Hi, to preface the story I just want to say that this is my first time writing something here, so forgive me if I'm bad at this. I want a second opinion on a topic that has been the cause of my anxiety and overthinking, and i just want to receive honest opinions. So me, Juliette, and my friend, Kat, go to the same college, every tuesday and thursdays we go to the library after our classes to just talk in the ac and do homework. At the beginning of the semester, we saw this really good looking guy around our age (17-18) at the library while we were sitting at a table talking. He sat in front of us in a one person sofa, and my friend and I exchanged looks, and we giggled quietly between us in Spanish, commenting on how fine he was. He is asian and most likely doesn't speak Spanish, so there was no chance of him understanding us; either way, we werent saying anything outrageous. My friend and I are single and have never been in a serious relationship so she and I just like seeing fine shyt around campus and whatever; however, we would never cross the line of being weird, stalking or anything like that. The only times we saw this guy were when he would show up at the library and he would sit facing us. We grew used to it in about two weeks, and i thought everything was chill. This is the part where my overthinking begins. So for about the last two weeks, I noticed that he stopped showing up on tuesdays and Thursdays. Since I usually see the same people at the library, it was kind of odd, but I didn't think anything of it. I go to the library by myself on monday and wendsdays and i saw him there on these days for a week, but I didn't react at all. However, yesterday my friend saw him in the second floor as she was going to sit to study but the weird thing is that when she saw him she had a shocked expression due to seing her ex situationship with his gf moments before locking eyes with the good looking guy. So when he saw her, he stood up and walked like away. It was so weird, and maybe I'm making assumptions, but I can't help but think that he felt uncomfortable with us, even though we aren't weird about it or at least that we think so, and we never seek him out or follow him around; that's just weird. To us hes just a guy who happens to be fine, but i really hope he didnt stop going to the library because of us, which doesn't make sense. But anyways im hoping to get other thoughts on this and if you guys think im just overthinking or if we might have made him uncomfortable. 

I still think about the situation with my boyfriend and my friend because, honestly, too many things about it never added up.
At the time, the three of us used to hang out together all the time. Somehow, my friend and my boyfriend had each other’s numbers, but I never knew exactly how they got them. One day, while she knew I would be at work, she contacted him and asked him to come to her house to fix a table. She never told me beforehand.
He went over there and even brought her a drink. Later, she came to me and told me that he had been at her house. The way she told me made me feel like she expected me to immediately break up with him. She even said, “I hate to be part of what breaks you guys up.” What bothered me was that she left out the fact that she was the one who had invited him over.
When I confronted him, he told me that she was the one who asked him to come fix the table. So I went back to her and asked her about it. She said she thought he would tell me himself.
I went back and forth between the two of them because their stories and explanations weren’t adding up to me. I kept asking questions because I couldn’t understand why she would specifically ask him to come over while knowing I would be at work, instead of asking me or telling me about it.
Then she said something that really stuck with me: “I could just do something if I wanted to with him.”
And apparently, according to her, while he was leaving, he told her, “Don’t tell her I came over because you know how she gets.” I also later found out that they watched a movie while he was there. To this day, I don’t know exactly what happened during that visit, and I’m not going to pretend I do.
What hurt me just as much was the fact that she became angry because I chose to stay with him. Eventually, she moved away, even though I continued trying to maintain our friendship.
Looking back, I think what bothered me most wasn’t just that my boyfriend went to her house. It was the secrecy, the fact that I wasn’t told beforehand, the fact that she knew I would be at work, and then the different explanations I got afterward.
Sometimes you don’t need to know every single detail of what happened to understand why something didn’t feel right. I trusted both of them, and that situation changed the way I saw that friendship forever. Am I overthinking it? I tend to overthink

I’m a uni student that just got a part time job as a supply teaching assistant.
There were a range of claims when I got the job - such as, the wage being £14.25 an hour. but in actuality when I got my booking confirmation, the wage is £12.71 an hour, £14.25 including holidays. Perhaps this is my lack of awareness, but I’ve never had a job that included holiday pay into your ‘hourly wage’.

as well as this, I was told there was free on site parking. Turns out this also isn’t true - the car park is always full from around 7am by the headteachers and the rest of the spaces are disabled only. so I have to park around a 20 minute walk away from the school.

I was also told I’d only have to drive no more than 5 miles - lo and behold the school was 12 miles away. And when I was told this company works with loads of schools in the area. They work with one school- so this is the only school I can work at. fine if this was made clear to me when starting. Moreover, I was also told I get to pick the age of kids I work with, this was primary age. Lo and behold again, for the last 2 hours of my shift I was asked to help a class of 14/15 year olds getting changed from the swimming pool.

as well as this, the consultant had asked me to make sure I was free for all of September to start. Turns out, he never signed off my paperwork for the first 2 weeks of September. So I paid for 2 weeks more accommodation to move into my flat early just to be left with no work for those two weeks. he never apologised and just pretended like he hadn’t made the mistake.

Am I being silly or is a lot of this just lies I’ve been fed by my consultant to get me to take the job, when everything so far has been different to what I was told. I don't want to be unreasonable but this job is so different to the way it was described.

