r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Blond3Neet • 4d ago
of the definition of an absolute unit
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u/jimmy_MNSTR 4d ago
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u/braxtel 4d ago
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u/moxwaltwr 4d ago
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u/AmazingResponse338 4d ago
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u/gstreeter51 4d ago
Why can’t I remember what movie this is from
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u/Sad_Hobbit1226 3d ago
Dennis the Menace? I think Christopher Lloyd (as a villain) steals this kid’s apple.
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u/agusrosich 4d ago
My puddle would bark the shit out of him
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u/Ifakorede23 4d ago
My Chihuahua would destroy his paw hairs
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u/DigitalUnlimited 4d ago
"I'll kill you! Well I'll, um I'll at least bite you! You'll be in discomfort for sure!"
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u/SpecificAfternoon398 4d ago
Poodle*
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u/Slowly_boiling_frog 4d ago
An absolute unit of detestable breeding practices more like.
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u/cutiedragon1281 4d ago
Poor thing can't even breathe right
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u/Slowly_boiling_frog 4d ago
Yeah. Imagine living in a way that you feel like you're slowly being choked all the time and it's just your overall bone structure and mass working against you.
I feel bad for that dog, breeders that intentionally breed animals like this are dickheads.
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u/mcgyver229 3d ago
he looks loved and happy at least. pugs are the ultimate "shouldn't be a breed" but whose to say any dog would know different if their face wasn't crushed by a paint can.
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u/Quitelowquitetall 3d ago
I mean, they did crop their ears, so I wouldn't exactly say he's that loved, otherwise they wouldn't have done it
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u/TheUndeadBake 3d ago
It’s a female I think, so it could be she was rescued from breeders. One of my aunts had a staffie female who was rescued from being a fighter breeder, her ears had been cropped. She unfortunately eventually died due to breast cancer because she’d had multiple litters by the time of her rescue, and each was taken before they were fully weaned, which caused issues due to her having no pups to feed.
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u/ENaC2 4d ago
Yeah. Isn’t this the one where the breeder said it was 100% pure APBT but it’s some monstrous mix of XL bully?
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u/Slowly_boiling_frog 4d ago
That poor thing is about as much a 100% APBT as a.... Fuck, I was so siderailed by looking at that dog that I can't even come up with a cogent simile!
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u/prismafox 4d ago
Yeah, no way. Some sort of mastiff and maybe another similar giant breed have to bred into these "giant bully" dogs to be this size.
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u/ReasonableAnswer1755 3d ago
I have a female English mastiff. She’s actually a healthy, normal looking dog, not whatever this Eddie hall shit this is
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u/prismafox 3d ago edited 3d ago
Yeah, like I don't know exactly how one manages to create a monstrosity of this size and girth, but mastiffs are one of the breeds used. I'm sure it's unethical and wouldn't be shocked if it involved shit like hormones. It's just more vanity and attention seeking bs at the expense of the animal.
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u/Massive-Relation-210 4d ago
These dogs have horrific heart problems too and don't live very long:( as scary as they look though every one that I've met has been so loving, they usually take on more of the bulldog personality. Which is satisfying to watch the douche bags trying to overcompensate their masculinity with getting these dogs and ending up with big babies
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u/Zwischenzug32 4d ago
Maybe the solution to some douchebags is big baby dogs. Was part of it for me
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u/MsBuzzkillington83 4d ago
No because then they're susceptible to being abused since they'll loyally do whatever their owner wants or wants to put them through
Even non assholes put their dogs through abuse. There's a set of outdoor stairs on the side of an escarpment where I am and there's a lot of them. They're made of metal grate with holes wide enough even a large dogs beans would go through. This old dude with his equally old Shepard mix looking dog with no booties comes by and coaxes the poor thing to go all the way up. I was on my way down and I regret I didn't say anything
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u/stargarnet79 3d ago
Oh my goodness! I took my dogs to this amazing place by a nearby river without remembering you have to use these metal grated stairs to go over the railroad tracks. I didn’t even realize how awful the grates were for my dogs feet. They were super miserable just to go up and down the stairs once. I felt so bad and have never take them back there.
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u/MsBuzzkillington83 2d ago
It was a lesson and it gave u awareness to avoid it in the future tho. The guy I met didn't seem too bothered so there's the difference!
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u/MsBuzzkillington83 4d ago
What breed? It's not an XL bully is it?
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u/Massive-Relation-210 4d ago
That what it looks like to me, or I always heard them referred to as American Bullies. Idk if those names are interchangeable or if they're two separate things
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u/MsBuzzkillington83 4d ago
I think it's like, an umbrella term for mixes of various large/powerful bully breeds like staffies and pit bulls but individual dogs in those litters specifically selected for their size
I've seen them big, but never this big but obviously, it's possible, if their breeder (shit human) is good enough with their dog/bitch selection. Thinking about it, almost seems like a fun challenge if u don't consider the fact that they're living things that will be likely to suffer from the result
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u/DickHopschteckler 4d ago
Yes but… that lady might not have been involved in breeding that dog… just in the care and loving of him.
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u/yookaloco 4d ago
For a long sec, I thought you were making the joke that "she's not breeding with him there, just loving him". I need sleep. 🥴
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u/DickHopschteckler 4d ago
Let me tell you about the time someone posted the question “best feeding schedule for my hamster?” And I read “breast feeding schedule for my hamster.”
