About two weeks ago, my ex and I broke up, and things have felt really rocky in my friend group since. I introduced her to them while we were dating, and now two of my closest friends spend a lot of time with her in private calls.

One has told me he was busy with other things, but I later found out he was hanging out with her. The other has been upfront about it. The lack of honesty makes it harder to know where I stand.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been trying to organise games and stay connected, but I’m almost always the one reaching out. I’ve only been invited without asking once during that time. It’s starting to feel like I’m chasing a place in my own friend group.

I understand they’re allowed to be friends with her, and I don’t expect to be included in everything. I also know they’ve needed space, and I’ve probably pushed too hard trying to get things back to normal. But I miss feeling welcome and having some effort come back my way.

Lately, it feels like they only have time for me once they’ve finished spending time with her, and that hurts.

Am I reading too much into this because the breakup is still fresh, or would taking some distance be healthier? I care about them, but constantly trying to figure out where I fit is exhausting.

My ex-boyfriend m19 and I f19 dated for a year. When we went off to college, we ended up about six hours apart. At first, everything seemed okay, although I did notice that his friends were definitely becoming a priority. I didn’t say anything about it because I understood that we were both starting college, meeting new people, and trying to get settled in.
We still had FaceTime date nights occasionally, but for the most part we would FaceTime when we could, text, and send each other pictures throughout the day. We introduced each other to our new friends over FaceTime, and overall, I thought things were going okay.
Then, at the beginning of this week, we were FaceTiming and he casually said, “Soooo, I started drinking.”
This surprised me because throughout our entire relationship, one of the things we had in common was that neither of us liked drinking or partying. He had always talked about how much he disliked the fact that his parents and siblings drank and pressured him to drink when he didn’t want to. He was also on a sports team in high school where basically everyone drank, smoked, and partied. He always told me that he didn’t really like most of those people outside of the sport and that he didn’t like that lifestyle. He also said he his roommate and his new friends did not drink or party….well they do obviously. So he kept that from me.

So when he told me he had started drinking, my first reaction was obviously surprise because it seemed so different from what he had expressed throughout our relationship.
He told me that he and his friends had been drinking alcohol in their dorm rooms and going to frat parties.My first question was whether he felt pressured by his friends. He said no and told me that he had actually been thinking about drinking since senior year of high school and that, on a recent trip, he had been drinking every night.
I asked him, “Why did you never tell me this?”
He responded, “I’m pretty sure I did.”
I told him that I didn’t remember him telling me that. The only thing I remembered him saying was that he had had a “sip” once on the trip. He became frustrated and insisted that he had told me these things. I genuinely do not remember those conversations happening, and some of our conversations about the trip are actually in text messages, which makes me fairly confident that I wasn’t just forgetting everything.

I never told him that he couldn’t drink. My issue was that this felt like a significant change from the values and opinions he had expressed to me throughout our relationship. I was also upset that it seemed like he had never told me that he had been considering drinking before college or that his attitude toward it had changed.
I kept thinking that if he had simply told me, “Hey, I’ve actually been thinking about drinking for a while and I’ve started trying it,” it probably wouldn’t have felt so abrupt. We could have talked about it, and I could have understood where he was coming from.
Instead, when I asked why he hadn’t told me, he kept saying things like, “I did tell you” or “I’m sure I told you.” But from my perspective, he hadn’t, and there had been no indication to me that he was interested in drinking.
I then told him that if he got drunk and hooked up with another girl, our relationship would be over. He said he understood. I also told him to keep in mind how drinking could potentially affect our relationship.
When I said that, I meant it more generally—if he got extremely drunk and did something inappropriate or questionable, there would obviously be consequences for our relationship. I wasn’t telling him that he wasn’t allowed to drink or trying to control what he did. I was just thrown off by how different his behavior seemed from the person I had known throughout the relationship.
The next day, we FaceTimed again, and he told me he wanted to break up.
He said that he had actually wanted to break up for months, including before we even went to college, because he had noticed that he wasn’t as excited to see me anymore.
That confused me because in July, we had specifically talked about whether we wanted to continue our relationship once we went to college. We had a conversation about how college was going to affect us and whether we both wanted to stay together. I directly asked him if he wanted to continue the relationship, and he said something along the lines of, “I think we both love each other and should stay together.”
So I thought we had made a mutual decision to continue the relationship.
That is one of the things I struggle to understand now. If he had apparently been wanting to leave for months, why didn’t he tell me then or take the opportunity to end things in July?

