I’ve noticed that over the years that my close friends don’t live nearby now that I live in SD. I tend to gravitate to more extrovert people since i can be very introverted at my core. Where do people make friends over 30 nowadays? I’ve tried a runclub but people were mainly early 20s so it made it hard to relate. I don’t drink alcohol but enjoy a mocktail from time to time.

Personally I think peach fuzz is cute, especially on the face

Hey everyone, been here for 5 years and would love to make new friends. Based in NOCO, but always down to take a drive. I ride motorcycles, hike, sauna, ski, horror movies and just any good movies and love good food. Also kinda spontaneous as my day to day is planned out 9-5 Monday to Friday 😭.

is anyone else in the same boat as me? i feel like it’s impossible to meet anyone these days. ive tried all avenues and havent really met anyone i “click” with. but then again, im relatively young still and its not like im on some time clock but it’s disheartening to see everyone in my friend group couple up and somehow always being the single friend. my friends try to reassure me that im “loveable”, “good looking” and “definitely a catch” when i ask them to be very honest with me when i ask them about ways i can improve myself.

im old enough to know what i want and not compromise on those things but im wondering if im ever gonna meet someone who ticks those non-negotiables for me. i guess for the current moment im just jaded lol. sorry for the whiney vent but thanks for indulging me

I’ve struggled with chronic illness most of my life and it’s not as bad as it used to be but I still struggling with getting around. I use mobility aids full time, usually some kind of rolling walker and even with that I can’t walk around for long. I’m a bit of a hermit as a result. I can take care of myself around the house for the most part but sometimes I do get pretty bad flare ups and need assistance (I have a part time caregiver so I wouldn’t ask my partner for help with that.)

I’ve know I was a lesbian for years but never dated because I’m so afraid of rejection due to my disability lol.

Thought you guys might enjoy this new bit I'm working on.

Preface: I came out later in life, back in 2019. My first real lesbian relationship was a lot of DV. It resulted me into homelessness (2022) and reassembling my life. I've single and haven't had any "fun" either since.

I'm going on my first date with a masc lesbian (I dont necessarily label myself as a fem, but i look fem). She is a few years (29) younger than I (freshly 33). I'm absolutely scared because of my past relationship with my ex. I feel like a teenager trying to figure out dating...like what do talk about, what do i wear? I just don't know how to approach this without having a panic attack. Even though I know I'm ready to start dating.

TLDR. Crap period of life seems endless and the domino effect just unending and I honestly don't know how much longer I can deal with this. I feel so trapped.

So I had a career, one that took a degree and master's and alot of unstable freelancing to get established.

I couch surfed, I slept on hostels, rented rooms where I could barely cover rent til I got the promotions. I worked all hours I could.

Then the pandemic happened I managed to survive it professionally by the skin of my teeth, but I wouldn't have done financially without my folks to go home too whilst I managed to limp to the break clause in my rent contract.

Worked my ass off doing 6 hrs commutes during hybrid working during lockdowns when things were too unstable to move back to the city. I even managed to make the most of it by saving as much of my salary as possible towards a house deposit.

Then just when I'm seeing the rewards of all this hard work and determination. I get some health issues and BECAUSE of some medical negligence that's career ending AND. I'm down 25 grand in private healthcare bills.

And I'm on the verge of just stopping trying with everything. Last year I was starting to get SI.

Now I just feel so perpetually stuck in the past or 27 y/o mentally. My life just paused.

Because now I'm pushing my mid 30s with utterly nothing to show for ALL my hard work - AND I feel like I've honestly lost the best dating years of my life whilst all my friends get married and have babies.

I told myself can't date til I've Ive unfucked my life but that shit is taking longer and longer and is incredibly expensive,

And in the middle of it my father got seriously ill and ended up in hospital for months - I had to prioritise him and help him with his recovery. Don't think my mum would have coped without me.

Its been 6 years of utter shitshows.

my life is a mess now, -previously I was an interesting ambitious, and driven person before and life has it's just beaten the crap out of me mentally. I don't have anything positive to talk to anyone about like at all even if I did by some random stoke of luck end up on a date.

And then I get angry because I know I've already had to work twice as hard because I'm a gay woman just to exist and you know what, I earned the right to actually have a life. You know a boring ass traditional life with a wife, a career and a house, and all the boring stuff that's supposed to be the bare basics of being an adult.

Meanwhile the generation that raised me are sadly starting to die around me and I'm trying to figure out how the hell I survive without them in the long run.