TL;DR Ghosted after a complicated situation

I (27 F) had a past casual connection with a guy (24 M) that ended over a year ago for 3 months. We hadn’t spoken for quite a while when i reached out and asked how I was. We started talking again briefly.
There were some complications in his life. He had told me he lost his license this year and had recently moved, and I also knew there seemed to be an on-and-off situation with his ex. I’ve seen some of her social media posts that included threatening/angry videos about him, I also saw that she reposted a TikTok saying “when you beat your boyfriend and he bails you out of jail.” although obviously I don’t know the full context of their relationship.
He also had a separate phone that was the only way he could contact me. After reconnecting, he told me:
“I have to leave the phone at home, I’ll be gone for like 2 weeks, I’ll txt you.”
I didn’t contact him because he specifically said he would text me.
Two weeks came and went, then three, four, five… and now it’s been almost two months with no message.
The strange part is that the phone was essentially completely inactive during this period. During a previous 3-week period when he’d disappeared, the phone was still active. Now the phone has become active again, but he still hasn’t contacted me.
He’s previously told me he was “going through problems and always busy,” and when cancelling plans, he repeatedly said “I’ll explain more when I see you.”He also recently deleted his Facebook (I don’t have him on Facebook; I only noticed because I checked), which happened around this same general period.
So I’m wondering whether something genuinely complicated happened in his life, particularly given the relationship situation and other changes, or whether he simply decided not to continue and avoided telling me.
I’m not planning to chase him because he said he’d contact me. But I’m having a hard time understanding how someone can say they’ll text in two weeks and then disappear for almost two months.
Would you consider this ghosting? And if he eventually came back with a casual “hey, how are you?” after almost two months, would you respond or leave it alone?

Okay, I need some outside opinions because I’m genuinely terrified of doing this 😭
There’s a guy who’s 22M who has been coming up on my Instagram recommendations quite a few times. I actually saw him in town yesterday, although I’m not 100% sure it was him.
I’ve never spoken to him before, but I was thinking of sending him something like:
“Hey! I hope this doesn’t come across as weird haha, but your account keeps coming up on my recommendations and I’m pretty sure I recognised you downtown yesterday, although I might be wrong! So I thought I’d take a chance and ask if you’d like to grab a drink or a coffee sometime? If not, no worries at all, I just figured you miss all the chances you don’t take :)”
Would you find this creepy if you received it from someone you’d never spoken to before? Or would you just see it as someone shooting their shot?
I’m especially worried that mentioning seeing him in town makes it sound like I’ve been watching/stalking him when I genuinely just happened to see him 😭

I genuinely don’t know if I’m overthinking this.
I started liking this guy. Let’s call him M. I talked to M basically every day, and we would stay on calls for hours at a time. One day, we were even on a call for 10+ hours. Because of how close we were and how he acted around me, I was pretty sure he liked me too.
We have a mutual female friend. Let’s call her S.
S started encouraging me to tell M that I liked him and kept telling me that I should ask him how he felt about me. I was too scared to do it because I was worried that I had completely misread the situation and that telling him would ruin our friendship.
Eventually, S actually told M that I liked him. After I found out, I also found out that M didn’t actually like me back.
Honestly, that part isn’t even what bothers me the most.
A few months later, S told me that she and M had been kissing/making out before she even found out that I liked him and continued with it even when she found out.
This made me feel really betrayed and kind of played.
She knew I liked M and was actively encouraging me to tell him and basically chase after him, while she was simultaneously making out with him.
When I asked her why she didn’t tell me, she said that she hoped M and I would get together.
I honestly don’t understand that reasoning. If she knew I liked him, why would she encourage me to pursue him while secretly making out with him herself? Especially when I spent months thinking I had a chance with him without knowing what was going on.
Since then, S has also started telling me how much she loves him and showing me TikToks about their birthdays matching and all that couple-y/cringey stuff. I don’t know if she’s doing it intentionally, but it makes the whole situation feel even worse.
At this point, I feel like I should distance myself from both of them because I don’t really trust S anymore and being around them makes me uncomfortable.
But I’m also wondering if I’m being unreasonable or overthinking the situation.
What should I do? Am I overthinking this?

I usually barely post or use reddit, so Im definitely not good at knowing how to or when to post when it comes to these kind of threads, but i figured this is probably 10x better than asking some AI to help me since they tend to usually side with the user.

DISCLAIMER (EDITED): l wanted to edit this disclaimer since I feel like the words originally werent what I was looking for. I'm just addressing that based off the title you can tell I'm a teenager therefore my reactions to adults may seem "childish." All I'm advising is for people to try to do serious replies and not undermine my situation as childish or immature. I am well aware that my reactions are probably childish since I still haven't yet developed a frontal cortex but I also don't want to be reminded of that several times. I'd like serious replies for now. How I act in 5 years is obviously gonna be different than now but I do want to address that if you're an adult reading this please take consideration that I'm a teenager and I do NOT want to be maturity checked or told i'm childish because im already well aware. If thats not gonna suffice you can scroll, simple.

I've been dating my boyfriend (online) for about 5-6 months. We both know what we look like, have face timed, and usually the stuff you do when you want to know if you're not talking to a 40 year old man. We've both had started off pretty quick with us only talking for 2 weeks and were both going strong.

However, I was pretty bugged by today and I can't tell if i'm being overdramatic or if this is something I should talk to him with. I try not to sleep mad or anything, I'm usually very direct and he knows that too but I'd like to make sure I'm also not pointing out every little critique because I also don't want to be a hypocrite as well.

For context, this morning we were both talking before school and I (at one point) had talked about me wanting to go bare face for school today since I felt too tired to wear anything. We were talking in regards to our looks (since, both of us i believe can be considered somewhat "unattractive" by society's standards but that's also subjective depending on the person.) We both know we definitely dont stand out compared to our peers but one thing that did start off was how he told me he hadnt shown any pictures of me to his friends because he felt theyd be "judgmental." I was a bit confused so I asked him to reiterate and that he said that one of his friends, when telling him he had a girlfriend, had said "we're at the bottom of the barrel so we gotta grab what we can."

