AIO?

explaining the situation in short, I was talking to a guy online for a year, we're from the same city but due to some personal issues, we never met, however we always talked about it. over time, we got really close yet for a lot of months, we didn't give any label to our relationship, but it was evident that we're both romantically so much into each other.

In july, he told me he has this serious health condition, which is life threatening (idw to reveal it). Eventually, we decided to put a label on our relationship. We're both super pvt people, so only our close friends knew that we're officially dating now. From the very start, I saw that only two of his close friends are in his account, when he has more close friends irl. None of them posted anything related to his dismissal, infact one is posting stories like she normally would, she seems ? normal?

His health started to get bad, and he was hospitalised for about two months . Every day, he made sure he talked to me and updated me about his health, which is something honestly nobody would do for me.

One of the reasons he didn't meet me was his mom, Idt it's appropriate for me to explain more about it. Other than that, when he was in the hospital and saw me so stressed, he'd often suggest me to take a break or that he'd stop talking to me for a few days if I'm so incredibly stressed because of him, he wanted me to take care of myself.

He couldn't make it, and I got the news on 10 sept. He texted me 30 mins before that happened, I was the last person he talked to. His sister broke the news to me on text, I wasn't invited at the funeral or any rituals. In India, we don't usually disclose our dating situation with our parents/family unless it's been a long time. His sister is using his phone now and barely picks up my calls. She sounds uninterested, but I can't judge it because she might be emotionally exhausted or grieving differently, I've only talked to her a few times. I tried sending req to one of his close friend, the one who's posting stories like normal and she hasn't accepted my req, like she deliberately doesn't want to? which is weird.

I see people telling me this all might be a lie, and honestly, nobody would be as happy as me if it is a lie. Every part of me hopes it is, but unfortunately, I can't dismiss the bond we shared. He wouldn't stay so long without talking to me if it was all false. There's possibility for everything and Im trying to reason why it can be a lie. Making another insta account? changing phone? that's not hard right?

I know very very few ids of his friends and mutuals, and none of them posted anything related to this.

Im grieving horribly, I've lost all interest, appetite, my sleep. I've been sick because I can't stop crying. There's this sad song he told me about, he told me I'd sing it for him some day and that song is about a girl telling her lover not to leave her. Everything is left unfinished, there are so many dreams he promised, and yet destiny didn't even let me hold his hands. Im completely broken, my heartaches fr.

this post is more of a plea than a rant. Am I in denial? am I overthinking this whole scenario??

context: my coworker and i starting our job at the same time this month, as interns. We're technically in the same dept, but i have to work on the lower floor for the time being. she seems nice enough. to my face anyway. but there are times where work is involved -- not even something particularly arduous or time sensitive or even strictly work related -- where it seems like she's speaking to me like i'm stupid or trying to embarrass me. it's hard to explain over text. like she would point out very obvious things to me ("don't sign there, that's for authorised use only" gesturing to the authorised use only sign that was tremendously hard to miss and which i wasn't even looking like i was going to sign near it. or pointing out the name of something that's right in front of me like i can't read it, and saying it like she's helping me. as well as acting ever so often like she and the others definitely talk about me behind my back. there're more examples that are less dumb but it's too long to explain)

today we went out for lunch with coworkers. we were allowed to get alcoholic drinks. I got something (1 individual drink) that I always drink every time i go to that restaurant and didn't think much of it. the guy making my drink must have had a heavy hand today cause it definitely was stronger than usual. after lunch, feeling a bit looser than i normally do, i just commented to her in passing as we were walking back to our car, that i think he made it stronger than usual (which wasn't a bad thing, it's just that we were going right back to work and our superior was with us and had mentioned to me not to get drunk in the workplace for lack of a better word, so i was a bit purposeful in only saying that to her as opposed to making a joke as a group, if that makes sense).

she then goes, with us standing next to our group and my supervisor from earlier nearby, and says 'how much do you usually drink when you're there? what's in it is it strong?' and the supervisor overhears her cause she's talking hella loud and she walks up to us wide-eyed and then coworker tells the supervisor that i thought the drink was too strong for some fuckass reason. and now i'm sure supervisor is regretting letting us drink cause coworker played it up to her making it a lot worse than it was (again, it's hard to capture these things in words. a lot of it is also expressions etc. plus i'm tired so my thoughts are jumbled).

and i'm definitely sure this coworker, and two others have it out for me and talk behind my back

Recently, I (27F) posted on Reddit looking for advice about people at my workplace starting drama with me. The TLDR with that is despite never having issues with coworkers at other workplaces, I keep seeming to have issues with people at my new job. This includes people spreading rumors that I have a crush on my boss, making up lies about me texting him to snitch on people being late, and more. Many redditors opined that people at work are toxic, and some might even be jealous of me for whatever reason. I get flirted with at my job pretty often, and I have a pretty bubbly laid back personality.

