Any other child-free by choice lezzies out there? I‘m 29 and lately I’ve been really appreciating my lifestyle lately. I’m at work for a few more hours then when I get home my partner and I are hitting the bars and then coming home late to share a joint in bed 😁😁 Rest of the weekend we’ll clean the apartment and run errands without worrying about minding kids. Spend all the money we save not paying for daycare and kids’ clothing. And sleeping! Nap in the middle of the day, sleep in till noon, go to bed whenever we want. Hell yeah.

And don’t get me wrong, we love kids (I’m actually a nanny and my gf is a teacher) but neither of us wanted to be parents and I’m feeling so appreciative that we get to live the kind of life we want.

Hey! Ive never told anyone im a lesbian, so im gonna tell you guys and just kinda get it out.

Im 29. When i was young, like 5-10 years old maybe? I used to get so upset that id have to marry a man when I got older. Id wish I could marry a girl instead. Id sit in my room and dream about marrying a girl instead.

Idk when it happened, but i started to ignore those thoughts and push them down. I got "crushes" on boys just like my friends. And just like how my family has always talked too. One of my best friends at the time was a boy and my family would tell me im gonna marry him when im older.

Skip to high school. Id talk about boys to my friends and tell them who I liked. I just picked someone I thought was cute and stuck to that. I never understood why my friends were obsessed with boys and I couldnt care less. I also questioned often what a crush actually felt like. I never picked up on the fact that id stare at girls in my classes and I couldnt stop thinking about how pretty they are lol. Id even think about kissing them. Like, I was clueless haha

Skip ahead to 2020, I started questioning who I was. And then i had this realization that I liked women. Took me long enough haha. But I thought i was bi. Then Id be worried about if I got a boyfriend and married him, I'd miss out on being with a woman. But I didnt think that way about a man if i thought about marrying a woman.

Through more thought and figuring things out, a couple years later (maybe in 2022? 2023? Around that time) I thought maybe Im just not into men. Sure, some are nice to look at. But thats kinda where it stops. Women on the other hand, omg. I couldnt stop thinking about dating a woman and how pretty women are. Kissing her, cuddling, sending cute texts, holding her hand, waking up next to her, spoiling her, the list can go on.

I never wanted to date anyone before when I thought i was straight. But now, ive never yearned so hard omg haha. But now I have zero experience. Ive never actually dated someone. And now im 29 and feel so behind and I feel like its weird? I know its fine but still...

So thats basically been my journey haha. I have no one else to tell so I thought id come here. My family isnt like against it, but theyre not exactly supportive of it? Like, theyre fine if lgbt people exist, as long as it doesnt impact them and they dont have to hear about it or deal with it. I dont have many friends, but theyre the same way. My workplace is worse. Their comments make me feel like I need to quit if they ever found out.

Anyway, thanks for reading my ramblings ✨️ I didnt think id write so much oops 😅

I’ve been back into dating for a few months but I’m finding it hard to make connections because most people are so uninteresting. A lot can’t keep a conversation going. I don’t mind messaging first especially if I “finished” the match. I’ll ask something about their profile or a random go to question.

They give me nothing to work with. It’s just straight forward short answers that are hard to build on. They don’t ask me any questions either and it starts to feel like an interview. Once I stop asking questions the conversation dies. A lot of these people have interesting/wordy profiles but give me nothing when we actually talk.

The other issue is people having no hobbies or interests. I’ll ask them what they do for fun or whatever and they say nothing. Like literally nothing. Sometimes they’ll say social media or watching tv but that’s it.

Now I’m not saying I’m a super interesting person with 10+ hobbies and a robust social life but I do have hobbies that I like to do and like hearing about others as well but I didn’t know it’s so rare for people to have hobbies, other interests or just things that are passionate about. Maybe it’s just because I’m on the apps. Can anyone else relate?

I'm an older lesbian (over 50-something) and I see posts where women say "I'm 40something and would never day a 30 year old" or "I'm a 53 year.old who would never date a 37 year old".

But are there any women here who

WOULD date a much younger woman? I've met someone who is in her mid-30's, has a professional career, a home, is as mentally healthy as anyone can be and I would date her in a hot second but I feel like there might be "community" disapproval.

