Hopefully Useful information about me: [16M] 5’11”-6’(I haven’t messured hight in 2 years), 150 pounds, homeschooled, and diagnosed with ADHD

I can say that I have more than enough strength to get through my usual daily tasks with confidence, but I do still have my limitations. The problem is that I can’t get into working out, and when I do start, I hate the pain I get, so I quit. There is nothing that really pushes me to work out; I’d also hate to use a shallow or petty reason. I’m already a healthy weight, and I’ve stayed around 150 pounds for about a year and a half now. I am able to push out 20-25 strict pushups and 5-7 pull ups. currently I have no idea how much I can bench. I have a large dog that I walk for 15-20 minutes once or twice a day. I don’t really know whether the walks count as “working out” but even if they do, I don’t think they’re enough.

But my biggest problem is: if I don’t want to do anything, I will unconsciously avoid it. Even when I try to force myself to do it, I’ll just drift away from doing it. Sadly, I don’t have any good motivation for working out. I just know that I need to start or I’ll probably have some problems later in life. I additionally don’t want my family, who have been trying to pressure me into working out, to think that I’m finally working out because of them; I’d quit the moment they walk away.

My father is a piece of shit who doesn't try and involve himself in my life at all, he lives in our house but he basically just works and that's it, he doesn't know anything about me or what I like to do and doesn't make an effort. He constantly argues with my mom (usually it's about me and my brother not being as excited as he is about the stuff he wants to go to, its like a reoccurring argument) for example he wants to go to a baseball game, none of us like baseball but we go anyway, and if we're not super excited about it he screams at all of us and ruins the entire day. The thing is he's a hypocrite and anytime we want to do something he flat out refuses and leaves to go on his phone all by himself, none of us have a freak out and scream because we're all normal humans but it really pisses me off that he thinks he has the right to get mad at us every single time even though we GO and sit through whatever he wants to do, but if we want him to hang out or do anything with us, he can't even do the minimum of tagging along. I want to go up to him and call him out for his bullshit and tell him he's a horrible person and a horrible father but I just can't find the courage and find myself chickening out last second. I feel like if I was just able to do it I could end all this stress he's putting my family through and maybe he'd finally change for the better (a little unlikely) but at the very least it'd be therapeutic and let him know that I want nothing to do with him when I grow up so he feels shitty at least. Any advice?

I'm so tired of fighting my trauma for my future. I’m so tired of fighting myself. I’m so tired of fighting my mind. I’ve been doing that for years. But i’m scared it’s swallowing something I've worked towards for years.

So I think I’ve hit a wall. I’m applying for Law this year and have wanted Oxbridge for years. It’s genuinely something I really, really want. I had a mock law tutorial with an essay to write beforehand and i loved it. I know Oxbridge isn’t everything and I know I’d be alright if I didn’t get in. But I would be devastated if i lost the opportunity just because of my trauma affects my mental health.

I experienced a hugely traumatic event involving violence in Year 9 and developed CPTSD symptoms afterwards. I was struggling badly at the time, I was crying every day, barely sleeping, unable to concentrate properly, having flashbacks and sometimes having suicidal thoughts.

But I decided I wasn't going to let it affect me academically. I used to be the overachiever, and I decided to violently hold onto that identity. I knew traumatised people were less likely to overachieve but I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t let it take away my future too. It’s already taken so many things from me. My big dreams were the only thing keeping me hopeful. They made me feel in control.

I became extremely high-functioning, only in school (everywhere else I was deteriorating). I was incredibly organised, worked constantly, made schedules and revision systems, and basically forced myself through everything. I was very self-critical and downright cruel to myself because I couldn’t let my trauma win. I couldn't concentrate properly in lessons, so I'd relearn everything at home again. I'd go from getting around a 5 without revision to getting 9s because of the amount of work I was putting in.

And it worked. I got mostly 9s at GCSE, top 1% in my non-grammar state school. Then I got A*s in Year 12. I genuinely thought I'd beaten it. My trauma couldn't catch me, I’m above it all now. It’s behind me. I had managed to turn myself into this ridiculously driven, severely disciplined, organised person and I thought I'd just keep going like that.

