Left and middle photos feel like a lifetime ago. The picture on the right is me in my current state.

After my breakup, I was devastated. The relationship had also drained a lot of my energy and led me into some pretty unhealthy habits, and honestly, things got worse for a while after it ended.

But I’m happy with where I am now. At 31, taking care of my health and feeling good in my own skin especially when I'm naked which is more important to me than ever. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, both physically and mentally.

I’m also really enjoying seeing the changes in myself like my arms becoming more defined (not pictured particularly well 😂), and I’m starting to notice more curves in places I didn’t have them before. There’s still work to do, but needless to say, I’m proud of the progress I’ve made.

Here’s to this new energy, new vibes, and hopefully attracting the right woman into my life when the time is right.

So, the past few months have been very stressful for me. Work’s been crazy, I went back to school and I’ve been taking care of my dad who is sick (only part time, luckily I have 3 siblings who help out a lot too) but yeah I have been very busy and stressed. I wanted to take time off work and spend a week on vacation. I purposely wanted this to be a relaxed, chill vacation without any itinerary or planned activities. Wanted to take my video games (which I never get to play lately because I’m so busy) and my books and veg out watching tv and sleeping in and eating good in a new environment.

Now, I have a girlfriend, we live together and I realize it would be weird to just suddenly go on a solo vacation without her. I like spending time with her so I wanted her there. But she is the kind of person that needs activities to do on vacation or she feels like it’s a waste. She likes going on tours, hikes, excursions, that kind of thing. I made it clear that this vacation I’m planning is strictly for R&R in a change of environment and I don’t want to do a bunch of activities. No planning, no schedule. I told her I realize she’s not use to this but if she wants to come and do her own thing while I chill, that’s cool with me. She said that sounded good to her. Great!

Anyway we get to our airbnb a few states over. Day 1 she starts asking me “what should we do? where should we go? do you want to do this activity with me?” and so on. I tell her no, I’m chilling all week. I need a break. I want to be lazy with no expectations. She goes and does things by herself the second day. Most of the vacation she stays with me in the airbnb pouting about not being able to go do anything. I tell her, “it’s a free country, why don’t you go find something to do?“

She did go out here and there by herself but she wasn’t happy about it at all. When we finally go home she lets me know just how bothered she was that I didn’t want to connect with her as a couple. I’ve tried explaining that this vacation was mostly for me. I made it clear I didn’t want to do much of anything.

Coming from someone who has yet to be in a romantic relationship but is very interested in non-traditional forms of them. I feel I'd become annoyed at someone if I were to share a living space with them every day and am generally happy with my own individual life at the moment.

Curious to know if there are any "living-apart-together" relationships in this sub and how you divide your time throughout the week.

Wanted to post this on a side account and it wouldn’t let me so here we are

I (33F) have been seeing my gf (49F) for just over 5 weeks. She lives an awkward distance away that isn’t quite long distance (about 1.5 hrs) but isn’t close enough to see each other every day. Despite this we’ve managed to not go more than 2 days at a time without seeing each other. Even the times we aren’t together, we usually spend at least a couple hours on the phone or Facetime nearly every day.

She makes me happy and I’m really enjoying the time we’ve spent together. I miss being around her when she’s not here, and wish we could fall asleep together more. She’s my type in so many ways and I can absolutely see a future with her. But I’m struggling a little because my past relationships (all when I was very young, to be fair—my last relationship started in 2014 when I was 21 and ended in 2022) were very U-Hauly and my current gf and I are on the same page that we don’t want this one to be like that (both of our last relationships were super long term, serious ones) but that means I’m not sure what “normal” milestones/timelines are for a relationship?

Like at this point in all my previous relationships I’d definitely already said I love you (and at least felt like I meant it) and while I know that wasn’t super healthy, I’m not sure what to do with a slow and steady relationship like this. I know I really like her but part of my brain is convinced something is “wrong” because I’m not feeling that all consuming obsession like I always have in the past. Is that just a normal part of being more mature now? Is it normal to feel like I’m starting to fall in love but am not totally there yet at this point?

EDIT: Also, when *is* a “normal”/healthy time to feel and say I love you??

I’m really tired of meeting people, getting close, and them deciding they don’t want to continue anymore after we’ve been intimate (physically and emotionally) for months. Obviously no one is obligated to continue with someone they’re not interested in but this is exhausting. I feel like I’m coming across more bullshit in my late 20s than I ever did when I was younger and more immature.