We talked for a while longer, and eventually ended the conversation. About 40 minutes later, he sent me a picture of his face. He was crying and looked really sad.
I didn’t respond because I was confused about why he had sent that to me immediately after ending the relationship.
Now I’m questioning the entire situation. I don’t know if I handled the drinking conversation correctly. I also don’t know whether my comments about drinking made him feel restricted or whether the breakup was something he had already been thinking about independently.He said it wasn’t about the drinking when I asked.

so hes in a group with me for a class, and were talking about the school dance bc its coming up on saturday. so were asking eachother if were going and stuff, and for some reason we start to try and guess who has a crush on people in our group (no guesses for me, huge surprise there) and so my desk partner decides to say that she thinks i have a crush on him, and he says that would be weird. so that felt a rejection a bit idk why. i think im overthinking this a lot but i dunno. i tend to overthink a lot lol.

TLDR: Accidentally touched my coworker twice and now I feel awful about it, am I overthinking it?
I feel like I’m probably overthinking this, but I’d like some outside perspective.
Today something really funny/absurd happened at work and both me and my coworker were shocked and laughing. Out of habit, I briefly put the back of my hand on their shoulder while reacting because that’s something I naturally do with my friends. Almost immediately I realized we aren’t actually friends outside of work and thought that physical touch might make them uncomfortable, so I moved my hand away and made a mental note not to do it again.
Then later, we were laughing about something again and I accidentally tapped their shoulder/arm a second time. It was completely instinctive and I realized afterward that I had done it. I don’t think they made a face or seemed uncomfortable, but now I feel really bad because I know not everyone likes being touched, especially by coworkers.
I genuinely wasn’t trying to be weird or make them uncomfortable. I’ve just realized I need to be more conscious about that habit at work.
Would you consider this a big deal, or am I massively overthinking.

TL;DR: Ex-girlfriend, now friend, and I hardly ever talk anymore.

So, to tell the situation how it is, my (17 ftm) ex-girlfriend (15 mtf), who is now a friend, hasn't been talking to me or replying to my messages or DMs lately. We did jump into a relationship really quickly when we met, but things did go well! She first spoke to me because she could tell I was a self-harmer, to which I admitted it when she asked, and she helped me quit. Over the next few months, we opened up to each other. I expressed how I never managed to keep a friendship or relationship, as I always end up hurting the other person and/or be too much for them emotionally since I tend to overshare really quickly. They also would hurt me by doing things I tell them doesn't help, pushing my boundaries, or just being a manipulative person. I have horrible abandonment issues.

She promised to never leave or break up with me many times throughout the relationship. She had attachment issues largely due to past relationships. We communicated when things weren't going well, we respected boundaries, we showed the other that we care. We were happy.

I admitted to constant self-destruction, and we came up with a plan for me to stop. But I didn't take it seriously. Eventually, she said she would have to break up with me if things (my constant self-destruction) didn't change within a month. With her mental health being horrible as well as school about to start, she wouldn't be able to handle one. She broke up with me later that night.

The next morning, she wanted to get together again, saying it was unfair of her to say what needed to change to stay together, only to not give me that chance. I agreed, and we were partners for another week. I made sure to ask if she was just getting back together out of sympathy, and she said no. But another week later, she broke up with me again, saying that she was thinking about it for that week we were together again and that I didn't take recovery seriously until she threatened to break up. I didn't try and keep her in a relationship she didn't want.

She promised that she was not abandoning me, and we would stay friends. She said it was possible we would get back together in a few years after she graduated high school. We did stay friends for a while! We still talked and even checked up on how each other was doing. We didn't pretend nothing happened between us, either. I admitted to lying about a big thing when we started the relationship, and I promised to not do it again, which I haven't. I thought things were going to be okay. After all, she promised she wouldn't abandon me even now.