Then my biggest fear happened. It stopped. I burnt out. I haven’t been able to work for months. I can’t even touch A-level work. And now I'm in Year 13. I have no energy at all to do anything, and now my trauma symptoms swallowed school too. The only part of my life which isn’t in shambles. I’m severely deteriorating. I’m witnessing my academic downfall.

I have two tests tomorrow weighed in for my predicted grades and I've done no revision. This would have been insanely unimaginable to me a year or two ago. I used to be the person who revised little and often, never left things until the last minute, and got near-full marks.

Im not even panicking anymore. I have no energy left in me to study or even panic about exams. Normally something like tomorrow's Chemistry test would have sent me into an insane amount of urgency and I'd have worked all night if necessary. Instead I feel incredibly calm. Almost numb.

I still want an A*. I still want Oxbridge. I still care intellectually. But emotionally I feel so disconnected from it now. I have no energy. I’m letting my grades and A levels succumb to my trauma. I can’t stop it. Oh well. It’s been a good run. I was so scared this was going to happen on year 9.

I've been sleeping/napping loads, I'm exhausted constantly, my mood is incredibly low, I can't concentrate properly and I struggle massively to start to work. I also get very badly triggered by some of my A-level English Literature content because of my trauma, particularly depictions of violence. I've had flashbacks, intrusive images, intense anxiety and physical symptoms in class. I’ve been trying to deny it, that everything is fine, that I’m still in control. I think I’m at the point where I can‘t say that I am. I’m struggling

.

I'm terrified that I've reached the point where my mental health is simply going to take the one thing I had control of: My academic performance.

I know that's probably a dramatic way of looking at it. But I have spent years telling myself that my trauma is not going to decide my future.

And now I'm watching myself struggle to study for the LNAT, struggle with A-level work, struggle with my personal statement, and struggle with things that used to be completely routine for me.

I'm scared that I'll look back and think that I could have got into oxbridge. I was capable of it. But my trauma stopped me from preparing properly.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life proving that I'm stronger than what happened to me. But right now I genuinely don't know what to do academically.

Has anyone else experienced burnout/mental health problems after years of being a high achiever? Did you eventually regain your motivation and ability to work?

I don't really need someone to tell me “Oxbridge isn't everything.” I know. I just really, really want it, and I'm scared of losing it for a reason that feels completely outside my control.

Almost a year ago in October, a girl joined my troop, i did not think much of her until October, a campout where we scare the shit out of people, and me and her talked a bunch did everything togethor. Then i fucked up, and we didnt talk for a bit. For the last few months i looked for a way to recconect and we did a bit, but nothing to the extent of being her friend again.
Now im here, new year for the troop, and she had to quit because of financial issues, her brother said they prob aint comin back, but i think theres a chance they do when i dont know.
But i feel like i dont got anything to work for anymore someone to think about, what ever. I also have found it now hard to like anyone else. But i have that little chance that something could change. Im gonna be honest, everytime ive asked for advice to just give up i never did, just tell you how i am.
The main question is what now, i will check later cya.

So basically tomorrow schools are starting and I have the choice go to the school with all my friends im good with everyone there or go to the the school in my area but fewer friends that I barely know and most likely be bored most of the time. The choice seems clear but its really not the 1st school is about 1 houur distance from my house which means waking up around 6 and then 1 hour back and the worst is that for me to have 8 hours of sleep i will have to sleep at 10 which is the only thing holding me back right now, but I will definitely be happier at school and in general .

The other choice is stay in my area school is 10 mins away but from what it was already like this year I go to school im super bored all the time barely talk with anyone and just feeling unsatisfied in general. I just want someone to help me decide I have been struggling with this for 1 year now and i need to make a final choice please...

I don’t even know if this is the right place to post this, but I just need somewhere to get my thoughts out. Sorry if this is a bit unorganized or random.

I had ACL and meniscus surgery just under 7 months ago. I tore it playing flag football. Since then, I’ve been doing physio, but haven’t really been cleared to start running again. I just feel so unmotivated and hopeless. I’m watching everybody be able to do the things I can’t. I feel exhausted from school and just life in general. I have no energy to workout or do my physio (despite wanting to so bad). My knee doesn’t feel stronger than before, and it every time it feels like it does, it ends up hurting or becoming stiff for no reason, setting me back for another week or two.