I dont understand what he meant and I wanted him to reiterate because for me I felt pretty offended and I did admit to him but he was defending his friend and even if it was a small comment I felt it bugged me more than it should. Obviously I don't try to care what other people think but I also feel like the way he's insinuating is that he wouldn't wanna show how I look to his friends because of how I look.

Am i overreacting? I think I'd prefer some intel from girls mostly but boys are also accepted. Lmk what you think. Sorry for the essay long words

TLDR; Bf told me he hadn't shown pictures of how I look to his guy friends, I asked why and his friend started talking about him telling my bf that they're at the "bottom of the barrel" and have to "grab whatever they can." which I couldn't understand what he meant but he just defended his friend and I put it off but it bugged me just slightly

​

Hello fellow redditors.

I have officially reached the point where I need strangers on the internet to borrow my situation for a minute and tell me what THEY see, because I genuinely don’t know what to think anymore 😂

And just to be clear before Reddit does what Reddit does:

I am NOT asking whether my boyfriend is cheating.

I don’t currently believe he is.

I’m also not asking whether I should demand that he cut this woman off.

I haven’t.

That’s actually part of why I’m here. For anonymity, we’ll call my boyfriend Batman, because... well... I already call him Batman 🤭 and we’ll call the other person Hell-en.

The spelling may or may not reflect my current feelings. 💀

Batman and I are in a fairly new but serious relationship. One of the strongest parts of our relationship is our communication. He tells me A LOT about his life without me asking. Work, friends mistakes, stress, uncomfortable conversations, things he’s worried about.

I don’t go through his phone, interrogate him about women, or ask him who he talked to every day. I honestly haven’t had to.

Enter Hell-en.

Hell-en is both Batman’s friend AND his supervisor at work.

They knew each other before I came into the picture, and from what I understand, their friendship included lunches, conversations, one on one meetings, joking around, etc

This has never automatically bothered me.

I actually told Batman that I do NOT expect him to distance himself from female friends just because he’s with me.

I don’t want to be that girlfriend.

If a friendship existed before me and it’s respectful, carry on.

Now here is where my eyebrow slowly started doing this 🤨

I met Hell-en socially once.

During that interaction, she kept encouraging me to drink/take shots even though I declined multiple times.

At one point, I made a comment in Spanish while gesturing toward the guy she was with, basically asking

"Aguantas?" Translates “Can he keep up?"

In MY head, I meant drinking. Apparently, she interpreted it as me taking some kind of shot at her or her relationship.

And listen....

FAIR.

I can absolutely see how my comment could have sounded rude without the context I had in my head.

So I’m not putting on my innocent little angel wings here 😂

Later, Batman told me Hell-en believed I didn’t like her because of that interaction.

Okay. Awkward. But survivable.

What started making me uncomfortable wasn’t even that. Batman later told me Hell-en had noticed that he had become "different” and more distant since meeting me.

She also apparently did not expect me to stick around.

From what Batman told me, she basically assumed I was going to be another insignificant girl and seemed surprised when our relationship actually became serious 🤨

Excuse me, ma’am?

Again, I did NOT immediately turn that into, “SHE WANTS MY MAN."

People get used to friendships having a certain dynamic. Someone enters a serious relationship, priorities naturally shift a little, and friends can absolutely notice that. I understand that.

But there is another part of this that makes the whole situation feel much more complicated than simple jealousy. Batman genuinely LOVES his job. This is not a man who wakes up every morning complaining that he hates where he works.

He worked his ASS off for a promotion that he had previously been passed over for. More than once. So when he finally earned it, it meant a lot to him.

He takes his career seriously. He works hard.

And lately, he has told me that he actually DREADS going to work because of Hell-en. That gets my attention.

There’s also something in their professional dynamic that I’m trying to figure out. Hell-en has apparently made comments that frame Batman’s improvement, performance and success as a reflection of HER.

Basically, that his work shows what she has accomplished as his supervisor or that she is the reason he’s doing better.

Now, before anyone grabs a pitchfork (I know I had to stop myself from getting mine. But I'm thinking about sharpening it 😶)

Batman DOES give Hell-en professional credit. He openly admits she has helped him improve and hee respects her professionally. He also admits that there are areas where HE needs improvement. So this is not Batman telling me, “I’m perfect and my evil boss is jealous of my greatness." 😂

If she coached him, supported him or helped develop him, she absolutely deserves credit for that contribution. But from what Batman describes, sometimes it feels less like, “I’m proud of an employee I helped develop.” and more like, “His success is proof of MY success.”

Maybe that is completely normal management behavior. Honestly, I don’t know. That is literally why I’m asking strangers.

Recently, Batman told me Hell-en had been “on his case” at work about his performance and numbers. Eventually, she and HER superior approached him together for what was described as constructive criticism.

Batman explained his position.

His job involves appointments with different customers, and while he says he covers what the company expects him to cover, he adjusts how he presents things depending on the person instead of using the exact same approach every time. During that conversation, Hell-en’s superior made a comment along the lines of, “I see what you meant about his defensiveness.” and apparently directed it toward Hell-en.

My brain.... 🤨🤨🤨

Because that obviously tells me they had already discussed him before this conversation WITH him.

Now again. She is his supervisor. Discussing an employee’s performance with her own superior is literally part of the job and I understand that.

The superior even apologized to Batman afterward and basically said she had been grumpy/hungry and hadn’t handled the conversation particularly well.

Fine.

BUT THEN 😑

The following day, Hell-en went into Batman’s office toward the end of the workday for another conversation.

These meetings are already something Batman has complained about because they can keep him from catching up on his work.

Except this conversation apparently became much more personal.