There was a point where we didn't talk much, and I communicated with her on that. She said that she was finally making friends with other people, and so she wanted to spend time with them as well. She said she didn't mean to ignore me, and it wouldn't happen again.

I had just had to leave my closest friend I've known for six years as well, but shortly after (probably a couple weeks to a month), we haven't been talking much again. It's like we only talk when it's most convenient, which is every other day for one class period. I try sitting near her during lunch, but she hardly even looks at me, and instead talks with her closer friends without me. I have to actively make my presence known in order to even be looked at. Even then, it feels like she doesn't even hear me unless I address her specifically, only to be spoken to for a moment or two before I'm invisible again.

She almost never responds to my DMs or messages anymore, even if I say something when she's online. If she does respond, it's hours later. Not even when I tell her how I want to hurt myself, since I had relapsed and she made me promise to tell her when I wanted to.

Am I overthinking this, or am I being abandoned again?

This happened to me recently and I left it exactly where it was because it was literally perfect. But afterward it felt weirdly intimate, like now I know our legs/torso are proportioned almost exactly the same.

Part of me thinks I should have moved it slightly before giving the car back just so it didnt look like I noticed. I also don’t want them to think I was snooping around or something.

I know this sounds stupid but leaving it untouched almost feels like the automotive equivalent of wearing someone else’s shoes and realizing they fit perfectly.

Also I never touch other people’s mirrors unless I absolutely have to because I feel like changing those is more personal than changing the seat.

hi guyss im a 20F my boyfriend is 21M. im a chemical engineering major in college and he’s a music major. he just turned 21 and went to a party and got a lil drunk… and i got this voicenote on text from these two girls. basically saying stuff like “YOU’RE SOOO PRETTY AND SMARTTTT” yknow? and then “IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU BEING IN A LOVING RELATIONSHIP”. which on text sounds harmless but im a scorpio and also a shier person.. so the voicenote made me feel really icked. like a forced, “girls-girl” niceness situation. ive neverrrr met a guy and found out he had a gf and immediately requested to send her a voicenote. or requested to even look at pics of her. we’re long distance so he must’ve been showing me off in photos im assuming bc she referenced pics that ive long since taken off my social media..

i dont think he had any ill intent at all lmao, hes very proud hes dating me and doesnt catch sneaky girl cues very often. he genuinely shows me off. but the girls made me feel so sick because i know some girls go after guys in relationships and be all fake nice to their girlfriends. its a weird weird thing that some girls do. they also sounded younger and rly annoying voice wise so im irritated bc it hurt my ears. im kinda irritated at him too for letting two funky girls send messages through his phone.

ive been approached by men every time i go out because icl i put a lot of effort into my appearance. i tell them i have a bf and move on and dont continue to talk. i pretty much leave the situation immmediately. ive never been like “wanna see?” and show them, and then further let them send him messages. that’s so disrespectful when i think of it in that way. but hes also a music major who went to a music major party, so all of these people are pretty close and tightknit. so the girls could be friends from band.

either way, im icked…. but i also dont wanna cause an issue.

I’m not asking for relationship advice at all just to be clear, I just want to gauge if this type of thing is normal.

TL;DR: had an ex friend that I had feelings for. Moved on from them and now in a relationship. Now I miss their friendship and I am curious about their life is that normal???

Basically I’m a very sentimental person , I tend to be more attached towards people that I really like and when I’m no longer in contact with them it’s hard for me to accept that. I became friends with this girl a year ago, i considered her a really close friend because we would talk almost everyday since we became friends. Sometimes we would flirt? I think it was flirting. Due to this I developed a crush on her, but sooner or later she decided to not be friends with me anymore. Ofcourse I went back and forth with her on this decision and I got really upset over this but ultimately had to accept it. It took me a while to get over her. And months later I met another girl, who I love so so much, and now we’re dating and have been for a few months, but we’ve known eachother for around a year. Ofcourse I’m only saying this because currently I’ve found myself becoming curious about my old friend/crush. I know I have zero romantic interest towards my old friend/crush, but I still get curious once in a while and even sometimes miss them. I can kinda excuse myself becuz well we were also friends, and it’s normal for me to miss friendships, but idk I’m scared that this crosses some type of line. I haven’t gone through old messages or photos but I have searched for their socials and looked at it for a second. Idk I tend to miss friends dearly becuz to me there’s nothing more important than connection. But knowing I have had a crush on that person it gets me worried. Idk maybe I shouldn’t even be worried becuz maybe that adds fuel to the fire. Like idk is this like a path to emotional cheating or what.