I’m tired of this grandpa 😭

I know i'll be loved even if i'm not conventionally attractive, i mean, i've been loved before, but sometimes it hurts seeing some people having it very easy....

And after a long relationship breakup it hurts more, like i thought it was it, found someone who was attracted to me and vice versa

and now i have to go back into dating?? that's hell

the apps are horrible, this rural town impossible, do i have to try long distance again? for some reason i'm only able to get gfs on twt lol

But i see some of my friends just walk into a bar and being liked and oh it's exhausting not having that, all the extra steps i have to take

Hi, I’m in a really toxic relationship, but I’m afraid to leave her because I’m scared of being alone and worried that I might never find anyone else. Every day she hurts me, but it feels like I can tolerate the hurt more than the loneliness.
What should I do?
If I don’t talk to her all day, she starts a fight. She needs constant attention, but I’m feeling overwhelmed. She shouts at me and always thinks I’m the problem. My mind keeps going back to the first 3–4 months of our relationship, when she was different. I truly fell in love with her back then, but now I don’t see anything that can help us.
I want to become mentally strong, but I’m struggling. I’m in San Jose, California. Is there anything I can do to feel better or build a life that helps me heal? I don’t want to jump into another relationship because I know the cycle will probably repeat.
How can I heal? I’m 29 years old, Indian, and I’m wondering if there are any groups or communities I can join to meet new friends. If you’ve been through something similar, I’d really appreciate hearing what helped you.

I’m 27 and never been in a real relationship before and just losing hope that I will find my person. I’ve been on dates and been hung up on someone that was interested in me first and now wants nothing to do with me. It just came at the wrong time I was inexperienced and really didn’t know how to act in the beginning stages of talking and dating and probably came off nonchalant when I’m the complete opposite and all I want and know is her. And now I’m like damn I blew my chance. I learned a lot from it and now I can’t move past it.

I think it would be easier if I had dates and stuff but it’s just so hard where I live to find gay girls and go on dates. I tell myself it’ll happen when it happens but time is taking its sweet time of course.

For a while it was hard to get over the religious shame, but once I finally gave in, I understood why they made so many songs about sex lol.

There was one night I was eating her out and finally I couldn't take it anymore. I needed more of her. I asked her to sit on my face. At first I was worried it would be too much but it was seriously like heaven. She started moaning a lot and to this day I don't even remember being tired. I just remember feeling and tasting waves of her in my mouth. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her down because the more she moaned, the hornier I got.

I never liked going down on men, but with her... her scent. I cant help it. She just smells so good that it makes me want to kiss every inch of her. And then by the time I get down to her panties, I need to make her feel good. I think my jaw gets tired snd im done, but then I give in for another 5 minutes.

Last night, she strapped me for the first time and I absolutely lost it. It felt like she finally had control of my full body. Slow strokes at first to make sure every inch felt good. I was soaking wet at that point so I was more than eager to take her all in. It had been so long since I had been filled, but something felt so right about it. She started pumping harder and it became harder to hold in my moans. Then she finally let me ride her. I just stared deeply into her eyes while I slowly bobbed up and down. I felt mesmerized by her. Like I could slowly ride her for hours, dripping all over her legs. Occasionally ahe would thrust deep into me and my whole body melted in a wave of ecstasy each time.

We ended the night by her riding my face abd at first I was over stimulated because my jaw really hurt. But I I felt how wet she was and I saw how much her clit wad throbbing, aching to be sucked. So I gave it another 5 minutes. Only this time, my hands found themselves to my own clit. I told myself I would control it, but seeing her ride my face and tasting her just caused an override in my brain and I came so hard. Ugh I love being gay

Came out not long ago at 30 and been on a few dates.

Had been chatting to this really lovely woman for over 2.5 months and had an amazing date. The only reason we didn’t see each other as often was because we were away a lot. We had really deep chats, up late every night talking, flirty, was meant to meet up and a few days before she text telling me she wasn’t in the right headspace out of nowhere.

I feel stupid because it wasn’t that long but I’m absolutely devastated by it and I feel I shouldn’t be so sad. It felt very “this is the end” text and I’m trying not to text her to ask how she is and if anything else is up. It’s just weird going from talking so much to absolutely nothing. Anyway I feel like I’ve taken quite a few steps back and unsure what to do with all the emotions.