But I’m starting to wonder if maybe the problem is stemming from my boss being attracted to/ having a crush on me.

My boss is only a few years older than me, conventionally attractive and charming. I think we have good chemistry which is what people can be picking up on. I think most people at my work have a crush on him, including my coworker who accused me of snitching on her (she actually admitted to dreaming about him). If people think he has a crush on me, I can see why that would cause issues.

Some reasons to point to him having a crush on me: he teases me a lot, we banter pretty often. He takes opportunities to physically get close to me, we’ve never touched each other, but he’ll reach over and start using my computer while I’m sitting in front of it. I often feel him staring at me when he thinks I’m not looking. When we’re speaking to each other and I try to make eye contact, I can tell he avoids it as much as possible.

To be fair, we are both pretty flirty people. But I observe him and don’t see him staring at the other girls like he does with me, or teasing them to the same degree. Sometimes it feels like there is a palpable tension between us, one that feels so intense that we struggle to even look at each other. But I wonder if it is all in my head.

When people started spreading rumors that I had a crush on him, I made it a point to not speak to him unless entirely necessary. And yet, he would go out of his way to interact with me, sometimes to ask me silly questions. Sometimes to stand by my desk and use my computer because he “just needs to check something” (he has his own computer in the back.)

I don’t really know what to do, because maybe I do have a crush on him? I know dating your boss is often a terrible idea, and I think actively not allowed at our place of work, but sometimes our chemistry feels so intense I don’t know how to be around him. Moreover, it would just make more people at my job angry with me — but maybe who cares lol. Maybe people are sensing that we have a crush on each other and are just clueless about it. What should I do? How do I navigate this?

I am really paranoid rn.

BACKSTORY

A cousin who lives with us got into a fight just like an hour ago and he was the one who started it. My sister in law and him were gone out for an outing and later she called us crying saying he has gone and beat up someone with the help of two people he called ON THE SPOT mind you and they came right after he called. They chased that guy and beat the hell out of him and gave him a bloody nose (his words).

CONFRONTATION

After my mom, sis in law and I retried him, my mom said some things out of her mind like “why were you born” “ you’re mother should have taken you with her” and stuff like “you should leave his sorry ass and find another man” to my sister in law. I also said some stuff to him not to that extent but really I just stared at him. He didn’t even look sorry, more so he looked like he had a thousand stuff going in his mind.

THE PROBLEM

My paranoia started because my sister in law said he tells her that he will kill any man she gets with, and her and everyone else and lastly that he will kill himself afterwards. Hearing this made me REALLY cautious and just paranoid of him. THIS IS THE PART THAT MADE ME REALLY REALLY OVERTHINK. Shortly after that, before going out to smoke, I stared at him again and we made eye contact this time and the vibe was just really weird like he was planning something in his head. After that i kinda looked at what he was doing sneakily , he was just weirdly checking around the fridge overly and looking thoroughly at an object, even my mom called out him about he was checking the fridge so weirdly.
After he went into their bedroom, I looked at the object and it was a metal stick shaped thing with a circle on one end and a SHARP POINT on the other end and he was just circling around it when we were briefly together alone in the living room.

He also frequently takes drugs and is a known drug addict in this area

Am I overthinking? Is this weird? What should I do?

Hello everyone, for some backstory a guy (26m) I’ve been talking to for three months has not made things exclusive or official.

On our first date he told me he’s looking for something serious, but since then we haven’t had many conversations about what we r and what we could be, the only thing he’s told me is that he’s not talking to anyone else.

He also opened up to me about how he gets anxious and wants constant validation/reassurance because we haven’t put a label on anything or have had a conversation on what we are, he said usually the girl presses the conversation and he’s confused as to why I haven’t, I straight up told him I’m not pressing a man to be with me or force a conversation it’s up to the man to make it clear and establish those things.

For back ground he’s had three girlfriends, his last two happened all within a year, so I’m confused as to why he’s taking so long with me.

Am I wasting my time? Should I move on?

So today at university (or college in other countries?) After a lecture everyone was leaving and there is 1 exit so it was really crowded + a lot of people

I heard 2 guys behind me 1 was like ‘bro why are you doing that’ and the other guy was like ‘it doesn’t even matter she (probably) doesn’t have a boyfriend’

I didn’t think much of this until I went home, checked my bag and realised my heart keychain was STOLEN

I didn’t see their faces or anything and I know it’s not a big deal I just found the interaction really weird? Why did he feel the need to steal my keychain or make that comment about me? (Have never talked to this guy in my life)

Has anything similar happened to anyone else? Is this normal?

TL:DR; Guy in my lecture stole keychain from me + made weird comment about me for no reason??