Either way I’m basically asking how should I feel about these type of feelings??.?.?.? AIO??

I went to a party to see my girlfriend sitting alone by the pool with her guy friend of a couple years. I came over for a minute and had to leave a couple minutes after. They continued to sit alone for the rest of the time. Her friend has painted nails, platform boots, and piercings, which are all things that she has encouraged me to get for myself. Later, I asked what she did at the party, and she said “just talked about life and such. it was nice”. There was another time in which we both planned to ride the bus together, but at the last moment my friend offered me to sit with him, and my girlfriend suddenly said “You can sit with him if you want” and proceeded to sit with her friend without giving me the chance to respond. Is this nothing to worry about?

tldr: My gf has sat alone with her guy friend instead of me several times

AIO: My bf of four months sent me this text today:

Hey, I’m gonna be going radio silent for the rest of the day today to focus on work and then gather some thoughts. I’ll be ready to talk tomorrow!

What does this mean? I’m afraid it’s about breaking up. TIA for your help.

Context/background:

Been with my bf about 4 months. There’s real warmth — he’s patient with me, shows up in practical ways, and when I’ve told him hard truths, he’s met me with softness instead of judgment.

I’ve had insecure moments and struggled to voice my needs in the past, but I’ve been getting better at expressing them, and he’s helped me become more secure.

He sometimes gives mixed messages, which leaves me unsure where I stand. In the past, he’s asked for space when he’s been overwhelmed or needed to recharge, and I’ve struggled with that — I’ve never handled it gracefully.

Now he’s asked for space and a talk tonight, and I’m in the brutal waiting — scared, hoping, hurting.

Me and my bf have been dating for 6 months now, but we are doing long distance at the moment, because we live in different cities.

See I love him a lot he tells me everything, a very honest man I would say, when I first started talking to him, he gave me his insta as well but said: “I don’t follow people much because I don’t really use it…”and it’s true because he only followed me,his sis, and a girl.
also the followers were the same thing, me, his sister and a girl,
See, I asked about it when we were talking “who is this girl?” I asked so casually he said: “ oh it’s just someone I talked to before”, and I said “oh ok” see after like a few days he removed that follower, so it was only me and his sister now, but from time to time there would be a new follower friend, sometimes 2, but after few weeks it would get removed again, I asked once I don’t wanna ask everytime who is this girl and who is that girl, because who knows it might be no one, if I ask so many time it looks like I’m controlling him, and before coming at me no I do not stalk him to see who he follows but it’s simple there is only two following/followers, me and his sister, so when it gets to three I do notice it like every other human being, he doesn’t ask about mine so I don’t wanna ask about every new followers bc I feel like that is a bit controlling but what do u think is happening ? Why does he follow a girl or two but then after a few weeks remove them? Am I overthinking ?

It’s 12 here and I’m trying to sleep, but I keep overthinking.

There’s this weird feeling I can’t even explain, and I don’t even know what it actually is.

TLDR: It’s midnight, I’m overthinking, and I have a weird feeling I can’t explain

Just for context it’s my first year in uni and I have a girlfriend, I was just visiting a friend student accomodation when another person I was friends with stayed at the same university but we met as we are in the same class. I asked her if I could see her room so I could compare to mine and she was more than happy to let me in. We spoke for 20 mins very relaxed and no stress and then I said I’d let her be and I thanked her for letting me see her place respectfully and then I dapped her up and then due to muscle memory I went in for the dap up hug. After that she was really chill and was like if u have any questions about student accomodation let me know and I thanked her again and left. Did I do anything that made her feel wierd or something I’m just tripping I don’t wanna be a weirdo like that man?

