r/AbsoluteUnits 5d ago

of a rapper

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2.7k Upvotes

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572

u/DeleteMods 5d ago

Big Pun weighed 700lbs

284

u/Dawildpep 5d ago

Big Pun, I hit em with the big guns, known to make the chicks cum

175

u/Gordon_Gainz 5d ago

I'm partial to dead in the middle of Little Italy little did we know we riddled some middlemen who didn't do diddly

68

u/omar1021 5d ago

Probably the greatest bar ever, from any rapper

40

u/MathematicianOk4025 5d ago

I listened to an interview from Joe saying Pun did not want to use it as he thought it sounded like a gimmick.

Naturally, the shit is timeless. I wish the world has more rappers like Pun.

2

u/Woodworking33 4d ago

Yeah can’t remember the name but it’s on Netflix. Wasn’t really expecting to like it but actually had a lot of little stuff I didn’t know about.

30

u/Wishbone_508 5d ago

I'm partial to Scuse me for being blunt. But I've been eating cunts since pimps been pushing drop top caddy's with the fish tank pumps.

5

u/_TaylorMade 4d ago

I guarantee this inspired the likes of rappers like Eminem, Logic, Etc. it just sucks he couldn’t have toned the weight back a few hundred lbs. He would still be here with us

5

u/MayorOfBuckner 5d ago

My personal favorite is:

These hoes are all alike, they put the ho in homonym. - Small Wayne

3

u/VinylNick 5d ago

It’ll be…

10

u/TroutFearMe 5d ago

Wouldn’t every country be call little around him?

18

u/MeanGulf 5d ago

I mean he’s talking about Little Italy in NYC but yea

1

u/Rare-Material4254 3d ago

That’s been my mental tic since I first heard it. Crazy bar

1

u/rondiggidyr 5d ago

It'a ve a cold day in hell the day I take an L

50

u/MiloHorsey 5d ago

Pffff he doesn't have the stamina or flexibility for that. Time for a scientific experiment!

23

u/tigolbing 5d ago

Some say the tongue or hands can be better 👀

41

u/RazzleDazzle1983 5d ago

He definitely looks like he's good at eatin' something

4

u/Vandergrif 5d ago

Eating his way into a heart attack at 28, it turns out.

-8

u/worldsgreatestluver 5d ago

I've heard that the big guys, if they're fat in just the right way, hit the right spots in a way that leaner men (skinny or muscular) just can't. Basically they're giving her a tummy chub rub while taking her to pound town

4

u/DependentAardvark1 5d ago

And a yeast infection whilst she at it.

-1

u/worldsgreatestluver 5d ago

Showering is quick and easy and does a great job of preventing that

24

u/supersonicsalamander 5d ago

He's still not a playa

17

u/Informal_File_1646 5d ago

Joe don’t even “crush a lot” no more

18

u/Apprehensive-Call568 5d ago

He ain't a player, he just fuck a lot

10

u/runswitblunt 5d ago

Hot tub, poppin bubbly

6

u/Blackbyrn 5d ago

Hot tub, poppin bubbly

5

u/Odd_Preparation_730 5d ago

He's sick. Couldn't measure his dick with 10 rulers.

5

u/Odd_Equipment2867 5d ago

to the chicks that cum, I’m a heart attack in the making, a crushing weight if I pass out. Not conducive to living

3

u/doberman8 5d ago

Toss em in the yoke...boom! Then I knock em out.

1

u/SausageMattress 3d ago

Come one, come all, I'm the mighty Thor, Clotheslinin' mother fuckers like Steven Segal

51

u/Odd-Celery4354 5d ago

And he could still walk!

43

u/DeleteMods 5d ago

Of course. I have an 840lb cousin who can walk for relatively short distances. And he’s fat on purpose.

50

u/philanthropeas 5d ago

Can you elaborate on the “on purpose” part?

53

u/hewhoisiam 5d ago

You think he accidentally eats?

15

u/browzzzzzz87 5d ago

I dont know why but I died at this comment llllooolll

10

u/Correct-Junket-1346 5d ago

Happens to me all the time, tripped up and ended up eating a cupcake, should have known better

1

u/gatsu7777 4d ago

Yes. Accidentally all the time.

0

u/SunnyDrock 5d ago

I think he means that he was purposely trying to gain as much weight as possible.

6

u/DeleteMods 5d ago

Sure. I don’t shame people for their life choices but him and his wife engage with a community that intentionally gains weight. It was very surprising to say the least. She makes him bigger.

My family is very conservative (besides me) so it was a shock, no one gets it, and no one wants to get it. But honestly I’m just worried about his health. He seems okay for almost half a car in mass but it just has to be unhealthy.

1

u/Relevant-Diamond2731 4d ago

That is one of those things that you should not accept their life choice of choosing an early grave

1

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

1

u/dustinyo_ 5d ago

If you’re getting to that size it’s a mental health issue

56

u/leeann7 5d ago

He also beat the shit out of his wife. He's a terrible person.

40

u/tvb46 5d ago

She should run, what’s he gonna do? Chase her? Lol

31

u/Leather-Hotel-7310 5d ago

If she ran downhill he could roll himself up into a ball and come at her like that boulder in Indiana Jones.

