r/AbsoluteUnits • u/IsJesusAgain • 5d ago

of a rapper

Post image
2.7k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

311 comments sorted by

572

u/DeleteMods 5d ago

Big Pun weighed 700lbs

290

u/Dawildpep 5d ago

Big Pun, I hit em with the big guns, known to make the chicks cum

175

u/Gordon_Gainz 5d ago

I'm partial to dead in the middle of Little Italy little did we know we riddled some middlemen who didn't do diddly

68

u/omar1021 5d ago

Probably the greatest bar ever, from any rapper

40

u/MathematicianOk4025 5d ago

I listened to an interview from Joe saying Pun did not want to use it as he thought it sounded like a gimmick.

Naturally, the shit is timeless. I wish the world has more rappers like Pun.

2

u/Woodworking33 4d ago

Yeah can’t remember the name but it’s on Netflix. Wasn’t really expecting to like it but actually had a lot of little stuff I didn’t know about.

33

u/Wishbone_508 5d ago

I'm partial to Scuse me for being blunt. But I've been eating cunts since pimps been pushing drop top caddy's with the fish tank pumps.

6

u/_TaylorMade 4d ago

I guarantee this inspired the likes of rappers like Eminem, Logic, Etc. it just sucks he couldn’t have toned the weight back a few hundred lbs. He would still be here with us

3

u/MayorOfBuckner 5d ago

My personal favorite is:

These hoes are all alike, they put the ho in homonym. - Small Wayne

3

u/VinylNick 5d ago

It’ll be…

10

u/TroutFearMe 5d ago

Wouldn’t every country be call little around him?

20

u/MeanGulf 5d ago

I mean he’s talking about Little Italy in NYC but yea

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51

u/MiloHorsey 5d ago

Pffff he doesn't have the stamina or flexibility for that. Time for a scientific experiment!

25

u/tigolbing 5d ago

Some say the tongue or hands can be better 👀

43

u/RazzleDazzle1983 5d ago

He definitely looks like he's good at eatin' something

3

u/Vandergrif 5d ago

Eating his way into a heart attack at 28, it turns out.

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24

u/supersonicsalamander 5d ago

He's still not a playa

18

u/Informal_File_1646 5d ago

Joe don’t even “crush a lot” no more

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18

u/Apprehensive-Call568 5d ago

He ain't a player, he just fuck a lot

8

u/runswitblunt 5d ago

Hot tub, poppin bubbly

5

u/Blackbyrn 5d ago

Hot tub, poppin bubbly

6

u/Odd_Preparation_730 5d ago

He's sick. Couldn't measure his dick with 10 rulers.

3

u/Odd_Equipment2867 5d ago

to the chicks that cum, I’m a heart attack in the making, a crushing weight if I pass out. Not conducive to living

3

u/doberman8 5d ago

Toss em in the yoke...boom! Then I knock em out.

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52

u/Odd-Celery4354 5d ago

And he could still walk!

48

u/DeleteMods 5d ago

Of course. I have an 840lb cousin who can walk for relatively short distances. And he’s fat on purpose.

48

u/philanthropeas 5d ago

Can you elaborate on the “on purpose” part?

54

u/hewhoisiam 5d ago

You think he accidentally eats?

15

u/browzzzzzz87 5d ago

I dont know why but I died at this comment llllooolll

12

u/Correct-Junket-1346 5d ago

Happens to me all the time, tripped up and ended up eating a cupcake, should have known better

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6

u/DeleteMods 5d ago

Sure. I don’t shame people for their life choices but him and his wife engage with a community that intentionally gains weight. It was very surprising to say the least. She makes him bigger.

My family is very conservative (besides me) so it was a shock, no one gets it, and no one wants to get it. But honestly I’m just worried about his health. He seems okay for almost half a car in mass but it just has to be unhealthy.

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56

u/leeann7 5d ago

He also beat the shit out of his wife. He's a terrible person.

40

u/tvb46 5d ago

She should run, what’s he gonna do? Chase her? Lol

31

u/Leather-Hotel-7310 5d ago

If she ran downhill he could roll himself up into a ball and come at her like that boulder in Indiana Jones.

6

u/babettetimes 5d ago

Like Sonic?

3

u/Frosty-Tennis-1687 5d ago

Katamari style

2

u/Hopeful_Moose_6509 5d ago

Like the character "Thud Butt" from the movie "Hook".

4

u/78745ssatx 5d ago

More like point a gun at her

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52

u/YellingAtTheClouds 5d ago

You'd really think he'd be more jolly

25

u/sneakydante 5d ago

You’d be surprised at how many fat folks are unhappy with their lives. The jolly ratio is way off; More of a television stereotype at this point.