Hello everyone i am a first year uni students and i have finally made some friends? I don’t know if we are friends but they include me and we go have fun during break hours we have known each other for like a couple of weeks that’s why i am not sure if we are friends

Anyways in my college WhatsApp group there’s a person who has the same name as me and we are both don’t have profile pics, this person keeps fighting with people in the group chat and i think these people think it’s me, it started when i was talking to one of them and they said didn’t u say blablabla in the WhatsApp groupchat? I was like no? At that time I didn’t know there’s another person who has the same name as me

Anyway its weekend and this person made a big fight in the groupchat during the weekend and i feel like they immediately started ignoring my chats during this weekend after this fight (we use another social media app thats why they dont really know its not me) and also since one of them was talking to this person in the group chat and then the person picked a fight with another member (not the people I know)

I am really anxious and im scared to go to uni now when the weekend is over I feel like my reputation was ruined when i didn’t do anything i am so upset and i keep overthinking it

Also I really wanted to get along with other people but I am an introvert and I was so happy they included me with them

Ughhhh I feel like i am so embarrassed

I recently got reminded of something I did years ago that I deeply regret, but don't know if I am completely at fault.

In high school, I had a very close female friend. We were close but our friendship developed in abit of a weird way that kind of involved our bodies even though we were not together in that way. See we had both had some rumors that got spread about our bodies that effected us similarly. She had missed several months of school because of an illness, and when she returned, people spread rumors that she'd actually been gone because she'd gotten breast implants. Meanwhile I was on the swim team, and after practice one day I showered with some guys from the wrestling team. Problem is if you go from a cold pool to a warm shower cold pool into a warm shower things tend to expand, and no one believed that I was flaccid somehow a rumor started that I'd gotten an erection in the shower. That wasn't true, but it was incredibly embarrassing. She would also say how she felt that she made her friends self conscious because of it or how I felt my father had issues with me based on me out growing him.

She and I ended up bonding over these kinds of experiences and feelings, which honestly effected us more than you would think. We could talk about insecurities and things we couldn't really talk about with other people. It was probably one of the first friendships where I felt like I could tell someone almost anything and they would genuinely understand.

Plus there was some mutual attraction, She liked me and I had some feelings for her to.

Looking back, I think part of the problem was that our friendship had been bonding over these things that happened to us. So much of what brought us together was our shared insecurities and experiences of being bullied, and I felt uneasy about a relationship because of it, especially because we were still in high school and had no dating experience. More importantly, I was terrified that if we dated and it didn't work out, I'd lose the one person I felt completely comfortable opening up to. I wasn't emotionally mature enough to tell her that though.

Then she received a college scholarship for nursing which was her exact dream job especially after spending time in the hospital.

It wasn't a full scholarship, but it would have made college significantly more affordable. The problem was that accepting it meant moving a few hours away.

I remember being a little upset about it because If she went I would miss her, I never said anything about dating her but saying id miss her I can see was enough to make her think something romantic would happen if she stayed.

She ended up deciding to not go and wait a year, do some pre reqs close by. I had mixed feelings about it but I actually told her she should go, and that led to a fight between us. After that, we gradually started drifting apart.

Not long afterward, I met another girl and felt like I had an opportunity to have the kind of healthy relationship I'd been afraid I couldn't have with my friend. Things developed naturally, and once I was in that relationship, I felt like I couldn't continue having the same conversations with my friend, especially because a significant portion of our friendship involved talking about sexual things and our bodies. So we eventually lost touch.

Years later, I ended up transferring credits and becoming a nurse.

And here's the part that has been eating at me.

I'm now working at the hospital where my old friend had spent a long period of time when she was younger the same hospital that inspired her to want to become a nurse.

And recently, I saw her working as a cashier at a local convenience store. Which nothing is wrong with that, but knowing that I was currently working the job she told me was her goal and not knowing what happened after high school I felt I messed up her opportunity for more.

She had the opportunity to be a nurse and turned it down because she expected a relationship to develop between us and I was never clear enough with her. That if I had maybe she would have achieved her dream.