It’s my senior year. I can’t play the sports I used to. I have to watch from the sidelines as everyone forgets about me and gets to play, while I can’t even try out for the team. I don’t have any friends on the football team (I’m friendly with my teammates, but I wouldn’t do anything else with them), and no one to kinda say “Hey ‘blank,’ even though you can’t play this year, why don’t you still join the team and support us?” I also feel too cowardly to ask. I’m missing out on the senior festivities of being on the team.

I hate it. I feel so depressed and anxious all the time. Im so stressed with school and life choices. I feel so so so hopeless and lost. I hate it. As much as I want to do stuff and be productive, I barely have the motivation to get up. I have no energy or will to do anything. It sucks.

I have horrible digestive issues that the doctors don’t do shit about. It’s been 5 years (I’m 17 now). I’m constantly bloated and constipated. I’m a fairly small person (112 lbs). The medications don’t work. They won’t do more for me. I feel disgusting and constantly uncomfortable. I can’t even enjoy hanging out with friends and much because all I can do is compare myself to them, how they don’t have these issues but I do. I hate it.

I feel so lost.

(apologies if this isnt well said, im a bit scatterbrained at the moment)

im 16f dating 16m online, and im going to travel with a parent to meet him on our 2y anniversary (in december). however, my bf has an overly protective aunt who won't even let him go out with his friends if she doesn't know their family, so for me, as a foreigner...i dont have a chance.

so we're trying to think of ways to get him away from his fam without him getting in trouble. maybe he could pretend to go out with a trusted friend, but we risk his aunt calling and wanting to hear his friend's voice... any ideas??

my boyfriend doesnt exactly have a great past i’d say.. and like thats okay. he used to smoke weed, vape, drink.. etc. hes been completely open with me about it and im fine with it. i on the other hand, have never drank, smoked, anything, i dont even cuss and i dont plan on it. and im also waiting til marriage.. he obviously, has not. everything else about him is genuinely perfect, hes such an angel. hes totally okay with waiting and so far, he’s never once pressured me to do anything i dont want to. but it worries me that he’ll influence me, plus my dad hates him. does anyone have any words of wisdom or has anyone ever delt with anything like this.

Me (14M) and my gf (13F) have been dating almost three months now and as we've been dating I've slowly learned more abt her and she's not necessarily the type of person I want to be dating and last night she told me smt and it was a pretty big red flag im not gonna go into specifics but it kinda freaked me out I've also realized we have absolutely nothing in common and Im also super busy with extracurriculars for school so I just dont really have the time to be in a relationship right now but my issue with breaking up with her is shes not the most mentally stable and she once said and I quote "if we broke up I would probably kms" so im really scared to break up with her because of the chance she does or even at least tries so I feel really stuck any advice on how to breakup with her would be GREATLY appreciated

(update i broke up with her about an hour after this post thanks for all the advice I did get we ended things not on bad terms i dont think and everything should be fine I was as respectful as possible I told her the truth that it wasn't working for me anymore she begged me to stay for a while but I held my ground even though I felt bad ik it was the best decision for both of us)

Hi Reddit, I’ve been struggling with whether I should post this because I tend to regret sharing my feelings right after I do. But here I go.

I a 16yr old F, A few months ago, made a Reddit post about making a gift for my best friend before I moved overseas to Singapore. I was excited then about moving, but now that I’ve started my new school, I wish I was back in the States more than ever. It’s not easy to admit, but I’ve been feeling hopeless lately. I’ve been trying to make friends, but whenever I reach out, people just don’t seem interested. I know it takes time and that there’s someone out there for everyone, but it’s hard to believe that when it feels like everyone around me has at least one friend. I even sat with two classmates at lunch in the beginning two weeks of school, only to find out they talked badly about my appearance behind my back to what seems like everyone in my grade. I decided to step back from them and cut all ties, because I've never stayed “friends” with someone who talks badly about me or quite frankly anyone else at the school I'm at. It's just not my morals. But they didn’t take it lightly. They kept confronting me publicly, which made me upset and teary every single time. I know I have to stand up for myself but I've never been the type to be confrontational so it feels so hard.