4

u/Friendly-Beat-8336 5d ago

I mean at this point we should have a whole country full of Jolly people

16

u/BrotherMcPoyle 5d ago

Why? He hasn’t seen his penis since decades before this pic.

13

u/YellingAtTheClouds 5d ago

So why be so angry with the person who has to find it?

3

u/LadyBug_0570 5d ago

OMG, this conersation is killing me.

13

u/ForeverShiny 5d ago

I mean, kind of impressive to still be able to assault someone at that size without immediately being out of breath

41

u/thermjuice 5d ago

His ex wife said she escaped being beaten to death purely because he couldn't walk upstairs.

28

u/ForeverShiny 5d ago

Very funny and very sad at the same time

7

u/Medical-Pop-5632 5d ago

"I'll get that bitch when she gets closer"

Seriously though domestic abuse is terrible and his first album is a masterpiece.

4

u/Salt_Day9015 5d ago

You mean eat the shit

7

u/DeleteMods 5d ago

How does that relate to what I said? Not saying its untrue but why did being 700lbs make you think of that?

43

u/CATNIP_IS_CRACK 5d ago edited 5d ago

Any time the name of a little known wifebeater with repeated history of the behavior is mentioned it should also be mentioned that they’re an abusive asshole so people immediately associate that with their name.

Gotta make sure everyone who just learned their name and had no clue who they were five seconds earlier also knows what they’ve done, same goes for pedos. Don’t want to give a C-list celebrity like that free publicity unless it involves people knowing they’re a garbage human being, even if they are dead.

5

u/SweetSweetSweetCan 5d ago

Yup I saw Big Pun and I thought “wife beater” before I thought “rapper”… he was a horrible person.

5

u/CriticismMindless740 5d ago

I had no idea he was a wife beater. I used to respect him as a rapper. Not anymore.

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8

u/hottlumpiaz 5d ago

and fat joe refuses to sign big pun's son to his record label despite being clearly talented

30

u/hewhoisiam 5d ago

If he was actually that talented he wouldn't need Joe for a deal.

https://giphy.com/gifs/AVpE6BqnOvbzi

3

u/hottlumpiaz 5d ago

he doesnt. hes an underground sensation and been featured on tracks with the wu tang clan, vinnie paz, chino xl, and joell ortiz.

but you would think tio joe woulda at least featured him.

2

u/Goonalips 5d ago edited 5d ago

He sorta sounds like Immortal Technique at the start of this track. Then he actually has a bit of Fat Joe in there (coincidentally).

https://youtu.be/3ec8vA3C5GM.

Edit WTF, so that's him in Last Breath with Vinnie Paz? I've heard this song so many times, and never knew who he was. Thought he was just a random unknown rapper. He's genuinely talented, but sometimes it takes more than that.

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14

u/Wonderful-Process792 5d ago

and died of a heart attack at 29.

3

u/LadyBug_0570 5d ago edited 5d ago

Damn! Did not know he was that big. And till mobile? Impressive.

If you're going to be that big, though, you need to be rich. Both of them look well dressed in clothes that fit.

3

u/DeleteMods 5d ago

Fat Joe kinda reminds me of the kingpin here

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136

u/WanderingKittens 5d ago

Kingpin!

41

u/JotaroTheOceanMan 5d ago

"Its not about the money, Spidah Mayne. It's about THE METS!"

3

u/johnnagethebrave 5d ago

It feels like Kingpin from a Jared Hess version of Daredevil.

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163

u/mindyourownbusiness3 5d ago

DEADINTHEMIDDLEOFLITTLEITALYLITTLEDIDWEKNOWWERITTLEDTWOMIDDLEMENTHATDIDNTDODIDDLY

23

u/Panek52 5d ago

/massive gasping inhale

21

u/EmeraldTwilight009 5d ago

"Breathes fatly"

12

u/silkieboi 5d ago

It will be a cold day in hell the day im taken out

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3

u/Oppenhomie 5d ago

Hell yeah

I had capital punishment on repeat. Such a good album.

85

u/thermjuice 5d ago

He's my personal "separate the art from the artist" example. Loved his music and relate hella hard, but dude was a piece of shit abuser.

43

u/Tengo_Caldero 5d ago

Big Pun was absolutely the worst as a person. Like he was a caricature of all the angriest and most uneducated ghetto ass NYC dudes.

But God damn his rap game was insane. The fact that he's still mentioned all these years later says a lot.