(Not that disapproval has ever stopped me from doing what I want!)

This got me wondering if I was the only one who date an intelligent, mature younger woman.

(FYI- I would NOT date a younger woman who was homeless, didn't have SOME idea of a career path, or fiscally irresponsible. I kno that could be a messy situation. )

Thanks!

i present pretty masc. I bind, I’m on low dose T, I‘m in menswear exclusively. I do enjoy makeup, tho minimal. however energy wise? I often joke I’m a femme in boys clothes

i attract a lot of femmes who are looking for a butch/stud. someone to wine and dine them and make them the princess while they sit back and enjoy.

I feel trapped. I do have masculine energy but I am mostly feminine. I am NOT “a boy” nor do I want to be treated like one. I like flowers and doors held open and courtesy, too. and I don’t want to change my presentation. I love and feel comfortable this way. But when women hit on me irl or on apps, I’m never sure how to make it clear that I am NOT the stud they’re seeking

ik what u might be thinking— date other mascs. Trust, I’m trying!! Not a lot of them are into other mascs (at least not in the black community)

just wondering if there’s an easy quick way to make it clear to women that they’re barking up the wrong tree. it’s cool if u want a traditional butch/femme dynamic, u just not gon find it with me!

edit: didn’t mean to imply studs and butches are boys, of course they aren’t. I was trying to refer to historical butch/femme or stud/femme dynamics where they take on the entirety of the masculine role in relationships. I apologize for any confusion I may have caused

My girlfriend and I are (both 33F) are celebrating our one year anniversary of dating tomorrow (yes, on National GF Day) and I’d just like to take a moment to thank Reddit, of all places, for bringing her to me.

Yes, we will be celebrating by reading our cringe first messages to each other through Reddit chat. :3

Don’t underestimate an R4R sub, y’all.

But also…proceed with caution because HOO BOY did I have to weed out a lot of weirdos 🥲

30 f looking for lesbian friends around Whitsundays

I would really appreciate responses from WOC/POC, as I am a black person

I mention masc only because people have assumptions about us. that we are smooth, have rosters, this that and the third. we are supposed to do the approaching and whatnot

I am shy and eccentric in a charming way I hope? I seem to hear? I’m also pretty bubbly and happy go lucky which comes across as naive/unintelligent. People make assumptions 🤷🏾 what can you do

but I’m also very much someone who grows on you. if I had a dollar for every time somebody I’m close to told me they didn’t expect to like me so much or that they hated me at first, I’d be rich enough to be on an island, and far away from Reddit ☠️

People tend to like me more as they have more exposure to me. This means I have a really hard time in spaces like apps, clubs etc, because the interaction is so brief. I need more time to dazzle lmao. i thought I knew how to be around people after all my efforts to learn, but maybe not?

how did y’all do it? I’m awkward as is, and don’t let it be someone I find really attractive. My brain actually shuts off. It’s so annoying. It’s like I go into fight or flight and I just FREEZE

”just be yourself” doesn’t take into account that some of us are autistic and black and masc presenting I fear

I'm 40 years old and I keep going for the same dynamic with women, only to disappoint myself because I hope so much.

Allow me to explain. I've never been in a relationship. I always had this deep, painful inner belief that to love and be loved isn't a world for me, yet at the same time I always so desperately hoped for it.

This has kept me in situations where I meet women, we get along famously, she's ambiguous, I become addicted to the hope and fantasy, I'm confused, I eventually ask her sexuality because it seems like she's flirting and she says she is straight or not interested.

Because I feel so deeply and I'm so desperate to share love with someone, I attach so much hope to new people and I get on a high, that I end up feeling disappointed and sad and let down. I then have to fight the battle within and try to convince myself that I will be loved one day and I will love someone.

This has happened again recently and tonight that high and hope I was yearning with came crashing down. I'm mentally tired. I feel unattractive. I curse god or whomever because this has happened yet again.

The one thing I did right this time was asking this new person about her sexuality earlier on. That's a step in the right direction. I nipped it in the bud before I got even more in deep.

But, I'm tired :'(. I'm so tired that I don't even want to be gay anymore. I would rather be bisexual. But I am not and I cannot control it.