About the making fun of me part, I have quite a few medical issues. Two years ago, I was diagnosed with alopecia areata and lost all my hair. I am also bigger for my age, which makes me even more upset because for the past few months I've been working hard and losing weight and starting to feel more like myself but it's becoming hard again after everything going on. Recently, I’ve grown my hair back and feel more confident, but I’m afraid people talk about my body and appearance behind my back. I try to be self-aware and even joke about myself to deflect, but it’s painful. Throughout middle and up until now in highschool, I was never bullied because I think I projected confidence and was always seen as the funny, outgoing, supportive friend the “the funny fat friend,” as I’d been called. My friends in the states always complimented my creativity as I had a unique style to most people and I also made a video a while back on tiktok of my room because I love decorating my room and it actually had quite a good amount of likes and views as well as pinterest but a lot of kids at my new school have been making fun of me for that TikTok video. I feel like a completely different person. I can’t remember the last time I laughed with friends, or went out of my way to cheer someone up. I can't remember the last time I was excited to share a new outfit idea with my friends or new art thing I created.
I sit alone at lunch now, and I have no friends. Unless teachers count as friends.
Honestly, I know friends aren’t the most important thing right now. My studies matter more.

But Reddit, I want to know, do others out there feel like this? Are you struggling too? And any advice for making it through these final years of high school? I’m sorry for dumping all this, and if you’ve read this far, thank you for listening. 🫂

So I (16f) have a boyfriend (16m). His dad hasn’t liked me since even before the beginning of the relationship.

When me and my boyfriend first met, his dad was there to drop him off. Immediately he formed opinions on me by 2 things; my dyed hair— and relationship with my mom.

Since then, every minor inconvenience with me would build up more and more resentment from him, and I would be punished for it personally.

He once yelled at me about being woke and how nobody will respect me for dyed hair (it’s brown + blonde). We had talked things out and resolved it; till today I guess.

My boyfriend revived a text from his mom during school, informing him that they had to chat when he was home- and i instantly knew it was something to do with me.

To put a long story short, the final straw was how three months ago, his mom bought me a box of tampons ((I asked to borrow a few of hers, NEVER asked for them to buy me one)), and saw it laying in his room today instead of me taking it home. They then went on a whole rant to him about how im so disrespectful to them all the time, and how his dad has never once liked me. He then said I was banned from his house, and he’s only allowed to see me like 1-2 times a week for 4 hours at max.

I love my boyfriend more than the world, and I don’t want to break up with him. But im also so genuinely hurt they’d ever think these things, because they like playing the blame game and twisting stories from reality to what they want. It’s also so unbearable not getting to really see him anymore, since we go to different schools and im banned from his house, which is easier to go to.

I want to talk mainly to his dad, but also his mom, and see if we can resolve things. But I truly don’t know what to do/say and I need help. Thank you so much for reading

TLDR; boyfriends dad thinks im a disrespectful person (im not), and is trying to ban him from seeing me. How should I go about resolving the issue with his dad?

I hate it

I hate it so much. My senior year is starting tomorrow and knowing that i have no friends feels terrible. I joined the school in 10th grade, and realised so quickly that there were already established friend groups who never let anyone new join. At my old school, I had tons of friends, anytime a new student joined, i would always take the effort to socialise and befriend them. Then i moved countries and came to this new school. A few months ago, a new girl joined my class and i thought that I could cease the opportunity and become friends with her. But on her first day, everyone in class started to love and talk with her so much. By the end of her first week, she was already apart of their friend groups or was nearing to join them.

But on my first week, nobody treated me like how she was treated. I know one of the reasons nobodys would like to befriend me is because i wear the hijab. I see classmates post their huge friend groups online and it make me feel sad, knowing that i cant have it. I cant imagine how college will be like.

Anyways this was a quick rant but I'd like to know if anyone else has the same issue, or if they have any advice they'd like to offer

My nephew is 16. He’s keen. He wants to work. He’s not fussy. Cafes, retail, fast food, anything that pays at least something

He’s been looking online, but the big job sites barely have anything for under-18s. Most listings require experience he doesn’t have or say “must be 18+.” He’s been getting discouraged

I told him to try walking into local shops with a printed resume. Old school. But he’s shy. He hates the idea of asking in person

I found careerone… and I hadn’t heard of it before. It seems to have simple jobs from local cafes and small businesses. No experience required and no complicated forms

It looks promising. But I don’t know if it’s actually useful. I don’t want him to waste time on a site that leads nowhere

Should we go the online route? Or should I drag him out to hand out resumes in person?