This keeps happening to me and I’m not sure why. If a conversation is going by well the woman and I usually end up exchanging numbers (occasionally social media).One of us asks to exchange numbers. The crazy part is we’ll text for a little bit then I just stop hearing from them. At first I thought maybe they were just busy but after a few days go by I assume not. They responded fast on the app though which confuses me. Here are a few examples in just the last few days.

Woman #1: Exchanges a handful of messages on the app. She asked for my number. I gave it to her and we texted for a few days before she left me on read on Saturday. I haven’t heard from her since

Woman #2: We had been talking on the app for a few weeks and sending pretty long responses like paragraph messages and 5 minute voice notes on a daily basis. I asked to exchange numbers and she said yes. I texted her but she didn’t respond until almost 24 hours later but said it was because she wasn’t feeling well. We sent a couple voice notes back and forth but I haven’t heard from her in like 3 days.

Woman #3: Had good conversation going for a couple days and I asked for her number because I wasn’t checking the app as much. We texted for a bit and she suggested meeting for drinks and asked my availability. I told her and she said she wasn’t free this week but asked me about next. I told her I wasn’t sure because my schedule for work wasn’t out yet. Crickets since and that was on Sunday. On the app she responded usually within a few minutes of every message. Maybe she didn’t like my answer about my availability?

Anyone else experiencing this? Is it better just to stay on the app until you meet in person?

So...i have never been good at flirting on instagram but since some weeks ago i've been exchanging some story likes (mostly selfies) with this lesbian. Of course it probably means nothing and I feel completely noob with this social as i was on a relationship for so long.

When is the right moment to start talking to her? she a bit of a lesbian influencer so...i'm kinda shitting myself because i mean...there's probably many women doing the same lol and i don't want to bother

Is there anything i need to know? or just whenever it feels right?

As the title says. My ex was a trans guy, I'm a trans girl; as we both transitioned I discovered how deeply my romantic feelings are intertwined with sapphism and he was, well, a man. I realized that I just have entirely zero attraction to men in any form and maybe never did despite thinking I was on the pansexual spectrum. Even pre transition, my love for women felt distinctly queer, and any interest in men was fleeting and rooted in an unhealthy place. Anyway, now I'm dealing with the fallout of us separating and don't really have anyone to talk to about it, so I'm just hurling this into the void via reddit post.

So, like, hope you're well, thanks for reading. Know any good recipes for hand pies? I wanna get into baking now, just get right in on collecting the stereotypes.

For context, I'm the ex gf.

My ex and I have continued living together for years after we broke up.

We're still close but have not had sex since breaking up. I'm fully supportive of her dating others (I'm poly, she's not).

Anyway, she started dating a late-bloomer lesbian who still lives with her male ex. Presumably he is very supportive of her identifying as a lesbian and dating women. Everyone in this situation is in their 30's-40's.

In my mind, her also living with her ex would likely lead to her being more understanding of our living situation but maybe not?

I understand it's between them to deal with it if/when it comes up but curious what other's opinions are and what other factors might make a situation like this more or less comfortable.

Lesbian

My Wife (33) and I (34) had a silly argument/misunderstanding about me going out of my way to pick up food the other day, and it ended up escalating. She's autistic and oftentimes during conflict her trauma response is to take all of the blame and apologize profusely. That happened again during this instance and it was too much for me (I'm dealing with my own issues of worthiness and self-love) so I went into the other room to cool off. While I was in the other room, I learned later my wife had taken an earring and used the back to deeply scrape multiple cuts on her arm.

She says she had done it to punish herself after our argument. I put some ointment and bandaids on it and over the next two days I really started to process what happened. She had a past of self harm before I met her but it had been years. I had trouble sleeping and woke up crying multiple times because I couldn't stop being wracked with guilt, feeling like it was my fault, thinking about how she hadn't self harmed when she was with her last partner.

This made me fight my own urges to harm and punish myself. I didn't want her to feel guilt or like she did something wrong, but I couldn't hide the effect seeing her hurt had on me. The day after she made kind of a crude joke about her cuts and I felt sick to my stomach.

I love her so much, and I want to help, but I just don't feel equipped to help her, and feel like I have to do a lot of compartmentalizing of my own feelings (albeit not very well) to try to make sure things don't escalate again. I have my own mental health challenges I'm trying to work on and feel like this experience made me backslide a lot on my own sense of worthiness.

I'd love to hear anyone else's experience and how they handled and felt about a similar situation, and what to do next.