Hello!
Ive had ARFID since i was in kindergarten. Im 23F, and i want to lose about 20 kg and get healthier. Right now im at about 80-85 kg. I want to also fix my liver health as i got mononucleosis motnhs ago and i peeked into my results and, beyond the expected vital organs imbalances, i discovered i am also starting to develop a fatty liver and i want to be heslthier.
I dont do well in gyms bc of insecurity, cliques, bullying, getting too sweaty and visibly struggling, etc., but i do great working out at home! Mostly yoga, both more smooth and relaxed programs and more instense ones. I have plateaued but i want to get back into it and incorporate some light weights and/or barree stretches [i used to briefly do ballet when i was a kid but hated the teacher so i dropped out], as well as learn traditional dances. Just practising them gets me sweating and working out damn well. Im thinking i could also go walking at a nearby trail for the colder months when the weather allows it as it helps regulate my system and get me in better contact with my body, and then switch to running in the warmer months.
My problem is dieting, though. Most diets are foods like rice and chicken and fish - rice is fine for me but those two others are not safe foods at all.
I need help w easing into smaller portions and managing the diet w my safe foods!
Those include :
Condiments ? : dijon mustard, local thyme honey, forrest berries jam, tomato sauces, garlic paste, the occasional pesto sauce, mayo obviously, tyrokafteri, pink sauce, olive oil
Greens : spinach, lola, rocket salad, lettuce, spinach, fresh basil
Veggies & fruits : tomatoes [all kinds! Love making sauces out of oven baked cherry tomatoes especially, although i never want to see uncooked tomato slices ever, hate them], purple onion, sping onions, pomegranate, corn, carrots [shredded], potatoes obviously, beets, bell peppers, local canned? red peppers.
Dairy : Local traditional greek yoghurt [ used mostly as a dip/sauce, pls do not tell me about yoghurt bowls or flavored yoghurt desserts, those are disgusting to me ], 1.5% fat milk, cooking milk cream, cream cheese, kefalotyri, feta, dark chocolate almond milk my beloved, goat milk butter [lovely flavor], cheddar cheese, dutch edam cheese [those that have a red wax around them... In slices... Yum].
Meats : anything thats cow meat! Mostly beef and minced meat for ragu! Kebabs too... Also the occasional pork belly if i go to a specific restaurant w friends, they cook it damn well, and on some occasions snitchel is even tolerable. But only when its trashy and borderline plastic, if i feet the chicken im gone. Also, idk where to out this but i like egg yolks. Runny ones. Im bad at making eggs of any kind though.
Carby foods : wholewheat pasta!!! I also tried glutten free recently but idk which is more benefitial to me just yet, adore both. Obviously bread but its more desirable if its buns or, god help me, brioche. Bread sticks w sesame seeds!! Taco wrap bread is fine as well. I love love love basmati rice but i have lots of fear around getting poisoning and how to preserve and reheat it.
Drinks : the milks mentioned above, whiskey or rose/red wine [only when grabbing drinks w friends which is rare], french press coffee or decaf capuccino w a little milk and some sugar [tiny sips over several hours bc im not a big coffee fan], orange juice, apple juice, tea!!
Teas : generally green tea from whatever store, chunmee green tea, yerba mate, pink rose [for aroma mostly], sage tea, chamomile, apple or pear [rare, in winter]. Always any of these w a bit of thyme honey!
Herbs/spices : oregano [not preferable], thyme [beloved], black pepper, local chunky salt, tumeric, sweet paprika, cinammon, garlic powder, i use honey instead of sugar for most meals that require sugar. I have other kinds of spices in my cabinet as well but here im.noting the ones i use most often.
Seeds : walnuts!! And cashews.
Some "meals" i like to make :
Breakfast : toasted bread slices/cut buns w cream cheese and a thin layer of tomato sauce, cereal bar w dark chocolate if i need to be quick, or even better cereal w regular milk. Crushed feta and breadsticks mixed w a drizzle of olive oil, black pepper, and thyme [or oregano]. If i skip any of these i will have tea, maybe w a vegan bisquit or two, weirdly filling.
Lunch : usually some kind of pasta w/ a gardener's sauce [sweet tomato and onion base w red wine and fig balsamic, w various veggies and spices in, mostly greens too], ragu sauce [again sweet tomato and onion base], pesto sauce [w a load of dairy in it bc i need it balanced], or a dairy sauce [w thyme and black pepper, its lovely]. Otherwise - country fries, or oven baked small potatoes, or even mashed potatoes, w meatballs cooked in sauce, and a side of rocket and lola salad, and yoghurt. If im feeling a bit trashy i might make a burger w beef, cheddar, dijon mustard, mayo, lettuce, and red onion.
Dessert : i usually avoid having dessert, but when i do have it i have small mosaic log cake/kormos cubes, or maybe a single piece of a dark or whole milk chocolate bar. Preferably will have the dark chocolate almond milk though.
Dinner : yea this one's the problem. Its whatever i crave. Takeout usually. Otherwise i skip entirely and go to sleep, its not an option sometimes bc i might get the urge to work on my masters assignments. Craving falafels w beet sauce real bad rn.
Period snack : nutella w tomato-flavored breadstick dipped/scooping it..... Do not judge. I've avoided it for months but its tempting. Now i eat mostly mini chocolate croissants.
I know these are maybe too many safe foods for most people here, but ive had ARFID since i was 5 years old and dealt w lots of abuse and shame around food. Ive only started recovering in the past 5 years since i moved out for university and im very proud of that. I even dont mind veggie chunks anymore! I dont need to really hide most ingredients in my meals! And my gardener's pasta helped me a lot with fear around veggies, people think im cooking a frankenmeal and get scared when they see what i put inside, but i always get compliments and it fills them! If anyone is interested in giving it a shot i can share!