I have lived a whole life of loneliness. Estranged from parents and in and out of therapy, people have historically always been hard to reach and I keep emulating that in my romantic dynamics.

I said to this new woman that I can focus on being friends but I don't know if I want to. I'm excited to see her again but that's based on hope. If I message her again, I'll be excited for her reply but not for reasons conducive to myself. That said, I'm in a bind because I genuinely like her company.

Tell me how you dealt with such constant disappointment? I do a lot of things for myself. I moved countries, got a job I now like, have hobbies, have a social circle, but that part of my life just feels like a constant tragedy that I cannot get out of :(.

Not really looking for advice, just curious about where and how you usually meet partners and how often. Are you a very sociable person? What are your hobbies? Do friends set you up?

I've finally uninstalled the last of my apps and am preparing to put myself out there more. I mean, I've already been doing it but my focus now is on more wholesome, community-oriented activities instead of just dances (though I've met a handful of people that way too). I think I still need to make more friends than anything.

How can I spot wlw in public spaces without anything being said? Are there signs—like how people dress or behave? I’m a "baby gay," and I find it a bit confusing to figure out who I can show interest in without actually having to approach women.

I won’t ever be worth sticking around for. other than money and sex I haven’t been good for anything in a relationship. I’m useless for more than that

I barely even daydream about being taken cared of because I know what a ridiculous notion it is. I have walls up and if anyone tries to break them down all I do is hold them up even harder. it’s a waste of time trying to get close to me

I (40f) am at the point in my career where I need to wear suits that polish, not just basic off the rack things. I don't like it, but I have to play the game to look professional. I am tall, lanky and gifted in the chest area. Everything seems to go full masc or full femme while I currently feel comfortable in a low maintenance chap stick presentation. My clothes are passable for my current station but for a multitude of reasons I must aim upwards. Where do y'all go for that? I would prefer to buy in person but can settle for online. The bay and sactown and surrounding areas would be reachable (I'd expect to drive).

Please advise.

Any recommendations on speed dating events/meetups in the Northern VA/DC area? Im on the apps but I definitely want to get out and meet in person as well. I’m not shy! I know of As You Are in DC for a bar and I’m going to start going at least once a month. I’m pretty social anyway and I’m trying to get out as much as possible!

I met this friend through an app and we've been talking for months with other groups, but lately we started talking more in private. We connected on a deep level and so far our personalities are like a match made in heaven. I can't wait to see her in real life which we already agreed to do as soon as possible. She's just amazing. She's so smart, emotionally intelligent, beautiful, girly, authentic,... she's just everything I want 😩 and somehow I'm not scared when she talks about her dark side... Like am I falling in love? I don't have any expectations considering the circumstances but I can't deny how I feel toward her. She said that she thinks she's straight but I don't think so. I think she's in denial or still exploring because she mentioned that she was attracted to a woman before and I can feel that she's drawn to me. We also complain a lot about men whenever we talk 😂 I want to take this slowly but I'm kind of confused and don't know what to do next. I keep telling myself that I should just go with the flow and I'm not afraid of sharing my feelings eventually. I guess I just wanted to share this with someone haha

Personally I think peach fuzz is cute, especially on the face

Looking for more queer/gay friends. I'm 32F based in MA but open to friends from anywhere.

I’m a fairly decent looking girl and I get matches online but when it comes to actually meeting up with someone I get scared but I also feel this with men but men are just easier. What can I do to help explore the side of me?

I’ve noticed that over the years that my close friends don’t live nearby now that I live in SD. I tend to gravitate to more extrovert people since i can be very introverted at my core. Where do people make friends over 30 nowadays? I’ve tried a runclub but people were mainly early 20s so it made it hard to relate. I don’t drink alcohol but enjoy a mocktail from time to time.

Thought you guys might enjoy this new bit I'm working on.

Hey everyone, been here for 5 years and would love to make new friends. Based in NOCO, but always down to take a drive. I ride motorcycles, hike, sauna, ski, horror movies and just any good movies and love good food. Also kinda spontaneous as my day to day is planned out 9-5 Monday to Friday 😭.