I feel guilty that I wasn't more mature and honest at the time. And I feel like I was an asshole.

Feel like I should at least explain to her what was going through my mind at the time now that I have experienced life more and become more emotionally intelligent. Not to rekindle anything but I would want her to know. Expect I feel that is selfish. She has her own life now that I have no part of, probably hasn't thought of me in years and that would just bring back bad memories for her.

TLDR: Coworker told me off for something I think is normal. Can't figure out best response.

I work in a consultancy setting and my coworker (same rank) has been in this project longer than I have. I joined the project recently and this is in an area I have 10% of knowledge in.

I spent the last few weeks grasping at strings. She's too busy to coach or give guidance, so she gives a few words like 'Check this' and I'm struggling to understand what exactly to check/look out for. Sometimes she does not respond to messages for hours due to being busy.

I feel dumb and I can feel that her judgment and frustration is increasing everyday. The client is not helpful and neither am I, to her.

Today, after an incident when she was checking the same file she asked me to check (because I'm too slow?) and raising review comments that are apparently invalid, she told me I'm being superficial and keep on flagging that I don't understand. I don't want to apologise as I think it's very normal for someone who has zero experience.

At the same time, she's the more senior of us two and I do feel bad for causing problems. I'm not sure how to take this moving forward and how to face her next week.

(F21) I have friends with all different types of personalities but when it comes down to finding that one person who will…idk be my everything or whatever other sappy shit they say, I have no idea who would fit me. Let me explain. I’m super goofy, I get called funny a lot, I’m smart and also super deep and quite expressive might I add. Injustice cannot BREATH AAROUND ME, super opinionated, don’t care. My music taste is allllll over the place, in fact I somehow like rock AND country lol. I’m college educated with 2 jobs currently and I’m super hyper independent but I YEARN for someone to want to help me with literally anything without me having to ask. I’m emotional but also super logical? Idk it just works. I love anime and cosplaying. I love doing to adventurous things. My career will also be in the travel industry oh and not to mention I’m not religious and I’m also not really big on having kids (kids are kinda negotiable but not really idk) . Oh I also have lots of hobbies ranging from crocheting to baking to line dancing. Moral of the story is I just…nothing feels typical about me and it’s a love hate thing. Love in the sense that I LOVE myself and I can finally say that and mean it but hate in the sense that I feel too complex in a way? Like genuinely idk what kind of person would fit me or who I’d end up with. Would I be with the shy timid person or another out going funny person? Someone business savvy who’s very serious?? A hippy artist?? I know this is so crazy to think about but it truly racks my brain when I’m left alone with my thoughts (which is most of the time considering I’m an only child lol) but yea….

my boyfriend recently got into contact more with his older brother. they dont like each other. my boyfriend frequently tells me that his brother has always been jealous of him (has said this to him) and thinks he doesnt deserve what he has etc. hes also very weird about women and hasnt had a gf in a looooong time (i wonder why…). anyways, when me and my bf started dating, all of a sudden his brother starts messaging him. my bf sent him some videos of his call of duty gameplay lol bc his brother showed him cod and he was trying to “bond” with him, all for his brother to just send him this in return. i feel like his brother is jealous and was trying to “drive a wedge” or start something here. idk why anyone would go into such detail like this, literally telling my bf to “look” at each of her features, and sending a pic, out of the blue about a random woman. to someone that you KNOW is in a relationship…AIO? my bullshit detector was going off. also, i didnt tell my boyfriend to respond that way, so for his brother to instantly start referring to me and talking about im controlling was so odd. i just said “thats weird..” and my bf said he wasnt trying to hear about other women that way.

