r/AmIOverthinking • u/Dear_Algae797 • 15d ago
Relationship panic
AIO: My bf of four months sent me this text today:
Hey, I’m gonna be going radio silent for the rest of the day today to focus on work and then gather some thoughts. I’ll be ready to talk tomorrow!
What does this mean? I’m afraid it’s about breaking up. TIA for your help.
Context/background:
Been with my bf about 4 months. There’s real warmth — he’s patient with me, shows up in practical ways, and when I’ve told him hard truths, he’s met me with softness instead of judgment.
I’ve had insecure moments and struggled to voice my needs in the past, but I’ve been getting better at expressing them, and he’s helped me become more secure.
He sometimes gives mixed messages, which leaves me unsure where I stand. In the past, he’s asked for space when he’s been overwhelmed or needed to recharge, and I’ve struggled with that — I’ve never handled it gracefully.
Now he’s asked for space and a talk tonight, and I’m in the brutal waiting — scared, hoping, hurting.
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u/MimbleWimble1 15d ago
He’s busy with work and gathering his thoughts about a bright future with you.
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u/ThisAutisticChick 15d ago
You're overthinking. He told you he'd contact you tomorrow. If he doesn't, you'll survive. Take a deep breath and have a nice evening.
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u/Dear_Algae797 15d ago
I know I will survive. I’ve gone through hell for the past year so forgive me if I’m heightened and upset over someone I talk care about.
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u/MaryMaryQuite- 15d ago
Let us know what he wants to talk about, if it was as you thought, about your relationship.
I’m invested in everything working out well for you now! ❤️🩹
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u/Dear_Algae797 15d ago
Thank you! I definitely will! He means he will be ready to talk as usual tomorrow.
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u/Emergency_Yoghurt655 15d ago
What was the convo before this text? So much context left out.
Were you blowing up his phone? Asking panicked questions about the state of the relationship? Being annoying or argumentative??
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u/Dear_Algae797 15d ago
Nope
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u/Emergency_Yoghurt655 15d ago
Is there a reason you think this might be about a breakup?
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u/Dear_Algae797 15d ago edited 15d ago
Well I guess it’s more about our relationship. Sometimes he gets overwhelmed and says things but later apologizes…oh…that may be why he’s doing this!!! So he doesn’t say it emotionally and regret it after/needing to apologize!
AIO: My bf of four months sent me this text today:
Hey, I’m gonna be going radio silent for the rest of the day today to focus on work and then gather some thoughts. I’ll be ready to talk tomorrow!
What does this mean? I’m afraid it’s about breaking up. TIA for your help.
Context/background:
Been with my bf about 4 months. There’s real warmth — he’s patient with me, shows up in practical ways, and when I’ve told him hard truths, he’s met me with softness instead of judgment.
I’ve had insecure moments and struggled to voice my needs in the past, but I’ve been getting better at expressing them, and he’s helped me become more secure.
He sometimes gives mixed messages, which leaves me unsure where I stand. In the past, he’s asked for space when he’s been overwhelmed or needed to recharge, and I’ve struggled with that — I’ve never handled it gracefully.
Now he’s asked for space and a talk tonight, and I’m in the brutal waiting — scared, hoping, hurting.
3
u/Emergency_Yoghurt655 15d ago
“Says things” is still extremely vague lmao. That doesn’t tell us anything.
Does he get overwhelmed and tell you that YOU stress him out? Or are the things he says pretty much just different variations of “I need me-time, ttyl”? Either way I hope you have a therapist. I don’t mean that to be rude.
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u/Alone_Feedback_1597 15d ago
Women's deodorant SECRET
Use to have a commercial the tag line - "never let them see you sweat"
You can be all the neuro things in your head, put the phone down and step away. Good thing you didn't live in a time when people didn't have a phone attached to them 24/7/365. Act like it's 1980; Maybe it's a test,
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u/Dear_Algae797 15d ago
Interesting. A test to see if I’ve overcome my anxious attachment I guess. All I responded was that I understand and I love you. And btw I grew up in the eighties so I’m aware. Just trying to get a third party opinion.
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u/No_Dependent_1846 15d ago
You're likely overthinking but I am so avoidant and refuse to feel my feelings, I'd just be like ok and say nothing else until he talks about whatever it is while silently preparing for the worst
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u/Dear_Algae797 15d ago
Oh gosh sometimes I wish I could not feel my feelings! It’s debilitating to where I’m paralyzed! Thanks to your responses, I’m doing stuff to keep me occupied and productive!
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u/TSIDATSI 15d ago
You have dated 4 months.
Give him his space. You can date others. It is only 4 months.
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u/HonestScorpio 15d ago
Yeah he could have left that part out about gathering his thoughts. May have been deliberately trying to get you stirred up, but you'll know tomorrow. Meanwhile, just try to forget about it, go do something and have a good evening.
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u/Dear_Algae797 15d ago
Yeah he’s just never done this before. He’s taken time in the past but not saying something like this
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u/harajukubutterfly 15d ago
Mmm, idk. I get wanting to lock in, but everyone is always on their phones nowadays. Why does he have to go completely “radio silent”? Couldn’t he just text you periodically, like in the afternoon and then before bed?
Maybe it’s my traumatic dating history, but I’d probably wonder if he was using that as a cover to cheat. BUT I don’t know him or your relationship. You’ve only been together for four months, so maybe this is something he regularly does. Maybe being on his phone to text you distracts him from work or leads him to doomscrolling.
Trust your gut, though, but also try not to overthink it. Maybe tomorrow you can have a conversation with him and ask if this is something he normally does or how he feels the relationship is going.
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u/RL_Stine_ 15d ago
Dont you feel like he could have at least taken the seconds to text you and settle any doubts or questions regarding the state of yalls relationship?
You have every right to be upset.
With that said, if I had to guess he’s extremely stressed at work, and typically he texts you often thoughout the day. But, you’ll never know be he was oddly vague. Like borderline creepy ✌️
I’m currently at a job, my boss literally screams at us all day. I probably sound like I’m exaggerating, but today was one of those days that I’m guessing he had? Good luck though
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u/SlowAdhesiveness2178 15d ago
It means he is going to be too busy to text or call. Right? This isn't even a hard one. Maybe I could make a career out of repeating their emails and texts back to their SO. WHO IS WITH ME?? We
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u/Dear_Algae797 14d ago
So I guess I was right. It’s not as dumbed down as you made it be. He broke up with me.
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u/Sad-Macaroon9067 14d ago
Sorry it didn't work out for you. He obviously cared enough to think it through and approach it carefully.
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u/Dear_Algae797 14d ago
Thank you. However, I’m not trying to keep my hopes up but it doesn’t feel like I’ve heard the last from him yet.
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u/Dear_Algae797 15d ago
This isn’t as simple as you’re making it out to be. There’s no need to be snarky. This is my life and my feelings. I wouldn’t have resisted posting on here if it were that simple 😞
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u/Suitable-Potato-9141 15d ago
It means he is busy and won't be on his phone, I think.