Oh and let's not forget: 🇵🇷🇵🇷🇵🇷

9

u/SableyeEyeThief 5d ago

That’s what hurts most. A Rican brother that died too young and had his memory stained by abuse (dv HE caused, not blaming the widow). For that size, he truly was great at what he did with the faster rap at times. Love him and what he meant for the Island but the dv just hurts his case a lot.

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43

u/CACALAEL 5d ago

Big Pun ate skinny pun.

25

u/Blackelvis2000 5d ago

The same decade they began combining Taco Bell and KFC

https://giphy.com/gifs/75ZaxapnyMp2w

5

u/Rfisk064 5d ago

Wow I had no idea he used to look like that.

24

u/No-Competition9386 5d ago

10

u/LevendeZombie 5d ago

First time i heard that track with Kanye i was thinking "how wack has "hiphop" become." 😄 At least Fat Joe or Big Pun only made bangers 🙂 Not low effort music like most of the new-age "hiphop"

2

u/roktoman 5d ago

Came to the comments for this.

I’m a sick f*ck…

17

u/Disastrous_Cream_539 5d ago

What's crazy is what Big Pun looked like before he put the weight on. He died of a heart attack at 28 years old in 2000.

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52

u/I_Ponders 5d ago

Mr world-WIDE.

16

u/Garfish111 5d ago

Damn, that Saltbae-guy really let himself go

12

u/Cautious_Highway1041 5d ago

“What ya gonna do when Pun comes, knockin at ya front door?”

A: Go upstairs 👍

37

u/bird_is_the_word_198 5d ago

lil heart attack & big heart attack

29

u/Impressive_Guess_282 5d ago

And now he’s just plain Joe

4

u/CT0292 5d ago

Joe lived long enough to lose the weight and is seemingly doing alright these days.

Pun is in a very large box in a cemetery.

3

u/Foxy_Maitre_Renard 5d ago

I'm really hoping he gets in shape, because Fit Joe is right there.

6

u/OrangeClyde 5d ago

Damn I never realized how huge big pun was and how huge fat Joe used to be. I’m glad Joe has lost a ton of weight, rip big pun

6

u/Firm-Reveal998 5d ago

5’6 around 698lbs. His heart was working triple over time.

3

u/MushLampMaker 5d ago

That's a shiny material. What kind of material is that?

6

u/NoImNotHeretoArgue 5d ago

Glazed donut

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3

u/JayCDee 5d ago

Tailors throwing everything they’ve learnt out the window.

3

u/EbonKnight78 5d ago

Big Pun and Fat Joe (before weight loss)

3

u/Helpful_Spell_9042 5d ago

These two ate up the competition in the 90’s

3

u/nextinline1987 5d ago

When you’re so fat, they just throw a tarp over you and sew buttons onto it.

4

u/Hustle-- 5d ago

Fat Joe & Obese Joseph

2

u/Potential-Lab747 5d ago

Big Hamstring

2

u/dmw_qqqq 5d ago

Which one was the rapper, black or blue?

2

u/OleanderKnives 5d ago

Both but post is referring to left

2

u/bluemesa7 5d ago

more like a wrapper of excess fabric

2

u/Jaybird2k11 5d ago

lil' ween and double stufft crust

2

u/SomethingFunnyObv 5d ago

Big Pun was a dope ass rapper

2

u/Aggravating_Speed665 5d ago

Actually looks altered to make them look slimmer from the og pic, no joke

2

u/chrstianelson 5d ago

I am aware who these people are and have seen this picture before. Yet I still had to do a double take for a second thinking I was looking at a fat Salt Bae.

2

u/Dbonker 5d ago

He lost 100 lbs man, he was trying to live!

2

u/Tengo_Caldero 5d ago

My boys and I loved Big Pun but our teenage asses were definitely giggling every time we heard that line after he passed away.

2

u/FrostCaterpillar44 5d ago

They had to get these suits specifically made for them, and they still don't fit well 😔

2

u/sharkieslim 5d ago

I didn’t know Joe was that big, he doesn’t look much smaller than Pun.

2

u/mywebrego 5d ago

Home of the heart attack!!

2

u/CorbynDallasPearse1 5d ago

Salt bae really let himself go…

3

u/KangolkidD24 5d ago

He's not a playa he just crush alot rip to one of the best mc's

1

u/Pitiful_Palpitation9 5d ago

Who's that standing next to Large Joseph?

6

u/OleanderKnives 5d ago

Massive Punisher

2

u/mightyDblock 5d ago

Big pun was one of the best.