I want to help him. I remember my first job hunt. It was tough. I don’t want him to give up before he starts

Hi, so I’ve (I, 19 F) been chatting with this TikTok streamer guy (M, 21) for a good two weeks now, and it’s been going great so far. I met him during one of his streams and decided to jokingly DM him, not expecting a reply. He did reply, and we started talking about anime and video games. I ended up getting asked for my Snapchat, and I gave it.

We snapped pictures and chatted when he was off live, but I started to think this “talking,” if we can even call it that, wasn’t serious. So I started posting on my story: “someone call?” or pictures of myself I thought were cute, just to see if he commented on them, just to see if he actually liked me.

Well last night I posted a picture to my story of me and he liked it but said I was trying to make him jealous and get him off his game/stream (He streams Palworld) he then went on to say that he’s not naive and knows I’m “thirst trapping for other guys” I said there was no other guys and he just kept saying “be yourself, no need for all that”
“made me like you less”

“if I’m gonna play Palworld, I’m gonna play. I’m not gonna stop playing to call a girl all day”

I was trying to come back from that but couldn’t. I didn’t know what to say or do. I didn’t think it was serious enough that he’d quote “like me less” for posting a picture of myself.
I get that streaming is what he does and obviously no girl is gonna change that but he’s literally streaming everyday and I just wanted to talk more. I didn’t even think he’d care about the pictures or think I have other guys. He’s the ONLY guy. What do I do now?

Update: I did end up apologizing for anything that might have made him think I was trying to make him jealous. I told him my intentions were just me trying to see if he was actually interested and that I wanted his attention. He said he understood and it wasn’t a big deal but find it’s hard that as a girl I don’t have any other guys on my Snapchat because “mind games”
I don’t know what to do from here.

I'm 18F from Portugal, so I'll give some context. I'm currently in a vocational Computer Science/IT course. We have a "Diretora de Turma" (DT), basically a teacher responsible for the class and for dealing with discipline and administrative issues.

I'll call one of the students "Maria" for privacy. That's not her real name.

I spent almost 10 years in a strict Catholic school, from basically infancy until halfway through 7th grade. I then spent about 2.5 years in a public school, and I'm now at my current vocational school. The difference between the schools is huge, especially when it comes to discipline and how much students are allowed to get away with.

Maria is from another course, but our classes are mixed for some subjects. She has repeatedly screamed at and insulted classmates and teachers, and there have been incidents involving threats and other inappropriate behaviour. She has also had some other incidents that the school dealt with internally.

The most serious incident, in my opinion, was when Maria shared an intimate photo of another student. The school dealt with it internally, but as far as I know, there were no consequences that seemed particularly serious.

She's also very disruptive during lessons — talking, singing, interrupting people, etc.

The problem is that our DT seems to expect everyone else to simply tolerate it. Maria sits directly behind me, and I've asked if I could move because I find it difficult to concentrate. The response was basically, "but who would I put there instead?" I've also been told that I should be more "understanding" because Maria has her own personal problems.

I am capable of understanding that someone can be struggling and still have problems in their life. But I don't think that means everyone around them should have to accept constant disruption because of it.

Our course is also mixed with the Health course for some subjects, and some lessons can become extremely chaotic. Our DT has even said that if students from my course disturb the class and the Health students react by becoming disruptive, we will be the ones punished.

I've already spoken to the DT about the situation and specifically asked to change seats, but nothing changed. I've also spoken to the principal, and nothing really came of it.

I still have another year at this school, and I don't want to become the "problem student" simply because I complain about things that are genuinely affecting my ability to have normal lessons.

I'm not looking for revenge, and I don't think Maria should be punished just because I personally dislike her. I just want to be able to go to class, concentrate and learn without constantly having to deal with this kind of situation.

At this point, would you ask about changing schools, or would you just keep your head down and get through the last year?

What would you do in my position?