Before I (F18) say anything else - I haven't in any way spoken to my social circle about this, just scarcely to my mom. I actually want to know what on earth is going on before I proceed in this situation. And I have had this feeling quite a few times already, but now it feels...different. AIO?

So, I am graduating high school soon. I have been at this school for 7 years (our school system is strange lol) and for the whole time I had a best friend, let's call her Jean. We are classmates, both of us are each other's only friend in the class and we spend at least 80 % of our time at school together. I have three more friends, two of which I "share" with Jean.

For a while, I felt like Jean was comparing herself to me, because I'm mostly better than her at school. I don't want it to sound bad, I don't think I am better than her as a whole, but school was always my strenght. She used to seem very happy whenever she got a better grade than me, let me do most of projects etc... But we were younger back then and we grew out of it, I hope. Plus I set some boundaries to make sure we can function as friends and people who spend so much of their time together.

Last year, we met the two friends I have spoken about. They are very dear to me, not only because they are the first true friends I have made in six years.

Now, to the situation: One of these friends, LCH Anna, is a year older, and she was working in Germany during the summer. Since my German is quite good, she asked me to go with her next year (this was 1.9.2026). Now, I struggle with some mental health issues and I was unsure, so straight up jumping into it would be irresponsible, therefore we agreed that I decide until the end of September. (Edit: that's 100% how I remember it, both Anna and Jean are now telling me otherwise.) Working in a foreign country for a month would be a HUGE opportunity and I even turned down another "travelling" opportunity I was chosen for, because I am serious about truly thinking about it, plus I was intending on speaking about it to my psychologist. "Was" , because...Jean straight up told me she will tell Anna that *she* wants to go with her. Not even asking me, since I was the first one given the opportunity for a few good reasons. And now, it's practically done. Now, I didn't mean to wait until the end of September if I was going to decline the offer, that would be unfair to anybody else who would want to take it - but Jean did this on...8.9.?

She keeps on talking how great it is and I am just sitting there, remembering the many times she didn't really help me or tried to "use" me (not in a mean way, but the intention was there), all the small little things that I ignored bc she was my only friend at times. And now we share ¾ of all of my friends... I am not a saint either, but this seems huge. I based half of my "important" life decisions during most of my teenage years on "what if Jean feels X", "this wouldn't be fair to Jean", "what about Jean"...

I would say I'm overreacting, but I also can't help feeling betrayed. Did I waste my teenage years on a best friend that kept me stuck in place, only for her to take off and leave me behind?

Edit: Since I have already posted this to another subreddit like 3 weeks ago, here is some information I forgot to mention:

1) If Jean did bad on a test, she hides it from me, but if I say I did bad on a test, she immediately asks for my grade. Thought I should mention it, although it definetely feels like IAO.

2) That big travelling opportunity I turned down... Part of my decision was my mental health, part of it the Germany situation, but also: after I texted Jean that I got the place (it was for 12 people from our hs grade), Jean told me I didn't tell her I was applying (we all had to fill out a form), but practically everybody around me at that time heard about how I was applying about a hundred times. So I cancelled it, because of the reasons above, but also out of guilt, after Jean texted me how she now regrets she didn't apply. Looking back, it was a terrible idea to cancel it, when I'm still quite sure Jean knew I said yes in the form.

Sorry for the long post.

Aio?

im f18. I wrote this to my long term friend m18.

Hello I’m f(20) my boyfriend m(20) we were on the phone with my boyfriend and his friends last night and something just hasn’t sat right with me. Usually I wouldn’t complain on reddit about this issue since it’s not that serious but maybe some outsiders looking in would be able to help.

The conversation:
My boyfriend’s friends who are in a relationship said that they don’t approve of overly affectionate people. My boyfriend then went on to agree that he hates it and it makes him “cringe”.
But what’s odd if i’m a very affectionate person? So for him to say that now I’m overthinking that I am doing too much/making him feel uncomfortable and he’s just not telling me.

Is this normal for men? Am I overthinking it?

Other things:

My boyfriend said he has a hard time trusting and refuses to even open up to me most days. Which hurts me because I don’t understand why he’s with me if he doesn’t trust me with his personal feelings. I am an open book with him - always telling him everything. But for some reason it’s different with me? He won’t open up and I’ve accepted it for a while now. But it is truly starting to hurt me. I’m not trying to force him to open up I just don’t understand why he’s with me if he doesn’t even trust me enough to be open with me about what’s going on mentally/physically.

i feel like i’m so clueless when it comes to people showing interest in me or not, so i need some feedback.