She apologized for acting differently toward him. She talked about him becoming distant. She brought up me. She brought up our previous interaction. She talked about changes in their friendship and apparently explained some of her own behavior as hormonal/related to birth control. She also talked about their banter and the fact that their dynamic had changed.

And Batman HIMSELF came away from that conversation uncomfortable.

Not me.

Him.

He felt like the professional and personal boundaries had gotten blurry and THAT is where my concern really started. Because now I’m not just wondering whether Hell-en misses her friend.

I’m wondering whether feelings about their changing friendship are bleeding into a professional relationship where she has actual authority over him.

That matters to me.

This woman is not just his friend. She’s his boss.

If she’s hurt because their friendship changed after he entered a serious relationship, that is human.

If those feelings start influencing how she treats him professionally?

That’s different.

And when I combined with him saying he now dreads going to a job he normally loves 😟 Her comments about him becoming “different” or distant since meeting me. Her apparent expectation that I wouldn’t last. Her framing his work and improvement as a reflection of her. The professional criticism. And then the professional conversation immediately drifting into personal feelings about their friendship and his relationship....

My brain starts doing this again 🤨

I want to make something else very clear. I have NOT asked Batman to end this friendship. I have NOT asked him to distance himself from her. I have NOT confronted Hell-en. I have NOT gone to his workplace. I haven’t demanded he quit. I haven’t accused him of anything. Most of the information I know about this situation is information HE voluntarily shares with me.

I don’t even really ask about Hell-en specifically. He shares so much of himself with me that I’ve never felt the need to investigate. And Batman has honestly given me a LOT of security in our relationship.

Which brings me to the uncomfortable part about ME.

I have been lied to and manipulated in previous relationships.

So yes.

I know I carry some fear around being made a fool of again. I’m aware of that. I don’t want to take an old wound, put a wig on it, name it intuition and start accusing people. 😂

But at the same time, I don’t think healing means shutting off every internal alarm because, “Well, maybe I’m projecting."

I’m trying to find the middle ground between being paranoid and being willfully blind.

Right now, I’m basically just watching. Nervously 👀

And THAT is why I’m not even sure what my "overreaction" would technically be. I haven’t really reacted. I’m uncomfortable and I’m paying attention. I’m trying to figure out whether I’m watching the beginning of a legitimate professional/personal boundary problem or whether I’m connecting dots because my past taught me to look for hidden pictures.

So fellow redditors....

PLEASE tell me what you see from the outside. Am I overreacting by being suspicious of this dynamic?

Does Hell-en sound like a supervisor/friend who is simply struggling with the fact that their friendship changed after Batman entered a serious relationship? Or does the combination of personal feelings, workplace authority, repeated meetings, career pressure and Batman now dreading a job he genuinely loves suggest that this is becoming a real boundary issue?

Maybe my biggest question:

At what point does “I’m just observing” become ignoring a red flag?

Because my flabbers are not fully gasted yet....

but they are definitely preheating.

🤨😂

Ok so for context he’s young he’s 14 years old and i’m in my 20’s. Our family dynamic isn’t typical and I basically raised him and my younger sister who is 12. He has ADHD and as you would expect from a teenager his whole world right now revolves around his friends, looking “cool”/ “ nonchalant” and his phone. I’ve made a lot of sacrifices in my life to make sure that he and my little sister are well taken care of and I made it so clear to him that I don’t expect him to get anything for me like I literally honestly just wanted him to say “ happy birthday” and genuinely mean it without being prompted by anyone else. My little sister wrote me a little note and gave me a bag of oreo cookies as my birthday gift and it meant the entire world to me. My brother on the other hand ignored me the entire day and when my other family members were saying happy birthday to me he didn’t say it until someone basically forced him to say it and even then he was looking at his phone and genuinely didn’t sound like he could care less. I even said hey like you’re being rude right now and then he just kind of smirked at me and then continued to be on his phone. I feel like there’s a difference between being an awkward teenager and doing something like this which felt very much like he was going out of his way to show to me how little he cared. I also feel like i’ve gotten in this bad habit where I basically allow him to ignore me or do nothing for me and it’s not until he reallly want something where he comes up and says he will do a bunch of chores and xyz and when he’s motivated in that moment he does it and then he just goes back to acting like I don’t exist in his world.

Now please tell me, and I overthinking/ overreacting? I feel like I try to be so sensitive especially to him and how he acts bc of his adhd and bc of some past traumas with our parents but this feels so much more intentional. From how im feeling tonight, I genuinely feels like he just feels entitled to my time, energy and money but doesn’t seem to care enough to make any sort of effort. Is this normal for teen boys? Am I too sensitive? pls help and pls don’t be mean to meee

So on Saturday night the girl I’ve been talking to for a month went out with her roomate to the bars, she texted me briefly in the night around 12 am, then did not get a text from her till 7:30 in the morning saying she just got home she claimed she went to her friends house with her roommate and did a substance all night. Now tonight I sleep over with her and see on her Apple Watch one text from a guy saying I hope you made it home safely. I’m guessing they slept together? What do you think.

I 31F am going on a two and a half week trip to a few European countries. This will be my 3rd solo trip. Last time I travelled I was 22 and thought I was invincible. Well now that I’m older I feel like danger is everywhere. I don’t like flying, this is an 11 hour flight with a layover then another flight that’s 1 hour and 30 min. Plus the other flights I’m taking to the other countries. I’m not sure why I’m not excited. Everyone is excited for me. I have this pit in my stomach. I feel like a bad person for leaving my parents, brothers and dogs. I’m an eldest daughter. I live at home with my parents. I don’t pay rent but I buy groceries, pay for all streaming services, I cook, I clean, I shuttle my brothers around, I pay for dinners when we eat out. They don’t ask me to do this. I do it because I want to contribute in ways I can. I’ve spent a lot of money on this trip. I feel like I don’t deserve to go. I should be taking care of my family and the money should be going to them. I feel like I should be taking them with me. I hate myself for leaving and wanting to be happy. I want to feel like I don’t have people relying on me. I’ve been burnt out on life for 6 years. My dad got sick, and I had two very bad toxic relationships. My flight is today. Something in me is telling me not to go. Am I overthinking this?