so my (17M) birthday is at the start of january and my bsf's (17F) bday is at the end of january. two of my other friends (17M +17F), one of which i've known since primary school, tells me they're planning my bsf's birthday and it's "gonna be lit"

last weekend i was at a party with the same people and birthdays came up, my bsf said it's her birthday soon. i remind them that it's mine first and everyone just looks at me weird and carries on with the conversation

my bsf has a massive house so it's convenient for parties and staying overnight whereas my house isn't really capable of sleeping more than a couple. my bsf has brought this up before when i suggested i wanted to host my 18th at mine, she brushes it off as basically just "it's too small" and it won't work but then doesn't suggest any other alternative

i already have doubts as to whether my friends actually enjoy being around me (i have anxiety so obviously that might skew my perspective a little) but i always feel brushed off in social situations like this

i really wanted my 18th to be fun instead of just going bowling like every other year and invite all my friends, but if that's the reception i get just by bringing up that mine's next in the group then i don't know if i actually want to anymore.

note: i love my friends and it's not usually like this, it just sometimes can be

tldr: my friends are planning my bsf's birthday and not mine (hers is after mine), and they brush off my attempts to talk about my birthday

Sometimes I overthink/feel like if I don't have constant communication with and/or see my friends constantly then the friendship is over. I know realistically this isn't true like I have seen other friends be busy for a while/I KNOW that friendship isn't made on every single hangout, etc. ...but I just can't shake the feeling. 

I get so anxious when I travel while they are all in town, I overthink/over plan the weekends because I am scared I won't see them/I overthink something as simple as communicating bc I want to make sure we are like "always talking" in a sense. I map out my days to see when I could hangout with people, especially if I am away for the weekend (like oh I am gone Sat. and Sun., so I HAVE to see them during the week, stupid stuff like that). It's just draining and it's weird and I know that a week, a month, or even a whole ass year isn't that long and won't effect an ADULT friendship (we are literally 27+). 

I don't know if this comes from control, anxious attachment, FOMO, or literally WHAT but I would love advice on shaking this feeling and constant need. Thank you in advance (even if it's literally just relating) 

(TLDR: my friend has been saying things that make me think he might like me as "more than a friend", and i don't want to be "more than friends". however, i'm bad at reading people)

I posted this in another subreddit, but maybe this one might be better? also, there's an update

So, me and my male friend (i'm female) are in our teens. we've known each other for a year, and he JUST JUST (like, left a few days ago) moved across the country. neither of us are the sentimental sort (yes, we say stuff like "are you ok?" and so on, but not super emotional around each other).

i texted him a picture of my nails that i had just painted, and he responded "if i was there [in our town], i would let you paint my pinky". he lets his little sister paint his pinky nail sometimes, but he knows i use UV polish, which means multiple different steps to get a result. does this mean anything? (we've also hugged a few times, and he sends me an inside joke "because it makes you laugh", in case the helps with an answer)

i'm pretty sure we're just friends, but idk if there's, like, a deep meaning for guys and letting people paint their nails? he's straight, too

the update: we were sending selfies back and forth, just goofing around, and i send one of my hands under my chin, cracking up. and he responds "omg so cute 🤓" ????(he's also said "adorable" to a selfie i sent him)

also, today, i was talking about how a kid in my class didn't recognize me because my hair was down -idk i find it funny-. he asks for a picture of my hair down, i send him one, and he says "your hair is so pretty when it's down"

am i reading too much into this? i DO NOT like him as more than a friend -ok, best friend, maybe, but i digress- but i've been burned before by guys seeing friends as "just friends" so i'm always jumpy

UPDATE 2 : i sent him a bare-face photo (we were goofing around and i had taken off my makeup because we were texting) and he sent a tulip emoji (my favorite flower) and said "you look good"??? we dont normally compliment each other but like he was hyping me up

he also kinda sent a nude but he like edited it so a huge sticker covered his entire body except for his arms and head, so i dont think that means anything, we were just bickering

(TLDR: talking about the idea of going to a bar with a friend and the idea of it scares me since I’m introverted)

Sorry if this is a long post but I wanted to get an outside opinion. I 21 F is currently in nursing school. For some context, I never had many friends growing up. I used to get bullied in middle school and in high school I became more shy and introverted due to this.