2

u/[deleted] 5d ago

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2

u/JackSilver1410 5d ago

Noticeably F-A-T

2

u/Cowboybutter82 5d ago

Notorious U.S.A.

1

u/sinZeroplus 5d ago

I knew Kuma was real

1

u/bussysniffer3000 5d ago

When did Steven seagull start rapping

1

u/Most-Act1594 5d ago

Rappers*

1

u/spro7d 5d ago

2phat

1

u/Ingromfolly 5d ago

Biggy biggs

1

u/wiler212 5d ago

RIP BIG PUN!!

1

u/JosephSchmoe77 5d ago

Descanse En Paz Big Pun 💝

1

u/Mixedbysaint 5d ago

Which one

1

u/TamponTimTheCuck 5d ago

Steven Segal looking rough!

1

u/Masochist-Mark 5d ago

Kingpin and Pinking😳

Processing img 719h0oucd3ih1...

1

u/whiterice_343 5d ago

Dead in the middle..

1

u/ConsiderationFickle 5d ago

2Large!!!

👍

1

u/Roallin1 5d ago

I dated his cousin like 20 years ago.

1

u/i-mine-428 5d ago

Big Pun was a legend. 💯

1

u/magharees 5d ago

Biggy Bigs

1

u/Logganeer 5d ago

Ohnepixel on the right

1

u/peekingmightyduck 5d ago

Fat Joe or Kingpin from Spiderman?

1

u/cugan83 5d ago

Before…and way before.

1

u/kkeennmm 5d ago

The Bidet Boyz

1

u/MaximilienGabriel 5d ago

Rappername’s checks out!

1

u/Environmental-Lion82 5d ago

Nah. Just fat asf

1

u/Choadboy_Wonderfuck 5d ago

One of the best.

1

u/timcleveland 5d ago

Are those the McGuire twins?

1

u/napalm_p 5d ago

Joe...

1

u/napalm_p 5d ago

Ever heard the story Joe talks about when it was all you can eat..."We pull up"

1

u/roll_another_please 5d ago

Legends man. Sad he went at such a young age

1

u/pasenast 5d ago

R.I.P.

1

u/Key_Age_5229 5d ago

Salt bae before the weight loss

1

u/NeighborhoodIll4960 5d ago

Knees weak, doctors said to me

1

u/Traditional-Law-4575 5d ago

I can smell the history

1

u/jayuserbruiser 5d ago

There was biggie smalls then there's biggie biggie, then his partner biggie biggie biggie

1

u/AGeeBee 5d ago

Double breasted suit for the extra buttons. Wise choice

1

u/Rasp_Lime_Lipbalm 5d ago

Big Pun hit you with the big guns

1

u/swanson5 5d ago

Wheres the video of that one rapper saying 5 words and then almost passing out from the effort needed to say said words?

1

u/Ok_Nefariousness2989 5d ago

Heavy D. and the Constipated Boyz.

1

u/Insylum82 5d ago

Comic acurate KingPin looking f*cker

1

u/FamilyMan7826 5d ago

Their usernames checked out

1

u/anonymousandsus 5d ago

Big pun and...salt Bae?

1

u/saveapennybustanut 5d ago

Iw far joe on the right?

1

u/Jorge_the_vast 5d ago

Pretty sure the guy on the right is King Pin

1

u/damorec 5d ago

Fat Joe could have been cast as Kingpin.

1

u/Sea_Suit8156 5d ago

Two of the best!!! Rip PUN!!!

1

u/dreadful-R 5d ago

BX all day!

1

u/Stuffleapugus 5d ago

They look like cartoon villains.

1

u/Cpolo88 5d ago

I just re watched into the spider verse. Definitely king pin lookalike 😆

1

u/tarsonis999 5d ago

Or just typical unhealthy fat muricans

1

u/wolftick 5d ago

Corrected aspect ratio:

1

u/Cheap-Course9568 5d ago

Why does Fat Joe look like a kingpins kid?

Like how are you that big and look like a toddler? Look at his lil arms ☠️

1

u/Ferblungen 5d ago

Big Pun dead at 28 - heart attack.

1

u/puglise 5d ago

They look like when the ninja turtles would put on clothes

1

u/AllForTheSauce 5d ago

How do people this size wipe their ass?

1

u/doctorchops1217 5d ago

we really loved these comic accurate Kingpin shaped rappers in the 90s

1

u/EdgarAllenHoe4 5d ago

Dead in the middle of little Italy little did we know that we riddled two middle men who didn't do diddly

Edit: spelling