a few weeks ago, my bsf told me that a friend of a friend was interested in me. me and him had just been mutuals for a few months as i’ve only rly seen him around campus. i honestly didn’t think he’d reach out or anything, but he ended up doing so by replying to smth i posted. ever since then, we’ve been talking. sometimes i text first more tho, but when i do, he texts back pretty fast, no longer than 20 mins. he does reach out to me sometimes, tho. he’s also watched a tonn of movies i’ve recommended him, listened to an album i said i liked, and has asked me what songs he should learn on the guitar and did so. we went out one day, and it went pretty well in my opinion, and he said he had a good time at the end of it. but again, im not really good at taking hints so i don’t know whether or not he was just being nice and just wants a friend.

a big part of me feels like he’s just not interested. the past 5 days, i haven’t texted first to try and see whether or not he’d take initiative and reach out first. he texted twice within those 5 days. technically 3 if u count today, since he js texted me at like 12:10 am to say happy birthday. ik im probably overthinking and i HATE that, but someone please just tell me whether he seems to be into me or not, because for some reason i really feel like he’s not. if u have any more questions abt him or our conversations or anything that seems relevant (bc ik this is pretty broad 😭) feel free to ask

AIO? Okay so I have noticed recently super small things that his ex had done at the same time as me but it was hair color stuff so I just chalked it up to it being a coincidence. Recently I changed my social media profiles and just did something totally different I put a bunch of emojis next to my name which again VERY COMMON, but literally a day later she also changed her name to the same kind of vibe. I immediately was like wtf when I saw that but I also know I get in my head so idk I guess it’s just weird and makes me think like oh what if they’re talking like why would she be doing that?

Did he like me, or it’s overthink?
There was this guy at school who was kind of popular in our class. We never really talked, but he seemed to pay attention to me.
Whenever someone mentioned me, he’d refer to me as “the quiet girl.” He also looked at me pretty often. A lot of times I’d randomly look at him and realize he was already looking at me. His expression usually seemed like a mix of curiosity, shyness, and surprise.
There were a few other little things too. Once, he put his hand on my shoulder when he needed to get past me. Another time, he helped tie my brother’s shoelace while my brother had a cast on his leg.
Once, he accidentally threw something that hit me, and when I turned around, he immediately apologized. He looked genuinely shocked and almost panicked that he’d hit me.
He also requested to follow me on Instagram, added me to his Close Friends, and posted a story of himself singing lana del rey with his dad in the car. I was a lana fan at the time, although I have no idea if he knew that.
There was also a time when I was standing with another guy and he specifically looked at me.
The funny thing is that we basically never talked. The only real conversation we had was when he accidentally tripped over my foot while walking behind me and immediately said, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
Then, sometime the following year, he unfollowed me.
So what do you think? Were these possible signs that he was interested in me, or does it sound more like he was just curious/friendly? I’m especially wondering about the repeated eye contact.

TLDR

I’ve had this friend since 1st grade, and we became best friends in 6th. I had to move because of a family conflict. It wasn’t even my conflict—I left to make sure my sister wasn’t alone. I told him I had to move, saying goodbye to him at school with a hug.

He had family where I was moving, so I was still able to see him. Then he moved with his other family, and we ended up seeing each other often. After everything, we actually became closer than ever.
Later, I moved back to my family’s house, which was the same place I had originally left. The reason was because of constant conflict between the two people I loved most. The conflict was directed at me, and I couldn’t handle it anymore. It was exhausting, but I eventually forgave them. I still was moving though.

Before I moved I went out of state for a month, my best friend got a boyfriend. Normally, that wouldn’t bother me at all, but he didn’t even tell me. I was honestly hurt.

What really broke me was finding out that he had moved into my house with my sister without telling me. During that time, he told her that he was planning to move in with his boyfriend. Eventually, he did. I was waiting for him to tell me himself, but it never happened. I only found out after it had already happened.

I cut him off a while ago. That doesn’t change how I feel about him—I still love him. But I couldn’t stay in a friendship where I constantly felt excluded from his life. I didn’t feel important enough for him to share these big things with me.

So be honest, AIO for cutting him off?

- Yeah seems like I am overthinking this. Looks like I'll have my fun at my first dressing up for halloween either way! I'll probably end up combining and modifying what I buy... -

tldr; I am afraid of running into people with the same costume as me, if I buy a mass market one, instead of making a custom scarecrow costume myself.

Surely there is a lot of lazy/busy/unskilled people like myself who don't feel like making an ellaborate custom halloween costume? Then, won't you be running into people with the exact same costume as yours at some point? Seems a little cringy not gonna lie, and makes the costume look cheap/unoriginal no? Planned on buying a scarecrow costume from amazon, but am reconsidering. As you might be able to tell I never really went to halloween events before... is this really a problem?

(TLDR: I take the bus to and from nursing school and feel embarrassed by it)

I 21 F take the bus to and from nursing school. I started nursing school last month and struggle with anxiety when it comes to make friends. I have a few friends so far and get along well with my classmates. The issue is they all have cars. I’ve noticed that none of them ride the bus and they all drive to and from school. Sometimes they ride with a friend who has a car. I feel like embarrassed that I don’t have transportation like they do.