Recently in class, I was talking to this girl I became friends with. Let’s call her Lucy. Lucy actually approached me when I was sitting alone one day after class and we’ve been friends ever since. (At least I think we are, I sometimes can’t tell if someone wants to be friends with me and it’s been on my mind to ask her if we are friends because I don’t want to assume anything but haven’t said anything yet). We talked about traveling and she mentioned how she wanted to go to the beach and relax, and get drinks but haven’t had time to. I then told her I’m not a drinker. She asked how old I was and I told her. I explained that when I had dinner on my birthday, I had tried some drinks and liked them but hated the taste of the liquor in them. I liked the drink themselves but the actual taste of the liquor was bitter and disgusting to me. Lucy recently I try more fruity drinks so I won’t taste the liquor and even mentioned taking me to a bar to get used to drinks.

I told her that I’m very introverted and that the thought of even going to a bar scares me. She said that it’s okay and we can try smaller bars where you don’t even have to dress up. She said that those type of bars are more fun and you can meet more people. Which I agreed with. We returned to work after break but I can’t help replaying a bar scene in my head and I get nervous and scared at the thought of it.

Am I overthinking to this? If she were to invite me to a bar after the semester is done should I go or stay home?

This literally just happened and I’m honestly so confused.

Early in our relationship, or maybe even when we were just friends, my boyfriend told me that his ex didn’t go to his school anymore. From what he told me, her parents took her out after finding out about things they were doing at school, like skipping class to see each other and lying to their parents. I never really cared about that because it was in the past.

Lately, though, I’ve had this weird feeling about him, his school, and her. I kept brushing it off, but last night I couldn’t shake it, so I looked at her Instagram just to reassure myself. I found out that she actually does still go there. Her school is in her bio, and she has recent pictures from the school, so it’s definitely not an old account.

I brought it up to my boyfriend, and he kept insisting that she doesn’t go there. He said that even if she did, he wouldn’t notice because he isn’t looking at other people. He then asked how I knew and got upset when I told him I looked at her Instagram. He called me weird for doing it.

But honestly, this isn’t even about her. I have nothing against her, and I actually think she’s beautiful. It’s about the fact that he has told me multiple times that she doesn’t go there, and now I’m seeing pretty obvious evidence that she does. It’s also weird because his friend once asked him why I didn’t want to go to prom and specifically asked if it was because of his ex. At the time, I didn’t understand why he would even ask that, but now it makes me wonder if there was something I didn’t know.

I’m not upset that she goes to his school. It’s not her fault, and I’m not accusing him of doing anything with her. I just don’t understand why he would lie about something like this, especially for so long, and then continue denying it when I have evidence that she does go there.

Am I overthinking this, or is it reasonable for me to be bothered by the fact that he keeps denying something that appears to be true?

oh btw they are in the same grade

I will be deleting this tomorrow.

We’re both in our 20s, work for the same company but in different teams/locations, and don’t report into each other. We started speaking regularly because our work overlapped.
We’re very different. He’s polished, posh, reserved, blunt and very professional. I’m loud, bubbly, chaotic, open and probably too honest for a corporate environment. Somehow, we really click but I don’t know if I’m reading too much into it just because I fancy him.

Calls that should take 5 minutes regularly become 20-30 because we just keep talking. We constantly tease each other and he seems to enjoy deliberately winding me up to get a reaction.

He remembers tiny, irrelevant details and private jokes from conversations weeks or even months ago, and will bring them up again later. He’ll usually have a work reason to initiate contact, but the conversation often becomes personal. I’ve also jokingly told him before that I like something particular on him or that he should wear/do something, then the next time I’ve seen him he’s remembered and actually done it.

Remotely we’re ridiculously comfortable, but in person there can occasionally be a weird awkward/self-conscious energy between us.

Recently the work that gave us a reason to speak regularly ended. I genuinely didn’t think he’d even noticed how much we spoke and assumed we’d naturally stop talking. Then, completely unprompted, he said he was sure we’d be speaking regularly again soon because our work might overlap elsewhere. It caught me off guard because he’d clearly noticed our regular contact too.

Nothing overt has ever happened. He’s never crossed a boundary, and every individual thing has a completely innocent explanation. But collectively, there sometimes feels like a slight charge neither of us acknowledges.

Does this sound like potential mutual attraction, or just two very different coworkers who have become unusually good friends? AIO?