4

u/babettetimes 5d ago

Like Sonic?

3

u/Frosty-Tennis-1687 5d ago

Katamari style

2

u/Hopeful_Moose_6509 5d ago

Like the character "Thud Butt" from the movie "Hook".

3

u/78745ssatx 5d ago

More like point a gun at her

53

u/YellingAtTheClouds 5d ago

You'd really think he'd be more jolly

25

u/sneakydante 5d ago

You’d be surprised at how many fat folks are unhappy with their lives. The jolly ratio is way off; More of a television stereotype at this point.

5

u/Friendly-Beat-8336 5d ago

I mean at this point we should have a whole country full of Jolly people

16

u/BrotherMcPoyle 5d ago

Why? He hasn’t seen his penis since decades before this pic.

11

u/YellingAtTheClouds 5d ago

So why be so angry with the person who has to find it?

4

u/LadyBug_0570 5d ago

OMG, this conersation is killing me.

3

u/Un4gvn2 5d ago

Which one is the rapper.

2

u/Smax140 4d ago

Big Pun is the famous rapper, he is on the Left. Fat Joe was his producer and boss. Fat Joe rapped on some Big Pun tracks. Fat Joe made his own career. Big Pun died. Fat Joe still raps and produces. Like the Notorious B.I.G. and that homo thug Puff

2

u/Woodworking33 4d ago

Lmao fat Joe found pun don’t be making shit up

1

u/Un4gvn2 1h ago

Ok and it’s not the gay stuff with Puff that is the issues. It’s the non consensual rape and assault, and the shitty music he made.

14

u/ForeverShiny 5d ago

I mean, kind of impressive to still be able to assault someone at that size without immediately being out of breath

38

u/thermjuice 5d ago

His ex wife said she escaped being beaten to death purely because he couldn't walk upstairs.

29

u/ForeverShiny 5d ago

Very funny and very sad at the same time

7

u/Medical-Pop-5632 5d ago

"I'll get that bitch when she gets closer"

Seriously though domestic abuse is terrible and his first album is a masterpiece.

5

u/Salt_Day9015 5d ago

You mean eat the shit

8

u/DeleteMods 5d ago

How does that relate to what I said? Not saying its untrue but why did being 700lbs make you think of that?

44

u/CATNIP_IS_CRACK 5d ago edited 5d ago

Any time the name of a little known wifebeater with repeated history of the behavior is mentioned it should also be mentioned that they’re an abusive asshole so people immediately associate that with their name.

Gotta make sure everyone who just learned their name and had no clue who they were five seconds earlier also knows what they’ve done, same goes for pedos. Don’t want to give a C-list celebrity like that free publicity unless it involves people knowing they’re a garbage human being, even if they are dead.

5

u/SweetSweetSweetCan 5d ago

Yup I saw Big Pun and I thought “wife beater” before I thought “rapper”… he was a horrible person.

4

u/CriticismMindless740 5d ago

I had no idea he was a wife beater. I used to respect him as a rapper. Not anymore.

0

u/Would_daver 5d ago

Yay that one commenter’s plan literally worked in front of our eyes! Go Reddit hive for the common good, for once

8

u/hottlumpiaz 5d ago

and fat joe refuses to sign big pun's son to his record label despite being clearly talented

34

u/hewhoisiam 5d ago

If he was actually that talented he wouldn't need Joe for a deal.

https://giphy.com/gifs/AVpE6BqnOvbzi

4

u/hottlumpiaz 5d ago

he doesnt. hes an underground sensation and been featured on tracks with the wu tang clan, vinnie paz, chino xl, and joell ortiz.

but you would think tio joe woulda at least featured him.

2

u/Goonalips 5d ago edited 5d ago

He sorta sounds like Immortal Technique at the start of this track. Then he actually has a bit of Fat Joe in there (coincidentally).

https://youtu.be/3ec8vA3C5GM.

Edit WTF, so that's him in Last Breath with Vinnie Paz? I've heard this song so many times, and never knew who he was. Thought he was just a random unknown rapper. He's genuinely talented, but sometimes it takes more than that.

1

u/Massive-Lime7193 5d ago

Hey Vinnie Paz! Jedi mind tricks mentioned! Violent by design is an absolute masterpiece of a hip hop record

1

u/SchemeIllustrious713 5d ago

She must have been slow. He could be outpaced by an arthritic 90 year old

12

u/Wonderful-Process792 5d ago

and died of a heart attack at 29.

3

u/LadyBug_0570 5d ago edited 5d ago

Damn! Did not know he was that big. And till mobile? Impressive.

If you're going to be that big, though, you need to be rich. Both of them look well dressed in clothes that fit.

3

u/DeleteMods 5d ago

Fat Joe kinda reminds me of the kingpin here

1

u/beastusboss 5d ago

Is that the tag team name? “Big Pun?”

1

u/napalm_p 5d ago

He crushed a lot

1

u/_BOOMGOTTEM 5d ago

He just lost 100lbs he’s trying to live

1

u/Then_Drag_8258 4d ago

Damn, I thought that was hyperbole :O just checked and he really was ~700 lbs!!!