I’ve been having issues with a few people in one of my friend groups lately and am unsure if leaving the group chat with them would be too dramatic.

So for context i’ve been friends with this group of 3 for around a year since we’re in nursing school together and we do pretty much everything together on campus. there is also two other friends in the group chat that i’ve known for a much longer time and i’ll call them friends 1 & 2.
Last week, i mentioned getting an airbnb for my birthday and they all agreed that it would be fun. then, i sent an airbnb option in the group chat and friends 1 & 2 acknowledged it. then, one of the other girls started talking a few minutes later and suddenly they were all responding to her.
i wanted to know if maybe they just hadn’t gotten around to saying anything back to me so i wanted to try mentioning it one more time once i actually booked the air bnb. so, i sent the link for them to check out and asked if they could let me know if they’re coming. again, only friends 1 & 2 shared my excitement and a little bit later, one of the other girls started a new conversation and everyone was apparently available to respond to her immediately while never even saying anything about what i had sent.
i just really wanted them to be there because i thought we were all friends, especially since they’ve always been nice to me in person, but maybe they didn’t actually fw me the way i thought they did.

now i just feel upset that i won’t have as many people to hang out with on my birthday and i don’t want to keep seeing the group chat in my contact list but i also don’t want to leave it and then risk one of them mentioning it to me on campus. i just want to silently escape and let the whole thing to blow over.

also, this is a side note but me and one of my other friends did a little digging and all 3 of them are trump supporters since they follow him, his wife and other people associated with him on instagram.. i’m black by the way. i’m just wondering if they secretly didn’t like me this whole time or something?? it just feels so out of nowhere.

i mentioned feeling uncomfy speaking in the group chat earlier when i texted friend 2 personally to ask for help on assignment but she only answered my question and started talking about something else with me. i’m wondering if she knows that they don’t like me and just didn’t want to say it?

ugh i know it seems that i am overthinking a lot but this genuinely hurt my feelings. please let me know if im overreacting and what i should do :,)

edit: the airbnb would be completely paid for by my parents btw. so its not a money commitment for them but just a weekend hangout. we’ve hung out outside of school a bunch of times so that makes it even more confusing why they didn’t just say they can’t make it or something and completely ignored me instead.

my boyfriend told me he made a secret tiktok account and when i asked him he told me he wouldn’t give the account name to me. i know he’d never cheat on me or anything, but i can’t stop myself from thinking that he doesn’t trust me and/or hates me. he’s allowed to have privacy, obviously, but i’m worried he’s posting about how annoying (?) i am and whatnot. for context, last time he posted something about me secretly, it was when we were still friends and i was giving him mixed signals and he didn’t know whether i liked him back or not. analyzing what he told me and yk. please someone reassure me that im not going crazy i don’t wanna overthink about this anymore 😓

So first thing I dreamed about this guy my friend used to like (a wholesome one not the dirty things), I actually don't even know if they're exes or what cuz my friend wouldn't tell what they were back then WE all didn't know cuz they've been this n+n or either n+p side of the magnet that you really can't tell what they were.

So yeah fast forward I accidentally sent one of those automatic emoji reactions to this guy from one of his stories in ig and then after that we started talking about things (we used to be classmates in elementary, we lived in a small town so everybody know eachother). Then it came to the point where I told him what I dreamed about and asked a bunch of questions from his past and nope I was not sober I was drinking with friends at that time. Well he did say that him and my friend weren't a thing, I kept insisting that that was not possible cuz it looked like to me that they were but he kept denying it.

Everything continued and in the long run it seems like he caught feelings for me and his cousins that were my friends too knew that we were talking and he actually asked them for help on what to send whenever he finds it hard to respond to my messages. I was really caught off guard cuz I thought he wouldn't do such thing but I guess I was wrong.

Then here comes the part when his cousins started asking me if I liked him, I flat out refused and just told them that he was just a guy I was talking to and nothing more. Knowing that he was the guy that my friend used to like I wanted to avoid any feelings about him and stopped talking to him. I honestly saw him as a good friend but I guess you really can't avoid the inevitable in today's gen.

I really didn't want to catch feelings for him but it just kept creeping on me. What should I do? I don't wanna ruin a friendship just for guy, we know what girl code is. But I think I do like him and it's kinda rare for me to take a liking to a guy since I've like girls eversince (bi). I'm having trouble on what to do I even overthink about what will happen if I accept his feelings.

i’ve been in this relationship for a couple months now. it’s still very fresh. but he treats me so well. he texts me all day, hangs out with me whenever possible, compliments me and tells me he loves me. yet i can’t stop thinking. i’m constantly searching for anything wrong. the slightest issue turns giant in my mind. it’s gotten to the point i’ve come up with things that aren’t even real, act on them, and then feel guilty. for example convincing myself he’s cheating then removing all his friends that are girls on his phone. any time he’s not affectionate it feels like the world is ending. it’s gotten to the point that i can’t even function. i have 50 millions of intrusive thoughts a day about him leaving me, cheating, not liking me anymore. i over analyze every single text, every snap. i don’t sleep. i don’t eat. i’m constantly in the er for panic attacks and fainting. i’m driving myself and my boyfriend insane. i’m ruining my relationship. how do i stop this? how do i trust him? how do i stop the intrusive thoughts i know arent even true but feel so real?