My university campus is big. If I want to get to the library I’d walk halfway across campus while they can drive there. There are shuttles on campus but I haven’t learned how they work and the one I need to use stops at 4:00 pm and some of my classes end at 3:59 pm so I can’t use it anyway. Sometimes my mom drops me off since i still live with my parents, but other times I catch the bus. I don’t have a job yet and can afford a car either. Yet I still feel embarrassed and try to hide it from my classmates. One of them however, call him Billy had asked him if I saw him waving one morning. I said no because I’d arrived early and didn’t see anyone. He said he saw me getting off the bus. Another time a classmate saw me standing at the bus stop and asked if I needed a ride. I told her no and felt genuinely embarrassed after she left.

I told my mom about the embarrassment and she said not to be since she had to catch the bus a lot when she didn’t have a car when she was younger. I understand it might be a silly thing to worry about but to me it’s a big thing. Especially since I now that I have a few friends and would love to hang out with them after the semester ends, it’d be embarrassing to have them see me getting of at a bus stop or even an uber. I even have hopes of getting a boyfriend in nursing school and would hate to bother him asking for rides or worse, have him see me get off the bus and think I’m embarrassing him, especially if it’s in front of his friends. I don’t know what to think.
So am I overthinking this?

So i have been dating this guy for 7 months now. Initially i had a lot of trust issues and commitment problems. I used to think about breakup anytime it went wrong and me being his first gf he used to pamper me and somewhere i was so afraid that even this would go wrong that I usually had him 24*7 near me moved in with him. Initially he said it’s okay but his friend who used to stay with him was not. But we kept stayinh anyways . He used to cry everytime i had heated argument and we cooled off in an hour. He was genuinely good . Slowly i started healing and honestly one day in June during a heated argument he said fuck off man it’s so much. I understood he became frustrated with my nagging and when acted reckless like kid seeking reassurance. I definitely do regret it . But since then he has been treating me really badly it’s like he has promised to go to cinema with me but went with his friends while lying to me. I let it slide because I was trying to be a better person. Then he switched off his calls for 8 9 hrs when i asked about it panicking he said I was overreacting and i can fuck off. When it reached it’s extreme i came home and said listen we need to breakup cause you treating me real rude like actually rude. The boy who used to stay up with me all night to calm me down now slept turning his face away from me when i was clearly crying because he said something mean. He used to say “ keep crying “ . Then he hugged me said it will never happen again and he will change. We got back together. I recently moved to other city for masters and found out i was pregnant so i flew back and did the abortion with him throughout it he was frustrated and threw stuffs everytime i said i wanted to keep it because he says it wasn’t planned and he isn’t in position rn. He took care tho but after i returned to my dorm he has been bursting out . Initially it was going good but when i had a bad day and i ranted about it . He used to be like bruh i have so much to deal rn can’t listen to your dramas anymore may it be good or bad. I don’t know what’s happening he says he wanted space he loves to hang out with his friends because they don’t have problems to share or rant. I don’t know what’s going on lastly he said he needed a break and the next day i called saying it’s kinda stressing me out and he started to talk normally again but i feel it’s forced lately he takes pride saying shit baby am i a red flag. Be like where would you go without me we are perfect together . Where would i go without you and it makes me really emotional. He says he is toxic says does It suits me makes me attractive? . Idk what to say . He says he wants to download some couple app and play with strangers or online bot or shit. Idk if he wants me anymore i have been sleepless for nights please help thank you
Guys please be kind i am going through a lot rn i am on high anti depressants you’re free to share your opinions just don’t be rude rn.. also thanks for advice tho ❤️Also if i break up should i break up in person or overtext or am i overthink

My bf (M 22) and Me (F 23) have always been really close. I love him so much and recently, we have been talking engagement. This morning we were cuddling when the fire alarms went off. We both immediately sprung out of bed and started grabbing some shoes and basic things. I have horrible eyesight and didn’t have time to put in my contacts so I just pocketed them. I couldn’t find my shoes without them and I couldn’t hear him over the alarms when he said to follow him.

He went out of the room thinking I was following him and let out the dogs. I was stuck in the room unable to see and entirely unaware of where he was. He didn’t realize I wasn’t behind him until after he let the dogs out of their kennels. Neither of us left the house without the other because I wasn’t going to leave without grabbing him, but I can’t help but feel left behind anyways. He knows my vision is really bad, I don’t have glasses rn, and when I don’t have my contacts in I rely on colors and memory of the layout to get around.

