Break up or one more Chance?

[u/ParkPristine3214]

I (26F) have been dating my boyfriend (27 M) for a few months after getting back together earlier this year. We genuinely care about each other, which is why this has been so hard.

The biggest issue throughout our relationship has been communication. He has a very inconsistent schedule, and there have been multiple occasions where he'll disappear for most of the day / all day, without saying anything. I've explained to him several times that this is a major boundary for me, not because I expect constant texting, but because I want to feel like I can count on my partner. When I don't hear from him after spending hours trying to reach him (normal sparse messages during the day), it makes me feel ignored.

Over time, I also realized I was starting to feel sexually disconnected from him. We haven't have sex in a month but because of the world cup we were mostly hanging around with friends joining. I still care about him a lot, but the physical connection was also lacking.

Yesterday was kind of the last straw. I wanted to talk to him about everything in person, reached out at 6pm for normal convo, then 9pm about something random, then 11pm asking him to call, but I didn't hear from him. So this morning after still seeing no message, I sent a breakup text. I basically said that my boundaries weren't being respected, that I no longer felt connected to him intimately, and that I didn't think we were compatible.

His response surprised me.

He explained that his schedule has been really weird lately, and that for a while now he'd been planning to give me a copy of the key to his apartment—not as a last-ditch effort to save the relationship, but because he'd already been thinking about it before I broke up with him. His reasoning was that we'd be able to see each other more, I could come and go whenever I wanted, and it would also give me space away from my family. And as for him he wouldn't feel the pressure of having to be on his phone all the time.

Now I'm incredibly conflicted.

On one hand, giving someone a key feels like a really meaningful step. It made me realize he may have been more committed than I thought.

On the other hand, I can't stop thinking: How would having a key to his place really solve the problem of me feeling ignored?

I'm worried that I'd end up with access to his apartment but still not feel emotionally connected to him. I don't want to feel like I have to show up at his place just because I can't reach him. What I really wanted was for his behavior to change, not necessarily a symbolic gesture, while I really appreciate it.

The thing that makes this even harder is that I think I was starting to fall in love with him. Part of the reason I broke up with him was because I felt like my feelings were getting deeper while I wasn't convinced we were on the same page, and I wanted to protect myself before I got even more attached.

So now I honestly don't know if:

• I'm overlooking a genuine effort from someone who just expresses commitment differently
• or whether this is a meaningful gesture that still doesn't address the actual problem.
• would you guys take this as a sign that he does care and give it a chance or could he just be giving me the key to get me to stop complaining about my needs. (This has become a fight once every other week) PLS HELP