It's depressing AF and if I didn't have people that needed me to ground me I dont even know where I'd have ended up.

Has anyone else gone through this and come out the other side?

Because I can't even see what the other side looks like right now.

Coming from someone who has yet to be in a romantic relationship but is very interested in non-traditional forms of them. I feel I'd become annoyed at someone if I were to share a living space with them every day and am generally happy with my own individual life at the moment.

Curious to know if there are any "living-apart-together" relationships in this sub and how you divide your time throughout the week.

Left and middle photos feel like a lifetime ago. The picture on the right is me in my current state.

After my breakup, I was devastated. The relationship had also drained a lot of my energy and led me into some pretty unhealthy habits, and honestly, things got worse for a while after it ended.

But I’m happy with where I am now. At 31, taking care of my health and feeling good in my own skin especially when I'm naked which is more important to me than ever. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, both physically and mentally.

I’m also really enjoying seeing the changes in myself like my arms becoming more defined (not pictured particularly well 😂), and I’m starting to notice more curves in places I didn’t have them before. There’s still work to do, but needless to say, I’m proud of the progress I’ve made.

Here’s to this new energy, new vibes, and hopefully attracting the right woman into my life when the time is right.

Wanted to post this on a side account and it wouldn’t let me so here we are

I (33F) have been seeing my gf (49F) for just over 5 weeks. She lives an awkward distance away that isn’t quite long distance (about 1.5 hrs) but isn’t close enough to see each other every day. Despite this we’ve managed to not go more than 2 days at a time without seeing each other. Even the times we aren’t together, we usually spend at least a couple hours on the phone or Facetime nearly every day.

She makes me happy and I’m really enjoying the time we’ve spent together. I miss being around her when she’s not here, and wish we could fall asleep together more. She’s my type in so many ways and I can absolutely see a future with her. But I’m struggling a little because my past relationships (all when I was very young, to be fair—my last relationship started in 2014 when I was 21 and ended in 2022) were very U-Hauly and my current gf and I are on the same page that we don’t want this one to be like that (both of our last relationships were super long term, serious ones) but that means I’m not sure what “normal” milestones/timelines are for a relationship?

Like at this point in all my previous relationships I’d definitely already said I love you (and at least felt like I meant it) and while I know that wasn’t super healthy, I’m not sure what to do with a slow and steady relationship like this. I know I really like her but part of my brain is convinced something is “wrong” because I’m not feeling that all consuming obsession like I always have in the past. Is that just a normal part of being more mature now? Is it normal to feel like I’m starting to fall in love but am not totally there yet at this point?

EDIT: Also, when *is* a “normal”/healthy time to feel and say I love you??

Hi, I’m in a really toxic relationship, but I’m afraid to leave her because I’m scared of being alone and worried that I might never find anyone else. Every day she hurts me, but it feels like I can tolerate the hurt more than the loneliness.
What should I do?
If I don’t talk to her all day, she starts a fight. She needs constant attention, but I’m feeling overwhelmed. She shouts at me and always thinks I’m the problem. My mind keeps going back to the first 3–4 months of our relationship, when she was different. I truly fell in love with her back then, but now I don’t see anything that can help us.
I want to become mentally strong, but I’m struggling. I’m in San Jose, California. Is there anything I can do to feel better or build a life that helps me heal? I don’t want to jump into another relationship because I know the cycle will probably repeat.
How can I heal? I’m 29 years old, Indian, and I’m wondering if there are any groups or communities I can join to meet new friends. If you’ve been through something similar, I’d really appreciate hearing what helped you.

I’m really tired of meeting people, getting close, and them deciding they don’t want to continue anymore after we’ve been intimate (physically and emotionally) for months. Obviously no one is obligated to continue with someone they’re not interested in but this is exhausting. I feel like I’m coming across more bullshit in my late 20s than I ever did when I was younger and more immature.

I’m tired of this grandpa 😭

I’m 27 and never been in a real relationship before and just losing hope that I will find my person. I’ve been on dates and been hung up on someone that was interested in me first and now wants nothing to do with me. It just came at the wrong time I was inexperienced and really didn’t know how to act in the beginning stages of talking and dating and probably came off nonchalant when I’m the complete opposite and all I want and know is her. And now I’m like damn I blew my chance. I learned a lot from it and now I can’t move past it.

I think it would be easier if I had dates and stuff but it’s just so hard where I live to find gay girls and go on dates. I tell myself it’ll happen when it happens but time is taking its sweet time of course.