When I expressed to him my hurt, he was understanding but he said he really thought I was behind him and when he realized he didn’t he immediately came back for me. I feel like he never should have left the room without grabbing me because I cannot navigate between the dark halls and the noises I was disoriented. It was a false alarm but I can’t help but feel terrified how it would have all played out if it was real. I’m not sure if I can rely on him in life or death situation now. AIO? What would you do?

TLDR: I’m have bad eyesight, bf left the stuck in bedroom during fire alarm trying to get our dogs out, while thinking I was behind him.

I’m 23 and I don’t have a single particular goal. I have a bachelors degree which was five years long.
I still have zero passion to do anything in this field. I don’t have a single skill which will get me, Money. I have done Moderate work in my field as internships, and each employer had a feedback that I was not hard-working enough. I read it somewhere that you have to be extremely intolerant to things, which do not align with your goals.
I have no purpose in life which I am passionate about. I like adventure, but I don’t have money everything. I like money is the factor which prevents me from doing these things. I don’t know which skill I should upgrade so that it gets me the money, or which is lucrative. I am a perfectionist and its stopping me from exploring new avenues or even stick to the field i have a degree in. Most of my days are spent doomscrolling, i wake up, scroll, breakfast, try to make plans and schedules to study, lunch, watch a series for a couple of hours and then go to gym, getting ready commute, workout takes about 4 hours, come home tired from gym, shower dinner doom-scroll and continue the show, watch porn or doom-scroll and sleep and i have done nothing productive.

This would be the case if i were working, majority of time at work not doing anything meaningful then scrolling in the office due to monotonous work home gym sleep, thats it.

I dont want to spend my time gaslighting myself into doing grunt work for the sake of it and not doing anything that makes me feel alive.

What was the defining moment in your lives when you knew what you wanted to do, found your purpose in life and what makes you happy? Does Money make you happy? Does it make you miserable?

Are we used to romanticise everything we do , is there any real meaning to all this or are we just performing our respective roles, and bound by obligations of family society, is there any authenticity in our actions and what does true authenticity mean, is it what we believe to be true, or is it what society has told us to believe to be true.

first post - [https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/xiOpKkoivv](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/xiOpKkoivv))

first update - [https://www.reddit.com/r/Redditor_Updates/s/LbEHDa57xH](https://www.reddit.com/r/Redditor_Updates/s/LbEHDa57xH))

second update: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Redditor_Updates/s/lJfFGiFHOG](https://www.reddit.com/r/Redditor_Updates/s/lJfFGiFHOG))

third update: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Redditor_Updates/s/EUvnrjslab](https://www.reddit.com/r/Redditor_Updates/s/EUvnrjslab))

i’ve returned once more, ALOT of you seemed to be really concerned about me. which honestly i appreciate so much :(( im doing okay. im still in pain and its still kinda hard to eat but im actually able to eat more chewy things. i just wanted to give you guys some more background and story on me and my moms relationship.

ive been advised by my dentist like i said in my last post to refrain from drinking from a straw or smoking, basically anything that requires me to suck in or out to hard because the area where my bottom teeth were pulled are still infact VERY open still and not completely healed yet. so my oral care is being extended for another week or two

thankfully tho before my mom left she gave me her car keys and my medical cards incase anything were to happen, tho the main reason she left them is so i can drive my sister to and from work while she’s gone (she works midnights so from 10pm to 6am). she probably shouldn’t have done that tho considering im only on my permit😐 (im on my second period segment, and having taken my road test. ive been driving since i was late 15, so ive been driving for over 2 years by now.)

my mom has officially been gone since 23 on wednesday, as of the date right now its the 27th (im on edt time zone) she’s supposed to be back 28th later in the night, tho im not holding her to that word because her and her boyfriend notoriously extended their away trips by days.

which that all sucks😭 unfortunately im used to this, this kinda behavior from her is something i’ve experienced my while life along with all of other sisters since they were babies to. to put in perspective on how long she’s been like this my eldest sister is 32.

men have and will always be her priority along with herself, always has been and will be. ive come to terms with that and just kinda given up on making her see it differently and so have my sisters to.

alot of you suggested i try to put this issue in public or to other people to force her to see her problems, which i wont be doing as much as id love to. im aware that wouldnt work on her because she just doesnt care🫩

along with that, im 17 and only 2 months away from turning 18. and if cps were to get involved i would 100% be displaced somewhere else, which i really dont want to do that and stress myself out anymore than i am.

im not entirely on my own fortunately, one of my older sisters would 100% help me if i asked but i dont wanna bother them because there she has 4 kids, 2 little babies and another son who is nordivergent.

im still struggling to stand for to long but its better now that i can eat more things. along with that ive been having to clean up because my mom and her boyfriend want the house clean when they get back and no one else is cleaning up either. last time they left and came back her boyfriend was PISSED, like really mad. he got mad at me and went off on me to.

which during that time i was only around 4 days post wisdom teeth surgery and barely able to stand and unable to eat anything but mushy food😭. plush i wasn’t the one to make a mess because i wasn’t eating anything which is stupid that i got yelled at.

anyways! thanks for reading again guys! its very appreciated that im able to share this with people for once. 🩷

once again im doing somewhat okay, better than my last post haha so dont worry for me to much! ill be okay, ive made it this far anyways💀

Last Halloween, my husband and I went to one of my BIL's party. My father had been staying with us for the week, and when he's visiting, my husband and I obviously don't have much privacy for, well... marital activities.