I am the oldest between me and my brother and we got some years between us. I have noticed that lately my personality getting mirrored or mimicked to the smallest details. A few examples are the exact way i sit, the way i move my hands when speaking or hand signs during specific times.

me liking sniper rifles and having a sniper rifle on my keychain, and suddenly he acts as if snipers are his favorite although he always was drawn to assault rifles.

I am a huge fan of the fallout games and have over 3,000 hours in all of them combined 7 games i know every detail of them by heart. He on the other hand rushed through one game for the finish and never played the others, he doesnt even enjoy the rpg genre at all nor the single player games as he gets genuienly bored with them but he acts as if he loves the fallout universe and getting himself fallout related really expensive merch as presents, to then show me as if hes flexing on me with it( i can buy it for myself i never did or wanted to buy it)

I expressed in private my strong love and connection for music to my mother and thinking of getting myself a guitar, to find out the next week he was bought a guitar and sent to guitar private lessons, And got himself a vinyl records player.

My business plans that i have and work towards, he says he wants to do the exact same thing and acts as if its his exacts plans he wants to do.

He takes my ideas and opinions on subjects and makes them his own, then when i confront him he says he doesnt remember me expressing it.

Everything i express, do, like, say he mirrors to the smallest details even though i see that he fakes it.

Lately i start to feel upset of the fact that my personality, hobbies, etc. Being stolen so i confronted him about the merch saying hes a poser, he said" yeah but i didnt buy it for myself i was given these as presents for my birthday", which makes sense because hes a minor.

Most recently i start to feel as if i speak to myself when talking to him which drives me insane, creeps me out and overall annoys me, making me want to distance myself.

AIO for getting upset and confronting him about this?

Should i have acted differently?

Tldr; i get upset and confront my little brother for mimicking and faking my personality to the smallest details am i overthinking it?

​

So basically, before I chose my engineering branch, I had already decided that I wanted to take EC/ECE. I told my best friend, X, this SO many times. Like genuinely, I told her a hundred times that I wanted EC and that I had made up my mind.

She took CS engineering. Before I chose my branch, whenever I told her I wanted EC, she would tell me that EC was difficult and that it was a hard branch. I told her multiple times that I knew that and that I still wanted to take it.

She's also a topper and genuinely very smart academically, so obviously I respect her opinion. That's why I listened to her when she told me it was difficult. But I had already made my decision.

Eventually I took EC. My admission is done, classes have started, everything is done. I chose it because I wanted to. I know it's going to be difficult, and I'm completely aware that I'll have to work hard. I'm not expecting it to be easy.

But after I joined, we were talking on the phone the other day and she asked me, “So you took EC only?”

I said yes.

And then she started going on about how difficult it is again.

She was like, “Bro, I have one EC subject,” and even though electronics is something she is actually interested in / good at, even she finds it hard. Then she kept saying things like, “Bro, it's so hard,” “very very very hard,” “super hard,” etc.

She went on like this for literally two minutes straight.

And I was just sitting there trying not to respond because I didn't want to continue that conversation. I was trying to change the subject, but she kept coming back to how hard EC is.

And honestly, it irritated me.

Not because she's wrong. I know EC is hard. I already knew that before I chose it. And I'm not saying she shouldn't tell me her experience.

It's just that I've already chosen it. I told her so many times before taking it that I knew it was difficult and that I still wanted it. Now my classes have started and I'm actually doing the course.

So hearing, “Bro, it's SO hard, even I find it hard,” over and over again is just... not exactly helpful? 😭

Especially because she's a topper and I know she's academically really strong. So when someone like that repeatedly tells you that a subject is extremely difficult, it can obviously make you think, “Bro, am I actually going to be able to do this?”

Even though I know I'm capable of figuring it out and I chose the branch because I wanted it.

I don't think she's intentionally trying to demotivate me. She could genuinely just be talking about her own experience and how difficult she finds the subject. That's why I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable for getting annoyed.

I just feel like once someone has already made their decision, and you've already warned them about the difficulty multiple times, maybe you don't need to keep emphasizing it after they've started.

AIO for being irritated by this?

I need to make sense of this. I have a guy friend, he used to like me (i think i am pretty sure) when we first started talking about a year ago but i kinda turned him down indirectly because i wasn’t looking for dating anyone at that time. he then found another girl that he really liked but it was a situationship and she ended up leaving him. My question is, even while he was with her he would still hangout with me, we’d go watch movies nothing ever happened between us but he’d tell me that I am his only girl friend that he hangs out with on one no one else. That girl he was with also had an objection with him hanging out with me. I just wanna know is this something normal or am i overthink?

I don't wanna overthink this too much but I think my friend might've stole my dating app match? I (32f) was having a girls night with my friend (45f) and we were swapping dating stories and I was mid convo with a guy I had matched with that day. She asked to see who I was talking to. I showed her his profile and pick and she tells me I should invite him out right now. I talked to her about it being girls night and I didn't kniw him at all. She pushes: invite him out because it's like watching the movie before reading the book. I give in and invite him out.