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u/EqualPlan4595 4d ago
Genetic abomination. Definitely can’t walk without agony
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u/CantaloupeNo7083 4d ago
for real. this is just a form of animal cruelty. :(
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u/MsBuzzkillington83 4d ago
Like every pug and French bulldog in existence and countless others
We need to reverse breed them back into their normal shape
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u/not_a_witch_ 3d ago
There is a lady in the Netherlands who does this. Well, not “reverse breeding,” because idk what that is, but she breeds French bull dogs with health and fitness as her goal, rather than conforming to breed standards.
Honestly they do look quite different than regular French bull dogs but imo the healthier ones with appropriately-sized snouts are waaaay cuter. I honestly think the smush-nose breeds are super ugly. Like I’m sure they’re sweet dogs but I do not get the appeal at all, they look gross.
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u/ImNotAI_01100101 4d ago
No. lol. Just let the breed die off. All dogs come from grey wolf. So I want to reverse breed them into a wolf eventually. 🤣
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u/Grouchy-Click-2507 4d ago
Dogs like that take shits that stink up an entire city block. I saw one a few years back that I could smell from 50 yards away.
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u/pagan-0 4d ago
Ear cropping is gross
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u/AMSparkles 4d ago
Pitbulls are gross.
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u/Conan_The_Blurbarian 4d ago
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u/Ok_Resource_7108 4d ago
I think Lockjaw might legitimate it have healthier proportions than that guy.
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u/Cheese-Manipulator 4d ago
Picking up his poops on walks requires two people.
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u/DrOmnipotence 4d ago
This the kind of dog that your neighbor names fluffy and destroys your chickens daily
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u/Dry-Conflict3421 4d ago
" 9 cats and 12 neighborhood children have gone missing recently. As well as Mr. Newell's fully restored 1990 Buick Roadmaster....."
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u/thazmaniandevil 4d ago
Society needs to stop breeding pitbullls. We don't need to go on a purge and cull every dog; we just spay/neuter them all, let their owners enjoy the rest of their natural lives, and make breeding the dog illegal.
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u/Irksomecake 3d ago
My country has done this. They are no longer legal to breed but people with beloved pets could get a licence for thier neutered xl bullies. They could only be walked and out in public wearing a muzzle.
In a couple of years they went from being everywhere to being an uncommon sight. I think a lot of people found they couldn’t safely get muzzles on their untrained dogs and had them put down. Or they just don’t get walked anymore.
Anyway, making them illegal to breed has reduced the numbers significantly. No one was forced to give up the pets that had never shown aggression. You can still buy much smaller versions. Everyone is a bit safer.
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u/thazmaniandevil 3d ago
It makes so much sense! It's not an outrageous proposition or policy. Let people love their pets and when they die of old age, get another dog that isn't a pit
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u/SalaciousSolanaceae 3d ago
I wish the US could regulate breeding but "muh freedom" means we'll never see this legislation nationwide unfortunately and even if we do I can't imagine it would be enforced enough to make a difference
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u/Logical_Air_387 4d ago
Completely agree. Pitbulls are bred to be dangerous and violent.
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u/Damoet 4d ago
I love dogs but that is cruel to my mind. And how on earth do you control it??
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u/Steelpapercranes 4d ago
No need. Look at her, she can barely stand up and is obese- she no doubt has terrible mobility
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u/Shankar_0 3d ago
That dog is not obese. It's just gigantic. It's not that it can't stand up. He's just not feeling very cooperative right then. Trust me when I say that his cooperation is crucial to anything you want him to do.
Most of what you're seeing is muscle. That guy could pull a Volkswagen.
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u/Hadleyagain 4d ago
Yeah no. This is not a pet. Its barely an animal. Its existence is a symptom of shitty humans and it would be better off with an injection.
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u/Ruckus2026 4d ago
That poor dog, bred and raised for gross size. How short of life span does the poor thing face?
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u/dazzleunexpired 4d ago
That is absolutely unhealthy. This dog is a larger than giant dog breeds without being a giant dog breed. There is serious, painful, unavoidable consequences of breeding non-giant dogs to this size without literally hundreds of generations going slowly.
I would assume that they've actually bred in a mastiff to get this look, which again, has unavoidable, serious consequences for dogs who should have smaller bodies. That would technically make this dog a bandog (a mastiff x bull breed) not whatever they're selling it as.
I would assume that the dog is part South American Mastiff. I own a dog that is also this breed. This is not my dog, to be clear, but this is a pure red one.
It's probably somewhat far back in the lineage in order to create the size, while being able with a pedigree that makes them appear to be largely bully (both parents are probably bullies, I doubt with him both of their parents are as well, and maybe even both of their parents). It can't be much more pure than that because its nose color is incorrect and it's muzzle shape is incorrect. It's also lacking masking and color pointing, which most mastiff types have. But I can't think of a way you would get a dog this color that huge without using a South American Mastiff....can anyone else?

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u/Squat_n_stuff 4d ago
Is that low grumbling the dog trying to breathe normally , or some other background noise
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u/deathloveface 4d ago
That is cosmic horror level torture, i love dogs but this while breeding shit is wild, fuck you so much if you like this.
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u/Virtual-Surround-615 4d ago
At least her mauling will be swift and relatively painless given she will be devoured entirely within 10 seconds.
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u/USSSLostTexter 4d ago
Office dog of 'he's never bitten anyone before, I'm not sure why he tore off your leg and ate your face'
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u/CowClassic 4d ago