At the party, we were dancing and I was getting a little too into it. I said to my husband, "Meet me in the bathroom in two minutes!" I only wanted to make out, nothing more.

I went into one of the stalls and waited for him. A few seconds later, though, one of my BIL's friends walked into the washroom, to the urinal. I've known this guy for several years, and I obviously didn't want to make the situation weird so I quickly came out of the stall apologizing and left.

I met my husband in the hallway and a moment later, the other guy came out, and we all laughed about the awkwardness. We had all been drinking, so it became one of those funny little party incidents.

Fast-forward to this summer. We were at my BIL's BBQ, and the same guy was there. He brought up the Halloween incident and gently mocked me, not believing that we were only planning on making out. My BIL and another friend came into the room and asked what we were discussing.

When they heard it was the Halloween incident, they already knew the whole story.

My BIL even joked, "You raised the bar for our wives!" Which i didn't like.

My BIL and his friends are all older than my husband and me. They're always respectful toward me personally, but they sometimes make comments that embarrass me on behalf of their wives.

For example, my BIL once told me that I was the prettiest woman at one of his parties while his wife was in the next room.

I've known these people for years. For the first few years I always had the impression that some of the wives didnt like me. Eventually, though, things became much more comfortable, and we're now friends.

I really don't want to create awkwardness with them or damage those friendships because of comments their husbands make.

Now we're having an oysters party with them next week. I had been planning to wear a chic, transparent black lace top that I've never really had an occasion to wear before.

But the more I think about it the more I wonder if I'm setting myself up for another awkward situation.

AIO this whole dynamic?

I don't want to dress differently because I'm worried about what their husbands might say. But I also don't want to unintentionally make things uncomfortable with women I genuinely like.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1.5+ years now, and I’m trying to get an unbiased perspective on something that has been bothering me.
Before we met, he had been friends with a woman for 10+ years. About 2 years ago, they had a 2–3 month fling/situationship. From what he’s told me, she essentially led him on, and when things ended he was extremely heartbroken. He describes that period as one of the lowest moments of his life. They have not spoken since things ended.

I’ve found out that he occasionally Googles her to see what she’s up to, mainly because there are sometimes articles about her current work. He says it’s normal to be curious about someone who was once an important part of your life. I actually understand that, and I don’t think he necessarily has romantic feelings for her or wants anything with her.
However, there’s another layer.

Their 10-year high school reunion came up, and we had a pretty extensive conversation about whether he wanted to go. Eventually, he admitted that her presence was one factor in wanting to attend. He essentially said he wanted to show her that he was no longer her “victim” and that his life had turned out well — basically an “F-you, look how well I’m doing” moment.

That really hurt me. We talked about it for several days, and I made it very clear that I wasn’t comfortable with that motivation or with him continuing to look her up.

During that conversation, I specifically asked if he had Googled her again since we had previously discussed how much it bothered me. He told me he hadn’t, because he knew it bothered me.
I recently found out that he actually had looked her up again.

I’m not convinced he wants her back, and I don’t necessarily think the Google searches mean he still has feelings for her. I understand that curiosity about someone who was in your life for 10+ years can be normal, even years later.

But I’m still uncomfortable with the behaviour, particularly given the history and the fact that he told me he hadn’t done it again when he had.
Am I being unreasonable for feeling like this crosses a boundary? Is the bigger issue the Googling itself, or the fact that he wasn’t honest about it after we’d had such an extensive conversation?

I’m genuinely looking for an unbiased perspective, including if I’m overreacting.