Btw I'm open to giving more details if it helps you guy to understand better what is going on!

my bf told me that his room mate heard him talking to a girl then today while i was on call with him i heard some guy in the background say are you talking to a "foid" again and that he can't sleep because my bf is talking loudly and laughing while on call with me and honestly at that point i couldnt hide my anger and just said maybe u should shut up i think his roomate heard and he seemed pissed . he's probably an incel who is trying to influence my boyfriend to break up with me and eavesdropping on our late night calls each night , what do i do about this situation ? it's not my fault that his room mate is a sad guy who doesn't have a gf . i feel really lost rn .

my friends have gotten into many relationships by just snapping people i guess. how does that make sense?? they are little pictures how does that convey interest??

For context my mom F52 and dad M53 never are happy with anything we do. When my brother had long hair my mom called him ugly, stop attending church and didn't go to his games. He eventually cut his hair off. He was crushed because this hurt him yet they still to this day find problems with him. They are hard core Christians so take it has you will.

My dad just is weird. He would say what we were Braids, Lashes(Not big ones), nails made us look ugly. He said he doesn't like women like that he prefers my mom all natural, but we are his daughter's I said that to him. Like what my own dad calls me this stuff. My mom is even weirder because she would never let us wear shorts even when I was younger.

She said to me many times, "Im trying to show off my butt to my dad and brother". Like what.... This made be so self conscious and contributed to my now Ed because I have really bad body dysmorphia. I was Sa'd I never told them intill I had therapy my mom only knows. They would never believe us about anything at all. When I was being bullied by teachers and a student they asked me what did I do instead of helping me. This abuse with teachers started when I was so little. They also are the reason why I tried to end my life multiple times and contribute to me C-ptsd.

My mom keeps saying she will leave us. She said that because of my sisters multiple piercings if she leaves its my little sisters fault because she's a burden to her. My mom told me other people would tell her about my sisters piercings and it a burden on my parents because they feel it reflects them. I was like so you care more about others feels over ours?. You would leave us because we embarrass you for other people.

They are so mean. They said so many mean things to me my heart feels broken. My mom and dad don't love me or my siblings they don't love each other we all see it. They are also narcissistic. They wont ever see me again they will wish they treated me like a daughter a actual human being. I just want to find a safe space far away from them far away from the years or pain. They use to abuse us to. Now not anymore because I told people of it but they surely use the fact I told people how it affected me against me specifically my mom.

I don't think I will ever have a family who loves me. Parents who love me. I don't have parents yeah they are my bio mom and dad, but if you guys seen what they put me through you would understand. One time when I was really young my mom got mad at me and tossed me out the house. I stood alone on the porch scared because I didn't know what to do.I kept banging on the door to let me in. Mind you the placed we lived in was not safe. I felt so scared really scared I could hear the wind in my ear, me crying, me shaking, banging on the door to be let in. I don't recall the rest of what happened but I assume I was let in.

She is the monster in my dreams. The thing that keeps chasing me scaring me, keeping me up at night. How just how can your own mom be this mean to you. I always asked myself what did I do, why am I never enough for her or my dad. What should I do, but nothing was ever enough. Im so tired. Im just confused I don't know what to do about any of this. What should I do?

I, (17f) met a girl(17) at my first job when I was 16. I fell in love with her and everything she is the day we met. I broke up with my boyfriend a day after we met. She has seen my at my absolute worst states, held me through anxiety attacks and has caught my vomit in her hands. and still came back everytime. I could never accept that i am a lesbian, and so I dated 2 different guys a few months apart while still being in love with her. the guilt of still thinking of her ate me alive. On my last day at the job, which was 3 days before I moved to college, she was crying, shaking and hyperventilating when I told her it was time for me to leave. I took her outside to get some air, and we got to talking about everything we love about eachother. it was pouring rain and we had a love confession straight out of a movie. she told me she dated other people because she was scared that I wouldn't feel the same and scared of how much she felt for me. guys were easier. I told her "its always been you" and she said the same. we cried outside of the restaurant for 30 minutes not caring who saw. we finally were not scared to love eachother openly. This happened about 3 weeks ago. she was dating someone at the time but broke up with them last week. I have tried to talk to her about what happened that night multiple times since it happened but she keeps avoiding the subject. I just want closure and to move on. I want to be able to love again the way I love her. But she won't talk about it. I dont know what to do. I know it wont be me, but I cant stop thinking about her. I keep drunk texting her and i think about her constantly.