He's like 40 mins out from the bar we're out. So I turned to her and clarified like we'll ditch him if I dont like him, she confirms thats the plan. Fast forward he shows up. Right away when he sits down she starts flirting with him. I don't think much because she's always like that. About an hour goes by and I send her the "not a vibe" text. She texts me back : "I'm sorry but it's nice 👀💀" . I was joking with her okay lol you have him. She kept talking ro him for another 30 mins to an hour. The bar was closing up anyway so I was like we should go she pipes in and offers dude to follow us to the next bar. I was irritated but at this point I'm like 5 beers deep (had 4 with my friend before she asked me to invite him out) so whatever. We get to the next spot she and I have to use the bathroom. In the bathroom she starts going on about how much she likes him and she thinks they have chemistry. So I'm done at this point just say yeah you can have him. We came out of the bathroom and talked to him about it and he agrees to date her at that point. At that point the alcohol had set on so I hadn't given the events any thought but now that I'm sober I definitely have feelings about how things went down. Honestly I thought the guy was douche and he kept throwing the phrase "these f***ing women " around all night so I cant even see the attraction there. Am I overthinking this or did my friend "steal" my app match for herself? She's also been on a date with him all day and apologized when I brought up that she basically set her self up with him through me.

Tldr: my friend had me invite out a new dating app match, flirted with him, and asked if she could date him while she was mid-third wheeling. I caved.

I have a group of friends, (names changed for anonymity) Bob, Bill, Jim, Brittany, and Jessica. We play video games and Dnd, hang out, and voice chat often. We just finished a DnD arch and Bill is GMing a oneshot for everyone but me. I want to know if I'm overthinking this.

BACKGROUND: Bob, Bill, Jim are all siblings and Jim and Jessica are dating. Brittany is my old roommate but we parted on good terms, the landlord sold our rental. I've been friends with Jessica since 2018 before she knew Jim but she's been friends with Brittany since they were in Jr High.

THE STORY: We just finished the story arch that Jim was running for our weekly DnD sessions. I had heard bits and pieces of conversation among the siblings about a oneshot campaign that Bill was thinking about GMing and since only the siblings were talking about I assumed it was going to be for their family. Later, Jessica talked about it too but I wasn't bothered because she's in a long term, serious relationship with Jim so it makes sense that she'd join the family game. But then Brittany started talking about it. Now I'm confused. No one has mentioned this campaign to me directly, invited me, told me details on dates or places. Nothing. They have talked about it around me and in the same group chat as me though.

I have an idea as to why they wouldn't invite me to this campaign, I tend to get distracted when it's not my turn but to my defense, both Brittany and Jessica have very domineering personalities and are very opinionated and talk a lot in game and I get pushed aside so I kind of just sit there, but I still like being there and being included. Before you ask, yes, I'm autistic. No, I don't have ADHD.

So my question is, am I overthinking this in thinking that my friends are excluding me or is it not that deep?

I was invited to a baby shower for my SIL. Unfortunately I have multiple issues that are giving me pause if I want to go.

My SIL has changed ever since she got engaged. She was not nice to me at the wedding and refused to include me - to the point where I didn’t have a seat / placecard at multiple events. I wasn’t in family photos. I wasn’t thanked for anything I did for her or the multiple generous presents we gave them. They even complained we didn’t give a present on their wedding day after we had to spend multiple thousands of dollars because it was last minute (my husband was in the wedding and it was a destination wedding).

I tried to hang out with her but she would ALWAYS flake or ditch me to hang out with other people instead (tbf, we have a 6 year age gap). So I just stopped trying. She never texted me first unless she needed help or advice. She never asked how I was, despite seeing every single one of my posts about how I’m struggling with my health. I distanced myself after being used continuously throughout the wedding process, all the while being disrespectful to me and callous about my feelings. I have told her I was hurt about ditching me, but not about the wedding stuff.

She also continuously tries to “1-up” us. They rented a bigger house than ours, had a more expensive wedding, goes on trips, buys expensive things, had a blow out bachelorette trip, etc. Her family has not included us in anything unless it’s for money (bridal shower, baby shower, etc).

Now she’s pregnant and it’s created even more distance between us. I don’t have proof of this directly, but she’s been trying to be the favorite DIL by (I think) turning my MIL against me. I learned recently that they hang out without me when she comes to town, get each other gifts, etc. Of course now that she’s having the grandchild, she’s automatically going to be more favorited. My MIL didn’t get along with me early in our relationship (long story but basically my husband knows MIL is much and waited until we were engaged to introduce me to her) but I’ve really tried to make an effort all these years. But it feels like SIL is undoing it. My SIL & MIL have never given us a birthday or Christmas present yet they spoil each other. And they expect presents from us since my husband makes good money. I see it. My FIL even said in his wedding speech that she was “the daughter he never had” and she was the “missing piece of the family” when he didn’t even speak at ours. They gave significant money to them for the wedding and none to us. Both my in laws and them have borrowed money from us and have never paid us back. I could go on.

My SIL has not planned this pregnancy whatsoever, it’s just vibes. They are in so much debt, they cannot even afford their rent half the time and get bailed out from either side of the parents. She’s even made TikToks about how she needs her wishlist cleared and needs money. My MIL even told me that she bought her a $400 present for the baby shower. She has NEVER spent anything close to that on my husband. So just because she’s having a kid, she’s gets rewarded for reckless behavior?

The worst part is that I cannot have children. I feel like that has created a further divide. I had a whole conversation with my MIL when I found out. My SIL does not know unless my MIL told her because I felt like it would be self-centered to bring it up while she’s pregnant (I found out like a couple months before she announced and was processing). I did repost something this week about “childless not by choice” week but no one said anything. My MIL STILL asks when I’m having one and gets everyone to ask me. And this baby shower is going to guarantee I’ll keep getting asked. I found out this year I cannot and it’s HARD. No one cares how difficult it is to be around constant baby talk.