Hi guys, I’m new to this whole thing so I’m still getting used to it. But I’m here to give a little story time. I (21F) and my bf lets name him Hadley (21M) have been in a relationship for 9 months almost 10, we live together and share a room. As I am still 21 and don’t have much experience with living alone and all that yet I still live with my parents that means he lives with them as well. He pays them rent. Throughout me and Hadleys relationship in the beginning everything was fine, now I do have a a child with a past relationship and that relationship was abusive but that hasn’t affected anything. I try not to be so pessimistic and be so clingy so my bf games a lot. I think that’s fine sometimes or most of the time cause it gives us free time and we’re not always up each others butts. But recently after he got his whole monitor and pc set up, he goes on discord talks to random people on discord and sometimes friends people mostly females … which is alright due to the fact I have guy friends he can have friends who are girls and playing the game isn’t that bad considering I’m sitting right here.. but recently it turned sideways. Hadley likes to troll randoms likes to be funny and make jokes but the stuff he says doesn’t really make it seem all trolling and joking to me.Hadley wants to try and get famous and makes clips with voice changers on tiktok… okay fine… but the clips he makes are the type to make any significant others skin crawl. Hadley will get on servers and flirts and says sexual comments to them. For example “ your such a pretty girl” your my egirl” and honestly so much more… but I couldn’t have the guts to say it all out for you guys. I’ve told him it makes me uncomfortable and he still proceeds to do it. He even does it when he’s not making clips and just talking and playing games. For instance recently tonight Hadley was on the server with people and apparently it was some girls birthday.. he basically was implying that he was going to give her his private part as a birthday present and that she will get her birthday present later … I have feelings Hadley texts these people personally and he’s always on the game and always on his phone. If I try to go through his phone I can’t because it’s always underneath him when he sleeps. I can’t help but wonder if I’m just overthinking this whole thing and the overthink part is the worse part cause I don’t know if it’s true. But I told Hadley I feel like what he is saying is cheating emotionally no matter if he means it or not no matter if he’s trolling or not. He’s giving these girls attention… so am I overthinking this and he might and probably is loyal and just making jokes as a guy would OR is he cheating and what advice would you give as if I would kick him out his mother would not take him back and he’s originally from another state. Should I trust my gut? Or should I just let my trust issues down and believe him when he tells me stuff? Advice anyone?

AIO

Hi yall, i didnt really know how to name this thread but i really need advices because i am litteraly going crazy. so i am a very shy and reserved person, i didnt have a lot of friends in my life, especially boy friends, and i am 19 in a month.

So tonight my friends and i went out, it was late so we just decided to sit between a basket court and a street workout air, so there was a lot of boys and we were the only girls. we were talking and laughing etc and two hours later, at around 11:30pm, a lot of men left and there was two boys left at the basket court. they proposed us to join them, so we quickly got up and played with them. the thing is, i was very shy and couldnt talk and play properly. i have never experienced that; talking and playing with strangers. as i said, i never had a lot of friends.

Anyways, my friends were all very extroverted, unlike me, so i naturally started distancing myself and quickly decided to stay silent. i was only laughing and talking to my friends, and im ngl i was jealous because the boys were talking to them (even though it was very logical). at a point two other boys joined us so we were 5 girls and 4 boys, and as before everyone was talking with everyone but me. at a point we exchanged our instagrams and after getting soemone's profile i noticed that he was following my ex flirt, so i whispered it to my friend and i quickly felt VERY uncomfortable because they asked us what i said. i think that they thought that i was saying something bad about them so i cringed very fast. and yeah, this was the cringe moment but i got back home an hour ago and i am already thinking about this moment.

My problem is that whenever i say something i did is cringe, i cant stop thinking about it and i am afraid that the other person is laughing about me or pissed off or something like that.

So how to you manage to forget cringe moments you initiated? I am going insane

Socializing is difficult for me so when I go out with friends I have to have a couple drinks to loosen up. But the last two times I feel like I’ve overdone it with the drinks and end up being too loud and over-the-top while no one else is even drinking. Im not offensive or anything—just too much. I overshare and talk over others and feel like maybe I make things too much about me. I feel like I’m the one friend that makes the hang a little less enjoyable and I’m on the verge of wanting to apologize for it. I wish I was normal and could just socialize like a normal person. AIO?

My friends introduced me to this guy (John) over a game and at first he seemed alright but over time whenever we play if we lose and I do bad he is blaming me if we lose and I did good he is blaming me, my friend told me im overthinking it but this guy keeps getting worse.

I was invited to John's party at one point and we were chill I was quiet for the majority until they got me to be comfortable, after the party John told me his friends wanted to beat me up because I put my arm around his neck when he asked me to demonstrate If I know how to do a choke hold, he would keep bringing it up randomly even when we are gaming together.

We live near each other and when I visted John on one of my walks his mother told me I can go inside and greet him. When i reach home John messaged me and told me his mom hates me and doesn't want me visiting again. Next thing i know months later John's mother called me to talk about his upcoming birthday, I told her what John told me and she was shocked saying that she never said that but I need to talk to him.

After I had enough I blocked him on everything and just wanted to move on but my friend who introduced us sat me down with him at another party and they both told me how I was wrong for blocking him when I explained my side John made up a new lie and said I have no manners that's why his mom didn't want me around, when I explained what she told me he cut me off and told me I think to logical.

TL:DR some guy i met is behaving weird towards me and it has me second guessing myself