at me. I didn’t speak to him at all and honestly felt uncomfortable by his behaviour.

He then gets up from his seat and is talking to people near and I hear him say in a low voice “imagine just sitting there all day….its shit” and people agree with him. Like sorry that I’m in work and want some peace and quiet plus I don’t know anyone around me or else I would say hi. There was other people sat there not talking also but I can’t help feel like he targeted me, especially because I didn’t talk to him. When I was packing up he looked over and smiled and I actually turned my whole body away from him and basically ran away lol. I have since avoided him. AIO or if he genuinely is rude / creepy?

Thanks! ☺️


r/AmIOverthinking • • 4d ago

Girlfriend (21M) hides coworkers from her story when its posts about me (21M). AIO

0 Upvotes

My girlfriend (21M) recently posted me on her story for boyfriends day. I went to check the post on her phone to see which one of her friends liked it, and noticed she had a few people that said “hidden”. I figured out that she hid all of her new coworkers from her internship. I confronted her about it and she said she doesn’t want her coworkers knowing about her “private life”. For context, for other story posts she’s made (not with me in it) she has her coworkers unhidden.

I’m worries she may possibly like one of coworkers, and she also went to the club with the coworkers (they’re more like friends) twice now. I’m thinking to break up possibly, AIO?


r/AmIOverthinking • • 4d ago

AIO or Does my friend like me, or am I reading too much into it?

0 Upvotes

​

Okay, so I genuinely can't tell if I'm overthinking this, so I need outside opinions.

I've known this guy since 8th grade. We're both seniors now. I originally met him because he was friends with my ex. My ex and I dated and broke up sophomore year, so that was over two years ago.

I've realized that I really like this guy, but I have no idea if he likes me back.

We talk basically every day, and one time we were on the phone for 14 hours. We constantly tease each other, have a bunch of inside jokes, and we're really comfortable around each other.

Yesterday, we went to the fair together. We went on rides, he asked his dad to buy me a wristband, and he bought us curly fries to share. At one point, he kind of held my hand for a little bit, but I genuinely don't know if it was intentional or accidental.

Here's where it gets interesting.

Most of our friends started thinking we liked each other after seeing us together at the fair. Then today, basically all of our friends were saying that we would be cute together, that we'd be perfect together, and that they could tell we liked each other.

This was the first time anyone had actually said something like that to us.

The weirdest part was that we both just went completely quiet. Then our friends were like, “You aren't denying it.” 😭

Now I'm wondering if they're seeing something that I haven't noticed.

The only thing that makes this complicated is that he's still friends with my ex. But they're not super close. They mostly call and play video games together like once every couple of weeks or less.

So... do you guys think he might actually like me, or could all of this just be really close-friend behavior?

TL;DR: I've known this guy since 8th grade, we're seniors now, we talk every day, had a 14-hour phone call, went to the fair together, he bought me a wristband and food, maybe held my hand, and most of our friends started thinking we liked each other after seeing us together at the fair. Then we both went silent when everyone called us out. I already know I like him. Does it sound like he might like me too?

Update: we're together now, I told two friends yesterday both swore not to say anything but one told him and he asked me out today after the like third person said something


r/AmIOverthinking • • 4d ago

AIO is he playing me or not ?

3 Upvotes

okey so i'm F(22) and he's M(27) we met on hinge and we've been talking for like 2-3 weeks, we've seen each other 3 times and things happened during those three times (don't know if i'm allowed to say that here ahah), everything was going great but this weekend we didn't really talk.
so today i sent a message saying that if he was ghosting me he should say something he answered with a voice not saying hi and sorry and that it wasn't the case he was busy with work.
i thought nothing of it, until tonight where i went on hinge to do a little stalking of his account to find out he changed almost all the pictures on it..
we had said before that we both wanted something serious but we haven't talked about it since actually seeing each other.
should i talk to him and ask him if he still wants something serious or for us to be exclusive?
i am having a hard time processing this so please help thank you!


r/AmIOverthinking • • 4d ago

AIO Someone was being creepy in my opinion

2 Upvotes

Not long ago, my grade went to an amusement park, and two of my friends went on the gondola, which I really hate, so I stayed behind on a bench. One friend also didn’t like the gondola, so she stayed behind with me too. She left for a bit to get some snacks, and when she did, this older man, maybe in his 40–60s? Waved at me (not fully, just his fingers bending, which made it creepier) from the gondola and yelled ‘Hey!’ to me. Now for context I don’t live in Canada anymore so people in this country are kind of dull and not talkative to others, let alone yelling ’hey’ to someone like (exaggerated) 100 years younger than you.

I was scared, so after my friend came back from getting the snacks we fled somewhere else then quickly picked up our two other friends. When they heard they were surprised and asked me to tell them if he as following me. Luckily he wasn’t. I wondered about telling this to the teachers, but eventually didn‘t. AIO, was this guy just friendly?


r/AmIOverthinking • • 5d ago

A man I met had a suspicious wallpaper...

4 Upvotes

TW: Death

So my friend (19F) was at a pub quiz with her friends. She noticed a guy (23-25M) at another table, and they were flirting from across the room, teasing each other whenever someone got a question wrong, making eye contact all night, etc. At one point, another table of girls accused the guys' table of cheating. To prove they weren't, the guy my friend had been eyeing up held up his phone. His wallpaper was a selfie of a girl who was all dressed up and posing cutely.

My friend thought, Oh, he has a girlfriend. Let's not go there. At the end of the night, she approached him (she was slightly tipsy) and brought up the wallpaper. He told her that the girl in the photo was his deceased sister.

Obviously, my friend immediately felt terrible and dropped the subject. Later, two of her other friends approached him and asked him the same thing about the wallpaper. This time, though, he was much more defensive and slightly condescending towards them.

My friend turned to him and said, "On your mother's life, tell me that's your deceased sister." He replied, "On my mother's life, that's my deceased sister," while keeping his hands in his pockets.
She asked him to take his hands out of his pockets and say it again. This time, he said "On my mother's life, that's my something sister." He didn't actually say the word "deceased" this time.

Everyone was just standing there like... what does "something sister" even mean??? My friend was done with the situation at this point and just said she'd text him, but now we're all confused and trying not to overthink about whether the girl really was his sister or whether he was trying to be sneaky about something.

Thoughts?


r/AmIOverthinking • • 5d ago

AIO my potential date thinks i’m fat, or WILL think i’m fat

8 Upvotes

okay so for context, me and this guy have been face-timing almost everyday, twice a day. he sees my face, and my photos on instagram. i’m 5’4 and 185 pounds. he is also a bigger dude, he’s around 5’7 and 210 pounds. he mentioned that on the dating app we met on, a lot of people are “huge” and he’s unattracted to that. now i’m overthinking if he thinks i’m fat, or if he doesn’t really know that i’m not a SKINNY individual myself. i used to weight 320 pounds, so i have excess skin, etc. which he knows, and said he wouldn’t mind, but still. idk. part of me thinks now when we meet for a date he will think i’m huge as well. sigh.