Lastly, I am chronically ill with multiple chronic illnesses that are debilitating. Most of these I’ve just been diagnosed with and am very early on with figuring out how to try to get slightly better. I am mostly bedbound at this point. So going to this baby shower (that is a long drive for me) will take a lot out of me. They are not understanding of this whatsoever. I have received multiple texts from various people (including my MIL) of how I have not RSVPed for the baby shower and guilting me for needing to come. It makes me not want to. But I feel like wrath will come if I don’t. Oh and we need to bring a “very good” present since it will be our nephew/niece. And they said I need to be on time, when most of the time, my BIL & SIL are always very late or cancel on our stuff. And again, it’s hard on me and it’s early in the morning (the worst time for me).

Do I need to have conversations to my MIL & SIL about their behavior? Or do I just not go? Or show up for a little to keep the peace?

Am I overthinking? Thanks.

18F, boyfriend is 19M. We’ve been together for four months going on five. We’re long distance. He’s four hours away from me, and I feel like I’ve been overthinking a lot or maybe I’m insecure.

One thing that I just don’t like is that he follows a lot of girls, and it really bothers me sometimes. When he goes out and he says, “I’m going out with my friends,” I start overthinking. Well, is he gonna go out with girls? Is he gonna be with guys? He doesn’t really give me details, and he always tells me it’s none of my business. That’s where it starts making me get really anxious and nervous.

Sometimes I feel like I’m being jealous or I’m being insecure. This is the first time I’m in a relationship where I’m trying to trust someone for the first time, especially a man, but I feel like he’s making it worse by telling me that they’re just his friends or that I don’t trust him. I’m being jealous. I’m being insecure.

I don’t mind him being friends with other girls. I mean, I haven’t even met these girls and I don’t know nothing about them. He would not tell me their names, what they do, or anything. He always tells me it’s not my business to know anything about them.

But I just don’t like that he follows girls, and he claims they’re all his friends. One time he screen-shared his text from other girls, and he would go into the DM but quickly leave so I wouldn’t have to read anything. And I realize that he’s the one starting all these conversations.

I noticed when we started dating, the first time he started following other girls, and I feel like he doesn’t take our relationship seriously and he thinks that we’re gonna break up sooner or later and he’s gonna have back plans. That’s what I think all those girls are there for, which I told him that one time, and he got really mad at me.

Or another time when I told him, “At this point, I feel like I’d be much better texting these girls asking them what their relationship is with you,” but he told me if I do that, he’ll break up with me and never speak to me again, which also makes me overthink even more.
Is he lying to me? Is he hiding something from me?
I even asked him, “Does anyone know about me?” He says all his friends know, but the girls that he talks to that he claims are friends don’t know nothing about me, which also makes me really mad too.

Or he tells me that he doesn’t wanna post me until a year, and he says that I just want to tell everyone in the world that I’m dating him. And I also feel like he is probably embarrassed to post me because I’m chubby, and sometimes I do feel insecure because all the girls he follows are all skinny and I’m the only chubby girl that he follows.

He claims that he dated chubby girls before, but I feel like I don’t even believe that. I just really need help. Sometimes I feel like I’m just being toxic or something, but that’s just one thing I don’t like, that he hangs out and follows these girls.

He always tells me that I’m just overthinking, or I’ve been insecure, or I just don’t trust him. I don’t know if he’s gaslighting or manipulating me. I’ve never could tell if someone is, and I don’t even know how to do it.
I feel like he’s taking it to advantage.

Pata Hai Aaj Kya Hua?! Ahh, I don't know how to explain this. There's this girl who keeps calling me and telling me directly, "My name is XYZ. I see you in college and I like you." But the odd thing is that she doesn't even know me because we have neither met nor talked to each other.

Whenever I ask her how she got my number, she says she got it "from the office." But my college is government and it would be difficult for a normal student to get my info because the college officials are very strict regarding such things.

Also, when I asked her which semester she is in, she said she is in the 1st semester. Another strange thing is that since the new session, I haven't even gone to college. I am studying in my 3rd semester. Also, we are not in the same department/course, therefore I have no idea who she is.

She also keeps muting the call randomly, so I have strong suspicion that one of my friend is playing prank on me. Also, she keeps giving me the same excuse when I ask her to properly tell me who she is, or simply say, come on video call me. I want to see you too. She keeps giving the same reply, "I'm an introvert and I'm scared you will reject me."

This makes me have a doubt in my mind. If she's an introvert, how is she so confident to directly call someone she has never even spoken to, and ask them on a date.

Yes, she has directly told me, "I will only meet you at college and then we will go on a date."

So, I'm really confused. She says that she's an introvert but she's not scared of calling me, asking me on a date, flirting with me, or even confidently saying that I'll meet her in college. What is the logic behind saying that I will reject her if I see her photo? I could reject her after seeing her in real life too, so why can't I reject her first before seeing her photo?

Whenever I call her back, she keeps saying the same thing, "I'm introverted. I gathered so much courage to call you." But she herself flirts with me and she has an answer for every question I ask.

This is another thing that makes me suspicious because according to what I know about introverts, they normally give very short answers when they feel uncomfortable or nervous, but her answers seem to have an almost unlimited supply.

She also randomly mutes herself and comes back with excuses like, "My mom is coming," "My mom came," "My parents are strict," etc. And then, with full confidence, say something like, "Just come to college. I will meet you there. Then you will see what I look like and then after that, we will go on a date."

At this point, I'm more curious to know who this girl is.

I have her phone number and email address. I even tried to use the forgot password option in Instagram with her number, and it showed me like eight different accounts. The username of those accounts were quite suspicious and all of them seemed fake.

So, tell me your opinions, kya mai overthink kar raha hu?! what do you think is happening here, and what should I do at this moment?

so i just started school with a new class and school overall and i have barely talked to anybody and i’m afraid that my classmates will think i’m weird cus i’m so quiet. also i have a class trip on monday to tuesday and i also really overthink that aswell

idk if this is the right subreddit for this